There is no perfect family education, no perfect native family, all parents can do is do their best. ——Jusu Yanjie
All have read a lot of articles about US election .
Putting aside the mess of political arguments, what Yu Yan has always felt strange is that - Biden As an old father in typical American chicken soup, how could he raise such a cheating son ?
In recent years, everyone has particularly liked to talk about the topic of Family education .
But Sister Yu Yan searched all the family introductions about Biden. Except for the first wife who unfortunately died in a car accident in her early years, This family is decent and orthodox, and they must have status, education, and care and love.
But he just The youngest son Hunter sucked, drunk, promiscuous, summoned prostitutes, made inappropriate profits, fell in love with his widowed sister-in-law . He didn't take any ridiculous things.
and even during the campaign debate, Trump keeps cueing Biden's son's dark history - "Your son collected 3.5 million, 3.5 million, 3.5 million..."
If you say that the stepmother Jill was not concerned about the discipline of his stepson, Jill's own daughter Ashley is also unreliable.
The daughter of Jill and Biden, Ashley, was arrested for possessing marijuana at the age of 18, and was detained for obstructing police at the age of 21.
Ashley, now 39, does nothing, causing the charity clothing brand to go bankrupt.
▲21-year-old Ashley threw drink bottles at the police who maintained order, rammed and verbally abused them while wandering outside the bar. She was then detained
In 2009, Biden became the vice president, and Ashley's old friend offered $400,000 to sell videos of Ashley smoking cocaine at a party.
This time Most of the black news that Biden's campaign for president is exposed is related to children. How could this brother and sister betray the father?
Good families cannot avoid prodigal children
It should be said that there should be no major problems with the Biden family's family education.
The ancestors were rich, and their family was in decline.
Old Biden made the sale of used cars to support the family's life, and even moved to find a good school district for his children. This was also considered to be a middle-class American family who took their children's education seriously at that time.
Biden's mother spared no effort to maintain the dignity of her children and once scolded and mocked Biden for stuttering in person. Biden, who grew up in such a family atmosphere, has an average qualification but he will not give up if he determines his goal.
, from a bastard with an average undergraduate score of C and a ranking of 506/688 (Jusu Yan's grades in college are much better than him), and he got a doctorate.
has turned over from the Crane's Ph.D. in the Crane's rank 76/88, which is the salted fish at the bottom of the box, and has entered the political circle.
Finally, at the age of 77, the soldier who was stepping to the bottom line gradually changed, and the endgame was upgraded and he was in full swing. So, to be honest, Sister Yu Yan also admires his perseverance.
Biden, whose three views are influenced by his parents, also has a strong sense of family.
In 1972, Biden, who had just passed the 30th year, became one of the youngest senators in American history by voting from door to door.
On the eve of his appointment, his wife Nelia and three children were in a car accident. Nelia and her newborn young daughter were unfortunately killed and her two sons suffered head injuries.
In order to take care of his son Biden once wanted to resign, and finally took the oath to work in front of his son's bed.
At that time, Biden had many quotations, such as - "If within half a year, the identity of a member of the parliament conflicts with the identity of his father, I would voluntarily resign. Members can be found again, but fathers can't find him."
For example - "I realized that what children want to say to their parents may last 12 or 24 hours later."
After taking office, Biden took the train to work and home every day, going back and forth for 3 hours.
He said: "I just want to kiss them every day, say good night to them, and say good morning."
In addition, Biden also told his subordinates that if their sons call, they must immediately remind themselves, no matter what they are doing at the moment. This is completely an old father, benchmark .
Biden's second wife, Jill, is also a well-educated workplace person.
Jil has a doctorate like Biden, has a simple life and is not addicted to luxury.
In addition to working as an English teacher in high school, he also taught tutoring courses for his relatives with emotional disorders, and later taught in a community college. Even as the new first lady, this resume is still impressive.
▲Gill has two master's degrees and a doctorate in education
Moreover, when Biden and Jill got married, Hunter was only 7 years old, and he grew up with his stepmother since childhood.
Fathers who love their family and stepmothers who are experts in educating. It is also impossible to explain why such families teach children like Hunter and Ashley.
Of course, if you have to make excuses, you can say that - the mother died early in the car accident. The father is famous and the child is too psychologically stressed, and the eldest brother is so capable that his younger brother and sister are depressed...
In fact, Hunter's words are already a bit of that. He said - "Every family has an addiction problem. I am in a tunnel without light, and the darkness is endless."
In short, is it not easy to find some reason for depravity for myself from the original family?
However, Sister Yu Yan felt that some things really make no sense. No matter how good the family is, there is a chance of prodigality.
If you blindly use the results to reverse the reason, you may not always find the source.
The same fate as Biden is also connected to Reagans.
This golden wedding couple, who are very popular among the American people, also have several uneasy children.
When Reagan was assassinated, he lost half of his blood in his body. His daughter refused to stay in the hospital for a night. It can be said that she is very inhumane.
Seeing this, you may think that the Reagans had abused the child or something, otherwise how could the family be so indifferent. However, it did not.
All Reagan's children can complain in their memoirs is that they deliberately fell from a chair when they were young, and their parents just changed the chair for their children, without asking themselves why they fell.
At the graduation ceremony of the middle school, Reagan finished speaking on stage and did not hug the happy child.
are all similar trivial things.
Later, Reagan's daughter was infected with cocaine and worked as a waiter and singer in a restaurant. She complained that her parents didn't care about her, but did not mention that the reason why the restaurant owner was willing to hire a bad singer was entirely because she was the governor's daughter.
and Thatcher's twins' live treasures.
also always complained that my mother was busy with work when she was a child and was always not at home. The father who was in business and the mother who was in politics provided him with a good life and repeatedly paid for his son's stupid behavior.
What's more, Mrs. Thatcher would call her children every night, make breakfast for the whole family every morning, and insist on being promoted to Prime Minister herself.
In order to accompany her daughter to ski, she even changed her important political agenda. However, in the eyes of Mrs. Thatcher's children, there is only: When I was a child, you didn't accompany me, and I didn't care about you when you were old. This is all owed to me by my original family.
There is no perfect family education There is no perfect native family
In recent years, the discussion on family education has reached an extreme, that is, The problems of children all come from parents.
Children will think about the harm theory of the original family when they encounter a little unhappy in their lives - I am not good at socializing because I lack love since I was a child; I give up on myself because I am always criticized, and I am cowardly because my parents are stingy...
All the trauma now is the transference and projection of my childhood.
All the discomforts are the fault of the original family. Unfortunately, I want to spend my whole life to heal my childhood .
When I was a child, I was chased by a wooden ruler and thug board. After my younger brother was born, he sent me to my grandparents' house on the frontier. Sister Yu Yan, who also had a fluctuating relationship with my parents, once compared herself with her articles from psychologists and was indignant for a while.
Later, I took the initiative to withdraw from this emotion, because I think that if always blames the original family for its powerlessness and regards the influence of the original family as the only factor, it is to fall into a vicious cycle of self-poor.
It is always easy to blame others, but if you change yourself, you have to lose your skin.
. People often tend to avoid the important and are unwilling to bear the pressure of damage to their self-esteem.
’s excessive discussion on the original family can easily amplify the impact of family raising, and ignore the cultivation and improvement of people’s own initiative.
As adults, we should pay more attention to "what can I do" rather than "I don't have anything".
Moreover, although most of our native families are not perfect, they are not considered bad. Think about it the other way around, accepting the imperfections of the original family and gaining multi-level complex experiences is indispensable for a person's personality maturity.
As parents, we should not be nervous by the theory of original family. Even high-quality fathers like Biden are still complaining. We should explain it to our children earlier - Parents' education methods are not perfect, and the conditions at home are not the best, but each generation can only do the things of one generation. This baton is passed to you. Should we continue to complain, give up running, or choose to fulfill your own mission? Let's do it yourself.
Famous and educated families to teach prodigal children. Although it is not a common situation, it can also tell us the following truths - People who want to complain always have reason to complain, so don’t take the original family as a reason to attribute it.
No matter whether you are satisfied with your original family, after the age of 25, all kinds of family will no longer be excuses, success or degeneration are personal behaviors .
and - There is no perfect family education, no perfect native family, all parents can do is do their best.
The pictures in this article are from the network
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