"I always feel that life is not what I want now, and I am not happy." A middle-aged man in his forties commented on his life like this. This man has a successful career and a happy family. He suffered from depression and for half a year. As he said, he has been unhappy.
Many people have this state, as if they are not bad in every aspect of their life, but they just feel that there are always some awkward things and always feel that they are not satisfactory.
Regarding this topic, I thought of a small story, and I shared it with you:
Three believers asked a respected old Zen master about the meaning of life, and said, "People say that Buddhism can relieve the pain of life, but we have been believers in Buddhism for many years, but we feel that we are not happy enough. What's going on?"
Zen master said to them earnestly: "It's not difficult to want a happy life. First of all, you must clarify the purpose of your life."
A first answered: "The purpose of living? I only know that death is a very terrible thing, so I must live."
B said, "I work hard now, just to enjoy a happy life full of food and a house full of children and grandchildren when I am old."
C finally answered: "I don't have the first two people." With such a high luxury, I must live, otherwise who will support the family? "
" Zen master smiled and said, "No wonder you can't get happiness. All you think of is death, old age and forced labor, rather than ideals, beliefs and the mentality of enjoying every moment of the moment. Of course, I feel that there is no happiness at all."
believers said in confusion: "Ideals, faith Thinking about and enjoying the mentality of every moment of the moment? Can that make people happy? "The Zen Master asked, "Then what do you think can make you happy?" A said, "With reputation, there is happiness." B said, "With love, there is happiness." C said, "You can only be happy with money." The Zen Master continued to ask, "But why many people are very troubled when they have reputation, but they are very painful when they have love, and they are very worried when they have money?" Believers are speechless.
Zen Master continued: "The mentality of ideals, beliefs and enjoying every moment of the present moment is not empty, but is reflected in people's lives every moment. Fame must serve the public in order to be happy; love must have a spirit of dedication to make sense; money must be given to the poor to be valuable. Only by enjoying every bit of what we have in life and cherishing such blessings can we obtain a happy life."
believers suddenly realized.
Just as this Zen master asked, "What can make yourself happy?" Now we might as well ask ourselves, "What can make me happy?" Many people will mention what those three believers say "reputation, love, money". Let's listen here and ask our hearts, can we really be happy after having these three things?
Maybe we have been in depression and anxiety for a while now, but this state must not be formed suddenly in a short period of time, but is caused by our long-term thinking pattern.
(It is recommended that friends with depression and anxiety go to see "Fighting Depression" and "Emotional Self-help")
Some of the friends who came to consult have worked hard to make money because they care too much about their status in their mother-in-law's house; some never dare to stop because they want to prove their value; some rely on their children and force them to become the ones they have not done.
When people's inner needs are not met and the fear and worry that are generated reach a level that cannot be loaded, people begin to get sick.
Therefore, when they face unemployment and worry about their in-laws' eyes, when they encounter difficulties and are forced to stop, when their children do not grow up as they expect, their bottom fear comes out, and with it, anxiety, depression and insomnia.
So, in their hearts, is "the ability to make money, personal value and expectations for children" the source of their happiness? In fact, it is not that what these bring them is not happiness, but more anxiety and insecurity. At the same time, they are also the carriers of anxiety and insecurity.
And those things that make us happy must be things that will make us feel relaxed and have aggravated happiness when we think of them. Obviously, the above ones are not.
Therefore, we must learn to see through these carriers. If we take them as the direction of our efforts, it will bring more anxiety and fear.
So, next we can think about what can really make us happy? What makes us feel joy and happiness when we think of it, which will make our mouths rise and our hearts warm?
My answer is: Sitting with your family for a dinner, it’s that simple.
So, what is your answer?
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