First point: Accept the child’s challenge to authority. Second point: We should provide children with adolescence sex education. The third point: accept the confusion that the child does not know who he is.

Today I will talk about the four psychological characteristics of adolescent children and the key points of parents’ discipline.

First point: accept the child’s challenge to authority. Second point: We should provide children with adolescence sex education. The third point: accept the confusion that the child does not know who he is. Fourth point: Parents should be willing to let their children suffer from grievances and sufferings.

Let’s first talk about the first and second points of , the problem of children challenging authority and adolescent sexual impulses.

Adolescent children will constantly challenge authority in various ways. Sometimes, under the stimulation of hormones, you will do very, very strong and extraordinary things. Let’s take a look at the Sun Wukong ’s big fuss in the Heavenly Palace. After reading it, you will know what’s going on.

Sun Wukong felt that Bima Wen was not very good, so he asked Jade Emperor to seal him as Monkey King , otherwise he would return to the heavenly court. In the end, the Jade Emperor agreed. But who would have thought that Sun Wukong would indeed make trouble, stealing the thousand-year-old peaches, drinking all the wine from the peach banquet, the gods came to beat the gods, the immortals came to retreat to the immortals, and make a big fuss in the Heavenly Palace until he was pressed under the Five Elements Mountain by , Tathagata Buddha, .

In fact, this story has several typical meanings that are worth learning from by our parents. One is that when the child reaches his fifteen or sixteen years old, he will love to compete and feel that he is particularly powerful and does not even take his parents seriously. Just like this Sun Wukong, he dared to think that even the emperor took turns to do it, but in fact they were not that powerful.

It is said that he is the biggest on Huaguoshan , and he can do whatever he likes. But Sun Wukong insisted that the Jade Emperor grant him a title of half a position, which shows that he is not confident and needs other people's affirmation.

Look at it again in our daily lives, our parents don’t understand why children lose their temper because of small things. The core here is that they want equal rights, so they start to challenge authority casually.

But the focus of parents' attention is exactly whether this matter makes sense. If both parties are not on the same channel, it will naturally be difficult to communicate about this issue.

When encountering this situation, we parents must continue to stick to our own opinions and let our children have their own ideas. Don't rush to convince them, children will learn life experiences in the process of blindly challenging authority and being frustrated.

Secondly, sexual awareness and impulsivity of adolescent children are major challenges for children at this stage. At this stage, the child’s physical development matures and begins to have sexual impulses. But their social roles and social tasks do not allow them to easily obtain sexual satisfaction.

guides young people to this source of life and becomes an important task for discipliners. This theory of peach blossom luck has a sexual symbolic meaning under the background of our Chinese culture.

Let’s talk about the fact that Sun Wukong stolen peaches and Adam stolen Eve stolen forbidden fruits, which have similar meanings. So how can we avoid pubertal children from eating forbidden fruits that affect their studies and even physical and mental health?

The best way is to actively and positively puberty sex education . This will reduce children's inexplicable worries and impulses.

So I will have a special article to introduce the sex education of adolescent children in the future.

Third point: accept the chaos of children not knowing who they are

During this period, fathers must be able to play their roles. As fathers must not only catch the rebellion of their children, but also set rules for them, and be good at guiding them.

Mythical characters all have symbolic meanings, such as Jade Emperor, Taibai Venus , Tathagata Buddha, etc. These are all symbols of the different functions of the father. The Jade Emperor and Taibai Jinxing asked Sun Wukong to be the Monkey King in the Heavenly Court, which symbolized that his father had caught the rebellion of adolescent children and guided them to integrate into society.

Some children will be too rebellious. At this time, as fathers, they must take out their authority and start discipline them. Just like the Buddha Tathagata, he pressed Sun Wukong, who made a big fuss in the Heavenly Palace, under the Five Elements Mountain.

Here we emphasize that discipline children is to guide them.Just like this, the Buddha of Tathagata sent someone to eat and drink for Sun Wukong, who was suppressed, so that he could reflect and wait for the opportunity.

Look at our traditional Chinese tutoring. What do we pay attention to? It is a strict father and a kind mother. Strictness is to set rules for children and give them psychological nutrition. Children from such families are less likely to have problems.

There is an indisputable fact in life now, that is, in many family education, father is absent. Mothers who discipline their children alone may be too spoiled or very strict.

The former can easily make the child become a mama boy or have some princess disease. The result of the latter may be that the girl becomes a tomboy and the boy becomes a pseudo-woman.

So parents and friends, when your child has problems, you must not just focus on the child's symptoms, but should develop a macro-holistic thinking. It is very important to check or reflect on whether there is any problem in the family. Then we will share with you what is good family education in the future.

The incident of making trouble in the Heavenly Palace also tells us parents a truth, that is, the more oppressed the adolescent children become, the more rebellious they are. Anyone who messes with me will definitely fight back.

is also true in real life. You see, the rebellion of a child is more complicated than Sun Wukong's fight and killing. Because not only does he manifest himself as contradicting his parents' visible style, he can also manifest this rebellion as an invisible undercurrent. For example, if you don’t talk to you today, you will go home and close the door, run away from home, etc.

Sun Wukong made a big fuss in the Heavenly Palace and paid a heavy price. It also explains a truth, that is, he will not know each other without fighting. Sun Wukong has also accumulated a lot of connections and influence in the world. This is actually a truth that hides positive resources.

Later, I will also share with you some detailed sharing on social topics of adolescent children.

How should parents guide the chaos of adolescent children?

Usually, if we say who do you think you are, this is accusation. But if you don’t know who adolescent children are, it refers to a unique psychological characteristic of children of this age group. doesn’t know what kind of is , and what kind of people want to be .

Journey to the West talks about the fact that the five elements are calm down. As the saying goes, the idiom "distracted mind" means "a three-minded mind and two-minded mind, and you cannot do anything decent. Just like Sun Wukong at this time.

Then you can look at our children. When they are sixteen or seventeen years old, they always want to do something, but their experience, ability, and willpower are still relatively inappropriate, so they cannot do anything decent.

But no matter what, just like Sun Wukong, with Tang Sanzang , a new chapter in his life doing serious things was opened. That is to let the children at this time say goodbye to the game and start doing serious things.

Then, as parents, we should pay attention to the following aspects. Children have grown taller and older, and boys have become more muscled. Now they are not only willing to show themselves, but also begin to have strength. Especially some boys who take action are not light or heavy, and they even attack their parents.

Parents should not be annoyed by their excessive behavior. When children get angry, the most effective way for parents is to control their emotions and deal with them coldly.

The fourth point : Parents should be willing to let their children suffer grievances and sufferings

During this period of adolescence, many children began to face the high school entrance examination, what high school students are going to go to, what college students are going to go to, and what major they are going to go to. Some children will have their own clear goals.

But most children actually don’t know what they really like and what their strengths are. So parents started to analyze for their children. will then let these children make some choices, and this process repeatedly .Young people don't have sex, and confirming will make parents very anxious .

I would like to remind you that you must avoid overly tough planning for your children’s major and future career.

The famous American psychologist Eriksen once said that this stage is a chaotic period of adolescence, and adolescence is equivalent to a crisis. Most children will calm down after after hiccups, and will be scheming.

There is a university in the United States that after confirming the admission of students, they will allow their children to vacate a year. What should they do? The child will participate in social welfare activities, travel, and get in touch with them. He did not go to college immediately.

Although we in China do not have such a trend, through this incident, we can understand that when a child at the age of sixteen or seventeen begins to truly face his future major and career, confusion is inevitable.

It is the tossing of children's youth that gives them the courage, will, ability and confidence to explore society. Parents remember to be willing to give up on the grievances and setbacks that their children may encounter.

Children who enter puberty are just like Sun Xingzhe . Walking on the road means constantly practicing. When Sun Xingzhe was in the early stage of his pursuit of scriptures, he fought monsters to death. When he was criticized for stealing ginseng fruits, he wanted to go back to Huaguo Mountain. Later, Sun Wukong became more conscientious. What does

mean? It means that after so many ignorant, impulsive and rebellious things in front, I have begun to mature gradually.

We use the symbolic meaning of the tight hoop on Sun Wukong's head to make a summary:

1. Parents must pay attention to purpose in discipline and avoid venting their emotions. Guanyin Bodhisattva When he gave Tang Monk a headband, he made a special explanation, saying that he should make the demon better, and emphasized the purpose of using it. Sun Wukong A dozen Bone Demon , Tang Monk chants the spell of tight hoop . It feels like he is venting his own 's emotions in . Reality Life In , some parents are always overwhelmed by their emotions . This is not the method to discipline good children.

2. Tang Monk recites the tight hoop curse, which is also a typical symbol of parents' nagging. There is a popular saying in society, say important things three times. Then, when educating children, no matter how important it is, I would like to remind you not to say it three times, otherwise the children will have a headache. They won't listen, no matter what you say or what you are wrong.

3. After successfully obtaining the scriptures, the tight curse on Sun Wukong's head was also removed, which means that no one needs to worry about it. Cultivate children to be themselves, manage themselves, and be responsible for themselves. This is the truly successful education.

Let’s review Sun Wukong’s experience, from the naughty and active time to the self-satisfied Monkey King, from the anxious life and death Sun Wukong to the overestimating Bimawen, and then to the overconfident Monkey King, the suffering and suffering, and to the self-consciously autonomous Sun Xingzhe, who finally succeeded and achieved fame.

In fact, this process tells us that no one’s success is casual. Anyone who can withstand the storm must be an independent person with a rebellious personality.

As parents, if they see their children's future with enough height, have enough thickness to carry their children's rebellion, and have enough breadth to lead their children to explore. Then no matter whether it is the wind and rain, I walk in the garden. After

, I will share with you the Tao and techniques of discipline with you through stories and cases on the most troublesome pain points for parents of adolescent children. See you all.