" Tomorrow Song "
Tomorrow and tomorrow, how many tomorrows are there.
I am waiting for tomorrow, and everything will be wasted.
If people in the world are tired of tomorrow, spring will go and autumn will come.
Watch the water flowing eastward in the morning, and the sun sets westward in the evening.
How long will it be tomorrow for a century? Please listen to my song tomorrow.
Tomorrow and tomorrow , how many tomorrows!
wait for tomorrow every day, and everything will be wasted.
Everyone in the world is tired of tomorrow, and tomorrow is endless and veterans are coming.
The water flows eastward in the morning and evening, and the sun sets westward in the present and present.
How long will it be tomorrow for a century? Please listen to my song tomorrow.
"Song of Tomorrow" describes those "severe procrastination patients" in ancient times.
Faced with the coming deadline, we often have the idea of dragging it out while being anxious?
This is a very interesting question. Last class Tal explained that procrastination is because we are waiting for a perfect moment. When this moment comes, we will overcome all difficulties and start immediately, and then we will flow, and we will complete the task perfectly. This is the reason for the "perfectionist".
So "procrastination" has become the best excuse for perfectionists.
Tal defines perfectionist as: A kind of disability fear of failure that is flooded in our lives, especially for those things we care about the most.
So, the more important things are, the more we will fall into the vicious circle of procrastination-anxiety-continue procrastination. It's like , Kuafu , which can never catch up with the sun, and finally goes crazy before deadline or falls behind deadline.
The harm of perfectionism is too great and too great. Sometimes it’s not that we don’t want to start, but that we can’t start. There are always all kinds of excuses to prevent us from doing the most important things at the moment.
I am very typical myself. Every project I translated has a deadline. Usually I can complete the first draft before deadline, but I found that the closer I get to deadline, the less I can sit in front of the computer and concentrate on doing things. I have to go to the toilet and eat something later. The reason is to supplement the brain with nutrition;
Finally sat at the table, turned on the computer but logged in to the news website to see if something big happened. Sometimes I thought about not dragging it first and tidying up the room, so the more things dragged it, and people became more and more anxious.
Procrastination is fatal to our industry, because late delivery will directly lead to no manuscripts being accepted. Fortunately, I studied psychology and understood my own perfectionist tendency to brake before serious consequences occur.
In the view of perfectionists, only a straight line is the most perfect between the starting point A and the end point B (target), so only a straight line is the only correct choice.
Corresponding to perfectionists are people who pursue excellence.
Standing in front of the same starting point A and facing the same end point B, those who pursue excellence know that this is not a perfect journey with only one straight line. On the contrary, the process may be very tortuous, and will experience success, and will also experience failure. You may achieve a series of small goals in the ultimate goal, or you may be beaten back to your original form overnight.
But they won't back down and won't give up. After walking through countless bends, they also reached B.
In this process, he is not as anxious as a profit-seeker, and his nerves are like a tight string and dare not relax for a moment. On the contrary, they enjoy the process, correctly recognize failure, and summarize the reasons and lessons from failure, and finally achieve their goals.
determines that people who can only walk straight lines from A to B have a fixed mindset (schema).
People who can accept detours and accept that curves from A to B have another completely different psychological model, and these two different psychological models create completely different lives.
Tal tells a story of a profit-seeker.
Some people have been pursuing higher academic and professional achievements all their lives. After achieving a goal, they will breathe a sigh of relief briefly, but soon fall into the next pursuit.His life was full of stress and disappointment, discouragement was his norm, and the happiness brought by short-term success quickly disappeared, and the endless cycle ended with death.
What are the personality characteristics of perfectionists?
First, it is self-defense. Perfectionists cannot tolerate imperfection happening, so they cannot accept criticism from others and are always constantly defending or attacking.
Second, it is to pay too much attention to unfinished content. Perfectionists have a strong desire to complete, so they are particularly prone to disappointment. Those who pursue excellence will focus on completed content and cheer for success.
Perfectionists cannot accept themselves and always think that they can do better.
Perfectionists are easily trapped in the contradiction of "all or nothing" (to ask for everything or give up directly). If you diet and lose weight, you either diet to the limit or just eat and drink. Perfectionists are afraid of failure. They cannot accept that they are losers, and they are even more afraid that others regard them as losers. Is
very familiar? Most people will have a little bit of perfectionist tendency toward it. But truly extreme perfectionists are also rare.
Those who pursue excellence will not only not give up the entire journey, but will instead achieve higher achievements and focus on long-term satisfaction.
Those who pursue excellence value the process and live at this moment because they know that failure is inevitable, and having growth thinking is the biggest feature of those who pursue excellence.
They will not be self-confidenced and keep a corner. Extreme perfectionists will be destructive to all aspects of our lives. For example, low self-esteem and inability to accept it; for example, it will hurt various interpersonal relationships in life; for example, perfectionism will lead to continuous stress and anxiety, falling into a state of poverty and busyness, and being unable to extricate yourself, etc.
Perfectionism can lead to "numbness" (Paralysis), making it impossible for us to act at all.
So what is the cause of perfectionism? Tal believes that most of it comes from social influence.
Society is always rewarding the final result and ignoring the efforts in the process. No one cares about sweating in the gym, but people cheer for the vest line.
"No one has ever asked about it for ten years, and he became famous all over the world." Children complete their homework seriously and there will be no reward. Only after they get 100 points in the final exam will they get a saying from their parents, "You are awesome."
Various social factors have led us to always look forward to shortcuts because we cannot tolerate failure and cannot view failure correctly. But shortcuts are often the farthest way. Only by learning from failure can you ultimately succeed. Learn to fail, fail to learn, which is something Tal has repeatedly emphasized since the beginning of the course.
So how to overcome the tendency of perfectionism?
First of all, you must accept yourself and accept that you have a tendency to be perfectionist (neurosis, not all perfectionists have neurosis).
Secondly, don’t listen to the procrastination voice in your mind, and do the opposite of that voice’s suggestion. Take action immediately and break the vicious circle of perfectionism. Only action is the first step to becoming an outstanding person!
