On the 27th, the Hangzhou Women's Federation released the "Hangzhou Anti-Domestic Violence Investigation and Research Report", which shows that according to the statistics of the Hangzhou Women's Federation's Domestic Violence Information Platform.

2019-02-27 22:23 | Zhejiang News Client | Reporter Shen Jieqiong

March 1 this year marks the 3rd anniversary of the promulgation of my country's Anti-Domestic Violence Law. On the 27th, the Hangzhou Women's Federation released the "Hangzhou Anti-Domestic Violence Investigation and Research Report (2016-2018)". The report shows that according to the statistics of the Hangzhou Women's Federation's Domestic Violence Information Platform, the number of domestic violence reports (including reports, help requests and community reports) in the main urban area of ​​Hangzhou decreased by 6.87% in 2018 compared with the same period in 2017. This is the first time that the total number of domestic violence complaints has dropped since the implementation of the Anti-Domestic Violence Law.

Chen Liaomin, vice chairman of the Hangzhou Women's Federation, said that behind the decline in data is the improvement of public awareness of anti-domestic violence, the participation of various functional departments and social forces, and the effectiveness of the construction of a safe Hangzhou and a rule of law Hangzhou. Hangzhou's anti-domestic violence work has always been at the forefront of the country. It has established the first domestic violence data analysis platform in the country that integrates information summary, early warning release, data participation and other functions, and developed the first "e-home" online anti-domestic violence service platform in the country.

Anti-domestic violence is not achieved overnight. During this period, the self-growth of the victims is particularly important. In 2018, the Hangzhou Women's Federation established the first victim growth mutual aid group in the All-China Women's Federation system to help domestic violence victims regain their inner energy, find ways to grow themselves, and achieve self-help. A Yan (pseudonym) is one of the beneficiaries of this mutual aid group. After hesitating for a whole week, A Yan finally agreed to tell her story to the reporter.

"I want to die, but I can't let go of the child"

melon-shaped face, ponytail, and a shallow dimples when I smiled. A Yan has been a favorite girl since she was a child. When she was in college, there were many boys who loved her, but she fell in love with a senior, "I like others, fair and knowledgeable."

After graduation, the senior went to Hangzhou to work as an IT engineer. After graduation, Ayan followed and successfully got a job in a financial institution. One year later, the two got married.

After marriage, her husband "controls" her very strictly, and even when she and her sister go shopping, they have to keep calling. Once, A Yan had a party with her colleagues, and her husband called seven or eight times in a row to urge her to go back. She felt a little embarrassed and turned off the phone. Unexpectedly, after returning home, his fist swung to her face. This was the first time she was beaten by her husband and was stunned. He quickly regretted and begged for forgiveness. A Yan wiped away her tears and forgave him. After

, A Yan became pregnant and her husband proposed, "You quit, I will raise you and the child in the future." A Yan agreed.

After the child was born, taking care of the child, buying vegetables and tidying up housework all fell on A Yan, and her husband gave her several hundred yuan in purchases of groceries every month. A Yan's efforts to the family were not loved by her husband. On the contrary, he returned home late and sometimes even stayed home at night. She questioned her husband, but she received insults.

That day, in order to attend a training class for her child, she asked her husband for money, but was humiliated again. She couldn't bear it anymore and threw the money into his face, which triggered his abusive behavior. He untied his belt and sucked at her, one, two, three... It was late at night, and she forced a smile, coaxed the frightened child to sleep, and then curled up on the bed like a wounded deer licking his wound, but he rushed over like a hungry wolf, begging for forgiveness and forcibly demanding sexual intercourse. A Yan wanted to resist, but he was pressed down under him.

A Yan filed for divorce, and he sneered, "Have you thought about it, you have no income, can you get custody of your child?" She repelled her in one sentence, and she couldn't bear to leave her child. From then on, she was careful in everything she did, for fear that she would accidentally annoy him, and he would turn his resentment into fists.

However, she gave in again and again, but what she got was his worse. That night, after the fists and feet were added together, he grabbed her by the foot and dragged her from the living room to the bathroom, "clear the blood on your body, and come and sleep with me." The next morning, she woke up from a nightmare and quickly got up to clean the blood mark on the ground that extended from the living room to the bathroom, for fear that the child would see it. Kneeling on the ground, wiping her blood, her tears kept falling, and at that moment, she thought of death.

In order to save herself, she called the Women's Federation and consulted about calling the police or divorce. Although she received relevant suggestions, she still did not fix any evidence for her violence, "because I can't let go of my child."

"Mutual Help Growth Group"

In helpless and desperate, Ayan unexpectedly received a call from the Hangzhou Women's Federation. On the other end of the phone is Ying Zi, a psychological counselor of the "Hehuan Psychological Counseling Service Center". "We are working on a 'Mutual Help Growth Group' project and want to invite you to participate."

"Hehuan Psychological Counseling Service Center" is a social organization serving the anti-domestic violence project of the Hangzhou Women's Federation. Hangzhou City established the "Hangzhou Municipal Committee on Preventing and Suppressing Domestic Violence" in 2010. In 2017, the Hangzhou Women's Federation established a domestic violence data analysis platform, realizing the linkage between the Municipal Women's Federation and the Municipal Public Security 110 Command Center. Every day, the Municipal Public Security 110 Command Center sends the domestic violence police to this platform. Anti-domestic violence volunteers provide legal and psychological assistance to domestic violence victims by making phone calls and sending text messages. At the same time, the Hangzhou Women's Federation also established a Hangzhou anti-domestic violence intervention platform and opened a hotline to provide daily consultation, psychological counseling and legal rights protection services.

"We go to understand the stories of victims of domestic violence and feel their pain, anxiety, fear and helplessness." Chen Shufang, founder of Hehuan Psychological Counseling Service Center, said, "We believe that self-growth is the best prescription for facing all ups and downs. In the face of hurt, what we need is not only struggle and resistance, but also growth." Based on this, the "Mutual Aid Growth Group" project was implemented in 2018 after a long preparation. "Through the closed group, psychology is used to alleviate the tension and anxiety of the group members, establish a safe mutual assistance atmosphere, and empower them with psychological support, sand table treatment, legal rights protection, etc., and let them find the power to grow with safe support and companionship." This is also the first time that our province has tried such a help method in the field of anti-domestic violence.

"I will gradually get out of that purgatory"

Ying Zi is the leader of A Yan's group this period. She invited five victims, including A Yan, who are all in their thirties and forties.

A Yan was found because a few months ago, she called the anti-domestic violence hotline. During the follow-up visit, Ying Zi felt that A Yan had depression, but she refused treatment. The "Mutual Aid Growth Group" allows her to see a different world. With this purpose, Yingzi called out this invitation call. This time, A Yan agreed.

The first lesson that Ying Zi brought to everyone was "Hello, we meet here". When we first met, we were prepared and restrained. A Yan lowered her head and just listened silently. When an older sister told about her domestic violence, A Yan raised her head and tears rolled down unconsciously. "They saw themselves in each other because there were so many similarities. They suddenly realized that in this world, I was not the only one who suffered such pain, but also people like me. Many times, the victims felt that they were isolated and helpless. When there was such an opportunity to meet some friends with similar situations, they might see different solutions." Ying Zi said, "We hope to help the team members establish the deepest connection in their lives. Although they were just accompanying everyone for a while, the mutual support between members may be a lifetime." At the end of the first class, Ying Zi asked everyone to write a letter to themselves in the future. A Yan wrote: I hope I will become better.

In the third week, Ying Zi brought a lawyer to meet everyone. This course is "Please use the law to defend yourself." As the course progressed, A Yan suddenly realized that the serial calls and bad words of her husband were all mental violence, and eventually evolved into physical violence. The lawyer emphasized that when you are subjected to physical violence, the most important thing is to call the police, stop the violent behavior immediately, and protect yourself!

In another course, professional doctors took everyone to know their bodies and face up to their mental illnesses. After that class, Ayan went to see a psychologist and then started taking antidepressant drugs.

After the seven-week course, Ying Zi watched A Yan walk lighter and lighter. She would come in advance every time the course was, chatting with her sisters and encouraging each other. She often talked about the shallow dimples.

psychological counseling props used in the "Mutual Help Growth Group"

Ying Zi said that in addition to A Yan, there is another group member who is also very good. "She applied the non-violent communication she learned in class to life, and used her own changes to drive her husband's changes. The communication methods of the two have undergone a great change in their marriage life."

A Yan told reporters that it is a blessing to participate in the "mutual assistance and growth group", "I will gradually get out of that purgatory." She is currently preparing for the divorce, "This will be a protracted battle, but I will persist." "My life is only half gone, and I can't ruin everything just because of one person. I also hope that my story can help more sisters," said A Yan.

If you encounter domestic violence, you can do this:

[Alarm] Calling the police is the first step to counter domestic violence. Call "110" to call the police. After calling the police, the police will arrive at the scene. As the party suffering from domestic violence, it is best to ask the police to issue an injury test form to determine the injury. There are two copies of the injury test form. The first couplet is the police record, and the second couplet is the hospital injury record. With this series of processes, the evidence of domestic violence is very conclusive, which can provide strong evidence for the next step of damages and prosecution, and can also apply for a personal safety protection order to the court based on actual conditions. At the same time, calling the police is also the most effective and quickest warning to the perpetrator!

[Offline consultation] Go to Room 607, Building A, Hangzhou Women's Activity Center, No. 426 Qianjiang Road, Shangcheng District, Hangzhou (Exit C of Metro Jinjiang Station), to seek psychological and legal volunteer help (call 88892535 to make an appointment for consultation).