1.
First, let's first understand what "self-change" .
In the book " Awesome Me ", the author said: There are two selves in a human body, one is the emotional self and the other is the rational self.
Psychologists have made an image metaphor for these two "selfs": "sensual self " is like an elephant, and the "rational self" is like a person riding an elephant.
Although the person riding an elephant is holding a whip, its power is much smaller than that of an elephant.
So, many times, "rational self" cannot fully control "sensual self" , just like an elephant will not be completely driven by a whip once it is stimulated.
If you want to change yourself, first of all, we need to understand the sensory self, that is, the elephant with great power.
includes its temper and character:
1. It has great power, and many times rationality is prone to losing control.
2. It is easily driven by emotions and can easily lose its temper once it feels uncomfortable.
3. It is dominated by past experience and relies heavily on the benefits of experience that have been experienced.
From the above, we can see that the sensory self (elephant) is driven by emotions and experience, and I remember it deeply. Why is this happening to
? Because it is specific, experiences experienced, such as sleeping in, playing games, eating, drinking and having fun, are all the benefits of having tasted the sweetness.
No one can resist the real sweetness, even an elephant can't.
However, the benefits of our expectations for change are imagined, they are all said by others, and are not true at all. For example, getting up early, exercising, and losing weight.
elephant "sensual self" likes "sweetness" , while elephant rider "rational self" cannot immediately give sweetness.
This is why, when many people reach the key gate of self-change, they are easy to give up.
After understanding the reasons, I knew that "New Experience Sweetness" is almost decisive to a person's growth driver.
For example, after reading a few books, I can't feel that it is of use to me, and I can't taste new sweetness. It's easy to become boring from the beginning when I was in high spirits.
For example, for entrepreneurship, the first pot of gold's new sweetness is almost the key to a entrepreneur's success or failure. Without this new experience, it is easy to have no confidence to continue.
2.
So, after understanding the dilemma of self-change, do we really have no way to stick to self-change?
The answer is of course no. Change is not a simple matter. Sometimes, it cannot be changed because you don’t understand “elephant” and “elephant riding” and “elephant riding” .
From the above, what does the elephant "sensual self" rely the most?
is "Past Experience" .
elephant"Sensual self" When facing problems, what you usually adopt is past experience, because this method is the safest and there will be no errors.
And the people riding elephants "Rational Self" is now saying that past experiences are wrong, but whipping a whip is useless, as that will only make the elephant more and more manic.
Then, we need to create a new experience for the elephant to remember.
"New experience" and "old experience", they are like a pair of conservatives and radicals.
There is no need to fight to the death between them, but to reconcile each other.
"Sensuality" and "Rationality" are two indispensable parts of the human body, and have always been a mortal enemy.
And in the process of self-change, we must creatively reconcile this contradiction.
So what is the root of the contradiction?
is a conflict between the desire to change and the motivation to not change.
This is the difficulty of changing.
In fact, the essence of self-change is the process of learning from the old and new experiences, which is a process of self-creation.
creation means change and lose the deep-rooted old comfort zone. Loss is always closely linked to pain, and change is often accompanied by loss.
do nothing and cannot be changed to .
Because of this, people often say they want to change, but they still stop in place.
It is of course difficult to change yourself, because people will suffer, and no one is willing to bear the torture brought by pain.
From this we can imagine, if you try to change a person, how could it be even more difficult?
This is like, you are a kind robber. If you try to plunder other people's property and make them lose it, how can others be obedient?
Don't try to change others, because it's very difficult for you to change yourself.
says that in the end, , is difficult to change yourself, but as long as the contradiction between rationality and sensibility is reconciled and the strengths and weaknesses are learned from the old and new experiences, then change is also not impossible.
-The End-
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