Image source from the Internet
1
"Life will get better if it is bad to a certain extent, because it can't be broken anymore."
Zhang Caixia forgot where she saw this sentence, but she remembered it in her heart from now on. She knew that this was a fashionable "chicken soup". But in life, sometimes we really need chicken soup, just like terminally ill patients need morphine. At least, it temporarily relieves pain and gives people a little hope.
Many times, when Zhang Caixia was completely disappointed with life, this sentence saved her and made her suffer day by day.
In fact, according to the law of conservation of matter, this chicken soup is extremely scientific. As long as you still have a breath, when you walk through the long darkness, you will always encounter light -
Zhang Caixia rides an electric bike and passes through uneven streets and alleys in the twilight. There are various small shops on both sides of the streets, rice noodle shops, fruit stalls, and barber shops... The elderly have already taken their children out for a walk, and there are also young girls who have just gotten off work, wearing fitted work clothes, plump breasts, slender waists, and swaying with their heads.
has lived in this old community for more than ten years. These are scenes that Zhang Caixia is very familiar with. Today is slightly different. At a lottery point at the corner of the alley, a big red banner was pulled up in front of the door, "Congratulations to the lottery player of this site for winning the second prize of 219,260 yuan."
"I don't know who is so lucky", Zhang Caixia thought to herself. Suddenly, she remembered that she had bought lottery tickets here a few days ago.
A hot stream broke out in Zhang Caixia's heart. She stopped an electric car on the side of the road, took out a lottery ticket from her wallet hanging on her wrist, squeezed through the crowd of passionate people, and silently checked the number.
"07, 19, 17, 14..." The fourth number is exactly the same as the winning number.
"Is 200,000 mine? Is it impossible?"
Zhang Caixia's brain buzzed and suddenly had a short circuit. She wiped her eyes and looked over and over again. The number is not wrong! She won the prize! 200,000 is hers! The
betting station was crowded with lottery players, and everyone was still discussing who won the prize. Zhang Caixia clenched the lottery, controlled the slight tremor of her body, and tried to pretend to be nothing. She sneaked out of the betting station and rode on the electric bike...
Zhang Caixia turned the front of the car, left the streets and drove towards the wide road. She couldn't help but speed up, she couldn't control her smile, and she even wanted to shout!
Finally - God finally favored her!
Finally - after too long darkness, she finally saw some light!
2
When Zhang Caixia arrived home, the family was sitting in the living room watching TV.
This house was built in the 1980s, with a small living room and three people have filled the space. Zhang Caixia stepped in between the human legs. There was a large bowl on the dining table against the wall, with food inside. She sat down silently and started eating.
"Why is it so late today?" Her husband Li Jianguo stared at the TV and asked her casually.
"Xiaojia's mother works overtime and comes back a little late," she replied.
"Oh, it's late every time. If you continue like this, you have to add more money! Otherwise, you will come back after eating. Always so hungry, your stomach will be frustrated," the mother-in-law interrupted.
Zhang Caixia is now working as a part-time job in a family, cleaning the house, picking up children from school, making dinner, and leaving when the employer comes back. The employer is a young couple and always keeps her for dinner, but Zhang Caixia refuses. She always feels inferior to her when she has eaten together.
However, Zhang Caixia did not refute her mother-in-law's words. She said "um" twice, hurriedly finished her meal, washed up, and went to bed early. However, she didn't close her eyes all night, and her wallet was pressed under her pillow, and she reached out to touch her countless times.
The husband next to him snored like thunder, and Zhang Caixia seemed to be unable to hear it at all. She had checked the route to receive the prize tomorrow. She had already thought about how to deal with the money.
The next day, before the family got up, Zhang Caixia went out. When she arrived at the Provincial Welfare Lottery Center, she was told by the concierge that she would not redeem the prize today on Sunday! Zhang Caixia was stunned for a moment and laughed silently. She was really blinded by the 200,000 yuan and forgot to watch it even the days.
On the way back, Zhang Caixia took the lottery ticket out of her wallet and stuffed it into the lining pocket of her coat.The wallet was bought by Zhang Caixia at a roadside stall three years ago, at 15 yuan per person. Now the edge has been stripped off, and the straps hanging on her wrist are in danger.
The bus was crowded, and Zhang Caixia felt that the lottery worth 200,000 yuan could not be placed in this seemingly unreliable small bag.
3
After all, I didn’t sleep all night. When I got home, Zhang Caixia was sleepy and took off her coat and fell asleep as soon as she lay on the bed.
I don’t know how long I slept, but Zhang Caixia heard the sound of cooking in a daze, and the sound of Li Jianguo talking to her son. She opened her eyes and reached out to touch her coat by the bed, but she felt empty!
Zhang Caixia sat up “rubbing”. She clearly remembered that her coat was just by the bed, so why did it disappear! She didn't care about wearing shoes, opened the door and rushed into the living room, "Did you see the coat on my bed?"
"I saw you wearing it for a few days and threw it into the washing machine for you." Li Jianguo was repairing a broken electric fan without raising his head.
Zhang Caixia heard the old washing machine in the bathroom, stirring "clang clang". Her heart seemed to have been thrown into the washing machine, and was shattered by the pulsator.
She rushed into the bathroom and opened the lid of the washing machine. She saw the ginger jacket being stirred in a pile of clothes and spinning. Zhang Caixia was almost completely shattered, and she didn't care about anything else and reached out to grab it. As a result, all the clothes were entangled, almost rolling her hands in.
"You are crazy!" Li Jianguo came in after hearing the sound. He was so scared that he quickly pulled his wife away.
Zhang Caixia's face turned pale and her lips trembled. She pointed to the washing machine and said, "My lottery, 200,000!"
Li Jianguo pulled out the plug of the washing machine, "What 200,000?"
Zhang Caixia didn't answer, but squeezed over, picked up the coat, and trembled and picked out a small piece of paper from the lining pocket. The paper sheets have been soaked, and fortunately, the washing machine has just started and the paper sheets are intact.
"I really won 200,000?" Li Jianguo was stunned.
"Yes", Zhang Caixia ignored him and held the soaked piece of paper and called her son, "Li Heng, hurry up, find the hair dryer!"
Now, the whole family was alarmed.
4
For those two days, the entire Li family was in a state of depression and excitement. Everyone's face was shining, but they were silent to the outside world. The bonus of
has been received. Excluding the tax, it has been completed in just over 200,000 yuan. That night, Li Jianguo bought back a few kilograms of shrimp for the first time, told my mother to make braised shrimps, and told Zhang Caixia to come back early and wait for her to have dinner together.
The family sat at the dining table, eating shrimps and drinking wine, Li Jianguo was full of confidence. He has been so frustrated in the past few years. First, my father got sick, then my wife got sick. The money I finally saved was flowing out like water.
He comforted himself, and he was a life of losing money. How could he have the luck of Li Jianguo in his life?
Li Jianguo had already thought about the use of this money. This old house that has been around for decades needs to be well decorated. There is no flue in the kitchen, and it is still equipped with the old-fashioned exhaust fan . As soon as the dishes are cooked, the house is filled with smoke. In addition, the floor is loose, and none of the furniture is intact. It's just a mess.
"You have to make a floor-to-ceiling shoe cabinet when you enter the door." Li Jianguo spitted out, and his son and grandmother were also excited.
The son gave his opinion, "I want to participate in the study tour camp this summer vacation, but I have never been to the whole class. This time, Lotte also needs to go..."
"It costs 30,000 to 40,000 yuan to go, it's just a robbery of money. Besides, what can I learn?" Li Jianguo waved his hand and interrupted his son, his mind was full of his decoration plan.
No one asked Zhang Caixia what wishes she has and what plans she has?
At night, Li Jianguo remained in anger and touched his wife a few times, and then he wanted to act. Zhang Caixia held him and whispered, "I want to keep this money."
"What are you keeping?"
In the darkness, the woman pulled the man's hand over and pressed it on her sunken chest.
"I want to pretend to be two. I've asked about it. 200,000, just enough!"
Li Jianguo was silent. For a moment, he broke his hand away, "What are you doing with these useless things? I have never despised you."
" But I dislike myself," Zhang Caixia raised her voice, "I think I am not a human being! "
5
overnight, the atmosphere of the Li family changed. Li Jianguo's face was as deep as iron, and Zhang Caixia remained silent.
The mother-in-law quickly realized something was wrong and asked her son secretly. After knowing the whole story, the old lady slapped her thigh, "Spend 200,000 to make two fake milk? Are you crazy? "
She volunteered to talk to Zhang Caixia, "You are all forty years old, and you are not a girl in your twenties. What's the point of spending so much money now to pretend to be two fake things? I tell you, when you reach my age, you still feel burdened with those two things. "
Seeing that Zhang Caixia didn't say anything, the mother-in-law continued, "What about this money, you got it from buying the lottery. We have to respect your opinions on how to spend it. But you also know that Jianguo’s father spent a lot of money on hospitalization before, but later it was you, and his family had already been empty. Now, Li Heng is also old. Look at the family's appearance, he is embarrassed to take his classmates home. This money has to be spent on the blade. "
" Since we are a family, we must work together. Think about it, when you got that disease back then, if the founding of the People's Republic of China had two minds and only thought about yourself, how could our family be in a neat way? You also know that Jianguo is an honest person. Have he ever despised you in the past two years? It’s not easy for him to be a man, so don’t be unable to get along with yourself. "
Although my mother-in-law doesn't study much, she is familiar with the worldly ways and every sentence hits the key points.
Indeed, if it were not for the support of Li Jianguo and his family, Zhang Caixia would not have been able to get to this day. Three years ago, Zhang Caixia was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer. After hearing the doctor's treatment plan, Zhang Caixia was so scared that she was speechless. When she heard the "metastasis" and "dispersed", Li Jianguo even said nothing and signed the agreement form for the radical breast cancer surgery.
After painful total surgery and chemotherapy, Zhang Caixia's health gradually improved. Her relatives and friends expressed congratulations, but she could no longer be happy
6
At that time, Zhang Caixia just wanted to live. Thinking about it, compared with life, breasts What is the room? But when she finally survived, she found that there was a kind of life, which was better than death.
She still remembers the first time she saw the two terrifying wounds. The shock shattered her heart. From then on, she never looked directly. When she changed her underwear, she almost closed her eyes, and when she took a shower, she didn't dare to turn on the light.
Every day before getting up or going to bed, when her fingers accidentally touched the earthworm-like scars and terrible depressions on her chest, Zhang Caixia felt pain.
Yes, Li Jianguo didn't seem to dislike her, but she despised herself. She couldn't stand her husband's touching her incomplete body, and she couldn't stand such herself. The fun and happiness of being a woman The blessing has long disappeared.
However, no one understands her pain. Everyone feels that she should be thankful for saving her life. Zhang Caixia feels that she is locked up in a huge black hole, surrounded by blackness, and she is isolated and helpless.
This 200,000 yuan from the sky gave Zhang Caixia hope.
She knows that her husband needs this money, her son needs this money, and the whole family needs this money. She knows that spending 200,000 yuan to do two fake breasts, in their opinion, she is crazy!
However, Zhang Caixia is very clear that she must first become a complete and mentally healthy woman, so that she can live with dignity. She has the energy to love the people around her . That kind of love is not pleasing, not exchange, but an energy-rich person, like the sun, naturally radiating and warmth.
Zhang Caixia also knows that her family will not support her. So, at first she wanted to hide the news of winning the prize, but later, she used her ID card to apply for a "winning card".
She has made up her mind to be willful and selfish!
Zhang Caixia doesn't know what is waiting for her in front? Maybe it's her husband's parting ways, maybe it's her son's complaints and blames, or maybe it's sarcasm from others, but she can't care so much anymore.
She remembered the sentence again, "Life will get better if it's bad to a certain extent, because it can't be bad anymore."
Let her be a woman first, then a wife and mother!
END
