In recent years, my best friend’s family’s financial situation has been poor. She said that her children’s three interest classes have been reduced to one, and the only remaining interest class is crumbling. She is hesitating whether to renew next time, and her children My pocket money also stopped immediately.
Nowadays, children are always arguing:
- Why did I have pocket money when I was in kindergarten, but now it is gone?
- Can’t I buy a new schoolbag in the new semester? I want to buy a toy. Why was it possible before but not now?
- I want to buy new clothes and toys. I want to travel, like flying!
My best friend is very troubled by the fact that her children "often want this and that". I resonate very much with :
are both fallen people from the end of the world! The situation in my family is actually similar to that of my best friend. It is true that the financial situation has been average in recent years, and my eldest daughter is also very uncomfortable with it. In the past, she didn't need to "ask for it", I gave it to everything I could. Now her needs are always rejected by me.
I can understand Dabao very well, because she used to live a life of long-distance travel twice a year and take random interest classes to nourish her life, but now, they are all gone.
In fact, Isn’t it normal for children to have needs? What we have to do is to let them understand what are normal needs and what are excessive needs. We can’t summarize all needs as “want something or want something west”, right?
I was determined to tell my children about the family's financial situation, and the children changed.
When the family's financial situation changed, in addition to adjusting the family's expenditure allocation, I also did one more thing, telling Dabao the true economic situation at home.
Because I have given Dabao some financial training before, she has already gone to elementary school and knows and understands numbers. So I showed her my family’s income and expenses in detail.
At that time, I listed my and my husband’s income. I used the APP to record my consumption a month in advance, and the whereabouts of every transaction in it are clear. Then Dabao finally realized that raising a family requires money in so many places: buying vegetables, fruits, clothes, water and electricity, interest classes, and even phone bills, gas expenses, breakfast expenses...
At first, Dabao still felt that his parents The income is quite high, and I can buy a lot of ice cream and chocolate, but with every expenditure, the money is getting less and less. Recently, there is not much left, and Dabao is very nervous.
Later she asked: Mom, are we so poor? Can I still go to school normally?
I said: I don’t think we are poor. Basically our life is guaranteed. You can definitely study normally, but don’t think about the big expenses now. Of course we won’t always be like this, and our parents will work hard to make money. Regarding pocket money, if there is any leftover from last month, I will give it to you. If not, then I will not give it to you.
Dabao nodded.
Later, Dabao really changed a lot. To be honest, I didn’t buy a pencil for her during the entire second grade. She said: It’s easy to get pencils. Children who perform well in class can win small prizes, which include stationery. If I win something like candy, I will trade with my classmates.
still remembers that in the first grade, she was the kind of child who complained that the pencils given by teachers were not easy to use and threw them everywhere.
Many mothers say that if the family has no money, won’t their children have low self-esteem? I feel that if adults don’t have low self-esteem, children won’t have low self-esteem.
Dabao lives a happy life every day and is not stingy. I often see her buying gifts for her classmates. When she had no money, she wouldn't buy anything and she wasn't unhappy. If it is really needed, she will tell me in advance. If I think it is okay, I will discuss with her whether I can squeeze it out of other consumption items.
In the process of controlling toy consumption, she also made many toys herself and played with her sister. Just like a few days ago, she invented a blind box simulation game. She took an express cardboard box, dug two holes, and put some chess pieces inside. Everyone took turns reaching in and guessing the words on the chess pieces. The one who guesses more correctly within the stipulated time wins.
She said: This is the most fun toy he has ever played with.
My husband agrees.
Only when we are honest can our children share the hardships with us.
Although my family’s financial income has decreased, Dabao’s income has increased because the pocket money given to her by the elderly is still there. Birthdays, Children's Day, and Spring Festival all bring in hundreds or even thousands of income.
She spends all her money herself. Anyone who has read my previous articles knows that my husband and I attach great importance to the cultivation of our children's financial intelligence. She learned to save money at a very young age and bought her own iPad, balance car, and so on. of.
I remember one time, I was writing an article very late. I lay on the table and couldn't help but said: I am really too tired.
Dabao was still awake at the time. He glanced at me, ran back to the room, and put thousands of yuan of pocket money that he had saved for half a year in front of me: "Mom, this is for you. You should have a rest."
I shed tears at that time and felt that I could still fight for a while.
My mother makes children's clothing and is a small boss herself. I suddenly remembered that when I was a child, there was a time when my mother always asked me to help look after the shop on weekends. I must have been in elementary school at that time.
I was very resistant at the time, why should I help? It’s finally a holiday, and I want to take a break. I’m already very tired from class.
When I grew up, I talked about this. My dad said that the clothing business was not easy to do in those years. Our family owed others 50,000 yuan. In the 1990s, it was indeed a lot. You still remember, dad and I were out riding a motorcycle very late at night.
I really didn’t expect this. I thought the adults were deliberately tormenting me and not wanting me to be free. Because I said at the time that I wanted to change my bicycle or buy some more expensive school supplies, my parents immediately agreed. If I had known how difficult it was at home, I would never have done this!
What a child loves most is his parents. If he knows that his parents are indeed in trouble, he will definitely be willing to help them through thick and thin.
When we are honest, our children will not make wrong choices.
When we are in financial difficulty, if we are honest, our children will not have excessive needs. And when we are indeed rich, we should not hide it and cry out for poverty.
A netizen talked about his own experience:
I thought my family was poor since I was a child, so when I was diagnosed with depression for the first time, I stopped taking my medication and did not continue to see a psychiatrist. Later, my disease relapsed and became more and more serious. Only then did I realize that my family could afford it.
Another netizen said:
Back then, I thought the tuition fees for Chinese in a certain Hong Kong were too expensive and I didn’t dare to apply. Because my mother has been very strict since I was a child, she doesn’t give me anything for buying anything, and I never have any pocket money. Later I found out that my family could support me to go to that university for 100 years, and my mother asked me why I didn’t apply for it at that time. Unfortunately, it was too late.
The family members were deceived, causing them to miss the opportunity.
We have also heard many similar news. For a few hundred dollars, children will go to escort agencies. Because they lost a mobile phone, a 14-year-old child jumped off a building.
And these children, are their families very poor? not necessarily. They just don’t understand the relationship between money and value, and they don’t have a healthy view of money.
In fact, children can develop a correct view of money no matter how much money they have or how little money they have. If we don’t have money, we reduce our needs and work together to actively accumulate wealth. If we have money, we know that making money is not easy and we consume rationally.
This is good.
is written at the end
As parents, we don’t show off if we have money, and don’t worry if we don’t have money. We should be honest with our children and lead by example. If our children know the truth, they will behave maturely. Don't think that if you endure it, you can get through life, and don't think that hiding it will be good for your children.
Don’t overestimate yourself and underestimate your children
