A person who is good at fighting will not get angry, a person who is good at gentleness will not argue, and a person who is good at winning will not fight.
I have read a sentence: "Not getting angry when things happen, not arguing about right or wrong, not arguing about winning or losing, is the great wisdom in life."
Think about it carefully, it is indeed true.
All the troubles people have come from their inner restlessness.
People with cultivation can keep their composure, see right and wrong, let go of gains and losses, and live a transparent, free and easy life.
01
Not being angry is a kind of cultivation
The word "anger" when broken down means "slave heart". When people are angry, their hearts are enslaved.
I have read the story "The Angry Donkey".
There was a donkey. It was working hard in the mill, and suddenly a stray dog came over and waggled its tail and said sarcastically:
"Oh, you stupid donkey is so pitiful. It only deserves to be grinded in the yard. You live." It's not as happy as me living for one day in my life!"
After hearing this, the donkey became furious and rushed forward quickly.
But the dog ran too fast and couldn't catch up. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became and he had no intention of working at all.
At this time, the owner's eight-year-old son came over to ride the donkey. The donkey had no place to vent, so it kicked the child out, causing the child to have a bloody head.
The owner was so angry that he sold the donkey directly to the slaughterhouse.
The tragedy of donkey , in fact, we have all experienced it more or less in real life.
In life, you will always encounter people who make irresponsible remarks about you.
If you lose your mind and go to war, you will only lose control of your emotions and lead to an irreversible deadlock. In the end, you will be the one who suffers.
As the saying goes: One moment of patience can control a hundred humiliations, and one moment of silence can control a hundred angers.
If you are angry but don't speak, your angry words will not go to your ears. If you let others go, you will also let yourself go.
Writer Goethe's poems were widely praised at the time, but some people had prejudices.
Once on a narrow path, Goethe met a critic.
Critics have always been dissatisfied with Goethe's works. He said arrogantly: "I never give way to idiots."
Goethe was not angry. Instead, he stepped aside and smiled and said: "I am just the opposite."
Faced with the unpleasant situation Laughing it off is the most powerful counterattack.
A person should be like a river. If you encounter obstacles, go around them. If you can't go around them, accumulate strength and let them flow over.
Su Dongpo once said:
"Don't be surprised when something happens, and don't get angry when something happens for no reason. The person it holds hostage is very big, and its ambition is far-reaching."
In life, you win with kindness, but you lose with temper. The most valuable thing is the atmosphere.
Only when you can control your temper can you take control of your life.
02
Not arguing is a pattern
I read a question online: "What is it like to argue with others?"
There is an answer in the comment area, which tells what most people really think:
was blushing at the time. He was incoherent and just wanted to overwhelm the other party. When he went back to review the situation, he came up with a clever rebuttal, and then he became angrier the more he thought about it.
Have you had a similar experience?
After arguing with others, I felt that I did not perform well afterwards, and I felt even more regretful.
One quarrel, two injuries, just some unnecessary consumption.
Entrepreneur Musk once said:
"I won't argue with people now, because everyone can only think at his own cognitive level.
In the future, if someone says that two plus two equals ten, I will say that you are really awesome, you Absolutely correct! "
I would rather fight with a sensible person than say a word to a confused person.
Not being easy to argue is not only the wisdom in dealing with things, but also the pattern of life.
Fu Bi, a famous person in the Northern Song Dynasty , was good at debating.
Once, a poor scholar stopped him in the street and said, "I heard that you are eloquent, so let me ask you a question."
Fu Bi replied warmly, "Yes, please tell me."
"If someone openly How should you respond when someone insults you? "
" I will pretend not to hear. "
The man laughed at Fu Bi for being a coward, and turned around and left.
The servant on the side was anxious.
Fu Bi said: "This man comes with anger. If I argue with him, I will be red-faced. Even if I win the argument, it will be in vain because of my dissatisfaction."
Zhuangzi said: There is no need to argue in a big way.
If you are wrong, there is no use in talking; if you are right, the facts will naturally come out.
Porcelain should never fight against bricks, and people with low cognition should not try to correct it.
In this way, everyone does not interfere with each other and lives in peace in their own worlds.
Still water runs deep, but a wise man is of few words.
Learn to be silent and forbearing, be sensible and think more, and concentrate on cultivating yourself. This is the overall pattern of life.
03
Not fighting is a kind of wisdom
"Tao Te Ching" says: The way of heaven is to benefit without harm; the way of the saint is to do without fighting.
Fighting is just unwillingness to fight for a breath.
However, if you force yourself too much, you will actually be struggling with yourself.
read a short story.
There was a fisherman who fished for a fishing team. He went out happily every day and came back humming a song even if the net was empty. He lived a simple and happy life.
One day, he unexpectedly caught a piece of gold and was ecstatic. He didn't sing that night and dreamed about the future.
The next day, he sold the gold and borrowed a loan shark, bought a fishing boat, hired several fishermen, and started a fishing business.
Over the past few years, the business has grown bigger and bigger.
But he could no longer laugh. Every day he was either worrying about the weather or competing with other fishing teams for fish prices. He had no peace of mind for a moment.
A tornado caused the boat to run aground on the rocks, causing heavy losses. The fisherman's mood fell to the extreme and he walked on the beach in frustration.
At this time, he saw a homeless man lying on the beach, basking in the sun and humming a song.
The fisherman asked puzzledly: "You have nothing, how can you be so happy?"
The tramp said: "I have sunshine, health, and freedom, why should I be unhappy?"
The fisherman suddenly realized that he remembered that he had been a contented man before. People who are always happy have lost their instinct of happiness just because they strive for it blindly.
Master of Traditional Chinese StudiesNan Huaijin said:
Only those who are confused by desire in life must distinguish between superior and inferior.
No dispute, this is the ultimate state of life.
Don’t argue, it’s not that you don’t pursue but don’t force it. You know what to do and what is most suitable.
It is the normal state of life to love something without asking for it. What is supposed to come will eventually come, and there is no point in forcing what is not supposed to come.
Just do your best in everything, and don't be too demanding about results.
" Cai Gen Tan " said: "If a husband does not fight, no one in the world can fight with him."
The most beautiful scenery in life is just to be quiet and not fight, to be content and happy, to gain calmly and to lose calmly, to be indifferent and at ease in the heart. .
Laozi once said: "Those who are good at fighting do not get angry, those who are good at meekness do not argue, and those who are good at winning do not argue."
Only by being calm can you achieve greatness; silence is the best excuse; keep a normal heart, and life will be smooth. A lot less worries.
Human life is a process of constant reconciliation with oneself and the world.
Source: Insights
