smartphones, many people are used to lying on the sofa and playing with their phones as soon as they get home, checking WeChat and TikTok . Although they are bored sometimes, they still play for hours. Because we were playing with our phones, we forgot to clean the room, ate a not-so-healthy dinner, and then waited until it was time to rest before going to bed.
Only at this moment did we suddenly think that tonight's time was all wasted.
So we told ourselves that we can’t play with our mobile phones like this tomorrow, but we had already forgotten it the next day and still did it the same way. What is the reason for
?
In fact, we don’t even realize that our phones, not ourselves, are controlling our nights.
Of course, this is just an assumption.
I am not teaching you to be anti-entertainment and then go back to the age of academic humans, but I hope that we understand through this assumption that everyone except ourselves.
Everything should be a tool that we use to build a better life, rather than dedicating our lives to them. Only self-control can help us do this.
The lack of self-control has become a bottleneck for many people's self-improvement and development. Perhaps they first need to clarify what self-control is from the meaning of the word, which is the power of self-control.
As the masters of ourselves, we must have complete control over ourselves.
Specifically, when we value self-control, we will be able to do what we should do correctly and in a timely manner, and behave as we should. Otherwise other forces, whether bad habits, other people, or the environment around us, will step in and directly control us. Because of this, the discussion of self-control can actually be seen as the ability to protect oneself.
You might as well imagine this way, what if we do not regard changing ourselves as a victory over ourselves, but as a drive against external forces?
When we face the enemy that forcibly enters our hearts, the first instinct is The response should be to defeat them and contain their continuous counterattacks. Only in this way can we avoid self-escape or withdrawal.
Even if a person is weak at heart and has poor control, he or she is not without the ability to defeat external forces.
But they have suppressed their ability to control, so this energy cannot function in the correct way, but is transformed into other negative influences and controls.
Imagine a very common example. When we are writing a report to be handed over to the client tomorrow in front of the computer, our friend's QQ avatar in the lower right corner of the screen is constantly flashing.
We originally wanted to turn off QQ, but we were afraid of missing some gossip.
So we began to constantly debate whether to read that message or continue to face the report to the customer.
Our inner self is supposed to firmly defend the control of our own mind.
began to divert part of the attention to maintain writing reports, and the other part to resist messages from friends.
However, such self-contradiction and struggle have already made us lose.
Think about it, whether it is a team or an individual, how many can withstand internal divisions and struggles?
This is called internal friction. We are all ordinary people, and there is no way to become a genius and a madman, a hero and a villain at the same time. Therefore, when we disperse our control, we will also face the outcome of failure, which is why we need to change our self-control. The best control is not to struggle against external factors, but to get rid of those false and unnecessary controls from the outside. Allowing yourself to be completely and kindly given to your heart is the only way to be in control.
The essence and truth, in fact, from another aspect, any encounter, feeling, impulse and desire in life, as long as it exists, it must admit this, we can understand that those forces from the outside cannot change us life.
is to make our lives more complete and happier.
Therefore, when we discover that the existence of these forces has a positive impact on us, what we should do is to treat them with a normal attitude. And correctly face these forces that our hearts may not want to admit, so that we can resolve their impact.Try to turn them into our friends, and we will no longer be controlled by them, because these forces have been defused by us and interact with us as equals.
When we absorb these energies from the outside world, through self-guidance, we will gain a stronger inner self and thus become more complete. Such a changed state of life will come.
We will feel freed from the troubles of the past, and therefore feel the value of peace and joy.
For example, in the previous hypothetical case, we could not control ourselves from looking at the message in the lower right corner. We were simply afraid and wanted to suppress this power from the outside world.
But our suppression makes this force stronger.
and may well end up controlling us.
We may think, forget it, let’s talk to friends first.
Then we don't write reports anymore. What is the correct solution?
First treat this kind of power from the outside as your inner friend, and ask him what he wants. Should he really control us? the answer is negative. When we ask this friend, he will tell us that we need to communicate and chat with friends to get relaxation and comfort.
frees us from boring reports and serious customers.
So that we can look at this force calmly and try to tell him that we really need this.
But what we need now is to concentrate on making reports and facing customers. After these are over, we will have a good rest and share this happiness with QQ friends.
When we told him this in our hearts, interesting things happened.
We suddenly found that this friend stopped attacking and controlling us, and no longer opposed us like that.
Now we are completely under our own control and have no self-control, without that kind of crazy inspirational performance.
We don’t need to stand in front of the mirror and shout loudly, I am the best, I can control myself, I will definitely be able to achieve self-control. There is no need for this.
Self-control is a kind of facing oneself, and tolerance of internal and external is the power of tolerance and inclusiveness.
The most important thing to achieve self-control is to try to prevent yourself from being controlled by any negative forces.
Recognizing this, we will embark on the road to improving self-control.
