A few days ago, a friend who has not seen for a long time came to me: "Guorong, I treat you to dinner in the evening. I want to chat with you. I feel very bored during this period and I have a lot of confusion. I want to talk to you."
I said okay, so I went with him to have a buffet on the turntable of a five-star hotel.
Actually, I don’t like eating in crowded places. I like one or two people in quieter places, drinking tea and chatting while eating. Eating is never the purpose. People have such a big stomach. How much can they eat? Exchange ideas and discuss life is the goal.
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If there is a flow of thoughts, exchange of knowledge, and sharing of life insights, this is the best.
The ancients in the past, especially literati and scholars, would practice wine and write poems when eating, such as Li Bai's "Open the banquet to sit on flowers, fly 六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六六
This friend talked to me about a question: Why do people live? What is the meaning of living?
This friend is a small leader in the administrative department. He has been in charge of many projects. He is very busy and has a great responsibility. He runs around the construction site all day long.
His life is busy and busy. He is fifty-seven years old this year and is about to retire. He now has several houses, and his child is studying abroad. His wife is one year older than him and has retired early.
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However, he felt that life was boring. He said, "I feel inexplicably empty and bored now. Looking back on my life, it seems that nothing is left behind. I don't want to live well and live without meaning and value in the remaining twenty or thirty years." He asked me, "How to live well? Introduce me your experience and your understanding." I said, "Okay." Actually, before this, I had an answer to this question, but I did not make a theoretical summary, and did not summarize it into one or two powerful words. At that time, a sentence suddenly popped up in my mind: "Man lives for the sake of seeing the scenery." Why did I suddenly think of this sentence? Because I remembered a sentence from Maslow . Among the standards of "self-realization of personality", Maslow is the healthiest and the most perfect person. He has fourteen or five personality traits. One feature is described as follows: "has the ability to feel new to daily life."
What does this mean? In the eyes of others, every day is ordinary, there is nothing new, nothing surprising or happy about it.
But mentally healthy people don’t do this: he sees the sun new every day; he sees the clouds beautiful every day; he sees the blue sky every day will arouse his rich imagination; an oil painting, a bird’s cry, including a child walking past him, including a leaf, and a drop of dew hanging on the leaf will arouse his beauty and a rich imagination. He sees that he is new every day, which is called "often feels new" 's ability.
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Healthy people will not stop feeling beauty, will not think that life is ordinary, and will not think that life is boring and boring.
This is what Maslow said, which is an important criterion for healthy personality . If you can’t feel the beauty in life, the surprise, or the surprise, then you are either old or sick.
A healthy mind will discover and react to beauty anytime, anywhere, and will also express beauty. So I told him that people live to see the scenery.
He didn't understand what he meant, please explain.
If your eyes look at the scenery, do you still have time to see those little things? We have to control our eyes and turn our eyes toward beauty.
For example, this is ugly, this is war, this is blind enthusiasm, this is a group of mobs, this is the scandal of those celebrities, we are now watching these things.
Then please turn your head over: look at the scenery, look at the clouds, look at the dusk, look at the flowing storm, look at the morning mist, listen to the sound of waves, and the sound of waves.
How much I love your calmness, your passion, your silence at dawn, and your capricious passion. Turn your head around and appreciate nature more.
See less artificial things, and you must look good and love things made in heaven. Your happiness comes.
Look at the World Trade Center in Shanghai, where there are tall buildings. Someone saw it and was amazed: Wow, awesome! What else besides being awesome? !
Artificial things are certainly a kind of beauty, but they are limited beauty, and they are incomparable to the beauty of nature.
You get on the plane and fly at an altitude of more than 10,000 meters; you are looking down at the earth, do you see which thing on the earth is not small? There is nothing great on the ground, it is very small.
So we must learn to look up at the starry sky. The starry sky is also one of the most important elements worth our observation, appreciation and thinking about.
people are just watching the scenery when they are alive. It is to let our eyes and soul see and feel beauty!
But many of us are busy living and give up our awareness of appreciating beauty. You must have a strong sense of appreciation for beauty, especially the beauty of nature.
When you go to the prairie, your mind suddenly becomes bigger, forget everything, think about nothing, this world belongs to you, you can sing, dance, and run wildly.
I went to hulunbuir twice last year and wanted to go to the third time. I told the driver, you go to places where there are fewer people, and go to places where ordinary people don’t. Standing on the grassland and looking at the vast grassland, your mind suddenly becomes as vast as the world. You can't help but think of that voice in your heart - " Hulunbuir Grassland ..."
You can also go to Tibet to see the mountains. There is nothing particularly good in the grasslands in Tibet, not as good as those in Xinjiang and Inner Mongolia. But Tibet is still worth seeing when snow-capped mountains, pine forests, and lakes.
Nature presents us with so much beauty that the earth is called the vase of God. We don't appreciate it, but we appreciate women's butts all day long. It depends on those idle things, and there is no need to fight and kill them like that!
I can only talk to this point, there is no need! Pay attention to your life and the beauty of nature.
This is our purpose of living. To live is to see the scenery.
Of course, this "scenery" is broad. You look at all natural things that cause beauty. A grass grows on the roof and an dog tail grass grows in front of your house. They are all worthy of your appreciation. There are secrets inside it.
The natural sentiment of the ancients was very strong and very strong. "The sycamore tree is also drizzling, to dusk, " , you see how beautiful this scene is.
For modern people, I don’t appreciate modern people. No matter how advanced things they can make, their soul is dry.
The love of the past: "Red crisp hands, yellow vine wine, spring-colored palace walls willows all over the city..." Modern people look at the ring with their hands, but how can they still see their hands? Their souls are dry, and most people's souls are deserts and barren lands.
A American writer wrote a book called "Scarecrow" to satirize modern people. Modern people are scarecrows, and there is no connotation in it. Don't look at him sitting on Mercedes-Benz BMW, living in a villa, all of which are empty shells. That's true.
Looking at the scenery all the way! There is a song that is sung like this: "I can't read the beautiful scenery along the way..." I died without looking carefully. Isn't this a pity? Look carefully and don't worry.
Then, there are three things left to do:
First, learn more and accumulate all kinds of knowledge. Knowledge is the wealth of the soul. People with rich knowledge and high wisdom are rich in souls. There are many savings and poor souls. Such people are not only corrupt, but also corrupt.
The second is to train wisdom.
Third, enjoy the relationship, what kind of relationship? Enjoy friendship, love, and family affection well, it is enough!
Learned from Li Bai. Li Bai had three things in his life, and he didn't like anything else: fine wine! Beautiful scenery! Beauty! Li Bai is not like Du Fu, and Du Fu lives a more depressing life. Du Fu said: "In August, the high wind roared, rolling the three-fold thatched ones on my house, and the thatched ones flew across the river and sprinkled across the river." Li Bai, "Don't you see the water of the Yellow River coming from the sky." The momentum is completely different. What does your triple and fourth-level thirst have nothing to do with me? What I want to see is the water of the Yellow River.
Life needs to be thought, and if you don’t think, you will fall into confusion and confusion. After I communicated with my friend, my friend was very satisfied and said, "I didn't spend a few hundred dollars today. We have eaten and agreed." I said, "You spend money to give me physical food, and I will give you spiritual food for free. We call it a peach and reward me with plums."
This is a beautiful life!
Author profile
Wang Guorong, a psychologist, independent scholar, writer, the founder of China's holistic psychotherapy, and the first person in China's evidence-based psychotherapy. He was once the chief academic consultant of the Psychologist Magazine and a senior psychotherapist at Shanghai Boai Hospital . He is one of the most powerful and talented psychologists in China.
has published more than ten influential psychology monographs. Among them, " Breakthrough Treatment for Student Psychological Problems " was listed as a collection of books by hundreds of domestic universities such as Peking University , Tsinghua University , , etc., "50 Psychological Treatment and Adjustment Methods" won the Most Popular Readers Book Award in the China College Press Alliance, "The 10 Most Important Relationships in Life" was listed as a Psychological Master Series by China Culture Press , and "Shaking Hands with Depression" won the Most Popular Professional Book Award in the Readers.
