Psychologist Karen Horney once put forward this point of view in the book "Female Psychology": Under the influence of the Oedipus effect , the behavior displayed by everyone in the marriage and love relationship is traceable. Our behavior in the marriage and love can all be found in the shadow of our parents.
In the process of a person's growth, his family of origin has a vital influence on the formation of his thoughts. As the psychologist Adler said, happy people use their childhood to heal their lives, and unfortunate people use their lives to heal their childhood. What kind of family of origin a person grew up in during his childhood is often inseparable from his family of origin.
For example, a person whose native family is happy may have beautiful fantasies about love. He longs for love and feels that marriage should be synonymous with happiness. However, if a person's native family is unhappy, he may be afraid of love and feel that he cannot be happy in marriage.
In real life, we often see such girls. When they are looking for a love partner, they always like to find someone older than themselves. They feel that older men are more mature and better at taking care of others. From a psychological perspective, we can explore the reason. It is probably because these girls lack the company of their fathers in their childhood, so they have a better impression of older boys.
This is also evidence of the point of view put forward by Karen Horney in the book "The Psychology of Women": the formation of a person's view of love is inseparable from his family of origin.
1. Most people with happy native families are full of yearning for love.
People whose native families are happy mostly have a carefree childhood. Because of this, they take it for granted that love will also be happy.
Perhaps in their eyes, love is just like Snow White and Prince Charming in fairy tales. Even if their love path will encounter some insignificant setbacks, there will definitely be a happy ending in the end.
In love relationships, these people will be carefree, but they may also become naive like flowers in a greenhouse. They cannot tell whether those who try to get close to them are sincere or fake about them. They are more likely to be hurt in love relationships.
People with happy native families have innocent and beautiful imaginations about marriage and love. Although they are more likely to be happy, they can also easily give their sincerity to others wrongly.
2. People who are unfortunate in their native family will be very cautious about love.
A person whose native family is unfortunate has watched his parents quarreling all day long since childhood. People who grow up in such a family atmosphere may find married life painful. Because of this, they will be relatively cautious when choosing a love partner.
Perhaps in their view, a beautiful married life can only appear in movies, TV dramas, and fairy tales, while married life in reality is not so beautiful.
During the growth of a child, the people closest to them and the people with whom they have the most contact are their parents. They observe their parents' relationship patterns all day long, and will subtly regard their parents' behavior as the object of their own imitation.
Because people with unfortunate origins have been raised in a tense family environment, they will also behave very cautiously when faced with love choices.
3. The formation of a person’s concept of love is related to his family of origin.
Psychologist Adler once argued that a person's childhood experience will have a vital impact on his future life.
The experience of growing up in a native family will also have an important impact on a person's view of love.
For example, in Flaubert 's novel " Madame Bovary ", the heroine Emma is a person who pursues a luxurious life. In order to meet her material needs, she even owed a huge debt.
's over-reliance on material things may be due to her compensatory psychology after her childhood yearning for a luxurious life was not satisfied.
In short, the type of native family in which a person grew up in childhood will have an important impact on his future attitude towards love.
Psychologists believe that a person's attitude when facing a situation is likely to be related to the atmosphere of his native family.
People who were born in unfortunate native families often have a kind of sensitivity, inferiority and fear when facing love. They are both afraid of having love and yearning for love. If they want to get rid of the confusion caused by their native family about their view of love, they must learn to change their mentality and view love with a positive love.
Love is a reflection of a person's inner emotions. Whether a love relationship is beautiful or not depends on a person's inner thoughts about love. In a love relationship, you know how to give yourself some positive psychological hints so that you can have more sunny and positive thoughts when facing the choice of love. Only in this way can you obtain happy love.
(pictures from the Internet, deleted)
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