If you have experience in threading needles, you should know that the more you focus during the threading needle, the more likely you are to shake your hands, the more difficult it will be to penetrate the needle hole, which causes "purpose tremor". In psychology, this phenomenon

If you have experience in threading needles, you should know that the more you focus during the threading needle, the more likely you are to shake your hands, the more difficult it will be to penetrate the needle hole, which causes "purpose tremor". In psychology, this phenomenon is called "needle-threading effect" .

If we contact our lives, it is that the more you want to do something successful, the more likely you are to fail.

Let’s take an example. There is a famous tightrope walking performer. He has excellent acting skills and has never made any mistakes. In his later years, he planned to complete the last tightrope performance of his life before he retired. In order to solemnly draw a perfect rest for his performance career, he invited many celebrities and his relatives and friends to witness it. As a result, that time, he was halfway through, and fell down.

Because it was his last performance, his wife couldn't dispel his mind no matter how she persuaded her, and it turned out to be a tragedy.

The story also shows that The more you care about something, the more you will be burdened with your thoughts, the more you will be anxious, worry about gains and losses, and in the end, the easier it is to not achieve the desired result.

needle threading effect If it is quoted in your relationship with avoidant attachment , can you also be inspired?

Many times, you really want to have faster and more in-depth communication with the avoidant type, so you will devote yourself to it and spend a lot of time and energy. My reserved personality is now active and always gives enthusiastically, thinking that the other party's cold heart will melt.

But many times, the other party does not do as you wish, and he does not open his heart to you as you do to him.

The more you hope, the more disappointed you will be. When you invest more, the more you will expect to give back accordingly. Once you don’t get it, you will be anxious and desperate.

In fact, interacting with avoidant attachments is a gradual process. It is not that if you want to advance faster, the other party will cooperate with you. The avoidant type pays special attention to the changes in your relationship as time goes by. Can you keep your attention to him? Instead of being overwhelmed with enthusiasm in a short period of time. Some avoidant types even think that your excessive enthusiasm is other intentions, so they will run away.

The more you exert force on avoidance, the more you show your concerns about the development of your relationship, and your mood will appear on your face through your expression. When the avoidant type sees your anxious and distressed expression, he will feel uneasy and ashamed in his heart, which will make it easier to increase his avoidance.

Therefore, through the "needle threading effect", you should understand that only by keeping a calm mind, starting from the heart and moving step by step can you truly win the avoidance. In between, you can learn more about avoidance and get along with you, and you will definitely be able to slowly let the avoidance move towards you.