Hello, Teacher Lian, I accidentally saw your article. I was so wise to analyze and answer various questions. It touched the depths of my heart and helped us clarify the self that we cannot perceive.

Hello, Teacher Lian, (maybe you are younger than me, please follow everyone’s name)

accidentally saw your article, and analyzed and answered various questions so wisely. It touched the depths of the soul and helped us clarify the self that we could not perceive. I really hope you can receive my letter and help me answer my questions.

Let me explain to you my basic situation first: a female, 48 years old this year, lives in a small city, is a high school biology teacher. I am over 50 years old and now I am having a problem. If I leave my comfort zone, I will continue to choose to "struggle" like a young man.

From outsiders, I seem to have a perfect life. I have a steady and elegant husband, who is a leader, a son who is already an adult and is preparing for civil servant exams, and has his own job and has been promoted to a senior professional title (this is the top in the teaching industry). But as I had free time, my wish when I was young began to emerge slowly. After getting married, in order to support my lover's work, he was very busy at work in the government office. I took care of all the children's housework, and it didn't hold him back at all. At that time, due to the extremely shortage of teachers in my subjects and a lot of workload, I took more than 20 classes a week, which lasted for more than ten years. Later, the teacher increased and the workload returned to normal. However, the children's education could not be relaxed and they were still busy. When I was 40 years old, I got a disease due to overwork and recovered after a year of treatment in the hospital. I didn't feel free until my child went to college. During my work, due to work needs, I studied psychology by myself and got the National Psychological Counselor qualification certificate. I worked part-time in my spare time, but I didn’t have many clients.

My current life is to go to school, dance and exercise in my spare time, learn calligraphy to cultivate sentiment, it feels a bit like the old age life, and I always feel that there is still something missing. I plan to prepare for my life after retirement. One direction is to continue my in-depth exploration of psychology and do psychological work after retirement. After all, this has a certain foundation; the other is to prepare for the judicial examination , which was my wish when I was young. I was a lawyer (at that time, my work and life were too busy and I couldn't take it to realize it and put it aside). But this did not have any foundation.

This is what I am confused now, should I still "torm"? Which direction should I choose? I retired at the age of 55 and retired within a few years. Now I am definitely not as physically and energetic as I was young. In addition, I became sick due to fatigue and I was worried that my body would not be able to bear it. It seems that it is a good thing to spend my old age in a stable and leisurely manner.

Looking forward to you clearing the fog for me from a higher level of cognition and making a choice. Thank you sincerely!

trusts your readers very much

trusts your readers very much:

I am still a few years older than you.

Chinese people have entered a long-lived society, with centenarians abounding, and the proportion will be higher and higher. Many people have just finished halfway through their lives when they retire. How to arrange the next half of your life is very important. Not doing anything after retirement and being idle is not only a huge waste, but also more likely to get sick and get more trouble.

There are thousands of choices about what to do after retirement, which may be dazzling. However, there are not many principles of choice. If you understand this principle thoroughly, it will not be difficult to make a choice.

First, we need to straighten out the timeline and find positioning in the relationship between four generations. Which four generations? If you have a couple, you have entered the last time of your life, and you need more company and more care. After retirement, we cannot take care of ourselves and forget them. I have children under me who may have just grown up and not been working for a while. They run on the way and cannot stop. They start a family, start a career, become the backbone of society, and the pressure continues to grow. Especially this generation of only children, there are multiple elderly people on the top and after giving birth, there are multiple children on the bottom, as if the waist of the hourglass is large at both ends and small in the middle, but both starts, leads, turns and turns must pass through this thin waist.The burden on your children will continue to increase in the twenty or thirty years after you retire. You must worry about your health and raise your children to adulthood. Until your grandchildren are independent, their burden will not become lighter. At that time, they were in their 50s and you were in their 80s. To straighten out the timeline, the first principle after retirement is established: you cannot put pressure on your child, you can only reduce stress on your child.

Decompression is achieved through two aspects:

First, healthy decompression. The better the parents are, the lighter the burden on their children. Just like some elderly people now refuse to get the vaccine , which greatly increases their risk of infection and death during the epidemic, and the pressure on children is extremely huge. After retirement, I will manage my health and well, just help my children. From this point of view, it is not advisable to do a lawyer's business. Lian Tai has been a lawyer for more than ten years. I know that a responsible lawyer is overdrawn with physical and mental exhaustion all year round. We must not only work all night long, but also face the anxiety, irritability, and even dark emotions of the parties involved. She was very tired of it later, and I also urged her to change her career for health. She has now cancelled the lawyer certificate , and it has been completely destroyed. Retired personnel should not enter any high-intensity working state. Work at this time is a adjustment of life, not a struggle. When adjusting, it is beneficial to health. If you can't fight against the young, your body will collapse again and you will only lose but not win. If you lose health, your child will have to take care of you more.

The second is financial stress relief. Generally speaking, if you have a house to live in when you retire, your children will grow up, and you will have some accumulations, and you will have a pension in hand, making your life comfortable. I am afraid that I want to get rich at this time, and my finances are very radical. As a result, I lose some money in my business and invest in various ways. I lose all my life savings and even have debts. This financial hole has to be filled by my children. After retirement, you must be conservative in finances and not touch any risks. Keeping wealth for yourself means keeping blessings for your children. Kong Fuzi says that the risk of old age is greedy. Whether it is greed for fame or profit, once greed, you will lose the happiness of generations.

Healthy, safe and calm, living to at least 80 years old is your first job after retirement.

Happy.