Introduction
For many women, after giving birth to a child, taking care of the child is the responsibility of the mother-in-law. After the mother-in-law takes care of the child, she can go out to work. Because she is still young, there is still room for advancement. In the past, , the mother-in-law must have agreed to take care of the grandson, and there will be no complaints, but it is different now. Most of the fifty-year-old mother-in-law are still working, and the salary is not low, even higher than that of the daughter-in-law. If she quits her job and stays at home If you raise a child, you will definitely suffer some losses. Therefore, most mothers-in-law are not willing to quit their jobs to take care of the children at home. They will be criticized for not doing well in raising children. If they resign and stay at home without money, it will really embarrass the mother-in-law. I don’t know what to do, so let’s take a look at the following story.
Aunt Chen is 50 years old
I am 50 years old this year. I have an only son. He got married last year. They had a child the same year they got married. Now my daughter-in-law is about to give birth. It is far from the due date. There are only one or two months left, and the baby will be born at any time. Seeing my daughter-in-law preparing to give birth, I feel very panicked.
A few days ago, my son suddenly called me and said that he had something to discuss with me. I didn’t think much about it. After they got married, we didn’t live with them or live together. When I came back this time, I thought they They missed me, so they came back to see me. I saw that they were coming back, and I was very happy. I also prepared several dishes for my daughter-in-law to eat more. I also told my daughter-in-law that the children's clothes, I bought everything, so she wouldn’t need to buy it then. I thought she would be happy with all the things I prepared for her, but when I looked at my daughter-in-law’s face, she didn’t look very happy and she didn’t say much. I felt something was wrong. .
Then I asked my son what was going on, whether they had a fight or whether it was about the child. My son said that he did not bully his daughter-in-law, just because his mother-in-law was sick and was currently being treated in the hospital, so he said that his daughter-in-law was not in a good mood. Okay, I heard my son say this, and I also found it very difficult. I couldn’t do anything to help. I could only comfort my daughter-in-law that her mother-in-law would be fine, and asked her not to be sad. I also told my son to let him be free. When I was young, I went to take care of my mother-in-law and help out more.
I usually have to go to work and I don’t have time, otherwise I would go over to see my mother-in-law. My son said that my mother-in-law was fine, so don’t worry. I said I would just tell her if it was okay. Then my son hesitated a little, and I could tell that he wanted to talk to me. He said, I asked him to say whatever he had to say, and there was no need to hesitate in front of me. After a minute of this, the son said: "Mom, you see, my mother-in-law is also sick now. When the time comes, my wife will give birth to a baby." Now, there will be no one to take care of her during the confinement period. Why don't you resign and help take care of her during the confinement period at home."
After I heard what my son said, I didn’t know what to say, because we had discussed it before. After my daughter-in-law gave birth to the child, her mother-in-law would take care of her. Moreover, it was my daughter-in-law who proposed this. She also told me, If my biological mother takes care of her, she will be more comfortable and at ease. This will also be conducive to recovery during the confinement period. I think what she said is right, and I agreed. However, now my biological mother is sick and cannot take care of the child. Now, this responsibility has to fall on me, and I don’t know what to do for the moment.
I don’t want to resign, because after resigning, I will have no money to collect, and I don’t want to ask anyone for money. After all, I was married before, and my mother-in-law did a lot for me. My husband and I, Originally, when I gave birth to my son, my mother-in-law agreed to help me take care of the baby. But who knew, after I gave birth, she directly asked me to quit my job and take care of the baby at home. I was not happy at the time, and then my husband said Let me go home to take care of the children, and he will support us. From then on, I have to ask my husband for money for every penny I spend, including milk powder for the children and other living expenses. I have to ask my husband for money everywhere. Give.
At the beginning, my husband was willing to give me money, but after calling me a few times, he became impatient and didn’t want to give me any more. He always said that I was a prodigal and that I didn’t make any money, but I was spending money very quickly. He often scolds me for not considering the price when buying things. Even when buying a piece of clothing, he says why should I buy it so expensive? I can just buy it for ten yuan and wear it. There is no need for people who don’t make money to wear such expensive clothes. , I was really angry at the time. If I hadn’t seen that the child was still young, I would have really wanted to leave or go out to find a job. At least I would have money in my hands, feel more confident, and would not be raped by my husband’s family. People say that they are useless people who can buy whatever they want without looking at other people’s eyes.
finally managed to survive until my son went to high school. I immediately went out to look for a job. Since then, I have never asked them for a penny. I was really fed up with asking for money, so I went to find a job. My nanny job pays 7,000 yuan a month, and I also signed a five-year agreement with them. If I break the contract midway, my money will be deducted. However, now my son asks me to quit my job to take care of my daughter-in-law during confinement. What should I do? .
I couldn’t think of a good solution at the moment, so I could only tell my son that we would wait until my daughter-in-law gave birth. It was still too early to say this, but I was not sure what to do about this matter. Then I went to find those who had taken care of my daughter-in-law before. I asked my colleagues how they dealt with this kind of thing. My colleagues also told me a lot about their experiences. After discussing it with them, I also knew what to do.
I went to tell my son and daughter-in-law: "I have decided. When my daughter-in-law is in confinement, I will ask a confinement nanny to come back and take care of you. After all, confinement nanny is more professional than us in taking care of children, and today's children are all They are more delicate, and our parenting concepts are also different. If you want to raise a child, you have to learn this or pay attention to that. I am a rough person, I have never done this, and I don’t know how to do it, so I ask for a confinement nanny. Come back and take care of your daughter-in-law."
After my daughter-in-law heard me explain this method, she said: "Do you think it is easy to hire a confinement nanny now? And confinement nannies are not cheap. The money your son only makes for a month is not enough to hire a nanny. How can we have the money?" "Please hire a nanny." I told them directly that I will pay for the confinement nanny's expenses this time. This is probably to express my love for my grandson, so that my daughter-in-law can feel more comfortable during confinement.
After I hired a confinement nanny, my life has indeed become more comfortable. As long as I am not allowed to resign, anything will be fine. I thought this matter was solved, but who knew that my daughter-in-law would immediately give her a post-confinement nanny? I called and asked when I would quit my job to take care of the children. She was going back to work. I was originally happy, but immediately felt lost.
I said to my daughter-in-law: "You have just given birth, so don't be so anxious to go to work. Your grandson is still so young. Why don't you take care of him at home for a few more years? Children who are so young need their parents to be with them." However, The daughter-in-law stopped talking. The son took the phone and said: "Mom, look at whose mother-in-law is not helping the daughter-in-law take care of the children. Moreover, we are under great pressure now. If I am the only one making money in the whole family, the pressure will be really great." "Yes, so my wife also wants to go out and earn more to support the family and buy milk powder for the children, so that the pressure on me will not be so great."
I asked where I can hire a nanny. Nowadays, nannies are very good. If they want to hire a nanny, I can introduce my colleagues to them. But my daughter-in-law is not willing. She thinks the nanny is unreliable and she does not feel comfortable hiring a nanny for her grandson. Taking care of her, I said that I am also a nanny myself, I naturally know which nannies are good, and asked her not to think so much, I will take care of it, and at the same time, I will also pay half of the nanny's cost, so that they will not be so stressed. Big.
But my daughter-in-law refuses to hire a nanny and insists that I resign to take care of her. She also said that if I don’t take care of her, they won’t provide me with care in the future. I didn’t expect my daughter-in-law to say such a thing. I have no choice but to be alone. Son, I will need to rely on him in the future. In the end, I had no choice but to resign. I thought I would have to pay liquidated damages. However, my employer was nice and did not deduct my money, so I resigned. After
resigned, I came to my son’s house to help them take care of their children. They went out to work. I thought that if I came to take care of the children, there would be no less conflicts between me and them. But who would have thought that since I came, The conflict is getting deeper. My daughter-in-law looks at me every day and is very unhappy and lazy. She either asks me to do this or whatever. I have to take care of my grandchildren and them at the same time. I feel aggrieved and my health is getting worse day by day. , until one day, I collapsed from exhaustion and was admitted to the hospital. The two of them still had no conscience, and they were still thinking that I was sick. Who knew that their children did not take my affairs to heart at all, and I felt very sad. .
Although I don’t want to get sick, I have been tired for a long time and have no choice. I often feel dizzy and anemic. My daughter-in-law is also anxious and has no one to take care of the child. Although she is the mother of a grandson, she can count the time she spends taking care of her grandson with her fingers. So she doesn't know how to take care of children, but there's nothing she can do about it. I'm sick now, and her mother is the same, so there's no one to take care of the children. The daughter-in-law can only take care of the children herself. If she doesn't know how, she can learn.
About half a month later, I was finally able to go home. When I got home, I saw my daughter-in-law playing with the children. When she saw me, she said: "I have roasted the bones on the table for you." The soup nourishes the body, drink it while it's hot." This was the first time I drank something cooked by my daughter-in-law. I was still a little bit surprised and quite touched. For a while, she didn't let me take care of the child. Instead, I was asked to focus on taking good care of my body and take care of my children when the time comes. Seeing their changes, I feel good and relieved.
Through this incident, they also know where their responsibilities lie. They are no longer like before, just not playing when they are full and ignoring the children. Now they know how hard I have worked. No matter how tired they are every day, they will do what they can. It's good to help me share some housework and not make me so tired.
Summary
Through this incident, I also understand that parents should not do everything for themselves. Children should do what they should do. Whether it is a daughter-in-law or a mother-in-law, if she has no money to take care of her children, she will ask for money with her palm up. It’s not easy for everyone, so it’s better to have your own principles.
