Text/HuaShe
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"People with inferiority complex may not necessarily be quiet, obedient, restrained, and unconfrontational. The expression of inferiority complex is various."
This is a passage written by Adler , the founder of Individual Psychology , in "Inferiority and Transcendence".
To illustrate the deep meaning of this passage, Adler gave an example.
A mother took her three children to the zoo. When she saw the lion, the three children felt "lower" because of their insignificance.
But their reaction is completely different.
One child was anxious to ask his mother to take him home, the other child kept comforting himself, and the last child asked his mother: "Can I spit at it?"
All three children are afraid, but due to different personal personalities, the way they show inferiority complex will be different.
Adler tells people through this case that we should not easily define inferiority complex easily. People who are not restrained must be inferior, and people who are arrogant must not be inferior.
So, how to tell if a person is inferior?
No matter how good people are at disguised, their inferiority will have similar manifestations. Generally speaking, people who have these manifestations in conversation are mostly due to their inner inferiority.
Love to show off
There is a topic on the Internet: What is the most contradictory person you have ever met?
answered @沪月 - I have met a sincere dummy.
says he is sincere, it is really sincere. He never lie in many things, he will say things directly, and he is not afraid of offending others. He seems to be open and honest.
But it took a long time to realize that the sincerity he brought to others was based on falsehood.
The other party always claims that he graduated from 211 and actually graduated from junior high school; he always says that he has a salary of 20,000 yuan, but he actually has no fixed job; he always says that his family bought a house for him, but in fact he rented an old house with others.
or even the money for partying was borrowed, and the money for treating others to dinner was borrowed. The reason for the exposure was that the debt collection company called it to his friend.
Take this person as an example. Except for many problems related to himself that deceived others, this person has almost never told any lies, and it seems very contradictory.
This contradiction actually stems from "lower self-esteem".
In "Inferiority and Transcendence", Adler's definition of inferiority is as follows:
"If a person feels powerless when facing a difficult problem, the resulting emotions are called inferiority complex."
Everyone does not like the feeling of "powerlessness", so some people pretend to be "capable" in order to cover up their inferiority, but they do not know that this pretending is exposing their powerlessness.
Confident people can face the past bravely and change the future through their own abilities; people with inferiority complex constantly decorate the past, and rely on showing off their strength to give people a high look.
It can be said that the more a person likes to show off in his words, it means how inferior he is.
often mocked
When I went out some time ago, I encountered an interesting thing.
At that time, two young men came in, one was about 180 and the other was only about 165.
Two people were talking about height issues. The 180 boy said, "I think it's the same no matter how tall I am. I don't feel anything else at this height." The boy of
165 immediately retorted, "That's different. You are a big stupid person. Once a man is tall, the center of gravity is unstable and his limbs are inconsistent, it is useless except for good looking."
elevator opens to the 23rd floor. After listening to a lot of discussions about heights by two people, there is only one conclusion: a boy of 165 must be inferior because of his height.
Adler's explanation of this phenomenon is: "Behind any behavior that is above others, there is a inferiority complex that needs to be hidden. exists."
There are always people who like to mock others.
When someone bought a house, he said that buying a house now means being cut off; when someone was promoted, he said that spending time on work means not understanding life; when someone else's marriage is good, he said that husband and wife are the most unreliable relationship now.
In the eyes of such people, it seems that things that others are proud of are a wrong choice.
This manifestation actually proves that a person’s inner inferiority complex is actually trying to prove himself by suppressing others in exchange for a temporary psychological balance.
is a confident person who does not point fingers at other people's lives and can fully accept himself, so he will not always focus his attention on others.
In the dedication of "Inferiority and Transcendence", there is a sentence: "Inferiority can destroy you, and can also make you successful. If you surpass yourself, you will become a stronger self in your heart."
The inferiority complex is a normal part of everyone's life, because everyone has something that is inferior to others and something that makes you dissatisfied.
However, smart people have overcome their inferiority complex and achieve themselves by changing their shortcomings. People who are tortured by inferiority complex may be depressed and give up on themselves.
It can be said that the gap between people is sometimes widened by the way of facing inferiority.
May we all learn to overcome inferiority, treat ourselves with the right attitude, and turn inferiority into motivation to move forward. "Inferiority and Transcendence" can give you such strength.
—END—
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