Text: Xiaoning Picture: From the Internet
Watched the TV series " Bottom Line " these days. There was a case in which the old father could not bear the torture of illness and had suicide thoughts, almost caused big trouble for his son. After reading this story, I remembered something that happened at my colleague's house many years ago.
Colleague Lao Zhou is an honest person, honest and a little dull, always taciturn, and always smiles when speaking. Many colleagues commented on him: "That man, a real honest man, only knows how to do things and never compete with the world!"
He is an accountant in the unit and has a good plan. His abacus was learned from his old father. Before liberation, the old man worked as a clerk in a shop in the city. My colleague graduated from elementary school and studied very well. He was admitted to the county middle school. Unfortunately, he caught up with the era of closure of classes and his studies were forced to be interrupted.
At that time, the county's commercial department built agency stores in some larger villages. Because my colleague was a little bit educated, he learned abacus from his father, and also understood some things on the accounts, so he was selected by the brigade to be a salesperson.
His loyalty and honesty soon won the favor of the leaders of the Chengguan Supply and Marketing Cooperative of the supervisory unit. A few years later, he was selected by the supply and marketing cooperative to work as a salesperson in the city. After having the opportunity to become a regular employee, he not only became a regular employee, but was also arranged to become an accountant in the Finance Department.
Lao Zhou got married very early. He has two older sisters who are older and quite a lot of him. He is the only male. He is regarded as a treasure by his parents. Especially the old-fashioned mother, he is even more afraid of falling and melting.
The two sisters are beautiful and both married soldiers. Later, they both followed the army to other places. My mother was in poor health. In order for Lao Zhou to get better care, when he was twenty years old, the old man arranged to marry a wife for him.
Old Zhou’s wife has a tough personality and is capable. After marrying her, she became the main force at home and outside. After Lao Zhou started working, he worked diligently outside, but he was a hand-off manager at home. He grew up being spoiled by his parents since childhood, and he became a person who could not see housework in his eyes.
My wife never disliked his unsatisfactory housework, and looked up to him because he was a paid public servant and took care of him everywhere.
Workers and farmers were very envied in the rural areas of that era, but the only drawback of the old Zhou family was that his wife gave birth to three daughters for him one after another.
Lao Zhou didn't say anything, but the old mother was a little unwilling to accept it. prefer boys over girls is an idea engraved in the old man's bones. At the beginning, he was more concerned about his son than his daughter.
Now, the wife failed to give birth to a grandson for herself, and the old man always felt that he could not raise his head in front of his neighbors.
But the son is a public family and if he violates the policy and is expelled from his birth, he will be fired and returned home. If the old man can't breathe this, his daughter-in-law becomes a target, and he always looks for his daughter-in-law's faults and picks on the bones in the eggs.
Although the daughter-in-law is not educated, her eyebrows and eyes can still be seen. My mother-in-law's eyes rolled and black face looked too much, and she felt very wronged. I felt that all the work on and off the kang was taken care of, and my mother-in-law always took off her anger, which was too bullying.
Old Zhou is far away from home and does not go home often. He occasionally goes home, listens to his mother complaining on his left ear and listens to his wife complaining on his right ear. He was not good at speaking and did not know how to persuade and appease him. He could only follow his father's appearance, turn a deaf ear and neither side responded. His attitude made the conflicts between his mother and his wife accumulate more and more. Gradually, they went from the initial secret competition to the face-to-face quarrel.
Once, two people were arguing, and Old Zhou's wife suddenly fainted and foamed at her mouth, which scared the whole family.
From then on, the mother-in-law did not dare to fight with her daughter-in-law anymore, but often complained to the neighbors. Now, Lao Zhou’s wife’s bad reputation spread. Everyone in the village knew that she was willful and unreasonable, and she quarreled with her mother-in-law and pretended to be dead and scared people.
Until the old woman died of illness in her seventies, the family finally became stable and purified.
Lao Zhou’s three children are all very successful and they are like Lao Zhou in their studies.Two technical secondary school students, one from a university, two children who graduated from a technical secondary school stayed in the county to work and get married, while the children who graduated from a university stayed in other places. They all walked out of the countryside through reading.
The children don’t come home often, and only the old father and the old Zhou wife are left at home. My old father is a bit educated and kind and reasonable.
For so many years, no matter how uncoherent the old lady and her daughter-in-law are, he never gets involved. Sometimes he really can't stand it anymore and only criticizes his wife, never say that his daughter-in-law is not. Therefore, the daughter-in-law has always respected her father-in-law very much.
Although the family has a small population, the land contracts to households and there are a lot of farm work in the fields. Old Zhou’s wife no longer needs to take care of the daily life of everyone, but she has to go to the fields to work every day, and she is busy planting in spring and harvesting in autumn. Old Zhou’s wife lives carefully, so she naturally pays attention to the harvest in the fields.
Although Old Zhou’s father is not young, like many rural elderly people, as long as he has some strength, he will be idle and help his daughter-in-law do things within his ability.
Seeing that life is getting better and better day by day, but the old man has a health problem. People often say, "A person is over 70 years old, but he doesn't look for a person who is sick." The old man fell when he was 77 years old. He didn't feel anything at that time, but then he felt that his body was getting weaker day by day. In addition to his uneven legs and feet, the biggest problem was constipation.
Lao Zhou is a filial son. Since his father was not in good health, he took the elderly everywhere to see a doctor, took medicine and supplements as prescribed by the doctor, and used a lot of folk remedies. All the methods you can think of have been used, and they have almost no effect. From then on, Lao Zhou did not dare to live in the workplace. He rode his bike around for more than 50 miles every day, and there was no sun at both ends every day.
Lao Zhou's two sisters have always been very concerned about their parents' home. They not only miss the elderly, but also feel sorry for their younger brother. Especially my second sister, she has better conditions and gives her parents money and goods to take care of her. Her sister-in-law is very grateful to her two aunts, and her neighbors also envy her for having such a good relative. After my father was unwell, the two sisters also tried their best to do their best to his father.
Although the son and daughter are very good, they have little effect on the health of the elderly. My son comes back very late every day and leaves very early, and my daughters come back to see him sometimes. The only thing the elderly face every day is the busy daughter-in-law.
The old man who came from the old era had a feudal mindset. He was always embarrassed to tell his daughter-in-law about his little problem, so he couldn't get up and always endure it. The more he tolerated the bigger the problem.
Most of the toilets in rural areas are simple, with only squatting holes. The elderly have been squatting for too long, and their legs are numb and sore, and they are dizzy and dizzy when they get up. The second daughter bought a toilet chair for her. The old man was not used to it and insisted on squatting on the pit. He almost fell down several times because he went to the toilet.
The village half farmer and half doctor suggests that the elderly should always be given the excrement and use it for the elderly when they feel comfortable. But such things are beyond control. Every time the elderly want to go to the toilet, they may not necessarily catch up with their son at home.
Seeing the old man feel uncomfortable and restless again and again. Old Zhou’s wife said to her father-in-law: “The old saying goes, don’t avoid medical treatment when you are sick. Our father and father have been eating in the same pot for longer than my sister and you. I am not a doctor, but you are not a doctor, right? Your son is not at home, so I will help you with the right amount. Don’t be embarrassed!”
With the help of his daughter-in-law, the old man really felt much more relaxed afterwards. But the old man felt uncomfortable. No matter what, the old man always felt that it was not that good for his daughter-in-law to serve him like this. But my son is not yet at retirement age and is very busy with work. He can't always delay his work because of himself.
The elderly who have been conscious of their whole life, feel that living has become a burden to children. In self-blame and depression, the elderly have become self-destructive.
One day, when Lao Zhou heard something was moving in his father's room, he quickly got up and took a look. When he saw this, he was scared and sweated. The old father tied a rope to the door frame and was about to put his neck in. It was the bench he had just touched, and he alarmed his son who had been afraid to sleep.
Lao Zhou helped the old man to the kang while complaining to the old man, saying that you did this, how can I raise my head in the future? What do people in the village think of me? Can my second uncle spare me? The daughter-in-law also cried and persuaded her, saying, "Dad! You always do this, it's like hitting me! I'm telling your son, telling the clan and the villagers, is my daughter-in-law bad for you?"
The old man waved his hand and cried out in depression. He shivered with his hands and took out a cardboard from his pocket.
Lao Zhou saw that there were many words written on the cardboard. After reading it carefully, it reads on it: God will not bless me, which will make me suffer such a disease that I will not live. I will feel uncomfortable and trouble the children. I really can't stand the trouble of this disease, it's not that the children are unfilial. I hope my second brother and his neighbors will not cause trouble for the children.
Old Zhou silently recited the words written by his father and cried into tears. When the old man was comforted, it was already dawn.
Lao Zhou didn't dare to go to work that day. That afternoon, the second sister called the brigade headquarters. When Lao Zhou answered the phone, the second sister asked in a crying voice: "Is our father okay?"
It turned out that the second sister and the eldest sister in the same city received a letter from the old father at the same time. The content of the letter is the same as that of Cardboard. I told my daughter that he could not stand the pain and was torture and had a desperate situation. Don’t blame your brother and sister-in-law for being very filial, but I really can’t stand it.
The second sister received the letter and guessed that something had happened to her father. She arranged to buy a ticket and made a call. My younger brother didn't go to work, so my second sister became even more anxious and scared.
The two daughters and granddaughters rushed back to accompany the old man for a while. Seeing that the elderly are in a calm state, their condition has also been relieved due to the care of their daughters. Everyone has their own small families to take care of. The old man urges the children to go back to their own houses, saying that they will no longer think about things and do stupid things.
The children were all gone. One morning a few days later, Old Zhou’s wife went to the field to work. When it was time to cook, she came back. There were no old people inside and outside the house. I thought the old man had gone out to visit him, but I still thought to myself. The old man never makes people angry all his life and rarely goes to other people's houses to sit idle. He even has no trouble with his own brother's house.
After the meal was cooked, the old man was still not seen. Old Zhou’s wife had a bad premonition. She searched everywhere again, and finally saw the old man lying on the ground in a dark little corner in the warehouse.
A thin rope end is tied to a worn wooden box and put one end around your neck. It should be because the person has weakened to a certain extent, so the old man lie down on the ground and hangs himself.
It turns out that Lao Zhou was not surprised. At the funeral of his father, the couple were criticized and attacked by everyone. The first to blame him was his second uncle. Then, relatives, aunts and other relatives rose up and attacked them. The more I said the words became more and more unreasonable. Some people directly said that the old man died of abuse by his daughter-in-law, and said that this wife is famous for being unreasonable.
The old Zhou couple couldn't say a word at this time and didn't dare to say it. The leaders sent by the unit to attend the funeral repeatedly proved that Lao Zhou was filial to his father, and those people did not listen at all. It was the old man's granddaughter who took out the cardboard written by the old man last time and let the second grandfather see it, which stabilized everyone's emotions a little.
At night, the old man's two daughters rushed home, and they took out the letters written by the old man the previous time and read them to everyone. He also asked the second uncle that the old man said in his letter that he wrote the same letter to you, but did you not see the letter? Or don't believe my father?
It was not until this time that Old Uncle Zhou Er told the truth, saying that the eldest brother had indeed given him the same letter, saying that everything was his fault and never cause trouble for the children. He couldn't suppress the fire today because he felt that it was too unfair to leave like this.
The funeral was handled smoothly in the end, but the whole thing hit Lao Zhou a big blow. For more than a year, he was more dull and dull than before. When an old colleague asked about the incident, he would cry secretly.People were worried that he would fall ill. Fortunately, the daughters were worried about their parents and took their mother to the city. The two daughters took turns to take care of them. The couple finally slowly got out of this psychological shadow.
A few days ago saw a news report saying that Shenzhen’s legislation would “respect the will to not rescue”, allowing patients and the elderly to voluntarily choose not to undergo rescue treatment and to calmly go through the last time.
As an old man in his seventies, the thing he cares most about in his late years is how to avoid being tortured by diseases in his late years. But such things can only be left to fate and what you say is not the least.
Over the years, I have noticed that some NPC deputies have been making proposals about "euthanasia". If such legislation could be really available, how many people would be able to escape the pain of being tortured by illness in their last days!
In the matter of Lao Zhou’s father, I think Lao Zhou is right, but the old man’s courage to face death is worthy of admiration. But without the permission of the law, many elderly people do not dare to take such a path even if they cannot bear the torture of illness. What they are afraid of is to cause unnecessary trouble for their children.
