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Stills: "Happy Planet" Ice Lemon
01
Children's storm
Old demon is a girl, born in rural Anhui.
In a very poor and backward mountain village, where it is very common to favor boys over girls.
was adopted by the uncle since he was born, and it turned out that his uncle's surname was Peng.
In her memory, the girl in the village is a species that can be abandoned at will. You can give it to others at will and be married to others at will.
The one who prefers boys over girls at home is the mother who is also a female .
Since childhood, I have been accepting unreasonable beatings and scoldings. As long as I say something wrong with my mother, I will just put on my face with a slipper sole.
In many cases, I dare not get close to my mother and hide outside the crowd. As long as I realize that my mother wants to hit her, I will subconsciously run away immediately.
is a little bigger and more able to escape, but my mother is getting worse.
Once, I didn’t get a call during the day, and I rushed in when I was taking a shower at night and took bamboo whip and whipped it.
"But I dare not run away. At that time, I had a sense of shame. I didn't wear a piece of clothing and could only stand there waiting for the bamboo strips to fall and wait for her anger to calm down."
"At first, I thought my mother just didn't like children, so she was so bad to me. But after my younger brother was born, I slowly discovered that my mother just didn't like her daughter, and didn't like me who was born as a daughter."
old demon was interviewed and said that
02
After being rich, my mother began to be "good" to me
old demon was interviewed and said that he was very serious about
02
After being rich, my mother began to be "good" to me
Later, my father passed away and suffered a huge blow to the old demon.
Because I left the only support in this family, the old demon also left the devilish mother and began to move to Beijing, realizing economic freedom through hard work as a self-media.
left home, but it was inseparable from a family who sucked blood.
Mom, younger brother, younger sister, younger brother's two children.
After you have money, you start subsidizing your family, buying them a lot of things, and buying some gold and silver jewelry that they feel very respectful during the holidays.
encountered a big hurdle in the years she started her own media business. She owed one or two million yuan, and her love and career were hit and she suffered from depression .
Her mother came to Beijing with her two children and took the initiative to take care of her. This is the first time.
She was very grateful and looking forward to it deep down.
She always secretly saves money to supplement my brother. What I couldn't accept even more was that the rice she cooked was getting clearer and softer. Sometimes, even for a week, she only cooked one dish at each meal, with the celery fragrant and dry celery.
I crashed again. Even if she wants to save money for her brother, I can turn a blind eye. But she didn't know that I never ate celery since I was a child. She knew what my brother liked to eat, and even what my brother and sister liked to eat, but she never wanted to remember my preferences.
My younger brother unscrupulously asked for money for various reasons. He helped to pay back 200,000 to 300,000 yuan.
Later, the basket became big and he asked himself to buy a house in his hometown and fill in a bottomless pit, just to make his younger brother unable to go to jail. This family cannot be left behind.
This dark abyss, she didn't interfere in the first time.
She also kept telling herself that her mother is now the closest person to her, and she should try her best to maintain such a relationship anyway.
but it failed in the end. Naked failure.
Perhaps, children who have not received love since childhood have been seeking recognition and seeing throughout their lives.
03
Hard self-salvation
There is only one standard for plastic surgery, just become different from her.
The old demon is inferior, "no one loves himself", this is her conclusion.
This situation is blamed for not being beautiful enough. She made up her mind and decided to go for plastic surgery. The eyes, nose, mouth, chin must be tidy.
doesn’t even pick on the hospital or see a doctor, and I want to get rid of the whole body and get rid of the imprint left by my mother.
"I can't accept this kind of imprint. When I look in the mirror, a face that is highly similar to my mother will appear in front of me."
But no matter how plastic surgery is still failed, she realized that this cannot be solved by changing her appearance.
She is carrying out a difficult self-salvation,
constantly exposes herself and analyzes herself. She never carries luxury goods when shopping and buying crazy, just to spend all the money.
Continuously date blind dates and constantly questioning and being questioned.
is full of hostility to the whole world only because of the extreme inferiority and fragility in the heart.
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I am trying to get rid of the influence of my family on me, and strive to make myself less humble and less "Fan Shengmei".
However, when I watched my brother go to jail and watched my mother run around for him, while I owned my own house and career in Beijing, I felt very, very painful and guilty.
Get the bad cards of life and try to play it well
Jung said, "The deeper the impact of native family on the children in the family, the more children tend to observe and feel the world of adults according to their small worldview when they were young."
We cannot decide our origin and family, and what kind of cards we get, but we want a seemingly happy life.
How to face this topic has never been taught.
I also grew up in such a family. I suffered and could not extricate myself. The injured child had shouted in my heart countless times,
"When I grow up, the first thing I do is to leave this home."
But no matter how far I go, I seem to have to go home.
This is a lifelong topic.
Live the present well, walk your own life path well, protect your children, and prevent them from going back to such a path.
I think is the best way out.
Everyone wants to be born in a good family, but they cannot decide their parents. You can only try to play it as well as possible when you give it to you. ”
——Kego Higashino
