A Henan girl Pengpeng (formerly named Zhaodi) saw in the fourth and fifth grades of elementary school, she saw the same name as hers as hers in a rural novel, which made her understand the meaning of her name for the first time - "It turned out that she wanted me to recruit a younger brother."
After that, the inferiority caused by the name was like a shadow. She has a good academic performance since childhood, but she is always afraid of commendation meetings, afraid that others will pronounce her own name, and afraid of self-introduction.
The trouble caused to Pengpeng by an overly straightforward name has also appeared on other girls with similar names.
The number of "Zhaodi" is not small. Taking the duplicate data found by a certain province in China on the national government service platform as an example, as of October 24, there were at least 11,104 women named "Zhaodi" and "Zhaodi" in the province.
"What will others think of me when they hear my name?" "Am I unpopular or blessed?" "Why am I a girl?" This is a question that some girls who were given similar names began to think about since adolescence. They have more or less thought about changing their names, but at that time, the economy was not independent, and the restrictions on changing their names were very strict, and it has not been implemented for a long time.
The Civil Code , which officially came into effect on January 1, 2021, has changed its regulations on name change, which has become an opportunity for many people, including Pengpeng to change their names.
In the summer of the same year, after a strict and "internal friction" process, 20-year-old Pengpeng bid farewell to "Zhaodi" and had a new name.
waited for a few weeks, and when (the name changed) came down, she was not very excited, but felt a sense of unreality, thinking: "Wow, I finally don't need to call that name in the future. I feel relieved, and I am reborn, as if I am finally myself."
On the social platform, a girl named "Yingdi" shared her experience of changing her name.
"Zhaodi" and
In August this year, a girl named "Yingdi" shared photos of her ID card before and after her name change on a social platform, which became a hot search. She wrote: "At first glance, my name is a product of favoring boys over girls. I finally changed my name before the age of 30. Although it is difficult and difficult, everything is worth it."
Under this post, many netizens commented that names like "Yingdi" and "Zhaodi" with the mark of the times are not limited to the previous generation, but some young girls will also be given such names by their parents, or express their parents' wishes for boys in a more obscure way, such as "Zhuan'er" or "Changnan".
As of October 24, taking a province in China as an example, on the national government service platform, 11,104 women named this name can be retrieved. Among the women named "Zhaodi", 380 are under the age of 20.
Enter the keyword "Wang Zhaodi" "Wang Zhaodi" on the national government service platform. A certain province can find 1,348 people with names, and women account for 100%.
According to statistics, the most women over the age of 60 are called "Zhaodi" and "Zhaodi", and the number is sharply reduced in the age group of "50-60 years old". Overall, the number of people calling the above two names decreases with age group.
Peng Peng is one of the post-00s girls named "Zhaodi".
When she was in elementary school, she was confused and felt that her name was different from others; when she was in the fourth or fifth grade, she read her name "Zhaodi" for the first time in a book by a local writer, without the word "Female" next to the word "Female". , very straightforward. She found that "Zhao Di" originally wanted her to call her a younger brother.
Originally, Pengpeng's father gave her another name, "Chenxu", "Chenxu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", "Xu", finally used this.
Pengpeng said that before she could grow up, her grandfather passed away, and she could not ask her in person why. When she heard her grandmother's memory, when she named her, her grandmother thought that maybe she might add a "female" to "Xu", after all, it was a girl. Grandpa said, no, the meaning of "Xu" was not good, "Xu" means dowry mothers.
This made her feel even more uncomfortable. Grandpa graduated from high school and was considered an educated intellectual. He knew the meaning of "Xu", but gave her such a name.
Peng's grades were OK when he was a student, but he was always afraid of commendation meetings, afraid of calling out or introducing himself at the meeting, and afraid that someone would ask humorously after listening to her name: "Do you have a younger brother?"
is not just a classmate, but sometimes teachers will ask similar questions. She knew that the other party might not have malicious intentions, but she still felt uncomfortable. She was very inferior to her name and did not want it to be exposed to the public eye.
When he was thirteen or fourteen years old, Pengpeng was extremely sensitive. She said that after the awakening of self-awareness, she began to be ashamed to actively communicate with others to avoid self-introduction. She would block herself and spend more time online because no one on the Internet knows what her name is.
"Mom said this is a bit pretentious and made a big deal, but I just feel this way," she said.
Pengpai News reporter noticed that among the groups who are inferior because of their names, "Zhaodi" and "Zhaodi" account for a considerable proportion.
Weibo netizen "Change Name Teacher Nie" told the Pengpai News reporter that his full-time job is to name and change people through the Internet, and more names are than naming, and women change their names because they prefer boys over girls.
He mentioned that in many places, parents want their sons and will get the eldest daughter's name in a more purposeful way. For example, Zhaodi actually wanted to recruit a younger brother. The word "子" is not so good-looking, so she simply used this Di.
"Zhaodi" cannot attract younger brothers, and there may be "Pandi" and "Niandi" in the future, and they will continue to call each one. "Many girls who come to change their names feel unfair and don't like their names." He said that parents gave the name "Zhaodi" without considering whether their children like it or whether they are willing to bear this responsibility.
He believes that parents hope their children are good, and it is beyond reproach to reflect them in their names, but if the child’s name is given a certain effect, it will change its taste. Many children with this kind of name will instinctively reject their names. They can feel that parents who prefer boys over girls do not value her, and even feel that their arrival is wrong and redundant.
Expectations and pressures
"The Chinese people's names are a mirror that reflects society." Associate researcher Ren Xiaopeng, Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences, has done related research.
He and student Su Hong talked about the article "Psychological Effects of Names: Evidence from the Individual Level and Group Level" published by "Handler 2 Psychological Science Advances " that names can not only affect individual psychology and behavior, but also reflect the group's cultural psychology and preferences.
"When this girl is named, it actually reflects the values of his parents." Ren Xiaopeng said that whether it is because of boyishness over girls, or influenced by local customs and clan concepts, starting from giving a person a name, it reflects the expectations of the naming person, either hoping that the child will be ranked first and forthcoming, or hoping that the child will grow up safely, or hoping that the child will be very beautiful.
Some parents may value boys the most and must express such expectations through naming. This expectation is not so mainstream, and the names given are a bit alternative, and they do not respect the children themselves very much.
He said that from an individual perspective, the influence of names on individuals varies greatly, and the negative impact does not necessarily come from the name itself, but may also come from multiple factors such as the family behind it.
From a group perspective, names like "Zhaodi" do have negative effects. "If we are not observing one person, but a group of people, these rather peculiar names often bring some pressure to their masters in interpersonal activities."
Peng in adolescence will relieve the embarrassment by self-deprecating.
At first, when someone asked her for her name, she didn't speak, she laughed, and then replied, "Of course there is (brother)." Pengpeng said, "It's self-deprecating, of course there is one, otherwise what is the meaning of my name?"
As of the time before changing the name, she had a "pathological obsession" with the name.
Peng Peng likes ancient poems. Whenever he reads a poem he likes, he will think about which words can be used as a name; she will think about the meaning of each person, place, and company name she meets word by word, and even if she sees the names of the characters in the book or the names of brands on the street, she will seriously think about their meaning.
She is also persistent in comparing her name with her peers. Whenever she arrives in a new environment, the first thing she has to do is to list everyone's list and see if there are any "as ugly names" as her. But she found that few people were ugly than her name, and many people's names were the same as the names carefully named for the characters in the novels she wrote. "I really envious."
Peng Peng was originally extroverted and liked to make friends, but during his adolescence, he didn't dare to make friends very much. But later he gradually became excited and felt that except for this name, everything else was excellent. He gradually became confident, but he was still afraid of occasions that needed to introduce himself.
A post-00s girl named "Daidi" told The Paper that when facing this name, she felt more "willing". She could feel her parents' determination to want her younger brother since she was a child. She was once jealous of her younger brother who had not yet arrived, but after her parents really gave birth to her younger brother, she would still take part of the responsibility as her name hoped.
She also had the impulse to change her name, but in the end she hesitated. On the one hand, it is because of the triviality in the program and is afraid that I can’t make it successful. On the other hand, I feel that my parents are okay with me in other aspects other than naming, and I don’t want to have an unhappy relationship.
On the interactive section of the official website of a local government in Guangdong, a woman named "Qundi" also expressed the troubles caused by her name.
In her message, she said that she submitted an application for name change at the local police station. She submitted it twice from 2020 to 2021, but was rejected for different reasons. She was rejected for two months after waiting. "Because of the psychological harm and psychological impact caused by the name from childhood to adulthood, (I) was diagnosed with severe depression by the Municipal People's Hospital around June 2021," she said.
Behind the name "Zhaodi" is a family that prefers boys over girls.
Ren Xiaopeng said that in the past few decades, the phenomenon of favoring boys over girls has weakened, but it still exists. Using the idea of favoring boys over girls in naming is a relatively rare and relatively extreme situation.
He mentioned that as a person's label, the name reflects the blessings or expectations of parents, and it will also inspire people's stereotypes . Especially in the early stages of interpersonal communication, when others know less about the owner of the name, they often think about the meaning of the owner of the name, and intentionally or unintentionally speculate on certain characteristics of the owner of the name, and a name like Zhaodi may inspire some negative comments.
On the other hand, if a person does not like his name, it will also affect her/him’s sense of happiness.
is the psychological " expectation effect ". After parents give their children's names a certain meaning, they will also intentionally or unintentionally highlight this tendency in the process of their children's growth and education. From the perspective of the children, they also have an internalized process of whether they like the name. After knowing their parents' expectations of themselves, children will regard this expectation as an important goal.
For example, a girl named "Zhaodi" may particularly like boys, but "Zhaodi" herself is a girl. Before adulthood, they need to rely on the environment provided by their parents. Based on the concepts instilled by the original family for a long time, they may have gender disagreement, and for this long-term negative impact, intervention and change will be more difficult.
Opportunity
Ren Xiaopeng suggested that if you don’t like your name, you can try to give this name a positive meaning.
He gave an example. In the movie "The Fantasy Drifting of the Boy Pi", the protagonist's name is homophonic with "pee", which will make people feel unpleasant. However, when pi explains his name to others, he associates it with pi "π", which becomes a unique symbol. This is actually a strategy: to obtain positive feedback by giving the name a positive imagination.
Another strategy is to change the name."Zhaodi's choice to change his name reflects a positive attempt by this generation. If he feels that the name makes him unhappy, then try to change it or obtain positive meaning," he said.
For Pengpeng, changing his name has always been her firm wish, and after graduating from high school, she began to make relevant preparations.
"Changing the name requires great determination. It not only requires persuading the police station police, but also requires mental preparation for facing all kinds of troubles. If you just want to change it, you may regret it halfway." She said.
Before this, the Civil Law’s provisions on changing names underwent some changes. The provisions on the right to name in the " General Principles of the Civil Law of the People's Republic of China " which came into effect on January 1, 1987 are: "Citizens have the right to name, have the right to decide, use and change their names in accordance with regulations, and prohibit others from interfering, using, or counterfeiting."
" Civil Code of the People's Republic of China ", which officially came into effect on January 1, 2021, have changed the provisions on the right to name to "natural persons enjoy the right to name, and have the right to decide, use, change or permit others to use their names in accordance with the law, but they must not violate the public order and good customs of ", and have removed the "according to regulations" and changed to "according to law".
2021, during the summer vacation of freshman year to sophomore year, Pengpeng caught up with the opportunity to revise the Civil Code.
"I did most of my notebook homework." Pengpeng said that she searched for a lot of information on social platforms and the Internet. When she remembered it, she wrote it in a mobile phone memo and prepared a set of "talk", including how to deal with the household registration police, what legal provisions involved, the template for the name change, and what real-name changes to other personal information will be involved after the name change, such as ID cards, bank cards, academic records, medical insurance, etc.
did not take too long to go through the name change procedures, and the procedures were completed in three or four days, but the process of persuading the police was difficult. Pengpeng said that those three or four days were very painful, and he went to the police station six or seven times, and was constantly consuming internal energy. "I was wondering what if the name was not changed well? Do I have to always support this name in the future?"
police asked her why she changed her name. Pengpeng said that his name was Zhaodi, which reflected the idea of favoring boys over girls, which violated social order and good customs. But the other party said that it is difficult to change the name now, and it will be very troublesome after changing the name. In addition, the reason for changing the name is not good, there are no insulting words in the name, so there are many people calling this name, which is a very normal name.
"When he said that this name was nothing, I was actually a little angry. They all said that your reason must be approved in the end. They couldn't understand me, and even thought I was pretentious and made a big deal." Pengpeng said.
After that, she also submitted various materials such as marriage certificate , and printed relevant legal provisions and sent them to relevant staff. "This process has been grinding, but it doesn't matter, I'm mentally prepared in advance."
is not the only one who wants to take this opportunity to change the name.
On People's Daily " Leadership Message Board ", in August 2021, a girl named "Laidi" left a message: "As you can see, this name is not good. You know at first glance that I have a parent who prefers boys over girls, and my birth has not received blessings from my relatives."
She said that since she knew the meaning of the name, she has been depressed every day. She hates her name and her birth, and believes that her appearance is despised by her relatives. "I have wanted to change my name since I was an adult, but I have been rejected repeatedly..." She said that she learned that the Civil Code had been implemented this year, so she applied for a name change to the police station again on June 18.
The local public security bureau replied under the message that the police station is handling the issue of changing the name.
new name
Pengpeng waited for more than 20 days from submitting the name change application to approval.
Pengpeng remembers that the final name change approval was August 21, 2021. The next day she went to the police station to take photos of her new ID card. As a result, when she came down, she was not very excited, but instead felt a sense of inreality. She thought to herself, “Wow, I finally don’t need to call that name anymore. I feel relieved and reborn in Nirvana, as if I am finally myself."
Peng Peng changed the name "Zhaodi"
She sent this message to her Moments and QQ space , and many friends around her were happy for her.
" They can also understand the troubles caused to me by the original name. "Pengpeng said that for a long time, her original name gave her the feeling of "I am not popular, I am not favored, and I am not worthy of having a name of my own". When communicating with others, she would also think: "Will they dislike me?" Could you just maintain superficial politeness with me? "
She said that this feeling was relieved after changing her name, "even breathing was refreshing." After changing her name, Pengpeng's parents were also surprised. Since elementary school, she has repeatedly asked her parents to change their names, but her parents did not pay much attention at that time, and they might have tried hard but had no results. Later, she simply stopped mentioning it and wanted to change it by herself when she had the ability in the future. When she decided to change her name, her parents did not believe that she could succeed, and also informed her of the difficulties and troubles that might be encountered in changing her name.
"I won't blame my parents, and they didn't owe me at first. "Pengpeng said, but she still felt a little wronged. Why do others have such a nice name?
Pengpeng also has a younger brother and sister. Her younger sister is 7 years younger than her and her younger brother is 9 years younger than her. She said that she has a good relationship with her younger brother, after all, this name is not chosen by her younger brother.
In addition to the name, Pengpeng felt that her family was similar to other families. She did not explicitly favor boys over girls, but there was still a hidden favor boys over girls. "Parents may think it is fair to them, but a certain sentence inadvertently reveals the meaning of favoring boys over girls. The speaker is unintentionally, and the listener is intentional. Just like when my grandfather gave me this name, he probably didn't expect so many things to happen later. "
In her eyes, not only her family, but most (families with many children) have a hidden preference for boys over girls, especially in the distribution of houses, assets and the concept of child support.
Ren Xiaopeng also mentioned that it should be noted that many people attribute negative emotions to names, but in fact they may not be all because of names. Just like Zhaodi's negative emotions, partly come from names, and partly from the original family. Most families who give children such names have a tendency to favor boys over girls, and the time and resources invested in boys and girls may also be tilted. These factors are combined to the children.
Pengpeng said that her situation is not worth mentioning compared to families that really favor boys over girls. "At least, there is no more complex things involved in my life. Before that, I was very happy, and I don't know about it later, let's talk about it. "
Her new name is more casual. At that time, she heard her mother's words and asked someone to look at it. "The other party gave me a few words, and I chose two to form the combination I like. I like the meaning of the new name very much. It means lush water and grass, and it feels like it is born towards the sun. "
She said that she doesn't like soft names very much. She thinks that gender should not be limited by tags. People can be roses in greenhouses or pine and cypress in the sun.
Source: The Paper
Original title: When "Zhaodi" decided to change the name
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