text/Mu Ying Gongzi
Luo Xiang Teacher once said: "We often say that hard work rewards, but in fact, although many achievements in life are important, personal efforts are important, but there are actually very few things that we can decide. There are many very important moments. Some so-called noble people help are actually hard to come by. Therefore, we can only accept it with a grateful heart, and hope that we can help and bless others when we have the ability and opportunity."
people will meet these types of people in their lives, one is parents, two is friends, three is partners, and four is noble people. We often say that a close lover can be seen hard to come by, but in fact, noble people are once a lifetime.
What is a noble person? Noble people are not just those who can help you move forward. They include but are not limited to kind friends you meet by chance, "teacher" who makes you suddenly enlightened by a few words, or life mentors who encourage you to continue moving forward during the trough. In other words, noble people are not just those with high positions and power, they have thousands of faces. When these people suddenly appear around you, congratulations on meeting the noble people, God is helping you.
1: People who are willing to trust you unconditionally
Today people rarely talk about the issue of "trust", but they often mention another word: trust crisis .
What is a crisis of trust? The emergence of a crisis means that there is a problem with the relationship between people. A crisis of trust refers to the phenomenon that a certain society or group's moral norms are not followed by people, and there is a lack of moral connection and constraint between people. Neither of each other can believe in the other's sincerity and loyalty, so they dare not entrust the other party with important responsibilities.
Lin Chongde wrote in the book "The Great Dictionary of the Heart": "The sense of trust depends on the individual feeling that someone, something or something has consistency, predictability and reliability." For example, parents who suddenly break into the door and strangers who suddenly break into the door, the latter brings greater insecurity and lower trust than the former.
When discussing the importance of trust, Lin Chongde wrote: "Trust is an emotional experience in which an individual feels at ease, reliable and trustworthy about the people, things and things around him." In other words, trust can bring us emotional experience. In the workplace, this experience means opportunity and platform; in life, this experience determines our happiness and happiness index - being trusted will make people feel satisfied, and those who are trusted will also trust themselves more.
It is precisely because of the importance of trust that people are more stingy about trusting. They often need to use external things to judge whether to trust a person or something, such as value, ability, and evaluation. However, because people are too smart, they always lose a little bit of their energy and tend to be more self-righteous - although they will trust it, the frequency will not be too high.
So when someone who "willing to believe in yourself unconditionally" appears around us, should not be cynical, and don't regard it as normal. What people can deceive are often those who trust us, and what they trust us cannot bear is our deception.
2: I sincerely hope you are well and provide you with the people you need
Keigo Higashino once wrote in "Malice": "Some people's hatred has no reason. They are mediocre, have no talent, and are mediocre. So your excellence, your talent, your kindness and happiness are all original sins."
Why have people rarely shared their lives in recent years? The answer is simple: you don’t want your life to be disturbed, and you don’t want your happiness to be coveted - is hard to say that kindness and kindness are wrong, but most people’s “hope you are good” is actually “I hope you live as good as me” or “I hope you don’t have too good”.
How to judge whether the people around you "really wish you well" or if they are just pretending? It’s very simple. First, you can tell them bad news. The former will listen and provide you with what you need, while the latter will derail the entire conversation and then criticize you, “You are stupid” and “Why do bad things happen to you?”; second, you can tell them good news. The former will help you celebrate together, while the latter will discourage you, such as “Is this considered a success?”, “Ah…I was…” etc. a few years ago.
The reason why "people who sincerely wish you well and provide you with what you need" are noble people is because when we get along with losers who try to drag us down, everyone will just complain about how unfortunate life is. Getting along with people who sincerely wish us well can promote our own development - In the process of pursuing goals, these people can help us resist the erosion of negative emotions such as mental internal friction and self-denial, help us build ourselves, and then strengthen our sense of self-identity.
3: People who are willing to share their past experiences
People's logic, rationality, and reading are all limited, and the emergence of individual differences breaks down this barrier, so we talk about communication, experience, and sharing, praising the greatness of book knowledge, and admiring how broad our vision is when we stand on the shoulders of giants. However, theoretical knowledge can be preserved, circulated, and learned through books, but practical knowledge is accumulated over time. It needs to be accumulated and updated, and can only rely on word of mouth.
As the saying goes, reading thousands of books is not as good as traveling thousands of miles, traveling thousands of miles is not as good as reading countless people, and reading countless people is not as good as having an expert guide you. "Listening to your words is worth reading ten years of books." The value of "jun" does not lie in how gorgeous and touching the words the other person says, but in that the other person breaks our original thinking and helps us improve our cognition and realm.
Liu Bei first visited the thatched cottage three times, and then aspired to the Central Plains; Cao Cao greeted Xu You with bare feet, and finally conquered the world; Li Shimin was eclectic, using people's strengths and avoiding their weaknesses, and achieved great achievements. It is difficult to say that the talents of Liu Bei, Cao Cao and others are not as good as the latter, but it is certain that one person's vision is far less broad than that of two people.
No matter how capable a person is, his achievements are very limited by his own strength. However, if a person can get the help of a third person, it is only a matter of time before he achieves great achievements. This is what Guiguzi said, "Those who start things with the power of everyone will succeed."
So when there is someone around us who is willing to share past experiences, don’t easily think that the other person is a good teacher, and don’t rush to refute the other person’s point of view. Please be patient and learn to listen, distinguish, and then learn.
The power of noble people is indeed powerful, but please also remember that noble people are hard to come by. Only by working hard to improve yourself can you have the chance to meet noble people. If you had not studied poetry for ten years, even if you met noble people, you might not be able to understand what the other person said.
END
