Human and human brains can be linked together to form a brain network. The operation of this brain network cannot be measured by current science. Although it is still in the hypothesis stage, we can further imagine the following situation: the present self may also be connected with the past self and the future self. It can be said that if you feel unhappy when you think of the past, it is actually because the current self is imitating the brain of the past.
If this is explained based on the mirror neuron doctrine, it can be said that Mr. S’s brain has accessed the future self, thus awakening the anxiety about the “future”. The reason why Mr. S said “it’s too painful to apologize to the other party” is because if you apologize, you will really face a failed future, and your own brain in the future is connected with your own brain now, so They will feel uneasy, break down, and lose motivation.
If someone says: "I am very upset about the future." Many people around will usually say to him: "You worry too much." or something like that. However, in fact, no one knows whether this kind of anxiety is really too much worry. Perhaps it is because in the future I will really encounter a disturbing state, so I will be disturbed when I think about it now. In other words, the anxiety about the future cannot be eliminated with a single sentence of "careful".
However, there is no need to despair. If it's not overly worrying, then the pain I feel now is telling myself my future failures. And in this way, as long as you consider the possible future failures as much as possible in the current situation, you will naturally find options that will not lead to failure.In other words, you can use this to find ways to succeed.
In order to eliminate this failure, the method I suggest is to learn from the failed future to make the best choice.
This idea is not supported by scientific evidence, so some people may object to the implementation of the method of eliminating the fault described below. Here, it can be understood as a kind of externalization training, the purpose is to make myself believe: I am not avoiding unpleasant things because of slack, but avoiding the future that I might have opened.
This method is introduced in detail below.
learn from a failed future
“learn from a future that needs a high degree of effort” to learn from a future that needs to be “painful” This feeling.
First, imagine a behavior that makes you feel "painful to do", and then decide not to do it. In the case of Mr. S, because he felt "it is too painful to apologize to the other party", he must first decide to "not apologize".
decides to "not apologize", and then the next disturbing question will emerge immediately, such as the other party being angry,Calling the company and shouting: "Why didn't you come to apologize!" This scene will also make Mr. S feel painful, so please avoid this scene again.
If the scene that emerges next is still unpleasant, then just like when the cards with the same number are flipped in the game of "Card Flip", let the scenes turn over. Don't think deeply here, make a decision in an instant.
In this way, the timeline will continue to change, and it will also change in the future. The future events that might happen because of not apologizing will come to my mind one by one.
allows imaginable scenes to come to mind, just like turning over cards one by one, without having to look at the surface of the cards until you can't think of anything in the end. So what will happen after this? At that point, you will find out which future is the most successful. This is how you become able to take action freely.
Being uneasy means that there is a real possibility of failure in the future. If you choose to escape at this time, you will definitely be in disaster at that time on the timeline. By repeatedly erasing the unpleasant feelings that appear as mentioned above, you can understand the various failures that may occur.
Seeing the future of failure, we also understand what kind of behavior can lead to failure. In "Card Flip", once the cards are turned over, you can know which number is where the card is. This feeling is somewhat similar.
finally can't think of anything,It means that you have automatically completed the study and know what the best course of action is. If your instinct tells you "that's it, it's now", then you must be able to move spontaneously.
Learn from failure. The more you learn, the more naturally you will understand what to do to succeed. If you feel that a certain behavior is "really annoying," then it may actually be the case, and the annoying future is waiting ahead; this feeling is accurate, so such a future must be eliminated.
S once thought that "it is too painful to apologize to the other party", but after taking the above methods, he finally chose to apologize. Not to apologize compellingly, but to take the initiative. According to this method, what must be said on the right occasion will be spoken automatically and fluently. Since the lessons have been learned from future failures, the same failure will never happen again.
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0p Annoying, paralyzed after get off work"...It turns out that I am not too lazy. The cause of the "failure" is often unexpected.
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