Do you want to have a sense of control over your own life?
no longer browse the phone in boredom;
no longer stay up all night chasing an online article;
no longer buy and buy uncontrollably;
no longer deliberately gossip in order to be seen;
I no longer always feel the emptiness inside and need to do something to fill it...
I think almost everyone will say without hesitation, "I think, I want more time, energy and money, and I want to control my life." , I want a better lifestyle. "
Because I also desire the same, and I am also working hard to identify, overcome soft addiction, and change my lifestyle.
Recently I was reading a book "Soft Addiction", the core appeal is "End those compulsive habits that steal your time and take away your life" . When reading this book, I always stop from time to time, think over and over again, constantly compare my own behavior, and finally understand why I can't control myself from browsing on my mobile phone, browsing online stores, buying clothes, reading online articles, and chasing after others. Gossip and more.
I was deeply shocked by the author's words: "You will not die from soft addiction to , it just makes you not live well enough ." If you want to live a better life, you have to face up to the ubiquitous soft addictions in your life.
The author of this book, Judith Wright, is an expert on marriage and lifestyle. Her other book "How to Quarrel Correctly" became a bestseller in China. Based on feedback, this book has saved many families’ marriages and relationships. Focusing on lifestyle research, Judith Wright has more than 15 years of experience helping many people get out of the swamp of soft addiction. I believe this book will be of great inspiration to those of us who are immersed in soft addiction behaviors.
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What is “soft addiction”?
According to the author, soft addiction can be a habit, compulsive behavior, recurring emotion, lifestyle or thought pattern.
The essence of soft addiction is that they can satisfy superficial desires but ignore or block deeper needs. They replace real feelings or achievements with a superficial sense of pleasure or accomplishment, causing us to ignore our own feelings and spiritual world.
The author divides soft addiction into four categories:
Category 1: Behavior. Some of the activities we habitually indulge in are watching TV shows, socializing, shopping and other activities.
Category 2: Escape behavior. In order to avoid doing something that you don't want to do, you show the opposite side, such as pretending to be shy to avoid saying hello to people you hate.
Category 3: Emotions/lifestyle. When you feel frustrated because of your failure to cover up, you convey to others the relaxed mood of "participation is the most important".
Category 4: Food/Consumer Products.
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How to identify “soft addiction”?
In "Soft Addiction", the author suggests that you can examine your behavior through three questions to see whether it constitutes soft addiction:
How much time/money did I spend on this matter?
What is my motivation?
What do I feel?
For example, I read online articles myself. Looking back, I spent at least 5-6 hours reading online articles every day.
So why should I read online articles? What's the motivation? Filling boring time, escaping reality or satisfying unsatisfied princess complex? Maybe some of both.
Finally, what do I feel? The answer is that after reading it, I feel exhausted both physically and mentally. It’s okay to be physically tired, but I will recover after taking a rest and exercising. The problem is that I will have an endless sense of emptiness mentally, and I will even despise and doubt myself because I am addicted to it again.
So for me, this is a kind of soft addiction, a behavior that satisfies superficial desires while ignoring deep needs.
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To overcome "soft addiction", in addition to filling up your time, you can also change your attitude and approach
I can say clearly that I Knowing what to do is beneficial to my work and life, but I often feel depressed for a day or two after a busy day, with no interest, no energy, and no strength. I just want to hang on, so I look for a book with a good reputation. When you start reading an online article, you must finish reading it. Many times, the logic of these books is very poor, so you will read it while dismissing it.
I also despised my behavior and repeated it intermittently.
In order to overcome this behavior, I took the initiative to work part-time, take elective courses, and volunteer. When there was no class time, I had to go hiking or cycling. In short, I kept myself busy and had no time to indulge in it. It seems that some results have been achieved, but after a long time, you will feel very tired, from the bottom of your heart.
After reading this book, I reflected that I had ignored the spiritual needs deep in my heart. I just filled up the time, but my heart was still empty, which is the so-called "empty person".
In addition to filling up time and passively restraining soft addiction, the book "Soft Addiction" gives us another method.
Take the example of someone who likes to watch TV dramas. Another woman also likes to watch TV. This woman does not blindly accept TV programs, but watches TV with her own purpose. She will choose some inspiring and educational ones. Or watch a program that can give her a new perspective on problems.
She prefers foreign culture, nature, art and other programs, so she will arrange and plan the time to watch TV in advance for her favorite programs, and actively absorb new things while watching TV.
This method is worth learning from. It is not to rely on will to completely quit a behavior, but to change one's attitude and approach, and actively make choices about what content to watch, what information to obtain, and what content to output.
In this book, the author summarizes his experience into 8 key life skills , which are:
ØüMake your core decisions
ØüDetermine your soft addiction
ØüPay attention to your thinking
ØüCrack your soft addiction Password
ØüMeet your spiritual needs
ØüBuild your vision
ØüAchieve the vision by addition and subtraction
ØüGet support and take responsibility
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Written at the end
In daily life, soft addiction is very subtle but powerful enough to consume a lot of time and energy; soft addiction is also tempting enough, and we are trapped in it unknowingly and cannot extricate ourselves; most importantly, soft addiction It is confusing enough to make us satisfied with superficial desires and become numb to spiritual needs.
The book "Soft Addiction" is carefully designed with "more thinking" and "more action", allowing us to fully understand the characteristics of soft addiction and master the methods of dealing with it.
Under the guidance of the author of this book, I believe that we will be able to focus on our personal vision, break the code of soft addiction "formation", catch the "time killer", and enjoy a more fulfilling and interesting life.
Easier said than done. Learning to satisfy our spiritual needs is easy to remember, but difficult to use with ease.
Fortunately, the book "Soft Addiction" gives a large number of cases to explain how to use these 8 skills and how to improve the ability to meet spiritual needs in work and daily life.
believes that by reading it frequently and practicing deliberately, you will be able to get rid of soft addiction, satisfy your spiritual needs, and create a beautiful lifestyle.
