A letter from a reader said: More than a year ago, my mother-in-law died of illness, and my husband suggested that my father-in-law live in my house. Because my father-in-law is an elder who doesn’t talk much and loves to be clean, I have no objection at all to my father-in-law’s

A letter from a reader said:

More than a year ago, my mother-in-law died of illness, and my husband suggested that my father-in-law live in my house. Because my father-in-law is an elder who doesn’t talk much and loves to be clean, I have no objection at all to my father-in-law’s arrival. Because my father-in-law has a retirement salary, he can occasionally help my husband and I cook and take our children to and from school. Therefore, when the seasons change, in order to thank my father-in-law for his hard work, I will buy him new clothes.

A few days ago, I went to my neighbor's house and heard something like this: My father-in-law often brought different women to our house while my husband and I were at work and the children were in school. In fact, I can understand the loneliness of widowed elders, and my husband and I have said to my father-in-law more than once: If we meet a suitable partner, we can try to get along, but we cannot accept the fact that my father-in-law frequently changes partners.

You must know that my husband and I both work in an administrative unit, and we are both respectable people in the unit. Once there are problems with my father-in-law’s life style, it will definitely have some impact on my husband and me. What’s more, in our community, Most of the people staying here are my husband's and my colleagues. Therefore, I feel that my father-in-law’s behavior is particularly inappropriate.

After I came out of my neighbor's house, I ordered my father-in-law to be kicked out. In this matter, my father-in-law probably guessed the real reason why I "persuaded him to quit". Without any rebuttal, he packed up his things and left my house.

After my husband came back in the evening, I told him about this incident. He sighed and did not blame me.

would like to ask: My father-in-law is already very old, why can't he consider the situation of my husband and me and stay clean? Also: Is it possible to find an old companion for my father-in-law to curb his merciless behavior?

Muzi Li Emotional Analysis:

's need for love is regardless of age; there is also no age distinction for flirtatious behavior. Obviously, your father-in-law has been a romantic person in his life, and your mother-in-law has been aggrieved by this for following him. It's just that your mother-in-law chose to keep the marriage together during the quarrel. As a daughter-in-law, since you have brought your father-in-law to live in your home, you will certainly not allow him to cause trouble. Naturally, you cannot tolerate it when your father-in-law frequently brings different women to your home. Under such circumstances, you will Expelling him from your home can only be his own fault. For a person like your father-in-law, let him fend for himself. At least he no longer lives with you. It can be said that he is out of sight and out of mind.

Your husband knows you well and cannot tolerate dirty things in his eyes; your husband also knows your father-in-law well, and he has never behaved in his private life in his life, so when you evict your father-in-law from your home, your husband will naturally You have nothing to blame. Because your husband knows clearly that when he brought your father-in-law to your home, you did not object, and during the more than a year of living together, your husband did not have to be picky about your attitude towards your father-in-law. . In other words: Your father-in-law cannot continue to live with you now, which is all caused by his own hands, because your husband will also have such concerns. If something happens to your father-in-law one day, both you and your husband will feel embarrassed and frustrated.

When the widowed elderly are still in good health, it is not the best choice to live with their children. After all, their work and rest schedules, eating habits, and consumption habits are different. At this time, the elderly often have to look after their children. The consequences of facial expressions and actions: many elderly people feel awkward living with their children. However, the elderly are also very lonely at this time, so finding an old person to accompany them is the best choice. But for someone like your father-in-law, at least you and your husband should not take the initiative to find him an old man to accompany him. This is tantamount to harming the old man. The most intuitive reason is: your father-in-law is a playboy. In this matter, let your father-in-law handle it on his own. There are two situations that may occur during this period: 1) Chatting up a woman with a family and being dealt with by her husband; 2) Meeting a woman who can tolerate your father-in-law, The two people lived together from then on.

Things we need to understand: People who are immoral in their private lives will not restrain themselves as they grow older. As long as they can still tolerate it, they will still persist in their immoral lifestyle. For these people, this happens all their lives, and your father-in-law is one of them. Do you think just scolding from you and your husband can have a good effect? Regarding your father-in-law’s retirement and his re-engagement, my attitude is: He is still capable of taking care of himself, so you and your husband should not worry about his troubles until he becomes inconvenient. Take him to your home. In fact, your father-in-law doesn’t want to live with you now. When your husband brought him to your home, he was just too kind to refuse. This was also the main reason why he didn’t refute when you drove him back to his hometown. The reason is that such a result is something he can only hope for.

However, one should never be too selfish in life. More often than not, one needs to take into account the face of parents and children. Do not tarnish the faces of your loved ones because of some of your unreasonable actions, which will make more people behind your back. Are the days when you are pointing fingers really particularly exciting? For this reason, for some people who are immoral in their private lives, I even think it is a good thing for someone to stand up and deal with them, so that they will understand that if they are too affectionate, they will be punished. In this way, these people will be more restrained and more regulated in their behavior in life. Unfortunately, there is also a strange phenomenon in the relationship field: some women are happy to be provoked by scumbag men, and even actively provoke scumbag men.

In our life, we will always encounter some things that we are unable to solve. In this case, keeping ourselves away from the troubles may be an impossible solution. Especially when you encounter relatives who have committed crimes, it is really a headache when you cannot cut off the relationship with them and they have no awareness of correcting their mistakes. During this period, you can try to ask your husband to scold your father-in-law on the phone. I hope that when he does some inappropriate behavior, he will consider the future of you and your husband. I hope that with your husband's negotiation, you can make your father-in-law correct. His daily behavior can be somewhat restrained. If the situation is more serious, cutting off the relationship with your father-in-law is also a last resort option.

Editor's postscript:

It's not that the elderly have no right to enjoy love. In fact, it is not uncommon among the people to find an old companion. It is just that the uniqueness of love must be guaranteed at all times. Such behavior should be condemned. It is not difficult to find that those who are unconscious are still unconscious in life even as they grow older. In this case, how can you exchange for the respect for the elderly and love for the young by those around you?

Regarding the elderly, there are two other behaviors that young people particularly hate: 1) During the rush hour, they compete with young people to take the bus, so that there are often incidents of giving up or not giving up their seats. What I want to say is , when the elderly go out, it is best to avoid the peak hours when young people commute; 2) The elderly dance square dancing in the community. Young people will never interfere with the physical exercise of the elderly. The key is whether the sound of the speakers can be controlled to a level that does not disturb the public when dancing in the square.

(pictures from the Internet, pictures and texts have nothing to do with it)