Note: This article undertakes "In the changing environment, the key to regulating emotions is to understand that environmental changes are eternal."

Note: This article follows "In the changing environment, the key to regulating emotions is to understand that environmental changes are eternal." This paper is the fifth in a series of papers sharing the theme of improving the psychological and emotional regulation ability of "coping with environmental changes" - "personality quality". It focuses on the second understanding of the environment that helps us cope with environmental changes and regulate emotions - environmental change is eternal. It is proposed that people who truly understand this understanding will neither unknowingly ignore environmental changes, nor will they fall into the process pattern of "change - pros and cons - good, bad - emotions", allowing their emotions to fluctuate due to environmental changes. This article will use the general system analysis method as an entry point to discuss the third understanding of the environment that helps to "regulate emotions."

1. A general method of defining things

Before formally sharing the overall understanding of the third type of meeting environment, Xiaoyao first introduces to friends a general method that can systematically define all things. I hope that everyone can better understand the environment and respond to changes in the environment, thereby improving our "personality quality" and achieving self-improvement through the integration of "wisdom and personality quality".

From an intellectual perspective, most things seem to be comprehensively described through the following three aspects. Xiaoyao will explain it in detail first.

first, with or without? Take environmental change as an example. Has the environment changed or has it not changed?

Secondly, if there is, is it more or less in quantity and greater or smaller in extent? Taking environmental change as an example, if it has been determined that the environment has indeed changed, how many times has it changed? So how much has changed?

Third, if so, is it good or bad in terms of quality (reasonable or unreasonable)? Are there pros or cons in terms of pros and cons? Still taking environmental changes as an example, has the environment gotten better or worse? Are changes good or bad for "me"? Putting these three questions together,

, is a typical system analysis method. In short, there are three issues: presence, quantity and quality. Among them, presence or absence is the basis. Only with specific things can there be differences in quantity (degree), and only then can specific things be good or bad in different quantities (degrees). Of course, the prerequisite for defining presence and absence is to define the thing itself. So there is a major premise for the three questions - what is thing? In this way, the question group composed of these four questions can systematically analyze most things.

2. What have we already learned?

In order to effectively coordinate and control the psychological reactions and corresponding emotional fluctuations caused by environmental changes, Xiaoyao proposed a new trait of " personality quality " and defined it as " people's overall understanding of the environment, and the ability to regulate their psychology and emotions in response to environmental changes under this understanding." Next, we started sharing related to the environment, psychological reactions, and emotional fluctuations.

In fact, if you think about it for a moment, you will find that the sharing of Xiaoyao is actually based on the above four issues.

First of all, we defined the "environment" (the first overall understanding of the environment)

The environment can be divided into internal and external, but the external environment is the key environment that affects the cultivation and improvement of "personality quality".

The external environment itself is the system, mainly composed of the natural environment and the social environment. Among them, the social environment is an organic combination of multiple elements dominated by the "non-self collection" other than "I". In most cases, "I" is dealing with the external environment dominated by the "non-self collective". Therefore, the external social environment has a greater impact on "I". And once "I" is defined, the external environment of "I" can also be clearly defined.

"I" is composed of "material self" and "conscious self". The "material self" is relatively stable, while the "conscious self" is more flexible and difficult to define.Xiaoyao believes that on the basis of the "material self", will moderately expand the scope of the "conscious self" through self-cultivation, and include more and more "non-self" within the scope of the "conscious self". Organically combining the benefits of "self" with the benefits of "non-self" will help the "self" better adapt to the external environment. Therefore, Xiaoyao summarizes the external environment at the "personality quality" level as an " dynamic " external environment . It is a social environment dominated by the natural environment other than the "material self" and the collection of "non-self" other than the "conscious self" after self-cultivation.

In this way, while defining the environment, we also improve our ability to coordinate and control "various psychological reactions and corresponding emotional fluctuations caused by environmental changes", that is, improve "personality quality". The improvement process of "personality quality" has also become the "self-improvement" process of "my" "internal psychological environment".

Secondly, we discussed the presence or absence of environmental changes (environmental change is eternal - the second type of overall understanding of the environment)

The external environment dominated by the "non-self collective" is always in constant change. Whether we like it or not, the external environment will not change or stop changing based on the consciousness of "I", let alone change the direction of its change based on our likes and dislikes. However, due to the pros and cons, most people subconsciously do not want the environment to change, and often ignore small changes in the environment without knowing it. often do not begin to acknowledge changes in the environment until they have to face the changes in the environment. However, it is often too late, which often affects the function of wisdom, inhibits self-improvement, and affects our happy life.

On the contrary, if we are willing to observe changes in the environment and are good at discovering changes in the environment that are often ignored by us, we can often focus on the changing environment and changing things, burst out wisdom, respond to changes reasonably, and achieve self-improvement and a happy life.

Thirdly, we discussed the issue of more or less environmental changes (environmental change is eternal - the second type of overall understanding of the environment)

Although, in the nature of pursuing profit, we often ignore changes in the environment. However, we are still particularly vulnerable to environmental changes due to our profit-seeking nature. falls into the bad pattern of "changes lead to pros and cons, pros and cons lead to likes and dislikes, and likes and dislikes lead to emotions". Often after the environment changes, allowing the "conscious self" to change flexibly will lead to various psychological reactions and corresponding emotional fluctuations.

Therefore, we should truly agree that "environmental change is eternal." The formation of this subjective consciousness will help us to minimize various psychological reactions and corresponding emotional fluctuations caused by likes and dislikes when facing changes in the environment, and then focus on the "thing" itself, creating good conditions for wisdom to work. To put it more familiarly, when the environment changes, tell yourself: it will change. Just pay attention to the changes in the environment, focus on the "changing things," and do the "things" well.

When "we" really form such a subjective consciousness, we often find that wisdom is around us.

3. The third general understanding is proposed

However, having said that, most people trapped in the triple hidden wall have developed the habit of "change - pros and cons - likes and dislikes - psychological and emotional fluctuations".Therefore, many friends have the following questions: Even if we understand the definition of dynamic environment and are willing to include more and more "not-self" into the scope of "conscious self"; even if we form the subjective consciousness that "environmental changes are eternal", can they really help us effectively coordinate and control various psychological reactions and corresponding emotional fluctuations caused by environmental changes?

Indeed, there is often a distance between understanding and practice, not to mention that the fundamental purpose of practice is to combat the various habits we have developed due to our profit-seeking nature. More importantly: "putting things first" requires the integration of wisdom and personality quality, which requires our long-term self-cultivation and the explosion of wisdom in self-cultivation.

Another point is that the "overall understanding of the environment" that is conducive to the improvement of personality quality has not been shared yet. There is also a third category of overall awareness. The understanding and practice of the three types of understanding should have more practical application value.

So, what is the third category’s overall understanding of the environment? Xiaoyao believes that many smart friends have guessed that it should be closely related to the quality of environmental changes. Specifically, it should be closely related to the results of pros and cons analysis and judgment that are of greatest concern to people who are deeply influenced by their profit-seeking nature. Without being too pretentious, the overall understanding of the environment in the third category can be expressed as follows: "It is normal for the results of environmental changes to be different from what I hoped for (disadvantages)." It can also be briefly described as: It is normal for environmental changes to lead to "backfire" results.

4. Understand from multiple angles "It is normal for environmental changes to lead to "backfire" results."

Upon seeing this statement, many friends' first impression was that Xiaoyao's sharing seemed like a cliche. Another sentence often comes to mind: "Nine out of ten things in life are unsatisfactory." It must be admitted that this sentence is often remembered by frustrated people when they are frustrated. The original frustration is saddened, and then it often turns into helplessness, and finally turns into passive adaptation.

Could it be that the coordination and control of various psychological reactions and corresponding emotional fluctuations caused by environmental changes that Xiaoyao mentioned refer to this process? Could it be that Xiaoyao proposed this third category of overall understanding of the environment just to tell everyone that environmental changes will cause great "disadvantages"? Is this third type of understanding the so-called self-comfort or even self-brainwashing?

The answer is naturally no. Next, Xiaoyao will share with you this overall understanding of the environment.

. Let’s start from a situation that Xiaoyao often encounters:

(1) Is it chicken soup for the soul?

Many friends have classified Xiaoyao’s sharing into the category of “Chicken Soup for the Soul”. When there is resonance, my heart trembles. When there is no resonance, just put it aside.

And what does the resonance come from? Xiaoyao believes that although there are indeed a few friends who burst out with sparks of wisdom based on the content they shared, it has become "new content" that suits them. But most people mainly come from "their own existing understanding." To put it bluntly, resonance often occurs when the main point of what Xiaoyao shares is consistent with the existing understanding in everyone's mind. It is conceivable that since there are "existing" things, things we are accustomed to, and things we think are reasonable, it is often difficult for us to use this to burst out our wisdom and produce new things. Without the explosion of wisdom, self-improvement will inevitably be greatly restricted. "I" will have more and more experience in wandering in existing circles, the phenomenon of "second decision-making" will become more and more common, and emotions will fluctuate with changes in the environment...

In short, does not have the resonance of wisdom to burst out, which often limits the self-improvement of . Xiaoyao believes: Sometimes, even calling it a vicious cycle is not an exaggeration. Of course, the vast majority of friends who have not yet started may not agree with this statement. (It’s too much to regard the shock of the soul as a vicious cycle process! Alas, the profit-seeking nature jumped out again.)

However, it is not difficult to understand: the more wisdom cannot be unleashed, the more certain it will be in existing judgments and evaluations; and the more certain it is in existing judgments and evaluations, the harder it will be to face up to environmental changes, and the harder it will be to explode wisdom to respond to environmental changes.

Therefore, please stop focusing on the “chicken soup for the soul” at the conscious level. Xiaoyao’s sharing is by no means a consolation to help everyone “wander in the existing circles”. As long as you understand "change" and "integration" to a certain extent and are willing to practice the sixteen-character policy ( focus on things-grasp the theme-explode wisdom-multiple profits ) in reality, the core theme of the integration stage ( On the basis of understanding the sixteen-character policy, the great integration of "mind and legal wisdom", "wisdom and personality quality", and "self and non-self" ) will be realized to a certain extent. The core purpose of elite self-cultivation - continuous improvement and happy life will be realized.

(2) Has wisdom exploded?

Seeing this, friends, are you bursting with wisdom?

Just imagine: The environment itself is constantly changing, without specific things, without the application and explosion of wisdom, and only using the so-called "existing things" and "remaining unchanged in response to all changes" to get satisfactory results. How difficult will it be?

If "I" don't want to change reasonably with the changes in the environment, or even artificially ignore the changes in the environment, wouldn't it be normal for things to backfire after the changes in the environment?

. Let us talk about the mutual influence and function of "I" and "not myself".

(1) The general process of "I" dealing with "not myself" (individual or collective).

In fact, "I" usually deal with "not myself". It's just that sometimes "I" know this clearly, and sometimes "I" don't know it.

When "I" deal with "not-I", the relationship of "input-transformation-output" naturally comes into play. Specifically, when the output of "non-me" becomes the input of "me" and forms an impact on "me" through , "me" will often form corresponding consciousness (output), which in turn triggers corresponding behavior (output).

(2) How does "I" judge whether the output of "not me" affects me?

The profit-seeking nature tells us: judge by the pros and cons.

However, the expressions of "pros and cons" are diverse and will change under different circumstances. Sometimes pursuing advantages will turn into pursuing disadvantages, which leads to the judgment of pros and cons in many cases. So, how does "I" judge the pros and cons?

Xiaoyao believes that in the process of interaction with "not-self", we have found a simple and quick standard for judging pros and cons, and gradually formed a habit shared by everyone. The most common criterion is the degree of consistency between the output of the "not-self" (the collection of non-self) and the thoughts of "my". The idea of ​​"I" mainly comes from two aspects: "what I already have" (static), such as experience, likes and dislikes, etc. and the consciousness generated by comparing it with "what I already have" (dynamic).

Give two simple examples. For example, "I" want to do a certain job, but the leader (not me) assigns "me" another job. For another example, "I" am used to sleeping in late on Sundays, but a certain social event (a non-me group) that I must participate in requires me to get up early. In the above two things, "my" thoughts and the output of the external environment are different. At this time, will "I" "judge" it as a "disadvantage" from the difference, and then become disgusted, and finally produce relatively unpleasant psychological reactions and corresponding mood swings, which will lead to subsequent decisions and actions?

Xiaoyao believes that for most friends, a similar process is too familiar: changes lead to pros and cons, pros and cons lead to likes and dislikes, likes and dislikes lead to psychology and emotions, and psychology and emotions lead to decisions and actions.

(3) How big is the difference between "I" and "not myself"?

Although Xiaoyao has been analyzing from the perspective of "me", "not-me" belongs to the external environment of "me", doesn't "me" also belong to the external environment of "not-me"?

When "I" forms consciousness and actions due to changes in "not-self", isn't it also a change in "not-self"'s "environment"? At this time, the "not-self" will also judge the pros and cons based on whether the "results of my changes" are consistent with "his thoughts", and then formulate decisions and actions.

(4) Has wisdom exploded?

Seeing this, friends, are you bursting with wisdom?

There are too many forms of realization of "profit", and the "non-self" who has not yet started self-cultivation often focuses on the acquisition of "self-interest". It is not easy to achieve "consistency" in the process of mutual influence and interaction between "self" and "non-self"! Isn’t it normal for things to backfire after changes in the environment?

. Expansive thinking

Seeing this, some people may ask, although the output of "non-me" is different from "my thoughts", what if the output of "non-my" will be more beneficial to "me"?

Think about it, first of all, "non-mine" and "mine" are not consistent; secondly, "I" can find that this inconsistency is more beneficial to "me". This inevitably requires calling on the "evaluation" process in the "mind". So how do "I" evaluate it? Xiaoyao believes that there are usually two evaluation methods.

The first evaluation method: can be judged to be more advantageous through a simple pros and cons evaluation.

is more specific. It is more conducive to realize these "convergent benefits" to judge by the "expression of convergent benefits" (such as money, materials, rights, etc.). For example, "I" originally hoped to earn 3,000 yuan this month, but at the end of the month, I was paid a salary of 3,500 yuan. Another example: "I" originally hoped to be a team leader, but as a result, the leader asked me to be a manager.

But having said that, if "I" use this method to evaluate, once "non-mine" and "mine" are obviously inconsistent, I am afraid that "mine" will be significantly unhappy. If you exchange the hopes and results in the two examples just now, you can imagine it. Therefore, although the evaluation method of is very commonly used and seems to be very effective, its essence is not much different from the pros and cons judgment standard of "Is it the same as what is not mine?" They are both "second decisions" based on simple judgments of pros and cons. The role of wisdom is basically suppressed, and it is often still stuck in the process model of "changes lead to pros and cons, pros and cons lead to likes and dislikes, and likes and dislikes lead to psychology and emotions".

In addition, there is a very important point. Although this method is simple and effective, people often have basic judgment standards. What is the probability of something unexpected happening? Even if it really happens, shouldn't we think about why the "not-self" behaves like this?

The second evaluation method : After "I" understands the "not-my" ideas or methods (doings), I evaluate the parts of them that are different from "mine", and finally come to the decision-making result that the "not-my" output is more beneficial to "me". For example, "I" have become accustomed to "making decisions in seconds", but a certain "non-self" tells "I" that it is best to use my mind to do a systematic analysis before making a decision. Through system analysis, "I" found that the final decision-making result was better than the result of "I"'s previous "second decision-making". It can be seen from

that no matter which method is used by , it requires a process of using the mind.

However, new problems also emerged. "I" need to think about the output of "not-self" and analyze, judge and evaluate it.But does "I" understand "not-self"? Will the habit of "making decisions in seconds" under "putting me first, pursuing advantages and avoiding disadvantages" help "I" understand "not-self"? Looking at it from another perspective, will the “not-self” understand the “me”? What is the essential difference between "not-self" and "me"?

In this case, isn't it normal that "non-self" is different from "mine", or that "mine" is inconsistent with "non-mine"? Isn’t it normal for the results of changes in the external environment to be inconsistent with my thoughts?

went around in a circle and came back again.

5. What should we do?

Why bother being unhappy because other people are different from you? When we are all swimming in existing circles, what can others do if they are the same as you? In most cases, it's just like two curves intersecting at a certain point.

Didn't Confucius say: "If a person does not know but is not angry (angry), is not a gentleman?"

Why not be a calm gentleman who "accepts differences"?

When we have formed the concept of "environmental change is eternal" in our subjective consciousness, we will immediately fall into the bad pattern of "change - pros and cons - likes and dislikes - psychology and emotions" due to environmental changes;

When we are willing to "accept differences" in our subjective consciousness, we will not immediately have various aversion psychological reactions and corresponding emotional fluctuations due to the "backfire" after environmental changes, and our wisdom will play its due role;

When we use wisdom to analyze different causes, we will strive to expand the scope of "I" and put "not-self" into a system to think about;

We will focus on the specific things that are happening. "Things", rather than various psychological reactions caused by changes in "not-self"; and then find the key in "things"; whether the differences in "not-self" are intentional or simply a habitual response to changes in the own environment, we can burst out with wisdom to respond to changes in the environment and differences in a reasonable manner.

Focus on things—grasp the main idea—explode wisdom—multiple profits!

Self-improvement and a happy life are right in front of you!