In the past two years, affected by various external reasons, every Xi'an person has been living a difficult life. Behind this difficulty, there are often many things that we will lose inadvertently, such as dignity, friendship, and even personality and bottom line.
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In the past two days, through my personal real experience, I have more deeply felt the coldness, helplessness and coldness of interpersonal relationships under the pressure of life. Although we are in an open, inclusive and highly civilized era, when material life cannot meet a person's demeanor, it often makes people very strange to others. This strangeness is precisely what we all fear, and it is incurable and irreversible.
episodes 2 families and 6 people cannot afford the down payment
There is a fellow villager who came to work in Xi'an after graduation. Because the school and major are relatively unpopular, he has been unstable in recent years. He has changed seven or eight copies of his work alone, and of course he does not have much personal savings. I remember very clearly that in the winter of 2019, he invited me to dinner and went to the place where he rented it. It was in a city village near a university in the southern suburbs of Xi'an. There was no room even a window, and the life was very bleak.
In this kind of life that is today or tomorrow, this friend has reached the age of talking about marriage. He talked about a girl from the rural area of Xianyang . The girl is an only child and her family is very average. The other party has low requirements. She just buys a house before getting married and writes the woman's name. As for the bride price, just need to be meaningful.
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According to the fact that the woman proposed was not harsh, or even very generous, but my friend still felt that the pressure was huge, especially for him who had poor savings, it was almost difficult to achieve. After learning about this situation, the woman's parents once again stated that they could provide assistance on the down payment for the two of them to buy a house, but asked the man to make a big deal.
Seeing that his future wife's parents were so understanding, this friend couldn't say anything, so he formally considered buying a house with his parents, but his parents were just ordinary rural farmers, and there were two boys studying at home, and life was under great pressure. The two old men pieced together the friend's own accumulation, and the family of three had only prepared 150,000 yuan. The down payment for the second-hand house he and his girlfriend looked at was 300,000 yuan, and the down payment was 60,000 yuan given by the woman's parents, which was still much worse than the down payment.
htmlWith a helplessness, this friend thought of borrowing money from his friends around him. He thought he had encountered difficulties. As long as he opened his mouth, his classmates, relatives and friends would more or less help, but what he could not imagine was that he had contacted more than a dozen classmates in succession. Although everyone had various reasons, they were not rich in a unified manner.
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Of course, these classmates also include me. The reason I gave him was that I just bought car insurance a few days ago, and there was no extra funds on hand for the time being. This friend is also very tactful. After hearing my polite rejection, he never continued to force it.
To be honest, it’s not that I don’t want to help this friend. I really have some doubts about his repayment ability. I would like to ask if a person needs to borrow a down payment for a house and there is also a bank loan. For such a person with a monthly salary of only four or five thousand yuan, what ability will he have to pay off his debts to others in the future? After the incident of
, I gradually alienated my contacts with him. I did not hide because of embarrassment, but I felt a little guilty, but more of a little helpless.
helped him withdraw cash and help him, I deleted my friend's relationship
On the first day of National Day holiday, it was very cold in Xi'an. A friend who had not been in contact for a long time suddenly sent me a WeChat message saying that the withdrawal of KDU is only 0.1 yuan less than that of KDU to help him. I didn't want to pay attention to him, because in my opinion, APPs like KDU are just using routines to consume emotions!
However, inadvertently, I flipped through this friend’s WeChat Moments and found that he had been working on a construction site and was doing a very hard job. He took a short video of his daily work scene, and then accompanied by a very inspiring copywriting, which made people feel a little distressed!
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His latest circle of friends is a content related to a certain DiChou. He said that the patient seeking help was his cousin and asked everyone to help donate charity. From this I guess he must have encountered something bad recently. I don’t know if it was out of sympathy or something else, but I followed the link instructions he sent and took the initiative to download Moduoduo and spent two minutes to help him complete the assistance. After the entire process of
was completed, he replied to me and said thank you and sent me a red envelope. I was afraid that he felt guilty for my kindness, so he didn't politely clicked on the red envelope. The result showed that there was only 0.01 yuan in the red envelope. I suddenly felt a little sad and felt that I was not very capable. Finally, after thinking for a long time, I still deleted his friend... The two small things above
are a test of friendship for me, and it is also a difficult problem to deal with perfectly. I believe that many people have experienced similar things. I cannot learn from others' experience in handling experience. After all, when my ability is limited, helping others without any consequences is often a kind of harm!
