0 people take paternity test reports, how many tragedies will occur?
DNA David, a paternity tester, has been doing this job for 15 years. According to case data statistics from 2007 to 2019, he has conducted more than 20,000 paternity tests in total, and the results of non-paternity tests have stabilized at 26%-29%.
In other words, 20% of people will face inner entanglement and pain after getting the results.
In the past ten years, about 4,000 families have had their marriages on shaky ground because of a certificate of appraisal. And David is also nicknamed the "marriage destroyer".
The paternity test revealed the big lie
David can understand the anxiety and collapse of the family members after receiving the report, because he himself has experienced a relationship of betrayal.
David and his ex-girlfriend had been together for eight years, but unfortunately, when they were about to get married, he found that his girlfriend had been ambiguous with her ex. When
first discovered it, David was sad for a long time. He told his girlfriend: "If you still miss that person, then go find him." However, the woman insisted that she didn't, and David discovered the clues again and again after that.
It is not easy to break up the relationship of these 8 years. There is a concept in economics called " sunk cost ". People will always affect their current decisions because of their past investments.
Isn’t this the case with feelings? David has gone through a lot with his girlfriend and is used to the lifestyle with her by his side, so breaking up is really a difficult decision for him.
Because he has had such an experience, David can also sympathize with the families who receive bad news at work.
He believes: "A person who has been deceived has the right to know the truth. You have been deceived so miserably by others. It would be so miserable if you still don't know the truth."
Over the past ten years, David has seen too many families come and go:
Some breathed a sigh of relief after getting the results and repaired old relationships; some broke down and cried, and even took action on the spot; some were calm and composed after learning the truth and made up their minds to end it all.
Paternity test is also a test of human nature. Many people believe that it is a protection for men. But in fact, there are also many women who take the initiative to come for testing, hoping to clear up the fog in their hearts.
Women who have been deceived also have the right to get answers that make them confused and painful.
After the results of a report came out, David called a female client who submitted the test anonymously to remind her to sign for the results.
But on the other end of the phone, there were angry curses. Obviously, the client cannot accept such a result, or wants to paralyze himself.
Previously, the female client had a pregnant belly and was determined to get a prenatal test, and she did it three times in total.
It turned out that she and her husband had been married for many years, but they had never been able to conceive a child. The couple both went for a check-up, and after learning that the probability of pregnancy was very low, they decided to try IVF.
But this method didn’t seem to work very well. After two attempts at in vitro fertilization failed, the two almost gave up. Unexpectedly, when she was desperate, her husband encouraged her to try the third test tube, and it was successful.
Although the happy event has come, my wife has always had doubts in her heart. Because when the couple was undergoing in vitro fertilization, the husband’s uncle and father-in-law frequently came to the house. Moreover, the three of them often discuss something quietly in the room behind their backs.
She had a strange feeling in her heart. Could it be that the child was not her husband's? The most direct verification method for
is to do identification. She got her husband's nails, added her own venous blood, and sent them anonymously to the agency for verification. The first time the results came out, it turned out that the child was not her husband’s.
This information was like a thunderbolt to the female client. Later, she wanted to find out the truth, so she sent her uncle and father-in-law's examination materials again. The final result of
showed that the biological father of the child turned out to be the father-in-law!
The truth is revealed. The couple had been married for many years but still failed to conceive. The problem lay with the man. The female client’s husband suffers from azoospermia, but he dare not tell his wife. After two test tube failures, he began to hide it from his wife and colluded with the hospital to use his father-in-law's sperm.
In the end, the female client chose to endure the humiliation, pretend that nothing had happened, and continue to live a peaceful life with her husband.
Paternity testing can only expose the scam directly, but at the juncture of human nature, how to make a choice can only be left to the parties concerned to think about.
Paternity test detects moral decay
People who can continue to maintain the appearance of pain after knowing the truth may need to have greater courage. Because if you continue to live with the person next to you who wears a mask, you will have to endure more than just heartache.
One day, David received a strange guest. The sample he brought for inspection turned out to be a handful of dog hair.
David was very embarrassed. He tactfully explained to the client that humans and dogs cannot have children, but the client still insisted on having an identification.
The man told David that his wife suffered from a serious dog fetish. The child was born with yellow hair. He was frightened by this scene. Apparently he did not have such a gene. The reason why
is so persistent is because this gentleman once saw his wife in a miserable state.
One day when he went home to pick up things during work hours, he opened the door and saw his wife having sex with the family's golden retriever on the bed. The wife did not expect that her husband would come back, so she put on her clothes in a panic and knelt in front of him to beg for forgiveness.
The man knew that his wife's native family was unfortunate. She was often beaten when she was a child. The closest person to her at that time was a golden retriever . So later on, my wife always liked raising golden retrievers, and she developed more and more special feelings for dogs. But she didn't expect that she couldn't help but do such a thing.
That time, he chose to forgive and took his wife for psychological counseling. In the following period, my wife's behavior did not appear strange again.
Later, the child was born. Seeing the child's appearance, the gentleman's heart collapsed. He secretly came to the paternity testing agency to submit for testing, trying to find out the situation. But after the material was rejected by the appraiser David, he remained uneasy until one day he saw a man with yellow hair in a circus near his home.
In fact, the story of his wife cheating on this yellow-haired man has long been a hot topic in the small town. The man found a way to get the other party's inspection materials and came to the appraisal center again.
This time the results showed that the child was indeed the child of a yellow-haired man. The man was furious and took the test results resolutely to find his wife to terminate the marriage.
If a wife cheats on a dog, that is a mental illness; but for a cheater, there is no cure.
However, not everyone may be able to take the decision like this man after learning the truth.
David once received a customer who was "constantly cuckolded". He has been married to his wife for ten years and has always loved her very much.
This gentleman opened a company in partnership with his friends and gave 30% of the company's shares to his wife. Compared with his wife's predecessor, he has both earning power and sense of responsibility, but his wife has always been obsessed with her previous boyfriend.
When the first child of the small family arrived, the husband discovered that the child was not his. Seeing that his wife was sincere in acknowledging her mistake and always expressed her attachment to her family and her apology for this innocent life, the gentleman hesitated.
He really loves his wife, and it is difficult to let go of this relationship that he has held for many years. But if you cheat once, there are countless times. For this gentleman, because he knew a stain, he lived more cautiously in the future.
A few years later, the second child was born. He sent samples for testing and found that the child belonged to his wife's ex-boyfriend. Over the years, he had no idea how many times his wife had secretly met that person behind his back.
looked at himself working hard for this family, but kept feeding other people's children. This time, he finally chose to let go.
Paternity test, detecting human disorder
Wife cheating on someone else is the story David sees most often in his work. However, there are also more unexpected situations - cheating on one's own family.
Mr. Chen is a financially strong businessman, and his daily work always requires him to travel. And his wife chose to quit her job and become a full-time housewife, taking care of the elderly and children at home.
The two currently have three children together. The eldest is a boy, the second is a girl, and the third is also a boy. At first, Mr. Chen was overjoyed to learn that he was having another boy.
However, life is not always so smooth. One time, Mr. Chen came home and saw his wife and eldest son lying on the bed.
This scene completely ruined his outlook. After being depressed for a while, he suddenly remembered that when his wife gave birth to her third child, he was busy working outside and could not get home in time. Later, his wife told him that the third child, , had been born prematurely for a month, but his current health was not bad. After
learned about his eldest son, he couldn't help but go to the hospital to ask the doctor who delivered him, and got the news that the third son was not born prematurely. Therefore, Mr. Chen suspected that this younger son might be the child of his wife and eldest son. The identification results came out and indeed confirmed Mr. Chen’s guess.
"I was cheated on by my own son..."
David looked at Mr. Chen with a complicated expression and knew that this was another test on the verge of a cliff for a family.
From the perspective of biological evolution , everyone is working hard to continue their genes. The mother of the child is certain, but there is room for deception in the relationship between the child and the father.
In ancient times, there was a method of identifying relatives by shedding blood. Although this is not necessarily scientific, it can also be seen that confirming the biological relationship between a child and his father has been something that men have been very concerned about since ancient times.
's actual action of sending samples for inspection also risks tearing off the fig leaf to test human nature. The moment you decide to expose the lies of love, you must be prepared to lose.
As for those who are willing to deceive themselves and continue to live their lives, they have already made their own choices.
reminds me of a sentence in " Hundred Years Tavern ": "The worst part of lying is that the person you lie to believes your lie." This is a tragedy for both people.
@爱米儿 said
After reading this article, many men are probably frightened. After all, 20 to 30% of the children found in paternity test results are not the biological father. But I think there is a paradox here. First of all, if I can be sure that this child is my own biological child, for example, I have two sons, I have to lament the power of this gene. The two children look so much like us, they look like both father and mother. Others can tell at a glance that they are our biological children. And looking back at the time when we were pregnant and had our baby, we had a very good relationship. Everyone knew each other's whereabouts almost every day, and we could even figure out the day we conceived. In this case, it is impossible for two people to do a paternity test.
Then I thought about the people around me. Most of them are in the same situation as the two of us. They can be sure that the child is theirs. There is no need to go for a paternity test, so I estimate that at least 80-90% of couples have been excluded. In other words, those who finally go for a paternity test are full of doubts or have evidence in their hands. Among these people, it is very normal for 20 to 30% of them to say that the child is not biological. However, if it is included in all large databases, it is estimated that it is less than 2 to 3%. So I think men should not panic too much.
Secondly, after reading this, many people will pick up the moral stick to attack women. I feel that women are frivolous and liars, yet they can do such immoral things and let their husbands raise other men's children. Of course, this approach is definitely wrong, but in terms of the probability of extramarital affairs or cheating, men are actually higher than women. It is not uncommon for a man to have a mistress outside and his own illegitimate child. Anyway, for most men, as long as you have money, raising more children is just a piece of cake.On the other hand, the time, energy, and effort a woman puts into the process of childbirth, breastfeeding, and upbringing have led to the fact that we rarely see women having a family outside their own home. In addition to their own children within marriage, there are two illegitimate children outside, because she simply cannot take care of them.
So there is no need to hit women with a big moral stick. Even if the child is not her husband’s biological child, the child always has a biological father. Isn’t it because the biological father had an affair with a married woman and failed to take responsibility for his biological child, which led to this tragedy? Not a single slap could be made.
This kind of thing will actually be very painful for a man after he knows the truth, because he faces a dilemma between the fact that it is his own biological child, and the relationship he has cultivated with this child over the years, and a complete family life. After all, divorce is a lose-lose affair. But equally I think women are under a lot of pressure and pain. After carefully hiding it from the other party for several years, there must be fear, uneasiness, and guilt in my heart. The mental pressure and torture this brings to a person is unimaginable to those who are not involved.
I don’t want to stand in anyone’s position and defend anyone. Tragedy is tragedy, and there are no lucky people in tragedy. Everything has a cause and effect, and no one can escape it.
