Do you love the sea? When it tsunamis, do you still love it?
Do you love your partner and your children? Do you still love them when they are making things that you can’t stand?
You love the sea, and when it is transparent, blue and quiet, you love it. But when it tsunamis turn black and even floods the village, your love ends.
You love your partner and your children, but once what they do makes you unhappy, you stop loving them.
So, do you love a sea that won’t have a tsunami? That's not the real sea. Do you love someone who always meets your criteria for judgment? That's not the real him either.
Tagore said: May my love shine on you like the sunshine, but also give you brilliant freedom.
The love Tagore mentioned is the highest state of love - unconditional love.
Unconditional love is to love a person. Although he cannot do what you want, he knows how to walk his life path, and you don’t have to push him.
accept the completely real him, let him walk his own way at his own pace; let him live his own life with his own breath.
This is your respect for him, this is the love for his soul, this is the true love itself.
So, how to give the other party unconditional love? Only the following four points have been achieved:
1, do not ask for returns
Many people control their partners and children under the banner of "love".
You want the other party to be obedient;
You want the other party to give you a face;
You want the other party to fulfill your unfulfilled wish...
said, "I love you, I asked you." But there is clearly a word "want" behind it.
This suffocating "love" is far from "unconditional love", and will only make those who are in it want to escape.
When we love someone unconditionally, we only care whether the other person is happy or not, and we don’t care what we can get from this love.
is precisely because we do not seek reward for this love, but instead make us feel more happy.
As American psychologist Eric ·Flom said : "I hope that the person I love can grow or develop in his own way according to his own will, rather than serve my purpose."
So, please ask yourself, what you force others to do, the so-called "all for his own good", is it really not a little selfish?
2. Love him as he is
Ancient Greeks 's description of love "Agape Love", which means: No matter what situation or whether the other party may disappoint himself, we are willing to choose to love.
Love the person who is dressed brightly and the person who throws clothes around; love the person who is motivated and loves him who sleeps in that weekend...
Since you have chosen him at the beginning, you must accept all of him, not the perfect person you think.
What is true love? Love is infinite tolerance and respect, and love can sublimate your soul.
is like humanistic psychology father Carl Rogers said: "Love is a deep understanding and acceptance."
Unconditional love is when we love a person, what we love is the person, no matter what he does.
3, tolerance of differences
Everyone's growth environment, life experience, and behavioral nature will have different impacts on individuals, so the people we love are definitely not exactly the same as us.
You like lightness, he likes spicy food; you like swimming, he likes playing ball; you like squeezing from the front of toothpaste, he likes to squeeze from the back of toothpaste...
is not just a living habit, but the way of looking at the world sometimes will be different. At this time, don't force him to change it for you.
It is precisely because of his personality traits that he became the unique person we love.
True love is not the affectionate and me under the moon, nor is it the eternal promise of many vows, but mutual tolerance and understanding.
Having a tolerant heart to understand true love on earth is also this meaning: unconditional love makes us mature.
4, Continuously paying
Psychologist John Welwood said: Unconditional love is a feeling from the heart. When it comes, we can feel that the once hard and frozen parts in our hearts become soft.
But unconditional love is not a kind of emotion that arises out of thin air. It is a fruit that naturally bears after giving for a person without caring about the results.
The more you give, the deeper the love will be. Therefore, it can be said that unconditional love can be learned and strengthened.
When you give a lot of money for love, even if you don’t want to love the other person, you can’t stop.
Therefore, a person who is stingy with giving must be someone who has no love.
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Unconditional love is actually just one sentence: Love him as he is.
Let your lover be his own, and let your child be his own.
May we live a warm self and accompany, care for and support our family to grow slowly!
