Many people learn to suppress their emotions in their hearts without realizing it. When asked by others, they will underestimate it: "It's pretty good" and be perfunctory.
Report good news or bad news is not only for your family, but also for your friends and confidants around you.
seems to be omnipotent as long as you don’t show weakness.
However, in many cases, a strong state is precisely a manifestation of a person's insecurity: he cannot trust others, dare not express his own thoughts, and dare not face the problems he encounters with his family and friends. I am only willing to give my fragility to the night and wait until dawn to regain my strength.
A person with a sense of security will not choose to handle all problems by himself, but will know how to use the strength to fight, and will always put himself in a comfortable state.
A person’s sense of security cannot be separated from these points. Let’s see if you have it.
001
A person's sense of security is inseparable from the love he got in childhood
Teacher Wu Zhihong mentioned in the book "Why Love hurts people": There are actually ten abilities to manage feelings, and it requires a sense of security as the basis. People with high sense of security naturally know how to manage their feelings, while people with low sense of security naturally tend to avoid problems and fantasize about the right people.
Sense of security and insecurity are mostly formed in the relationship between the child and the mother before the age of three. If a person does not feel safe, then there is a powerful force in his heart, always eager to retreat to the state of infants and toddlers and continue to feed in his mother's arms.
A classmate of mine, although his mother divorced when she was a child, her love she gave her did not diminish at all, but instead increased. So when she encounters various choices in life, she is calm and rarely hears her complaining about the world and pity herself. In her words: No matter how poor she is, she still has a warm safe haven for her to shelter from the wind and rain.
Although most of her life paths are chosen by herself, the love and absolute trust of her family give her enough confidence to overcome many obstacles and live the life she wants.
The sense of security formed in childhood can still protect a person when you grow up. I saw a sentence online: People who are lucky are healed in their childhood, while people who are unfortunate are used to heal their childhood.
A person’s sense of security is inseparable from the love and trust given to him by his original family.
If you don’t have a good original family, you can only create your own sense of security. This process is like a person working hard to spend hundreds of thousands of yuan to buy a house. Only the parties involved understand the difficulties.
002
A person's sense of security cannot be separated from profound knowledge
Many people will recommend that people around them read more, but it is really difficult for an adult to spare more than half a child's whole time to read every day.
I heard a book some time ago, and the story of the male protagonist impressed me. He was picked up by his master in a cave since he was a child, and since then he has been living in the mountains with his master and studying medicine. During his decades in the mountains, he read the whole book, proficient in six foreign languages, knows tea making and acupuncture, and knows the structure of the human body.
Master ordered him to go down the mountain to practice medicine, so he also encountered various unexpected events and hardships.
Once, in order to shoot a perfect music video, he and the No. 3 climbed to a mountain full of peach blossoms, but got lost on the mountain and entered another world of paradise.
only has water and bamboo shoots, several houses and flowering peach trees all over the mountain. They were trapped in the mountains for 7 days and 7 nights before they found the exit. During this period, the female No. 3 was emotionally collapsed, but the male protagonist calmly meditated and practiced every day, played instruments and found a way out.
finally saw through the Five Elements Formation in the Peach Tree Forest and found a way out through his firm belief and spiritual consciousness.
When the male protagonist was treating people, whenever someone could not understand his treatment method, he was calm and patiently explained to the other party why he treated him in such a way.
A person’s sense of security cannot be separated from profound knowledge, which will become a life-saving straw for a person when he is in danger.I often hear others say: When you have knowledge, you have the ability and confidence to see the world.
If you are always worried about gains and losses and have a low sense of security, you can read more. If you cannot squeeze out the whole piece of time to read, you can choose to listen to books, keep thinking independently and reflect frequently, which can cultivate our sense of security more and more.
003
A person's sense of security cannot be separated from his belief in himself
I remember a girl told me that her leader changed jobs and hoped that she could work hard with her in another company, and the treatment was twice as good as her now.
She really wants to go. She feels that with the leader's work ability, she can achieve good results in less than half a year.
She went home to discuss with her partner. The partner didn't know the leader's personality and style of conduct, so she asked the girl to continue working in the original company with certainty, and said in front of the girl that her leader had other plans and other various speculations.
After hearing her husband's words, the girl continued to work in her original unit. However, after the leader changed jobs, many colleagues began to exclude her and cause various troubles for her at work. She felt very helpless and had no sense of security at work, for fear of accidentally messing up the matter. Within a few months, she had the idea of resigning.
A person who is insecure will unconsciously rely on people around him. He asks people around him to make decisions in many things and asks people around him to help make decisions. He often does not believe that he can do something well and can control his life.
Many times, a person's sense of security comes from his inner self-confidence.
You should know that a good life is created by oneself. If you don’t believe that you are creative, your thinking and feelings, you can only live with others. Relying too much on others will only become the other person’s drag and lose yourself.
Most adults have their own sense of security.
If the original family does not give you enough sense of security, then from now on, believe in your own feelings and decisions from the bottom of your heart, cultivate your own sense of security, reduce your expectations for others, and quit dependence on others.
Learn to think independently and make decisions, and be a person with a sense of security.
(The picture is from the Internet, please delete if infringes.)
