The purity of the content of this work, the discussion on adventure, freedom and life choices, is almost the "I'm talking about teenagers" by a group of old guys, which deeply touched me after passing the level. So after careful consideration, I chose an unconventional way of writing. I think "Return to Monkey Island" is a storytelling game, and it also tells a very outstanding story. So, nothing can be used to evaluate this work like a story that discusses storytelling.
Note: The plot of this article involves some spoilers. Readers who have not passed the level are please read with caution.
Even the big squid in the Caribbean is sleeping in the night, and the wood in the fireplace of the "Za Zha Bar" is burning the salty and humid air.
famous landmark, the old man wearing the medal "Come and ask me the "Gao Gua"" is still dazed in the corner; the gentleman dressed well and out of place has not yet waited for the dishes he wants; the newly appointed pirate leaders gathered together to plan his next plan; the pirates with colorful hangs are enthusiastically filling the inferior ale ; the minstrels are happily singing vulgar and playful songs praising the thieves and beggars, which aroused the cheers of everyone.
Suddenly, the bard's harp broke a string, the cliff on the island took a heavy blow from a big wave, and the high atmosphere in the bar was slaughtered.
The bard looked at the angry gazes of everyone, shrugged, took out his own backup plan, and began to talk about the legend that everyone was tired of listening to - the "Monkey Island" adventure of the great pirate "Gebrash Tripwood".
But the story has just reached the stage of "a long time ago, there was a big pirate" and was interrupted by everyone's booing. The story of "Gebrash Tripwood" is like a fairy tale for pirates. Even if pirates also need fairy tales, this story has been told too many times. On the bar's bookcase - don't ask me why there are bookcases in the bar - there is a biography of "Gebrash Tripwood" covered with illustrations of children and a strange doll sewn with strange dolls. Any sailor who comes to work in the kitchen can tell you a paragraph.
The great "Gebrash Tripwood" broke through three trials of the pirate leader - all adventure stories will have such a plot; he defeated the vicious zombie ghost pirate "Old Chuck" - a strange necromancer; he broke one of the legs of "Old Chuck" with a voodoo doll - everyone was angry. Why didn't he use a sword? He also used "root ale" to blow up "Old Chuck" - the zombie pirate is afraid of soda, which is a fairy tale; in the end, he married the beautiful and powerful female governor Elaine - everyone was most dissatisfied with this, because the female governor on the island is a fierce man who can overturn five elite sailors with one hand, "blablabla".
The bard with a story written on his face didn't care about these boos. He said that in the versions you have heard, there was actually no problem solved - what is the "Secret of Monkey Island": "You pirates are no different from those kids. Seeing "Gebrash Tripwood" - his name is too long, I will call him "Lao Gai" later - defeated "Lao Chuck" and hugged the beauty, I thought the story was over."
Each story should have a fascinating beginning because it will start a new adventure, so that people are willing to sit for it all day. A secret that no one can know for decades, or even hundreds of years is obviously enough to arouse everyone's curiosity - the flying knife that was thrown away and rubbed the face of a minstrel is a good proof.
In short, the story of the bard begins like this.
"A few years after defeating 'Old Chuck', the unshaven Lao Gai never forgot the secret of Monkey Island. Although he was too poor to even afford a shaver, he chose to return to 'Chaos Island', preparing to recruit crew members, buy a new ship, and start a new adventure.
"And his first stop is undoubtedly the pirates here - the 'Crazy Island', a 'Za Zha Bar' that consumes 3,000 tons of inferior ale every year. He wants to find the pirate leaders here to play the 'three trials' again to get funds."
When he heard the 'Zha Zha Bar', the pirates present cheered symbolically, but when he heard the 'pirate leaders', the pirates present showed their excellent swearing literacy, and the words that matched various sexual organs, filth and kinship relationships were used in a superb way.
They were so committed to the quarrel that the bard filled in their own vocabulary while listening, and almost forgot to tell their own story.
"Unfortunately, Lao Gai's luck this time was worse than all previous adventures. The newly appointed pirate leaders did not know him at all, and were not interested in his glorious years. Lao Gai's ability to hold his breath for ten minutes was not as good as the other person's mastery of seventeen fighting techniques. Moreover, it was not only Lao Gai who was preparing to go to "Monkey Island" at that time. "Old Chuck" had obtained a detailed treasure map, and his ship was recruiting sailors and was ready to set off at any time."
"I knew that there was Lao Gai's place with "Old Chuck". I even suspected that "Old Chuck" was not Elaine, but Lao Gai."
"Hey, don't say it, it sounds really fucking possible."
"Right, hahaha, drink!"
"Drink!"
"Drink!" The pirates below
put forward a very constructive view, which made the bard doubt whether the recent pirate culture has been invaded by unknown elements, and whether you can consider creating similar stories in the future and selling them, but now we have to continue talking. The pirates below have begun to fabricate the development of the subsequent plot themselves, and it is still the kind of development that cannot be publicly disseminated.
"Old Gai, who was ridiculed for, could only think of other ways. He decided to find his former partner to help. But none of his old friends were willing to take risks with him.
"The powerful swordsman Kara became the governor of the "Island of Chaos" because of his busy government affairs. Although Lao Gai didn't understand what government affairs could be with an island full of pirates, he still cleverly chose not to go to Karati because he was still angry because Lao Gai owed her a book and refused to pay it back.
"And Ortis, who was born with a lack of string in his mind, was arrested by Kara for illegally picking flowers in the Governor's garden for destroying the Governor's private property. In the prison, he listened to Ortis talking loudly about what the wonderful words "The flowers in his garden are not his, what's wrong with me?" Although this is not a big problem for a pirate, Lao Gai knew that he would not be able to help him.
"By the way, the second-hand boat merchant Stan, who cheated you money all day long, was working as a prisoner with Ortis at the time. Moreover, he refused Lao Gai's friendly advice to help him escape from prison because he firmly believed that he had not committed a crime. Therefore, Lao Gai's way to buy a cheap second-hand ship was also blocked.
"As for Mihuk, he is not on the island of chaos. If I don't mention this name, you probably forgot that there was this person in the crew back then."
"Now, I'm siring from the 'Old Chuck's ship."
"It's not yet, I guess he will be on the 'Old Chuck's ship."
"Just celebrating the holiday with that necromancer. It's better to jump into the sea and feed whale ."
"Who said it's right? That's his mother, you can't even think of what he can do."
" farts, 'Old Chuck' will definitely kill Lao Gai when he saw him, and he still wants to get on the boat? "
" I said Lao Gai must have a solution, why, are you not convinced? Damn it, don’t look at your bird-like appearance, can Lao Gai be evaluated casually like you? "
" What, isn't 'Old Chuck' fucking awesome? Don't think that Lao Gai can keep winning once, you're so arrogant. "
Hearing Lao Gai's embarrassment, the pirates argued all the time, with swear words mixed in their words that were more vivid than the previous words, and the scene was even more "warm" than at the beginning. There were daggers, wine glasses, prosthetic legs, dentures and other objects flying around in the sky in the bar.
After the bard heard a few loud hiccups, he knew that these kings were The bastard has almost drunk it, and the story below can be told more easily.
"That's right, Lao Gai wants to go to sea now, and the only way is to get on the 'Old Chuck' ship, but soon he encountered an intractable trouble - although 'Old Chuck' had no objection to whether his crew was a human, a ghost or a skull, he still had a blacklist that was not allowed to board the ship. However, there is only one name on this blacklist - 'Gebrash Trippwood'
In fact, Lao Gai is this blacklist
"Not only that, if you want to board the 'Old Chuck' ship, Lao Gai also needs to prepare a good toothbrush - God knows why these undead, skeletons, zombies, and demons care so much about oral health. In short, if Lao Gai does not have a good toothbrush, then even if he is not Lao Gai, he will not be able to board the ship."
"Ha, I don't say that. I eat light beer and fish on the sea. And I don't know who said that pirates must eat raw fish. The breath of those sailors is as smelly as dead maggots that have fermented in the pit for more than ten days. The sailors on my boat once used to smoke the gunner on the opposite side with their breath when they were on the side. No matter whether it is witchcraft or black magic, it is not as powerful as this." A pirate who looks very smelly interrupted. It seems that bad breath is also the corporate culture of pirates in a sense. The bard's understanding of the sentence " to live until old and learn " is becoming more and more profound.
"When it comes to toothbrushes, Lao Gai remembered that Stan had a beautiful toothbrush. But when he ran to the prison, Stan said that toothbrushes are very great, sacred and private things. Each toothbrush has its own soul. It is everyone's dream brush, and it cannot be given to Lao Gai - and he was worried that if he used it for Lao Gai, he would be infected with scurvy .
"Thanks to his wife Elaine's ten-year popular science of scurvy, Lao Gai knew that scurvy would not be transmitted, but Stan had his own theory and went around, and Stan convinced Lao Gai. Lao Gai can only find a way to make a toothbrush by himself. From Stanna, Lao Gai learned that there was a detailed book on making toothbrushes in the Governor's House.
In the parallel universe, Lao Gai still got Stan's toothbrush
"So, although not very willing, Lao Gai decided to borrow books from Governor Kara. But as mentioned earlier, Kara was still resentful of Lao Gai's problem of borrowing books but not returning them. She could not borrow books from Lao Gai again.
"Lao Gai began to ask acquaintances in the town to ask Kara how to forgive him. Finally, the voodoo lady who seemed to never get old in the international witchcraft store helped him solve this problem. She gave Lao Gai a witchcraft frog with mysterious power. As long as Lao Gai wrote a sincere apology letter on this frog - I know this is outrageous, but it is indeed very 'witchcraft' - Kara would forgive him. She also said that when Lao Gai has finished the toothbrush, she can help Lao Gai enchant it. Lao Gai can turn into a zombie just by brushing his teeth with a toothbrush, so that "Old Chuck" will not recognize him.
"This time, the toothbrush really has to be done, so Lao Gai devoted his life to write an apology letter praising Kara, and expressed his full apology at the end - this time he was very smart and did not say whether it was his fault.So, with the help of the mysterious power of the frog, Kara successfully forgave him and he also got the toothbrush production book. "
Being a praising person
" This sounds like a treasure hunt game that my child plays. "
" is the "Pirates Fighting Squid"? The kid next door is also playing, and he comes every day to ask me if the pirates are like that, and I kicked them away. "
" I think it is more like a toy that is installed in a doll and then keeps installing it. I remember it is called a 'masked doll' or something. "
" What kind of toothbrush can make you look like a zombie? Let me make one too. Recently, I fell in love with a ghost from the East, called " Sadako ". That figure is so hot that I can't go to for three days, but I'm not interested in living people, so it's convenient for me to have this toothbrush. "
The bard ignored the pirates' jokes. His story has just begun. If you don't finish it quickly, you will have to sleep tonight.
" According to the records in the book, making a toothbrush cover requires the preparation of bristles and toothbrush handles. The best toothbrush hair must be the bristles of the 'rotating pig', but these pigs have been extinct for a long time because they are too delicious. It is estimated that only the museums on the island will have specimens of such hair.
"As for the toothbrush handle, it needs the branches of the 'mop tree'. The only 'mop tree' on the island is deep in the dark forest. Lao Gai needs to find the map of the dark forest to find this tree.
Lao Gai once saw this mop tree, but he forgot where it was
"'This is not troublesome' When Lao Gai saw the 'mop tree', he touched the stubble on his chin, turned and walked into the kitchen of the 'Za Zha Bar'. The bar owner's "mop" leaned against the corner of the kitchen, which was the only thing that could be called "clean". (The pirates present deeply agree with this view)
"While the bar owner and chef's puzzled eyes, Lao Gai cut off a mop handle very quickly, and then threw the boss's roar behind him with a more rapid action, and escaped from the 'Zhao Zha Bar'."
"No wonder I looked at the mop last time, and I was curious why the boss chased me with a knife when the mop was so short." Because of this story, a pirate solved the problem that he might not be able to find the answer for his life, and the bard was very satisfied with it.
"After leaving the 'Za Zha Bar', Lao Gai came to the museum on the island. Originally, he was curious about what would be placed in the museum in this broken place, but after he arrived, he found that the walls were full of records of his past deeds - all of his love letters, wanted orders, etc. that he could not find, were hung in this museum for exhibition. The museum's director told him that it would be okay to "roll the pig's mane, but Lao Gai had to participate in the "Great Pirate Gaibrash Tripwood Playing Competition" held by the museum tonight and won the first place."
"Then Lao Gai won't be sure, He is himself. "
" Ha, a new rookie, you must have never really visited the museum on the island. When you go, you will know that what you just said is as smelly as fart."
"What the hell do you mean? Old Gai plays Old Gai, so you still need to act? No matter how you think, you can't lose, what are you a stinky fish and rotten shrimps, dare to talk to me like this, do you want to have two hands?"
"Come on, stone scissors, cloth, how about two wins in three games!"
The bard looked at the drunkard who couldn't stand straight and was talking, thinking that I could knock you two down now, and then continue talking.
"Lao Gai also felt that he would win. But in the competition, the director asked him to play the role of "Lao Gai" and answer some details of his adventures back then. As a result, what Lao Gai said had basically nothing to do with the correct answer. He successfully won the last place in the competition and was ridiculed by the director. (At this point, the two pirates just now were drunk.)
"After arguing, Lao Gai fully understood the director's theory that 'this evidence has constituted facts, and it doesn't matter what the truth of the matter was.' After fully understanding it, he stole the precious mane while the director was not careful, and then walked around in the dark forest twice and threw the director away.
To a certain extent, you can understand why Lao Gai was so angry
"Lao Gai who successfully got all the materials, returned to the witchcraft store to assemble the toothbrush, and then Lao Gai asked when the voodoo lady could enchant.
"Mrs. Voodoo said it would be fine right away, but before enchanting, you have to sign a disclaimer to ensure that you will not use this thing for crimes, or any behavior that may lead to crimes, and will not use this product to try any activities that may damage the product itself. If there is any damage, our store will not be responsible for it...
...
...
...
(omitted below)
Finally, our store stated that all the events caused by this product after it was sold will not have any connection with our store. "
After saying this, the bard looked at half of the pirates who were already asleep in the bar and the other half who had just finished laughing "hahaha", feeling that victory was in sight.
"After Lao Gai read the first two lines of words, he rationally gave up reading this disclaimer higher than others and signed the document directly. Mrs. Voodoo said that in order to thank him for his cooperation, he would give him an additional guidebook, which could be informed when he didn't know where to find the way. However, Lao Gai was still immersed in the shock caused by the disclaimer just now. He didn't hear this sentence at all, and left the guidebook in the store. However, Lao Gai's note Sex, even if he took it away, he might not be able to remember to use it, so there is no big problem.
"After finally getting everything done, Lao Gai quickly came to the crew recruitment office of "Old Chuck". With his outstanding toothbrush, flawless disguise, and extraordinary ability to hold his breath at the bottom of the water for ten minutes, he became a sailor on the bottom of the boat on the "Old Chuck", responsible for brushing the floor of the bilge (the pirates were very dissatisfied with the bard's inferior jokes, and slapped the table with the glass of inferior ale).
" Everything went smoothly on the ship. Except for the bureaucratic brutal rule of ‘Old Chuck’ and the shit that can never be wiped out at the bilge, everything was good. Lao Gai worked hard in the cabin for a while and figured out the interpersonal relationships on the ship and the preferences of everyone. However, just as Lao Gai was planning when to instigate the rebellion and take off the boat's ship, the bell for a meeting rang out on the ship.
"At the meeting, ‘Old Chuck’ said that after a period of sailing, Monkey Island was close in front of him. To celebrate, everyone can open their drinks tonight.
" A grand dinner was held, and all kinds of seafood, bread, and marinated meat were served on the table, and buckets of ale were moved out of the warehouse. "Old Chuck" didn't even know where he got several large pots of fresh vegetables and two large grilled chickens, which made Lao Gai so happy.
" But Lao Gai forgot one thing, he was not a very hygienic person - he had never brushed his teeth once when he got on the boat for so many days. So, while he was eating and drinking happily, his disguised witchcraft failed.
"When his true body was exposed to everyone, only the roar of "Old Chuck" in Lao Gai's world was left: "Cui-Pu-Wu-De!" '
"Then, Lao Gai was tied up with a stone and threw it into the sea. He should be glad that "Old Chuck" was in a hurry, otherwise it would be not a whole piece when Lao Gai went into the sea."
" Fuck, but he worked hard for a long time to get a toothbrush, and it was useless. How many tricks are you here! "
said, and the bard welcomed another flying knife tonight, but it was obvious that the pirate gentleman had entered the stage of shaking hands. The flying knife did not touch the edge of the bard at all, but instead inserted a sleeping pirate near the bard.
The unfortunately caught pirate finally woke up in pain, but he pulled out the knife with sleepy eyes, threw it on the ground, and continued to sleep. The Secret of Monkey Island Secret, other people's attacks are not important to him at this moment. I hope he won't do that when he goes out to sea next time.
The bard glanced at the pirate who was caught and confirmed that the other party would not beat him up.
"Lao Gai easily broke free from the stone in the water. The former pirate did have two brushes, and the ability to hold his breath for ten minutes made Lao Gai least afraid of is going into the water. Considering that it was not far from Monkey Island, Lao Gai decided to swim while diving.
In fact, Lao Gai brags. He can only hold on for eight minutes at this time
"But, we pirates have a proverb - Unlucky things are like a bunch of grapes. If you eat a sour one, you will eat the next one that is even more sour.
"Lao Gai encountered a huge undercurrent underwater before swimming, and then was swept into the mouth of a whale. "
" Ha, the whale is waiting here. I just said that it would be better to jump into the sea to feed the whale, but I didn't expect this to happen. It's worthy of Lao Gai, who can easily do what we can't do%￥#&*@#" A pirate who was about to collapse was lying on the table and talking in a daze.
The bard felt that if he told him that the whale was made up, the pirate would jump up and blow his head in anger, but it doesn't matter. He wouldn't know this now.
" The whale was huge, and then the glimmer of light at the bottom of the sea, Lao Gai could see thousands of scars inserted by fish hooks on the whale's head. Then, Lao Gai, who was swallowed by the whale, was washed into the whale's stomach along the water flow. The air here emitted the smell of fish, maggots and feces mixed together, which made Lao Gai almost vomited out. (Pirates with bad breath: No one knows this taste better than me)
roughly so
"Luckily, this whale swallowed a lot of fish that glowing , which made its stomach not completely dark. With this glimmer of light, Lao Gai could barely see a little fire not far ahead. The light of the fire probably represents the clue to going out. He stepped on the soft stomach wall and walked deeper.
"But the closer Lao Gai got to the fire, the more familiar the things in front of him looked. It was not until he came to the fire that he realized that it was the ship of ‘Old Chuck’. Standing under the boat, he could hear the roar of "Old Chuck" that resounded through the sky: "It should be - dead - whale - fish! '
"Lao Gai felt that he could not get out of the whale's belly by himself, so he wanted to try whether he could cooperate with 'Old Chuck'. He estimated that 'Old Chuck' would agree, and they could always think of one. Of course, if they disagree, they could only be digested into feces by the whales together.
"It is true. Although 'Old Chuck' and 'Old Chuck' regard each other as their enemies, they are essentially two very similar people, both love adventure, have many ideas, and have a little bit of mutual appreciation in their hearts. You see, they always talk about the catchphrase they always talk about - 'He stole all my good ideas'.
"As expected, after an hour of sword fighting, two hours of cursing each other, and countless quarrels about whose wife "Elaine" was, Lao Gai and "Old Chuck" barely reached a consensus on joining forces - but this time the joining forces was limited to escaping the belly of this damn whale.
"Because Lao Kui has been soaking on the boat for a long time, he has a considerable degree of confidence in the craftsmanship of the chef Putra on the boat. As long as Putra is asked to make such a devil's hometown dish, the spicy, hot and disgusting feeling will definitely make the whale spit out.
" His idea came true. Although smelling the air in the whale's stomach and the food in Putra's kitchen was a double scent blow, the big pot of hell spicy soup made by Putra did make the big whale spit out. Lao Gai and "Old Chuck"'s ships were both able to escape.
"But the moment he escaped from the whale's stomach, Lao Gai was immediately kicked off the boat by "Old Chuck". Lao Gai completed his cheers before entering the water, avoiding the risk of choking by sea water.
"But this confrontation between Lao Gai and "Old Chuck" was Lao Gai's victory. Lao Gai took out a parchment map from his pocket, which recorded the secret treasure location of Monkey Island. Next, as long as you arrive at Monkey Island, Lao Gai can get the treasure along with the treasure map. "
"Good*&##￥#@&"Most of the pirates were already unconscious at this time.
The bard felt that it was almost done, and it was time to end the story.
" dived while swimming, and finally arrived at Lao Gai of the 'Monkey Island' and immediately followed the treasure map. Along the way, he saw the footprints of 'Old Chuck' and his group. It seems that stealing the map does not affect Old Chuck's route to remember the treasure map.
"Lao Gai kept chasing her. When he finally arrived at the treasure site, he saw the homeless man ‘Herman Totrot’ he met on Monkey Island. ‘Old Chuck’ stood in front of the homeless man scratching his ears and his forehead, looking very irritable. Behind the homeless man was a safe that looked very like a ‘secret’.
"Seeing Lao Gai's arrival, ‘Herman’ kept repeating a passage like a robot: ‘The secret of Monkey Island is behind me, but if you want to get this secret, you must tell a story that satisfies me. The secret of Monkey Island represents the end of all these legends. It is a very fair thing to use the birth of one story to exchange for the end of another story. ...The secret of Monkey Island is...'
"Lao Gai thought to himself, "It turns out that Old Chuck is worried about this. He is really not so good at this. I read his diary. His ability to write stories is as bad as his face.' Then, he added fuel to the fire of the adventure story along the way, changed his shape and turned it into a story called "Return to Monkey Island", and told it to 'Herman'.
"Herman' nodded with satisfaction after hearing this, opened the safe for Lao Gai, and the secret of 'Monkey Island' was finally revealed to Lao Gai.
"And all the anger of "Old Chuck" was so angry that he took out a bottle of "root ale" he picked up on the road - you know, this is what Old Chuck fears the most - and then turned into incompetent fury.
"Old Chuck" roared angrily, 'Tuepulwood, you remember it for me' while leaving. Lao Gai finally obtained the "Monkey Island Secret" that laid the groundwork for thousands of words. "
As the word "secret" was finished, the last pirate in the bar fell down. Seeing that everyone present could not even shout out half of the garbled code, the bard closed his mouth with satisfaction and prepared to leave and go home to sleep. When he was about to walk out of the door, the bar owner asked him: "So, you haven't finished your ending yet, what is the secret of Monkey Island? "
" Who knows, the secret of Monkey Island can be anything, but these guys don't care," said the bard and pointed to the pirates in the bar, "They are just here to drink. "
On the evening of dusk, "Little Gaibrash" sat obediently on the bench in the park, listening to his father telling about his past.
After listening to the end of the story, his mouth turned into an "O" shape and stayed for several seconds.
Then he said to Lao Gai angrily: "Dad, it's really shameless for you to brag about this. Uncle 'Old Chuck' is not that stupid. Moreover, although your story is different from the version you told me last time, the ending is still the same bad. You have taught me that the story cannot be told like that! Do you want to lie to me again? Humph!"
Lao Gai touched Xiao Gai's head and said, "I thought you like this type of story. Don't you often act like Chaki in the theater in the park?"
Xiao Gai was even more angry "You said that last time! I have told you that we are children, and it doesn't matter if children act like this, but you are adults, you should tell me a better story!" After saying this, Xiao Gai turned his head and shouted not far away: "Mom! Dad deliberately acted like a fool and didn't tell me the secret of Monkey Island!"
Elaine walked over and said, "Okay, okay, you don't know that every time your father tells this story, it will make the story even stranger. Be good, let's go to the dock to see the sailing boat going to sea?"
Xiao Gai immediately shouted, "Okay!" and then ran away.
Lao Gai, who was left in the same place, sat in the empty park, looking at the slowly falling leaves, and smiled a little.
Until Elaine's voice came from afar: "Oh, husband, I bought a new treasure map."
"Okay!"
