He looks very ugly, from body to face, from mouth to eyes, in short - he is ugly. I have been in the army for almost eight years. During this period, welcoming the new and sending the old, and the soldiers in the company changed one after another. There were quite a few beautiful young men, and their feelings for them were not too deep. Then, after they were demobilized, after a year or two, the impression in their minds gradually faded, so that when they occasionally mentioned someone, they had to recall them carefully before they could remember what he looked like.
However, this ugly weapon has always occupied a position in my memory system. Over the past few years, as I grow older and have a deeper understanding of life and society, his image has become increasingly distinctive and taller in my mind. The past of spending years with him has always appeared in front of me. I feel deeply guilty about him. This guilt urges me to reform myself and improve myself, reminding me not to be immersed in shallow and vulgar boring interests.
In the winter of 1976, several new Shandong soldiers came to the platoon, and ugly soldiers were one of them. Shandong soldiers seem to be big and thick in people's minds, honest and simple. Actually, it would be better to take the few recruits assigned to my platoon. Except for the ugly soldiers - his name is Wang Sanshe -, they all have small figures, white and clean faces, and they are all very energetic. I fell in love with them as soon as I saw them. Only Wang Sanshe is so ugly that he is standing with others. It is like a crooked elm tree growing in the forest, and a dry scar potato rolling out of the pile of white eggs.
I had just picked up the platoon leader at that time. I was successful and full of energy. When I walked, my chest was tall and I was as arrogant as a little rooster who had just tied her hair. My biggest characteristic is my competitiveness (actually vanity). Not only do I want to suppress my brothers in terms of military technology, but also in terms of internal health, I also want the soldiers to be like me in terms of demeanor (I am a famous "beautiful man" in the entire regiment). But it’s a bad thing to tell me about an ugly monster. As soon as I met, I felt an instinctive disgust towards him, and I cursed the soldiers in my heart and was blinded. How many tall young men didn't bring them, but instead attracted such ugly guys to show their eyes to those who were in the army.
For the sake of the ugly soldier, I half-jokingly looked for the company commander Mushroom, wanting the company to transfer the ugly soldier away. Unexpectedly, the company commander glared at the sight and said, "What are you doing? You want to choose an actor? I don't care whether he is beautiful or ugly, then he will be a good soldier! What's the use of being beautiful? Can you be rice or as an grenade ?"
After eating a door bolt from our second pole company commander, I had to give up. However, the disgust of ugly soldiers pestered me like malaria . Sometimes, I also realize that this emotion is wrong, but I can’t change it. well! Terrible impression.
The ugly soldier just lacks self-knowledge. If you look ugly, just be honest and show less attention. He is not right. He is enthusiastic about everything and makes people bored. He likes to make suggestions, either asking questions or asking questions, but he is not very clear about his words. He often pronounces the word "Guo" in his name, as "dog", so I became the platoon leader of the "dog". All of these made me feel disgusted with him day by day.
Soon, the Spring Festival has arrived. The provincial condolence group mobilized a large number of troops to perform condolences. At that time, we were also paying attention to the grand reception of banquets and the civil servants in the regiment were too busy at all, so the Political Department asked us to send ten tolerances to be temporary waiters. The company assigned the tasks to us and asked me to lead the team. This is a matter of right. Frankly speaking, I was a guy with many problems at that time, and there were many curved things in my belly. I'm going to be a waiter, and eating candy, smoking and eating apples is a little bit. If you have good luck, you might be able to get a girlfriend who is an actor!
I immediately selected nine soldiers and ordered them to change into new military uniforms and dress up beautifully, so that the girls in the condolence group could see the demeanor of the young men in the army. Just as I was making "pre-war mobilization" with a slash, the ugly soldier came back.As soon as he entered the door, he shouted, "The platoon leader of the dog, do you want to go on a toll?" His shouting ruined my interest, and he said angrily, "What dog, platoon leader, cat, what are you calling!" His voice immediately lowered eight degrees, "Platform leader, do you want to go on a toll? I'm also one." I waved impatiently, "Go, go, you can rest aside." "It's not a bad thing to go on a toll, why do you let rest aside?" The ugly soldier muttered unhappily. I asked, "Didn't you go to the kitchen squad to help the kitchen?" "The work is over, and the chief asked me to come back to rest." "Then you should take a break, play if you want to play, and sleep if you don't want to play. How about it?" Unexpectedly, he became furious when he heard it and said, "'Dog' platoon leader, don't striking off your enthusiasm! Let people sleep in broad daylight, I won't do it!" My interest was destroyed by him, and I was a little unhappy, so I teased him casually and said, "Why are you gurgling? You have to get a mouthful of anything. What are you doing? Let the condolence team see your beautiful face?" These words caused the soldiers on the side to laugh.
Xiao Douzi, who joined the army with the ugly soldier, also continued my words: "Old Ka - they called the ugly soldier Quasimodo - you are called Zhu Bajie looking in the mirror - you are looking at it ugly. You are a team of handsome men, and when you pull it out, the actors will be filled with smoke. You, go ring the bell!"
The soldiers laughed again. At this time, the ugly soldier seemed to have been slapped twice, and his already black face turned blue and purple. His head was drooping, and he pulled his hat down, covering half of his face, and slowly exited the door. I realized that what I said just now was a bit too much, and I couldn't help but feel a little regretful.
After fighting, the ugly soldier seemed to have changed his body, keeping his head silent all day long, and he walked around when he saw me. I thought to myself: This Xiong soldier is quite angry. Xiao Douzi and the others were happy with the ugly soldiers every day. When they had a little free time, they pulled the ugly soldiers and asked, "Hey, Lao Ka, didn't Esmilada come to find you?" The ugly soldiers were neither angry nor scolded, but just rolled their eyes to the sky, and didn't even turn their eyes - later I thought, he used Mr. Lu Xun's tactics - but Xiao Douzi's team of famous high school students could not understand his meaning, and even regarded the ugly soldiers' expression of extreme contempt as a brilliant victory.
The ugly soldier seemed to have a prejudice against me, and for a long time, he did not say a word to me. At the party meeting, I asked him why, and he said bluntly: "I look down on you!" This greatly damaged my face. This made me even more disgusted with him. This kid is really a bit evil, and he actually looked down on me!
For a while, the soldiers in the platoon nailed the "neck ring" made of white silk thread on their collars, and the red collar seal made them look strange. However, the company said that this was an unhealthy trend and asked each platoon to stop it. I didn't agree with it. I just said a few words in a platoon when the platoon was named. The soldiers didn't care, and they didn't care. The white neck rings were worn.
One day at noon, the whole row was eating around a few tables. Xiao Douzi and the others squeezed their noses and smiled at the ugly soldier. I couldn't help but glance at the ugly soldier. God, I really didn't expect that this old man actually put on his neck ring! What kind of neck ring is this! It's dark and wrinkled. It's so cowardly that I'm so cowardly. I curled my lips and turned my face. When Xiaodouzi saw my face, she thought that the opportunity to be happy had come again. He brought his job to the monkey.
"Hey, Comrade Lao Ka," Xiao Douzi pointed at the neck ring with chopsticks and said, "This is what Miss Acemilada knitted for you, right?"
Several people sprayed rice grains out of their nostrils.
The ugly soldier seemed to be bleeding from his eyes. He steadily pressed a bowl of tofu vermicelli on Xiao Douzi's neck, and Xiao Douzi started to scream.
I threw my job and got offended at the ugly soldier.
"Wang Sanshe!"
He glanced at me and didn't say anything.
"Are you planning to rebel?"
He looked at me again and still didn't say anything.
"Tear off the neck ring!"
He glared at me, slowly unbuttoned the collar, muttering something in his mouth.
"You don't find a mirror to look at that look, it's so pretty!" I was still confused and added the previous sentence, "If you dress up a potato, you will be a potato!"
He carefully removed the neck ring and put it in his pocket. At this time, Xiao Douzi walked over from the faucet with a humming sound, her neck like a cooked shrimp.
Xiao Douzi rolled her sleeves and jumped to the ugly soldier. I was about to take urgent measures to stop the upcoming war, but the ugly soldier spoke: "The neck ring was woven by my mother. My mother is fifty-eight, and her eyes are not good..." He started crying with tears, covering his face with his hands, tears flowing down his fingers, and his shoulders kept trembling. Most people turned their blame-like eyes to Xiaodouzi. Xiaodouzi's arms were hanging down weakly, stretching out his big red neck, as if he was being tried.
This matter was soon found out by the company. The instructor criticized my unfair attitude towards the ugly soldier. Although I felt a little guilty, I refused to admit defeat and gave the ugly soldier many faults one by one.
Xiao Douzi suffered the loss of the ugly soldier and kept looking for opportunities to take revenge. He knew that those who used force were not the opponent of the ugly soldier, and he would be punished if he fought. So he tried every means to find opportunities, hoping that the ugly soldier would make another fool of himself.
On May Day evening, the whole company gathered to hold an entertainment party at the club. The old-fashioned programs, such as the solo of the company commander like a cow, and the instructor's nonsense quickbook , caused bursts of laughter. As the party was approaching, Xiao Douzi shook his eyes at a few fellow villagers who were close to him, suddenly stood up and shouted loudly: "Comrades, I suggest that our famous singer, Comrade Wang Sanshe, sing a song for everyone, okay?" "Okay!" Then there was an exaggerated applause. I first slapped my palms a few times, but immediately felt a feeling of awkwardness and irritation spreading in my heart. The ugly soldier clamped his head between his legs and did not move at all. Xiao Douzi grimaced at the people around him, and then reached out to poke the ugly soldier: "Hey, singer, don't be shy. If you don't sing, how about performing "Notre Dame de Paris"?"
The audience was in an uproar. I just grinned and wanted to smile. I looked up suddenly, and happened to meet the company commander's angry gaze and the instructor's serious gaze. I hurriedly stood up and shouted, "Xiao Douzi, stop making trouble!" Xiao Douzi was still in her mood and sat down in awe. The instructor stood up and was about to say something, but before he could speak, the ugly soldier stood up like a wooden stake. He walked to the stage with great strides, raised his sleeves to wipe two tears, and said firmly: "Thank you for your kindness, I'll perform!"
I was shocked and didn't close my mouth for a long time. This brother is such a monster, he is going to perform!
However, he was indeed performing, really performing. It seemed that he was in pain, his face was twitching.
He said: "When Cassidon was tortured by whipping and was thirsty, the beautiful Gypsy girl Esmilada held a can of water in both hands and sent it to his lips. After drinking the water, the ugly monster kept saying 'Beautiful! Beautiful!'" The ugly soldier imitated the action and tone of the movie and said three words "Beautiful" in succession, "Is what Quesimodo thought about at this time just Esmilada's beautiful appearance?" After pausing, he continued: "When Esmilada is about to be pulled onto the gallows, the ugly monster Esmilada rescued Esmilada without escaping life and death. He ran and shouted 'Assid! Take shelter!'" The ugly soldier imitated the action and voice in the movie again. He shouted "Salary", "Did the impression Quasimodo left to people at this time is just an ugly appearance?"
The ugly soldier finished speaking and finished the performance, standing hunched. The room was silent and silent, and I heard the Yangye outside the window sing in the spring breeze. No one laughed, no one applauded, and everyone stared at him in a daze, as if they were staring at a sculpture covered with real faces by green embroidered red mud. My face was hot, and I secretly looked at Xiao Douzi, and I saw him salivating his face, keeping folding the corners of his clothes...
After that party, the ugly soldier made a long report to the company and asked to feed the pigs in the production team. After repeated research, the company agreed to his request.
Three years have passed in a flash, and I have been promoted to deputy company commander, in charge of logistics, and have often dealt with ugly soldiers. When it comes to his work, it's really nothing to say, but it's just unpleasant. He has become very introverted. His words in a year are not as much as Xiao Douzi says in a day, and he is not well-dressed and hasn't been on the street once in three years. I talked to him once and asked him to pay attention to the military appearance. He said lukewarmly: "Deputy Company Commander, I don't have any contact with the outside world. I will definitely not be able to lose face of the PLA. Besides, potatoes are also a potato, why bother?" He pushed me with a crooked roast chicken, and I simply ignored him.
In the early 1979, the Sino-Vietnam border relations were so tense that they were self-heating, and it was almost out of reach. There has been a private news in the company that a group of veteran soldiers were going to go to the front line. The training boom has been unprecedentedly high. After the lights were turned off at night, someone was pulling horizontal bar and holding bricks. The ugly soldier did not react at all and fed his pigs in a dull manner all day long.
Finally, the news spreading became reality. Just after the mobilization meeting, the company boiled like a pot of boiling water. The letter of determination, the letter of request was piled up on the company table in piles. Some people even bit their fingers and wrote a bloody book.
The quota of the number of places drawn this time is large, and almost all veterans from 1976 and 1977 have to go. The veterans also knew it and began to pack their luggage in a busy manner. In the afternoon, I went around the pigpen and wanted to see what the only ugly soldier in the company who did not write a letter of war was doing. To be honest, I am very annoyed. Whether you don’t want to join the Communist Youth League or the Party, but when the invaders burned, killed and plundered at my border, people were ready to wait for the opportunity to revenge. When this opportunity finally came, you were still indifferent. This cold attitude is really worth considering.
The ugly soldier is delivering an old sow, covered in dirty things and sweaty face. Seeing him like this, I forgave him.
In the evening, branch committee formally discussed the list of personnel going to the south. The meeting was halfway through, and the ugly soldier broke in. He was wet all over. On a cold day, he was wearing a pair of rubber shoes covered with feces and mud, and he didn't wear a hat. An collar was about to fall off, and only a thread was left.
He spoke: "Dear Chiefs of the Company, should you choose an actor or a son-in-law this time?"
Everyone looked at each other, wondering what he was selling.
He said again: "Can the bullets released by an ugly monster like me kill the enemy? Will the grenades thrown explode?"
The instructor asked with a smile: "Comrade Wang Sanshe, where do you want to go to the front line?"
The ugly soldier said with a tidal eyes: "Why don't you? Although I am not good-looking, I am also a human being, a Chinese youth, a soldier of the Chinese People's Liberation Army!"
He turned back with a standard standard and walked in unison.
The ugly soldier was approved to go to the front line. When I told him the news, he grabbed my hand and shook it hard, laughing and crying. My eyes also felt hot.
At the farewell party, the ugly soldier walked to the front of the stage openly. He seemed to have changed his personality, wearing a brand new military uniform, had a new haircut, and shaved his beard. What shocked me the most was that his collar was decorated with his now sixty-year-old mother who had bad eyes and had a bad eye. The unsophisticated "neck ring" that caused a storm back then woven! I seemed to realize that this action of the ugly soldier had a deep meaning. Is this neck ring a pursuit of beauty? Is it a memory of a loving mother? No matter what, anyway, if someone makes the joke that Xiao Douzi once again, I would have put a bowl of tofu vermicelli on his head.
He said: "Comrades, you welcomed me to sing three years ago. For some reason, I didn't sing. I'm sorry, everyone, I'll make up for it today."
Amid the thunderous applause, he let go of his throat and singed:
In spring, bitter vegetable flowers bloomed all over the mountains,
The ugly father and mother gave birth to an ugly baby.
Big boys and girls ignore him,
Ugly dolls herding cattle and sheep alone on the cliff.
In summer, honeysuckle blooms all over the mountains,
The Eighth Route Army drove into the mountain village.
The ugly doll became a children's group,
Standing guard and burying landmines.
The chrysanthemums in the mountains bloom yellow in autumn,
The ugly baby made great contributions to catching traitors.
Battleman Wang District Commander Liu praised him in unison,
Boys and females surrounded him.
In winter, snowflakes fluttered white,
Ugly doll became the Eighth Route Army.
From then no one thought he was ugly,
Oh, my mother is so sad.
Like a warm spring breeze with a rich fragrance of earth blows into the club. The wild flowers blooming all over the mountains, snow-white sheep, golden cattle, blue sky, green mountains, green water..., a series of friendly, simple, poetic, passionate paintings flash in people's minds with the ugly soldiers, like resentment, and crying. I was wondering: How the beauty of the soul makes up for the flaws of the body, the heroic feat, the difficulty of others, the character of being kind to others, and the character of humility and honest has inspired and influenced generations of people throughout the ages.
After the ugly soldier finished singing, he stood there, looking at the comrades shyly, smiling. Everyone seemed to be thinking about something, as if they were immersed in a pure and innocent feeling.
Xiao Douzi left the seat and rushed forward, hugging the ugly soldier tightly, tears and snot flowed out, and he shouted loudly: "Old Ka, Lao Ka, you old Ka..."
Suddenly, the room burst into applause like spring thunder. Everyone stood up in one go, surrounding the ugly soldier in Gaixin...
After the farewell party, I was in a lot of thoughts, lying on the bed toss and turns and couldn't sleep, and my shame became heavier and heavier. I put on my clothes and got out of bed, and walked towards the house where the ugly soldier lived - he slept alone in a small house next to the pigpen. Time is the eighth and ninth day of the ancient calendar. Half a month shines brightly on the camp, like a layer of silver sprinkling. The light was still on in the cottage. I pushed open the door and walked in. The ugly soldier was feeding a piglet with corn. When he saw me in, he stood up in a hurry and said repeatedly, "Deputy Company Commander, sit down quickly." As he said, he carried the feeded piglet into a hay basket: "This piglet will not eat milk when born, and will starve to death in the ring. I will take it back to the list. Maintenance. Please send someone to take over the shift quickly. I have a lot of things to explain..."
"What a good comrade!" I thought, "Why did I treat him so unfairly in the past?" I finally said, "Xiao Wang, we are also old comrades-in-arms. I have insulted your personality and hurt your self-esteem over the years. I apologize to you." He waved his hand in panic and said, "Deputy Company Commander, seeing where you talked about it, I hate me for being too furry and smeared the company."
I said, "Xiao Wang, we are about to break up , Just say whatever you have, don't hold it in your stomach."
He pondered for a while: "But that's right, Deputy Company Commander, this time I'm determined to die. If I don't show off, I won't come back alive. Therefore, it's okay to say something to you, because you will still lead troops in the future, and there will definitely be ugly soldiers assigned to the company. For these future ugly comrades, I will tell you the inner thoughts of an ugly soldier.
"Deputy Company Commander, don't I want to look as beautiful as a movie actor? However, people are not the clay in the hands of clay sculptors, and they can make whatever they want. Everything in the world is different, and thousands of people are all different. The ugly, beautiful, neither beautiful nor ugly are all part of society. Wang Xingang , Zhao Dan is an individual, and I am also an individual...
"Whenever I am ridiculed by my comrades, whenever I am discriminated against by my leaders, my heart hurts like a needle.
"I often think that during the Three Kingdoms, Zhuge Liang can still not bother with Pang Tong lift his nose and lips, and persuade Liu Bei to entrust his important tasks; Spring and Autumn Qi Linggong can also use the short and vulgar Yan Ying as the prime minister.Of course, I don’t have outstanding talents, but I was born in such a great era, an era where I truly regard people as human beings! Shouldn’t our company commander and platoon leader have a broader mind and more humane feelings than the ancients thousands of years ago?
"I dare not expect people to like me, nor do I dare not expect people not to hate me. Everyone has a love for beauty; everyone has a heart that hates ugliness. No one can reverse this rule, just like my ugliness cannot be changed. But does beauty just refer to a good-looking face? Xiao Douzi and the others called me Quasimodo. At first I thought I was insulted, but gradually I became proud. I would rather be an ugly bell ringer forever than be the handsome palace guard captain for a minute...
"When I think of this, I feel like I saw the bright stars in the dark night sky. I should go my own way firmly. Many people who are still remembered by people, are able to keep their names throughout the ages, and most of them are not because of their beauty; their achievements and their morality that make their names shine forever...
"I asked to feed pigs for personal thoughts. I was optimistic about this hut, which can provide me with a good learning environment. Over the past two years, I have read a lot of books - someone else borrowed them on my behalf, and started writing a novel.
He took out a thick stack of manuscripts from under the quilt: "This is written by me based on the deeds of an anti-Japanese hero in our hometown. He was ugly... He looked pockish on his face... Later he died... His shadow was in the song I sang..."
He handed me the manuscript, and I looked carefully. From the neat lines, there seemed to be a melodious song. A silly child walked along the field path with red sorghum...
"Deputy Company Commander, I'm going to go to the front line. Please let this manuscript be handled..."
I held his hand tightly and refused to let go for a long time: " Good brother, thank you, thank you for giving me a life lesson..."
A few months later, the fire of justice ignited in southern Xinjiang, and exciting news kept coming from the radio and newspapers. I really hoped to hear or see the name of my ugly brother, but his name never appeared.
After living for some more days, the comrades who went up with the ugly soldier came to letters, but the ugly soldier and Xiaodouzi had no news. I wrote a few letters to these comrades who came to ask them about the ugly soldier and Xiaodouzi. He We quickly replied to the letter, saying that they separated as soon as they arrived at the border, and Xiao Douzi was separated from the ugly soldier. They also wanted to know the news about Xiao Douzi and the ugly soldier, and were inquiring from each other.
The ugly soldier's novel was submitted to a publishing house, and the editorial department attached great importance to it. The letter invited the author to talk about it. This was undoubtedly a great news, but the ugly soldier was like a rock sinking into the sea, which was really anxious.
Finally, Xiao Douzi wrote a letter. He was injured in both eyes and was hospitalized. He had just removed the gauze. His left eye was blind, and his right eye was only a few minutes old. He used walnuts as big as a walnut. The handwriting reported to me the news of the ugly soldier's death.
The ugly soldier died, and actually responded to his oath before leaving. My tears wet the letter paper, and my heart was spasming. My ugly brother, my good brother, how much I want to say something to you, how much I want to sing that ugly child song with you, but this has become an eternal regret.
Xiao Douzi wrote:...I searched side by side with Sanshe, but unfortunately triggered the mine, and my eyes turned dark and fell down. I don't know how long I felt that I was carrying someone on my back and crawled forward slowly. I asked loudly: "Who are you? "He said in a muffled voice: "Old Ka. "I struggled to get down, but he refused. Later, he crawled slowly and finally stopped. I realized that it was not good, so I hurriedly called him and touched him. I touched his intestines. I shouted desperately: "Old Ka! Old card! "He finally spoke, and stretched out a hand for me to hold it: "Little Douzi... don't hold a grudge against me... that bowl of tofu... stewed vermicelli..."
His hand slid down weakly...
