Did you yell while tutoring your child for homework?
Has html depressed after being criticized by the leader?
Is there any joy when I receive a gift?
In our lives, emotions are everywhere, there are pain, happiness, joy, and sadness.
Emotions are the innate talent of each of us. Different emotions represent our different thinking patterns, which will affect our judgment and reasoning about things.
Anthony Robbins once said:
"The secret to success lies in knowing how to control the power of pain and happiness, and not being countered by this power. If you can do this, you can master your life. On the contrary, your life will not be mastered."
In the book "Emotions: Variables that affect scientific decision-making", the author introduced us to scientific knowledge about emotions through experimental research results such as Brain Science , Neuroscience , Biological Science , etc.
allows us to understand our emotions more, manage our emotions well, and ultimately achieve the leap from surrendering to controlling our emotions.
1. What is emotion?
Emotion is a general term for subjective cognitive experience, which is a person's attitude experience towards objective things and corresponding behavioral reactions. It is generally believed that emotions are a psychological activity.
This is also the definition of the word emotion in psychology. It sounds obscure and difficult to understand. We can also express it in simple common words.
For example, words such as happiness, excitement, anger, anxiety, depression, sadness, etc. are expressed, which is what we think of emotions.
2. Five characteristics of emotions
1. Value
0 Emotion has a certain value, is it positive or negative, whether it is chosen to escape or get close.
For example, when we see a snake on the side of the road, our emotions must be fearful at the time, and we will immediately choose to escape.
If you find a cute little rabbit while walking, you may immediately approach it and play with it for a while, and your mood will be a surprise at that time.
2. Continuous
Just like the example above, when we see a snake, we make an immediate escape, and we can't see the snake.
But this fear will not disappear immediately, and this fear and fear will continue for a while.
And for example, if your lover makes you angry, maybe this emotion may make you feel depressed all day long.
3. General
We may all understand that emotions are a reaction caused by a certain thing to our stimulus, but different stimuli will produce different reactions.
and the same thing may cause different reactions at different times.
For example, I was criticized by my leader at work today and was in a bad mood. After returning home, I saw that the house was in chaos and my husband was lying on the sofa to browse his phone. At this time, you might be furious at your husband.
If you are praised by your leader at work and see the same situation when you return home, you may just silently clean up the room and
4. Variability
If emotions are reflex behaviors made by a certain stimulus point, this emotion and reflex behaviors are also different, and the same stimulus reflex behaviors may be the same.
But emotions will be different. For example, if you are alone at home, there is a rustling sound outside the window. The same sound occurs at noon and midnight. At these two different time points, the emotional reactions you may make will be different.
5.Automatic
Emotions are sometimes the same as conditional emission and are automatically generated without relying on your intentions.
For example, if you are queuing up and someone suddenly comes to jump in line in front, you will definitely be very angry at that time, but we usually don’t quarrel with her. This is how we try to suppress our anger. This behavior is to manage our emotions.
3. How to manage our emotions well?
"Emotions: Variables that Influence Correct Decisions" This book teaches us three ways to manage emotions
1. Accepting
"Accepting" is the core method proposed by the Stoic school. For all bad painful emotions, accepting all the worst situations, focusing only on what you can do, and responding in a positive way can reduce a lot of emotional pain.
For example, when we wear masks every day, we will inevitably have some anxiety. If we accept our current state, we will close at home and read, write, and do some things we usually do when we are idle. The anxiety is gone.
2. Reevaluating
is to change the way of thinking about problems.
For example, when we got home, we saw that the house was in a mess, and my husband was lying on the sofa to browse the phone. When you got home, you were very angry.
We are here to evaluate this matter again. Maybe my husband has just arrived at home and is working very hard today. He was seen by me just sat down for a second.
He might have been busy making dinner just now, preparing to wait for me to go home for dinner, but he just hadn't had time to clean up.
3. Express
For negative emotions, it is better to be distracted rather than blocked. I have done a very good job in this. As long as I have bad emotions, I will chat with friends. When I say everything, most of the emotions disappear.
There are some friends who don’t like to communicate with others. In fact, you can try writing it down, just like writing a diary. When you are in a bad mood, write down the whole thing, so that your emotions can actually be relieved.
Emotions are part of human psychological tools, but everyone has individual differences. You will always hear people say that this person has a bad temper and that person is very gentle and easy to get along with. This is all obtained by everyone's different management of their emotions.
We should thank and cherish our emotions, fully understand our unique emotions, and have a self-awareness, we can effectively manage our emotions and truly use our emotions.
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