I want to spend my time outside of work studying, but I always watch TV shows and watch videos. I want to make healthy and delicious meals myself, but I always order takeaway. I want to take training courses on weekends, but I always get up late.
I want to grow, I want to change, but I can't do it. Why is this? What is preventing me from changing? What causes what I think and do further and further? What is changing our behavior?
When I was puzzled, I saw this book "Control Change: From Want to Real Change" (hereinafter referred to as "Control Change"). The book says that the opponent that hinders your change may be in your brain, which may be forgetfulness, lack of self-confidence, laziness, or temptation.
Author [US] Katie Millkoman, Professor of Wharton School of Business, University of Pennsylvania. Cooperate with or provide consultation for many organizations in order to promote positive changes, including Google , US Department of Defense, American Red Cross , "24-hour fitness" chain, Walmart, Morningstar, etc.
"Control Change" tells us that we should first identify the obstacles to change, especially the seven major human weaknesses that come from human nature: timing, impulse, procrastination, health, laziness, confidence, and role models, which illustrate how to achieve transformation through strategies to overcome weaknesses.
Targeting these weaknesses, adjusting strategies in a targeted manner and mastering the science of behavioral change, and changing is not difficult. For example, choose the appropriate time to change, delay satisfaction, and optimistic expectations.
1. Find the time to change
We all know that it is very difficult to change existing habits, so we should not compete with old habits. We can find the time to establish new habits. You can break the original living habits and ways of thinking by changing the environment.
For example, moving, changing jobs, etc. These opportunities allow us to start from scratch and take these important moments as the starting point for change. We actively seek opportunities to take advantage of other changes in our lives, re-examine what is most important to us, and build new habits.
We are more likely to accept changes when we feel that we are at a new starting point. In fact, we don’t want to try to change, sometimes just because it’s difficult. Many times, change always requires multiple attempts to succeed, and we must constantly look for opportunities for change.
2. Delayed satisfaction
The biggest obstacle to our failure to make changes is that doing the "right" things often makes people feel unsatisfied in the short term. It’s comfortable to read books and learn without watching TV shows. In order to satisfy our current taste buds, we ordered takeout but forgot about our health.
satisfy the current feeling and forget the long-term goal. This is the weakness of most people and the resistance on the road to change. As long as we understand that instead of expecting the result of change, we can really take action to change.
Find a way to make the change process interesting. If you think carefully, it is not difficult to find that every task is hidden. As long as you find out the fun and realize that the process of change is a game, you can make continuous changes.
3. Optimistic expectations
When people do not believe that they have the ability to change, they will not make great progress in change. Because our expectations will affect the outcome of behavior, your expectations determine your gains.
People's expectations will affect what actually happens, because beliefs will change our emotions, guide our attention, change our motivations, and directly affect our physiology.
For example, when you listen to a class, you tell yourself from the beginning that you must gain something. You will feel that this teacher is what you need, so if you listen carefully, you will get what you want.
Believe that you can do it, and you will be half successful. "Everyone does this" should not be an excuse to do bad things.We are all trying to make our actions worthy of our goals. Discover the weaknesses that hinder your progress, overcome them with all your might, and become what you want in your heart.
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