This is the story of the 325th real person we told
I am the sea
(this is me before going to the United States)
I have been a cheerful child since I was a child, I am easy-going and like to make friends. Social skills are relatively strong. From studying to working, I get along very well with others and am very adaptable to the environment.
Until I graduated from college, my life was as plain as water and calm. goes to school step by step, lives with the flow, has no great ambitions and plans for the future, and has never thought of going abroad, let alone think that a seven-foot boy will work as a nanny after going abroad! has really brought about subversive changes in my life.
My academic performance was pretty good when I was studying. Although it is not among the best, it is still in the middle and upper reaches. It is the kind that does not require teachers and parents to worry about, and does not make them feel proud. My parents have no mandatory requirements for my studies. They hope that I can develop a positive, optimistic and independent personality rather than brilliant grades in .
(optimism and positivity are the most distinctive characters in me)
The enlightened education method of my parents made me and my sister not have a lot of pressure in learning, and the whole childhood and adolescence were spent in a relaxed and happy atmosphere. The only thing that bothers them about is that I fell in love early in junior high school. They were worried that it would affect my study, so they criticized and educated me more.
But later they discovered that my studies were not affected by my puppy love. Instead, driven by that girl, I became more motivated to study, and my grades rose instead of falling. Later, they turned a blind eye to my falling in love and stopped interfering forcefully.
Later, this girl and I were admitted to the same key high school and then to the same university. After graduating from college, we received our marriage certificate. The girl who has accompanied me throughout my youth and will accompany me throughout the rest of my life is called Tiantian. Now, she is my wife and will become the mother of my children in the future.
(she is the girl Tiantian who accompanied me throughout my youth)
Tiantian and I met when we were in junior high school. She is a very shy and reserved girl, while I am more lively, cheerful and talkative. There is quite a contrast in our personalities. However, this complementary personality makes us very dependent on each other, and we have never had any serious quarrels or conflicts in so many years together.
Tiantian is a person who has a very strong learning ability. She is very savvy in learning and likes to explore new knowledge. When we finished our undergraduate studies in China, I did not continue my studies, but devoted myself to the challenging and well-paid sales industry. But Tiantian still wants to continue to take the postgraduate entrance examination, and she is going abroad to study for graduate school. This span made me a little overwhelmed for a while.
Before Tiantian told me that she wanted to study abroad, the concept of going abroad had never appeared in my mind. When a person becomes obsessed with something, he or she will spend a lot of time and thought thinking about it. Combined with Tiantian’s situation, I began to seriously consider the feasibility of going abroad.
(This is a photo of Tiantian and I hanging out in our free time)
Tiantian’s family is very supportive of her studying in the United States. The purpose of reading is to realize the greatest value in life, and she also has this talent. I also support her decision. Therefore, there was no resistance when she realized this idea. During the summer vacation of 2018, she successfully completed all the procedures for studying abroad.
When I told my parents about my idea of going abroad, they were against it at first. Because in their consciousness, boys should stabilize when they reach the age of twenty-five or sixteen. Even if you are not in a hurry to start a family and have children, you must at least stabilize your career and build your own network of contacts.
Moreover, they are also worried about whether we can take care of ourselves when we are in the unfamiliar America. With such a high level of consumption, we don’t have any skills, so how can we protect our own lives? Especially some negative news about studying abroad make them feel scared and frightened.
(Tiantian and I have been running on the road of exploring the unknown, fulfilling and happy)
Actually, I can understand the parents’ worries. After all, no parents are willing to let their children take risks outside their own field of vision. Compared to my parents' worries, I am relatively calm and objective. I feel that life is inherently full of uncertainties, and the trajectory of life cannot be as smooth as we imagine.
Although these uncertainties can make people very passive and at a loss, the process of dealing with the unknown is also a challenge and growth, isn't it? People always have to go through hardships to know where the boundaries of their abilities are.
So, after I told my parents in detail why we have the idea of going abroad, and how I will arrange our life and study after going abroad, they agreed to let us try it. The safety of both.
At the beginning of 2019, I boarded a flight to the United States with my parents' instructions, and traveled across the ocean to follow my girl and the dream that had just risen in my heart.
(This is a photo of Tiantian and I traveling in Orlando)
After more than 12 hours of flying, I finally arrived at the Boston airport. After getting off the plane, Tiantian was already waiting for me at the airport exit. When I walked out of the airport, I discovered that the United States in reality was not as prosperous and lively as what I had seen on TV.
Boston itself is a relatively large city. Due to its long history, many infrastructures are relatively dilapidated, which makes the city look less vibrant. At the moment of , I felt somewhat disappointed.
However, disappointment is only a fleeting feeling. Now that I have arrived here, the most important thing is to settle down first, and then develop my life here step by step according to my ideas, instead of lamenting and judging the appearance and history of this country and this city.
Tiantian went to graduate school in Rhode Island. For the convenience of going to and from school, she rented a house near the school. When I first came to the United States, Tiantian first took me to familiarize myself with the surrounding environment and told me what to pay attention to when communicating with locals. Fortunately, I have a relatively strong ability to adapt to unfamiliar environments, and within a few days I got used to the routine and daily life here.
(This is a picture of me when I was an apprentice in a restaurant)
The next thing I need to overcome is language and eating problems. Although I have learned English for 10 years from junior high school to university, it was only when I was in an environment where I communicated in English that I realized that the English knowledge I learned at school is almost useless in my daily life. So, I need to relearn and practice my ability to use English.
followed by the problem of eating. In fact, when I got off the plane, I found that Tiantian lost a lot of weight. After asking, I found out that she is not used to the food here. Every day is hamburgers, milk, and sandwiches. If she eats too much, she will get tired of eating. When I really don't want to eat bread, I will cook some noodles to eat, and the nutritional intake is far from enough. In just a few months after coming to the United States, she lost a lot of weight.
Before coming to the United States, neither Tiantian nor I knew how to cook. We have been studying for so many years, and we have always been a group of students who open their mouths without any cooking experience. Therefore, is in a foreign country where the price level is extremely high and the labor cost is extremely expensive. We have to force ourselves to learn how to cook from scratch.
(When we really don’t want to cook, we spend money to go out to eat)
Tiantian’s study time is very tight, and the study pressure is very high, and I also have an idea of opening a restaurant in the United States, so learning to cook comes naturally became my errand. So, I set my goal of looking for a job as a restaurant chef.
In many Chinese restaurants abroad, it is easier to apply for a waiter than to apply for a chef job, because the technical requirements for a waiter's job are not high and the salary is relatively low. When I first started looking for a job, I had a hard time finding a restaurant that would take on apprentices. Today, I am still very grateful to my boss at that time for giving me this job opportunity, which allowed me to have my first income in the United States.
Here in the United States, many Chinese are willing to help their compatriots, especially young people like me and Tiantian who have just arrived. We don’t know much about the living environment and interpersonal communication here. Whenever we encounter difficulties and problems in life, they will be obliged to help us.
(After learning to cook, I became familiar with various forms of food preparation)
When I was studying in a restaurant, the boss and the chef would patiently teach me how to cut vegetables, garnish and prepare dishes. I also studied very hard and seriously. , and always rush to do some dirty work. Although that period of time was very tiring and hard work, it was also the most fulfilling and happiest day for me. Because I obviously feel that I am growing and improving, and the feeling of harvest has also made me plump and confident.
If the epidemic had not broken out in early 2020, I might have opened a restaurant in the United States to protect my life and pursue my own development, like many Chinese people who came to the United States. However, an epidemic in has paralyzed the economies of the world, and my dream of opening a restaurant has also been forced to run aground.
In April 2020, I lost my job completely due to poor restaurant business. Tiantian and I were trapped at home for nearly 3 months. Just when I was anxious about being without work and income for a long time, a friend of mine recommended me to help out at a boss’s house.
He said that the boss is also Chinese and does business here because he and his wife are usually busy with work and want to find a trustworthy person to help them take care of their family life and take care of their two children's daily life and study.
(The baby was only 10 months old when I first arrived at my boss’s house)
My first reaction after hearing the introduction from my friend was: He was looking for a nanny. My friend said: "It can be understood this way, but not everyone can be his nanny. Because of work requirements, you have to live at the boss's house during workdays. Because you have a high degree of education and can cook, the key is people My taste is very good, and I especially like children, so I recommend you to give it a try. The salary during the trial period is 1W.”
Although I am not very interested in this job, in order to have an income to protect my and Tiantian’s life, I Promised to try it. After all, in America, where money is spent as soon as you open your eyes, I can't be hard on money.
I was very nervous when I went to the boss's house for the first time . One is because I am not mentally prepared and I am afraid that he will look down on me; the other is that I have never been in contact with a boss of this level and don’t know how to greet and communicate with him. However, when I met my boss, I found that all my worries were unnecessary.
(This is a photo of me coaxing the baby to sleep)
He and the proprietress are both very amiable people, without any airs of boss, and the children are also very polite. During the communication process, the boss asked me about my current living situation and whether there was anything I needed his help with. Then they told me the specific work I needed to do and the salary they could pay.
When we first met, we had a very good impression of each other. I felt that this job content was something I could easily handle, so I took the job.
In fact, the content of the nanny's job is the same, which is to help the employer's house management, arrange three meals a day, and provide auxiliary care for the children. For a male nanny like me, cleaning is not my strong point, and other tasks are no problem.
The owner’s house is cleaned by specialized cleaning staff. I am mainly responsible for the family’s daily purchases, daily dietary arrangements, and the care and study guidance of the two small owners.
(playing with two small bosses is also an important part of my job)
Some people may not understand why a big man is willing to be a nanny? In fact, in my opinion, everyone in seeks a job by relying on their own abilities, and everyone is equal in front of every job opportunity, there is no distinction between high and low, let alone gender discrimination . Any job that provides value to others deserves respect.
My view on the job of nanny is very simple. As long as the boss needs it and as long as I can do it, we can reach a cooperative relationship. This is the same as any other employment relationship. Moreover, what I have gained in this job is not only salary, but also knowledge and family affection, all of which go far beyond the concept of nanny.
The longer we spend time with the boss and his family, the more we know each other and the closer our relationship becomes, especially since both children like to be with me very much. I prepare delicious food for them, take them to school, take them out to play, feel their joys and sorrows with their parents, and witness their growth.
(The happy smiles of the children are the greatest recognition and encouragement to me)
The children have always called me brother, and I treat them with both the love of an older brother and the responsibility of an elder. I like this very much in the employment relationship. The feelings that have grown up are sincere and warm.
Usually when the bosses are not busy, they will invite Tiantian and me to attend their family dinners, specially prepare our favorite dishes, and will take us with them every time they travel. More than half of the places Tiantian and I have traveled in the United States were taken by the bosses.
Every time there is a holiday or when Tiantian and I have birthdays, the boss and his family will prepare expensive gifts for us, and my salary has also been increased to 30,000 yuan per month. This kind of acceptance and kind treatment of makes us feel moved and cherished from the bottom of our hearts. When
started, I just took this job as a part-time job to pass, but I didn't expect it to become my main business later. Moreover, more importantly, under the advice and guidance of my boss, my business thinking gradually opened up, and I began to rethink my career planning.
(Time with children is the happiest and happiest)
The boss suggested that I should not limit my sights to opening a restaurant. Now that the Internet is so developed, I can take advantage of this and combine it with the resources I have. For some things, I also got inspiration from my boss's suggestion when doing self-media.
He also said that if I want to continue studying in the United States, he can help me contact the school and provide me with some resources. However, at this stage, I hope that I can achieve a career more than studying.
Under the recommendation of my boss, I also met many people with high education and high income. In the process of contacting them, I realized how big the pattern and vision of successful people are. They are down-to-earth in their careers, proactive, and open-minded in their dealings with others. They always push themselves to keep making progress, and they do not forget to support their younger generations, and they are even more considerate of me.
In 2021, after Tiantian graduated from graduate school, found a job doing data analysis at a major Internet company. The work location was in Austin, Texas, far away from New York where the boss was located. Because this job is very beneficial to Tiantian's development, she also likes it very much. So, I had to quit my job at the boss's house and move to Austin with Tian Tian.
(When I left my boss’s house, my two children cried and refused to let me leave. There was also a lot of reluctance and sadness hidden behind my smile)
I worked at my boss’s house for a year and a half, and during this time we established a deep feeling. Therefore, this separation made us all sad, especially the two children who cried very sadly when they heard that Tiantian and I were leaving, which made me feel very sad. Although the boss and his wife were very reluctant to leave, they respected our decision and sincerely hoped that we would get better and better.
The relationship between people will always go through various tests, and what finally settles down overcomes time and distance. Moreover, feelings without any interests involved are more pure and precious.
So far, I have been away from my boss's house for more than 8 months. During this period, I often go back to see them, and I will travel with them during holidays. After each brief reunion, we still feel sad because we are parting, but seeing that we are getting better and better, they are still very relieved and happy in their hearts.
(When I first left, Xiaobao cried every time I called, which made me feel bad)
After coming to Austin, Tiantian quickly threw herself into her new job and was busy every day. In addition to shooting videos every day, I also learn how to make sushi in a restaurant. At the same time, I partner with domestic friends to do some import and export trade, mainly importing some products from China for retail in the United States.
In addition, at the invitation of my friends, I also acted as a basketball coach for several children, teaching them how to play basketball on weekends. Because I have a lot of work to do, my time is also very tight every day. However, in order to realize my plan of buying a house with Tiantian, I am willing to take this hard work.
Affected by the epidemic, restaurant work and trade are not easy to do, so the job that takes up most of my time now is to shoot videos. I shared my experience and life in the United States on the Internet platform. I didn't expect that so many people liked my video.
(This is a photo of Tiantian and I when we were looking at houses in Austin)
Actually, Tiantian and I are not proficient in self-media, but simply learned some shooting and editing skills on the Internet, and processed the videos we shot. Share it out. When there are more and more fans, I am even more in awe of the content I post. Every time I want to share some real knowledge and life with netizens, so that everyone can feel and understand the relationship between China and the United States at close range through my lens. cultural and life differences.
As I said in the video, the United States is not as luxurious and rich as we see on TV. People who come here also need to work hard to live an ordinary life; the United States is not as democratic and free as we imagined. In this land, many behaviors will also be restricted and restricted; there are many white-collar workers in suits and leather shoes and jeweled nobles, but there are also ragged beggars and brutal and vicious tramps everywhere.
Of course, Everything is relative, any environment is compatible, order and chaos coexist, decay and innovation coexist, we want its beautiful side, but also accept its bad side, just like every Just as individuals are imperfect, so are countries and cities.
(This is a photo of Tiantian and I when we were visiting the furniture store)
In April 2022, Tiantian and I finally bought our favorite house in Austin. 200 square meters, the price increased from 360W to 390W, finally winning among many competitors. When the dust settled on buying a house, our hearts were completely settled.
has been working here for four years, and we finally have our own home. Over the past four years, we have taken care of each other and supported each other. We have moved forward side by side on the road to achieving our goals.
Four years of hard work, four years of frugality, four years of careful planning, four years of homelessness, all have an explanation at the moment of signing the house purchase contract. From then on, we have our own place to stay and our own harbor.
(Four years in the United States, I can finally give my girl a home of our own)
This journey, I am very grateful to my parents who support me unconditionally, and I am grateful to my relatives and friends who are still missing me thousands of miles away. My boss, who made me feel the warmth of family in a foreign country, is grateful to all my fans and friends who cheered me up during difficult times. Thank you for your support and trust, thank you for your concern and care, thank you for your congratulations and blessings.
I bought a house in the United States not because the house is in the United States, but because I want to give the girl who has been with me for 14 years a home, a place that can protect her from wind and rain and provide her with a sense of security. I always believe that our love can change from school uniforms to wedding dresses, and our lives can also change from black hair to white hair.
[Oral Narration: Dahai]
[Editor: Qian Duoduo]
So far we have recorded the stories of 325 real people, which have moved the interviewees and millions of readers.
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