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Author | Yang Xiaomi + days one Edit | Xiaochen
Source | Mr. Liu and me and my daily
Hello everyone, I am Tianyi of Xiaomi team.
I wrote to you the story of my elder sister before. In the article "
01
After buying a house in Northeast China
My sister wanted a stable job
My brother-in-law got the civil servant exam in my hometown, passed the written examination in 2018, and passed the interview in 2019, which was considered a stable job.
During the preparation period for the exam, my sister was responsible for taking care of the children and running tutoring classes. My parents-in-law had to do their own business and couldn't keep seeing the children for my sister.
My mother's family is too far away and I can't help. My sister is very tired. The cram school requires her own enrollment, lectures, tutoring students' homework, etc., and my sister is too busy alone.
In addition, at that time, the country issued a policy, and the school proposed evening class services, and parents paid a certain fee. The school provided after-school services, and interested classes, and also tutored homework.
My sister thought, the policy came out, maybe it would be difficult to do tutoring classes in the future, which may be a sign. Although the current income is still good, we should change our careers in as soon as possible.
Seeing that my brother-in-law was admitted to civil servants, my sister was sincerely happy. Then she thought that her work was unstable and she was very tired every day. The future development of the cram school may change.
.1. In the future, the couple had a bad relationship and were kicked out. There were few job opportunities in a small county town, so they could not survive.
Thinking of this, my sister shivered. Although she was very confident about her feelings, she did not have the insecurity brought by long-term and stable work, which still strongly affected her sister .
My aunt also took advantage of the situation and "fanning the flames": Your cram school is not a stable job, you must have a formal job.
You are so far away from me. If their family members treat you badly in the future, wouldn’t you be very passive if you don’t have a job?
Because my sister has been running cram schools and likes the atmosphere of being with students, she decided to apply for a teacher position in 2019.
My sister analyzed her situation :
Long-term cram school, giving lectures to students, and has a solid understanding of subject knowledge;
I came out of the Hebei college entrance examination province, have good learning and examination skills, and have strong self-discipline.
Sister did an assessment of the subjects, which scores are certain to be obtained and which ones cannot be obtained, which are weak. Strengthen review and overcome difficulties.
For example, my sister is very good at math knowledge, so you only need to be familiar with math.
Many contents of education and educational psychology need to be recited. My sister is not familiar with it, so she focuses on it. She memorizes it when she gets up early and memorizes it at night. She still needs to do the questions after memorizing it.
She really has been very self-disciplined and has allocated her time very well. every day she studies, takes care of her children, tutors students, coaxes children to sleep and study. She is busy until 12 o'clock in the evening.
02
Before the exam
found that she was uncomfortable
, but in the later stage of the exam, my sister was uncomfortable and needed a minor operation. She blamed herself for not taking good care of herself, but blaming her is useless. What should I do now?
If you don’t take the exam, what should you do with your family’s income? I can only rely on my brother-in-law, but my brother-in-law just started working and didn’t pay the salary for the first year, so I was paying the salary at the end of the year, which means that the family will have no income in the next year.
If you have a stable job as a teacher and can take into account both work and family, that's great .
My sister often suffers from insomnia. She thinks that she is two or three in the morning and has a lot of mood swings. She often crys for no reason and is in very bad condition.
Finally my sister had surgery, but it still affected her review and her written test scores were average. The recovery period was still in the recovery period before the interview, which affected the performance of the interview. In the end, my sister prepared for the exam in the first year and ended in failure.
The relatives at home laughed at my sister for not even passing the exam. (meaning that teachers are easy to take, but your level is not even a teacher, it is really bad)
2019 provincial examination (civil service examination) . My sister didn't want to take it, but my brother-in-law said that maybe it was an opportunity to find the feeling of taking the exam.
sister went there and ranked fourth in the exam, and she wanted the top three. I failed the exam twice in a row, and my sister felt that she was very useless. was so angry that she took the child back to her hometown in Hebei after the exam, preparing to rest for a while .
It was the Chinese New Year at that time, and the epidemic broke out in Wuhan. When my brother-in-law saw the news, he quickly took the train to Hebei overnight to pick up his sister and children home.
After I got home, I was quarantined at home for a long time and I couldn’t do any work.
03
The second preparation for the exam
Even if you are anxious, you have to go to
At that time, I introduced my sister to an online part-time (data compiled by good friends' company) . My brother-in-law's unit does not pay the salary, and my sister earns 2,000-3,000 yuan in living expenses every month by relying on online part-time jobs.
Sister deeply felt that it is really important to have a stable job .
When I was quarantined at home, my sister bought the teacher exam course online. Every night, the child fell asleep. After finishing her part-time job, she started to learn online classes. She studied until the early morning to rest. This is how it is every day.
In order to prepare more fully, my sister joined many teachers' QQ groups to prepare for the exam and obtained a lot of information, when to take the exam, when to get the job information, what positions are there, what requirements are there, whether there is an interview, etc.
In addition to information, my sister also obtained anxiety . For example, I learned that a group member has been taking the exam for 7 years and is still preparing for the exam this year.
A group member ranked second in the written test last time, and made 8 people, and was in the top four. He thought he was a sure thing, but someone turned the tables against the wind.
There are still some people who took N exams, so many that she couldn't count them herself. She would go as long as there was an exam, but she never passed the exam.
She thought, would she be one of the destinies? After all, I am just an ordinary person, .
In order to increase the success rate, my sister enrolled in an institution. An institution said that if she had interviewed in the 2019 exam, she could attend the live class by paying 2,000 yuan. The teacher was very good. How about it? My sister thought I would give it a try. She signed up for the first time.
In May 2020, you can go to offline classes. The sister sends the child to her mother-in-law’s house in the morning and then goes to the institution to attend classes.
In the evening, my brother-in-law picked up the child after get off work, ate something outside, took the child to play until 9 pm, picking up the sister after class and going home.
After returning home, I coaxed my child to fall asleep. My sister continued to work part-time and read books and study .
Two more months passed, and my sister couldn't stand it anymore, so she stopped working part-time to concentrate on preparing for the exam. Now the family has lost some income and can only borrow money to live.
finally took the exam. My sister got the third place. There were 16 people entering the interview, and there were a total of 8 people. Logically speaking, my sister will definitely be stable in advance.
But she was too nervous and wanted this job too much, and didn't want to repeat the failed experience .
doesn't want to keep myself in a situation where I have no income when I review and prepare for the exam, and I don't want to continue to experience the anxiety of people around me passing the exam one after another, but I still face the exam again and again.
She was anxious and heard that a must-pass interview class worth 25,800 yuan. She borrowed 25,800 yuan to register and made up her mind to pass the exam.
The final result was that my sister passed the exam and became a junior high school mathematics teacher .
# written at the end
In November 2020, my sister started working. She told me that she felt that the whole world was relaxed .
I asked my sister why she was so anxious?
Sister said that if I pass the exam, I will be relieved. It has been two years since I have paid too much for this job and the pressure is too great. I am really worried that I won’t pass the exam.
And I don’t want to be pointed at by people around me anymore. I think I can’t do it. I just have to show it to others, so I would rather enroll in the most expensive class than pass the exam.
Now it seems that the so-called interview and guarantee class is not a routine?
pay for the interview. If you fail the exam, the money will be returned to you; if you pass the exam, the institution will accept the money, and there will be no loss to the institution.
sister said that there was no need to spend 25,800 yuan at that time, but in that situation, the exam became my only way out. I must pass the exam. Even if someone told me that spending 50,000 yuan would make steady progress, I would definitely spend it.
I understand my sister's feelings. She tried her best to win something and paid a lot of money.
finally got it. I was not full of joy and excitement, but I would breathe a long sigh of relief. Finally, I did it, and I didn’t have to be so tired.
My sister has experienced too many setbacks. I think what would happen if I were replaced by me?
I am not that persistent in this job, and I may not necessarily spend money to sign up.
But what would happen if I got married too and my husband’s salary was not enough to support my family?
I didn’t know before that from 2016 to 2020, my sister had been so hard in recent years, and we often communicated at that time.
But most of them are good things. I just graduated in 2016 and lived a normal life. I just managed myself well.
But what I often share is what I have gained in this job, I got the bonus again, and what achievements I have made .
My sister's affairs made me think about the cruelty of life, and I have come to such a situation.
In addition to encouraging yourself to work hard, besides facing anxiety and stress, is there any other way besides defeating it?
Backing back is a cliff, just like everything you don’t want to face, and running by fear, at least running, at least closer to what you want.
Sometimes life will give you a set of combination punches, which will hit you all over and make you lose the courage to stand up.
But as long as you can be a little more ruthless to yourself, have hope, and don’t give up, you can stand up and welcome the new life .
This is what I learned from my sister’s experience.
Yang Xiaomi: Founder of self-media [Meet Xiaomi], author of "Action Money", a psychology class, a Shandong native who lives in Shanghai, has gone from an ordinary employee to a marketing director for 3 years, and has started a business, sharing workplace experience and growth stories
