Author丨Aunt Jiang
This is the 504th night that Jiang hangs with you
Recently, Lin Chiling , who has disappeared from the audience's sight for a long time, is back.
This time, Lin Chi-ling wore an elegant white training dress and returned to the Taiwanese bookstore to promote her new book "Just-just-Good Elegance".
Now, it has been three years since Lin Chiling married Kurosawa Ryohei , but the emotional storm about the two has not stopped.
Image source: Sina Weibo, delete
Taiwanese media revealed that Lin Chiling returned to China this time to end her life in Japan and return to Taiwan.
As for her husband Kurosawa Ryohei, she will continue to stay in Japan and fly on both sides depending on the situation.
So many netizens speculated whether it was related to Kurosawa Ryohei's previous cheating and domestic violence rumors.
Some netizens also said that this may be a sign of divorce?
Facing speculation, Lin Chi-ling, who has always ignored it, also publicly responded to divorce rumors for the first time:
doesn't care what people say in their lifetime.
3 A simple sentence slapped the divorce rumors in the face.
In this regard, Aunt Jiang wanted to say that marriage is like drinking water, and you will know the cold and warmth.
We eat melons only need to be a rational spectator to get better.
As a woman, Aunt Jiang hopes that Lin Chiling can always have her own happiness.
But Aunt Jiang can understand the netizens’ guesses very well.
After all, the two are a transnational marriage and are likely to face inconsistencies in cultural context and ideologically.
especially for women, marrying far away is always a big gamble.
Before getting married, I feel that what I have to face with far away marriage is just a problem of distance. After getting married, I find out that distance is the smallest problem.
A netizen on Zhihu shared his story.
got married for ten years, had only daughter, married in another province, and usually settled in Guangzhou.
netizens said that in fact, their situation is already relatively good. They live in first-tier cities and have developed transportation, so in the eyes of many people, going back to their parents' home is just a simple thing to buy an high-speed rail ticket.
But it turns out that this is not the case.
Image source: Internet, delete
First of all, during major festivals, you must go back to the man's house.
Especially during the New Year, according to tradition, New Year's Eve must be spent at the man's house, otherwise in the eyes of outsiders, your wife is unfilial.
Once, in order to go back to his parents' home for the New Year, a netizen turned against his mother-in-law. He caught the train at 12 a.m. on New Year's Eve just to join his family members.
and this is not an isolated case.
The most intuitive feeling is that no matter what identity he was before, as long as he married, he was a family member of the in-laws and needed to follow the customs of the man’s family.
marries far away, nine out of ten are injured.
Once saw a heart-wrenching story on a short video software.
A Zhejiang girl married her beloved boyfriend from another place. Before marriage, the other party was obedient, and the in-laws were polite to him and said "daughter" at once.
Although the parents did not agree to the marriage, the girl still ran to the boy's hometown, Guizhou.
The boy's family said that his conditions were not good, and he could not compare to the girl's family, so the girl proposed not to give a bride price, just hold a wedding, and she wanted to marry love.
Image source: Internet, delete
Later, the girl was pregnant before marriage, and her husband's family refused to say that it was not good to wear a wedding dress with a big belly, so she just put a few tables of banquets in the village.
As a bride, the girl doesn’t even have a wedding dress and can only wear a red down jacket toast table by table.
After the child grows up in the month, her boyfriend changes completely.
Because the girl couldn't work in the later stage of pregnancy, the girl cut off her income, so she usually needs to report to her boyfriend when buying things.
One day, the girl passed by a barbecue stall and picked up a string of rice cakes and went into the oil pan. She still didn't report to her boyfriend.
But who knew that her boyfriend turned around and left, leaving behind a girl who had no money to pay and was embarrassed in the same place.
The girl said that in her life, she will never forget the shame brought by this string of fried rice cake .
Marrying far away is actually marrying loneliness. There is a question on the post bar: Why are so many people not optimistic about marrying far away?
answers are overwhelming, and it makes people feel extremely distressed.
Someone said that because I was married far away, when I was bullied by my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, I didn’t dare to resist and was abused by my husband, so I could only cry to my mother on the phone.
Some people say that because I am married far away, even if I know that there are people outside my husband, I can only turn a blind eye. The child is still young, and I take care of the family and have no income. I can't imagine my future life at all.
What makes Aunt Jiang feel the most sad is this comment:
Because she married far away, her mother breast cancer could not take care of her in time. Because she married far away, she found that the distance between her family was never just a high-speed rail ticket.
If life is compared to a relay race, then marrying far away is almost like throwing away the stick and starting over.
Having said so much, isn’t all the marriages far away without good results?
The answer is of course no.
If you regret marrying from afar, you will inevitably be spoiled by your husband and family after marrying from afar.
Just from the moment you make up your mind to marry far away, you must consider the situation and results you may face in the future.
A woman who is married far away is destined to need more courage and luck than others.
Image source: Internet, delete
If you really want to marry far away, Aunt Jiang hopes you will consider the following things clearly.
First, no matter where you marry far away or what kind of in-laws you encounter, the main contradiction of the problem lies in your man.
Is this man responsible? Is he owning his own opinions while respecting you, and can handle the relationship between his mother and his wife well.
second, maintain a certain degree of economic independence.
Whether or not a girl is married far away, financial independence is always the basis and guarantee of inner stability. Even if you face bad situations, your financial ability is your confidence.
3 Third, be self-reliant and able to endure loneliness.
Once you marry far away, it will inevitably mean that you will lose your previous connections and your parents' company. Since you have chosen this path, you must be self-reliant and adapt to your new life as soon as possible.
Finally, Aunt Jiang hopes that all men will cherish the wife who gave up everything for you.
The moment when the spark of love occurs is of course heart-warming, but it is only in the accumulation of little or no time. The value of love is more precious.
