"The Devil Wears Prada" is a very hot movie ten years ago. It is a film based on a best-selling novel of the same name written by Lauren Weisberg based on his own experience. The novel occupies the New York Times bestseller list for 6 months, published in 27 countries, and the movie exceeded $100 million in two weeks after it was released.
videos are performed by Meryl Streep , Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt.
This video tells the story of Andy, a girl who just graduated from school and wanted to be a reporter. Because she was not looking for a job, she by chance entered a top fashion magazine Runway as an assistant to the editor-in-chief.
Editor-in-chief Miranda is a workaholic and extreme perfectionist. She treats everyone inhumane and sarcastic.
Under her strict requirements, Andy went from a casually dressed and clumsy newcomer to becoming a fashionable, capable and efficient workplace expert.
video at the end, Andy found that she didn't like this kind of life, so she resolutely left the magazine, found her original intention, and finally found her lost happiness.
Through this movie, we can re-understand the relationship between life and work, and inspire us to think more deeply: What kind of life is more worth living?
1. Why do poetry and the distance become the miserable thing in front of you
Why do we change our original intentions?
An important reason is that we will be shaped by the environment and changed by pressure.
Everyone will have dreams at the beginning, but the road to dreams is often tortuous, and sometimes we need to move forward in a roundabout way. So we often have to adopt stop-point measures and transitional strategies, but we often go astray from our dreams. Why is this happening to
?
Because humans are social animals, they are always affected by the surrounding environment and people. No matter what our initial thoughts are, once we enter an environment, the environment will produce strong pressure, and we will be pushed forward by the environment and be changed unknowingly.
Andy in the play initially dreamed of being a reporter. Because she was not looking for a job well, she by chance entered a fashion magazine as an assistant.
At the beginning, she didn't want to change her style, such as not willing to wear high heels, and even laughed at those fashionable girls.
But soon, under the pressure of his boss and colleagues, Andy gradually changed himself.
From being reluctant to wear high heels at the beginning, to being fashionable later; work also changed from being dizzy, clumsy to being capable and neat.
Andy completely changed herself for this job until she finally found out that she became what she didn't like.
Psychologist William James said: " The deepest desire of human nature is to gain the appreciation and recognition of others. This is what distinguishes humans from other animals."
Humans are group animals, and we always hope to integrate into the environment and gain recognition and a sense of belonging.
Seeking recognition from others is a universal psychological need of mankind and an important and universal driving force for human behavior.
If we cannot meet other people's expectations and are denied or criticized by others, we will feel tremendous pressure. Therefore, we often unconsciously adjust our behavior, meet other people's expectations, and relieve psychological stress and anxiety.
The end result is that our behavior is always reshaped by the environment.
There is a famous "Rosenthal effect" in psychology, also known as the "Leather Marion effect". The core principle is that other people's expectations and external authority will affect individuals' cognition of themselves. Self-cognition will produce corresponding behaviors, and behavior will affect others' perceptions of you. In this cycle, expectations will eventually become reality.
Therefore, no matter what our original intention is, once we enter a circle, the surrounding environment and people around us, they will convey their expectations and opinions to us. In order to gain recognition, we have to change ourselves to adapt to the environment.
"The Devil Wears Prada" is a very hot movie ten years ago. It is a film based on a best-selling novel of the same name written by Lauren Weisberg based on his own experience. The novel occupies the New York Times bestseller list for 6 months, published in 27 countries, and the movie exceeded $100 million in two weeks after it was released.
videos are performed by Meryl Streep , Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt.
This video tells the story of Andy, a girl who just graduated from school and wanted to be a reporter. Because she was not looking for a job, she by chance entered a top fashion magazine Runway as an assistant to the editor-in-chief.
Editor-in-chief Miranda is a workaholic and extreme perfectionist. She treats everyone inhumane and sarcastic.
Under her strict requirements, Andy went from a casually dressed and clumsy newcomer to becoming a fashionable, capable and efficient workplace expert.
video at the end, Andy found that she didn't like this kind of life, so she resolutely left the magazine, found her original intention, and finally found her lost happiness.
Through this movie, we can re-understand the relationship between life and work, and inspire us to think more deeply: What kind of life is more worth living?
1. Why do poetry and the distance become the miserable thing in front of you
Why do we change our original intentions?
An important reason is that we will be shaped by the environment and changed by pressure.
Everyone will have dreams at the beginning, but the road to dreams is often tortuous, and sometimes we need to move forward in a roundabout way. So we often have to adopt stop-point measures and transitional strategies, but we often go astray from our dreams. Why is this happening to
?
Because humans are social animals, they are always affected by the surrounding environment and people. No matter what our initial thoughts are, once we enter an environment, the environment will produce strong pressure, and we will be pushed forward by the environment and be changed unknowingly.
Andy in the play initially dreamed of being a reporter. Because she was not looking for a job well, she by chance entered a fashion magazine as an assistant.
At the beginning, she didn't want to change her style, such as not willing to wear high heels, and even laughed at those fashionable girls.
But soon, under the pressure of his boss and colleagues, Andy gradually changed himself.
From being reluctant to wear high heels at the beginning, to being fashionable later; work also changed from being dizzy, clumsy to being capable and neat.
Andy completely changed herself for this job until she finally found out that she became what she didn't like.
Psychologist William James said: " The deepest desire of human nature is to gain the appreciation and recognition of others. This is what distinguishes humans from other animals."
Humans are group animals, and we always hope to integrate into the environment and gain recognition and a sense of belonging.
Seeking recognition from others is a universal psychological need of mankind and an important and universal driving force for human behavior.
If we cannot meet other people's expectations and are denied or criticized by others, we will feel tremendous pressure. Therefore, we often unconsciously adjust our behavior, meet other people's expectations, and relieve psychological stress and anxiety.
The end result is that our behavior is always reshaped by the environment.
There is a famous "Rosenthal effect" in psychology, also known as the "Leather Marion effect". The core principle is that other people's expectations and external authority will affect individuals' cognition of themselves. Self-cognition will produce corresponding behaviors, and behavior will affect others' perceptions of you. In this cycle, expectations will eventually become reality.
Therefore, no matter what our original intention is, once we enter a circle, the surrounding environment and people around us, they will convey their expectations and opinions to us. In order to gain recognition, we have to change ourselves to adapt to the environment.
originally chose to do something, but over time, these behaviors will shape us in reverse, and we gradually get used to it, and temporary transition has become a habit and normal for us.
For example, the famous theory of boiling frogs in warm water, we go with the flow and forget our original intention; we are trapped in it, gradually unable to extricate ourselves, we are full of stress and anxiety, we become unhappy, and eventually become lost lambs.
So, we are gradually changed by the environment and become what we didn't like.
2. Work-life balance
There is no free lunch in the world. In order to meet the expectations of others, we need to pay a lot. We work hard to work overtime, give up rest and accompany our family, and we have been under too much pressure. In the video, Andy's boss Miranda has almost abnormal work requirements. Andy almost exhausted her energy to meet her request. She lives all about work, she has no time to meet with her friends, has no time to accompany her to see her father, and has no time to celebrate her boyfriend's birthday. In the end, Andy and her boyfriend had a rift in their relationship and decided to separate for a while.
The boyfriend told her that he felt that Andy didn't care about him at all. He thought that the only thing Andy really cared about her boss Miranda, and work was the center of Andy's life.
In order to get what we want, we put all our time, energy, intimacy, and even health into our lives.
We forgot the purpose behind pursuing these things in the first place was for happiness.
We went too far to forget why we set out.
So the tool becomes the purpose and dominates our lives.
In the book "Self-Search", Fromm reversing this tool and purpose is called human alienation.
Flom pointed out that after these concepts were deeply rooted in people's hearts, we also regarded ourselves as a tool, constantly catered to the needs of others, and ultimately ignored our true needs.
Nietzsche proposes "God is dead", while Fromm says "people are dead". Yes, in the process of chasing various goals, constantly catering to others, and adapting to the environment, we gradually lose ourselves.
3. How to get lost and seek a correct and meaningful life
Only by following our hearts and creating our own life according to our true wishes can we truly feel happiness. Andy in the video
finally decided to find her original intention. She gave up her job she didn't like, found her boyfriend, apologized sincerely, and the two reconciled; at the same time, she decided to pursue her original dream - to be a reporter. At the end of the video, Andy felt unprecedented happiness and showed a heartless and long-lost smile on her face.
So, how should we get back to and find our original intention again?
I think the following three steps can be adopted:
Step 1, establishing a self-internal evaluation system
Famous psychologist Adler said: Most of people's worries come from wanting to satisfy the expectations of others.
Therefore, if you want to pursue a happy life and gain freedom, you must first step out of other people's expectations and vision.
Psychology believes that there are two systems for a person's self-evaluation— external evaluation system and internal evaluation system.
external evaluation system mainly relies on other people's opinions to evaluate yourself. She cares about other people's evaluations, and will agree with or even internalize other people's evaluations of yourself, thinking that this is what you are.
People who rely on external evaluations first consider other people's opinions when doing things, and they are prone to ignore their true feelings. Their motivation to do things is often to gain recognition from others, money, etc., that is, " external motivation".
internal evaluation system, mainly relies on one's own inner opinions to evaluate oneself, and does not care or rely on others' evaluations.
People who use the internal evaluation system respect their feelings when doing things; their motivation to do things comes from their hearts, that is, the "internal motivation" of .
Everyone has both external and internal evaluation systems. The key is which one do you think is more important and which system is the core dominant of self-evaluation. Only by using an internal evaluation system can you get out of the shackles of others’ expectations, live according to your own wishes, and stimulate your true motivation. Andy at the end of the video
undoubtedly adopted an internal evaluation mechanism. She relied on her inner feelings and made the most correct choice for herself.
In fact, almost all successful people rely on the motivation brought by internal evaluation, Buffett , Jobs, and Jack Ma are all like this.
Buffett said that the most precious teaching in his life was that his father repeatedly said to him: "Respect your own feelings. The more unique your feelings are, the more others talk to you, and you need to believe in your feelings."
Buffett believes that people should not care too much about what others think. The key is your own internal motivation, or an "inner score card".
He said: "The key to dealing with people is whether you have an inner measure or rely on external standards. If all your focus is on how others view you, rather than who you are, then you will be deeply troubled by external standards."
When we can listen to our inner voice, establish our own internal evaluation system, no longer rely on other people's evaluation, and everything we do is no longer to meet other people's expectations, we gain freedom.
Only then can we gain real motivation and truly be happy.
Step 2, Find your own unique life value
Maugh wrote in " Moon and Sixpence ": On the street full of sixpence, he looked up and saw the moonlight.
In the play, Miranda likes her fashion upper class life and status, and she is intrigued and uses any means for her status. Andy doesn't want to become that person. She prefers to dress casually.
The underlying logic and foundation of everyone’s life are values hidden deep in everyone’s heart.
Although values sound abstract, their impact on our lives is tangible.
The bottom layer of values is our deep emotions, which are not even affected by reason. Just like you like someone or hate something, it is difficult to change your attitude even if you want to convince yourself rationally.
Values determine our decisions, choices and true feelings.
The most important decision in life, who to marry, which city to go to, etc., is often determined by intuition, and intuition comes from our underlying values.
It can be said that values determine the direction of our life, and being loyal to ourselves means being loyal to our own values.
There is no unified answer to values. Different people have different reactions on the same thing, which is a very personal choice.
Russell said: "The issue of 'value' is completely outside the scope of knowledge. That is to say, when we assert that this or that has 'value', we are expressing our feelings, not expressing a fact that even if our feelings are different, they are still reliable."
Many successful and valuable lives in reality have nothing to do with money, rights, and reputation.
famous ones such as "Sushi God" Jiro Ono, "Tempura God" Tetsuya Saotou. They all focus on one thing throughout their lives, strive for excellence, and spend their lives on a few square meters, gaining great satisfaction and achievements, and thus won the respect of others.
These masters have very small stores, with only a few seats. They never thought of expanding their stores or opening a few more chain stores. For them, wealth is far less important. They even deliberately stay away from the temptation of money, believing that once they have greed for money, their careers will be affected and their inner feelings will no longer be pure.
Psychoanalysis psychology has a pair of concepts: true self and false self.
People with true self are constructed around their own feelings; people with false self are constructed around their feelings.
Everyone should find their own unique life value based on their inner feelings and establish their true self in order to create their own life.
Maslow 's "self-realization", Rogers' "become yourself", Winnie Cotter's "let your instincts flow out like a sea of surging", Montessori's spiritual embryonic theory, etc., are essentially the same meaning, which is to exert the fundamental inner strength.
The so-called growth is to live out this true self.
Everyone is born a unique orphan version, but most people live as pirated versions.
Find your inner voice and pursue your true life.
Everyone has their own unique talents and mission. Only by finding and living their true self can you live your life.
Step 3: Maintaining a balance in personal life
Life is not a single aspect. In addition to work and achievements, there are many valuable things
Life is a lot more valuable than wealth: health, friends, family, hobbies, etc.
A person is composed of the body, emotions, brain, and spirit. Each part has his needs. If we ignore any part, we will have problems in our lives.
Lack of nutrition and rest can lead to physical illness, lack of relationships and love can lead to mental and emotional problems, lack of knowledge and attention can make us dull, and lack of meaning can bring about emptiness and disillusionment in life.
The life we build includes many fields, such as work, family, friends, entertainment, etc., and we cannot ignore one thing and the other.
In reality, many people miss the most important things in their lives for the sake of their career development, such as the company of their family, the growth of their children, and their own hobbies. Many people even sacrifice their health for work, and ultimately they won’t get the most out of their money.
Coca-Cola CEO once talked about the relationship between life and work:
Life is like a game where you keep throwing five balls in the air. These five balls are work, family, health, friends and soul. And you have to roll these five balls very hard and not let them land.
only works is a rubber ball, and if you miss the opportunity to drop it, it will still bounce back.
But family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. Once you miss it, they may lose a corner, leaving irreversible marks, marks, damage, or even shattered, and they will never be the same as before.
You must understand this principle and work hard to balance your life.
Wealth and achievements are important, but if we look at our lives from the perspective of a holistic life, we will find that there are still many things that we need to spend our energy to take care of. These things are equally important and should not be neglected.
Arand Burton wrote in his book "Anxiety of Identity": "The core problem in the modern social value system is that we seriously distort what is the most important thing in life, and raise the process of material accumulation to the highest level of achievement in life. However, in a more realistic and comprehensive value assessment system in life, material accumulation is at best one of the many factors that determine the direction of our life."
Summary
Life is rich and colorful, and it contains a variety of values. Everyone is a unique individual, and every meaningful life is worth living.
changes require courage and methods. Finally, let’s review the three steps mentioned in this article:
Step 1, establish a self-internal evaluation system to give you motivation.
Step 2: Find your own unique value and let you find the direction of your life.
Step 3: Maintain a balance in your personal life and allow you to achieve healthy and dynamic development.
The most important thing in life is to create your own life according to your highest wishes.
Jobs said: "Remember, you will die, your life is limited, don't waste time on repeating other people's lives."
Oscar Wilde said: "Be yourself, because someone else has done it."
We need to face our hearts, believe in our true feelings, and think about our lives seriously. Only by living our true self can we live up to this life.
Everyone has both external and internal evaluation systems. The key is which one do you think is more important and which system is the core dominant of self-evaluation. Only by using an internal evaluation system can you get out of the shackles of others’ expectations, live according to your own wishes, and stimulate your true motivation. Andy at the end of the video
undoubtedly adopted an internal evaluation mechanism. She relied on her inner feelings and made the most correct choice for herself.
In fact, almost all successful people rely on the motivation brought by internal evaluation, Buffett , Jobs, and Jack Ma are all like this.
Buffett said that the most precious teaching in his life was that his father repeatedly said to him: "Respect your own feelings. The more unique your feelings are, the more others talk to you, and you need to believe in your feelings."
Buffett believes that people should not care too much about what others think. The key is your own internal motivation, or an "inner score card".
He said: "The key to dealing with people is whether you have an inner measure or rely on external standards. If all your focus is on how others view you, rather than who you are, then you will be deeply troubled by external standards."
When we can listen to our inner voice, establish our own internal evaluation system, no longer rely on other people's evaluation, and everything we do is no longer to meet other people's expectations, we gain freedom.
Only then can we gain real motivation and truly be happy.
Step 2, Find your own unique life value
Maugh wrote in " Moon and Sixpence ": On the street full of sixpence, he looked up and saw the moonlight.
In the play, Miranda likes her fashion upper class life and status, and she is intrigued and uses any means for her status. Andy doesn't want to become that person. She prefers to dress casually.
The underlying logic and foundation of everyone’s life are values hidden deep in everyone’s heart.
Although values sound abstract, their impact on our lives is tangible.
The bottom layer of values is our deep emotions, which are not even affected by reason. Just like you like someone or hate something, it is difficult to change your attitude even if you want to convince yourself rationally.
Values determine our decisions, choices and true feelings.
The most important decision in life, who to marry, which city to go to, etc., is often determined by intuition, and intuition comes from our underlying values.
It can be said that values determine the direction of our life, and being loyal to ourselves means being loyal to our own values.
There is no unified answer to values. Different people have different reactions on the same thing, which is a very personal choice.
Russell said: "The issue of 'value' is completely outside the scope of knowledge. That is to say, when we assert that this or that has 'value', we are expressing our feelings, not expressing a fact that even if our feelings are different, they are still reliable."
Many successful and valuable lives in reality have nothing to do with money, rights, and reputation.
famous ones such as "Sushi God" Jiro Ono, "Tempura God" Tetsuya Saotou. They all focus on one thing throughout their lives, strive for excellence, and spend their lives on a few square meters, gaining great satisfaction and achievements, and thus won the respect of others.
These masters have very small stores, with only a few seats. They never thought of expanding their stores or opening a few more chain stores. For them, wealth is far less important. They even deliberately stay away from the temptation of money, believing that once they have greed for money, their careers will be affected and their inner feelings will no longer be pure.
Psychoanalysis psychology has a pair of concepts: true self and false self.
People with true self are constructed around their own feelings; people with false self are constructed around their feelings.
Everyone should find their own unique life value based on their inner feelings and establish their true self in order to create their own life.
Maslow 's "self-realization", Rogers' "become yourself", Winnie Cotter's "let your instincts flow out like a sea of surging", Montessori's spiritual embryonic theory, etc., are essentially the same meaning, which is to exert the fundamental inner strength.
The so-called growth is to live out this true self.
Everyone is born a unique orphan version, but most people live as pirated versions.
Find your inner voice and pursue your true life.
Everyone has their own unique talents and mission. Only by finding and living their true self can you live your life.
Step 3: Maintaining a balance in personal life
Life is not a single aspect. In addition to work and achievements, there are many valuable things
Life is a lot more valuable than wealth: health, friends, family, hobbies, etc.
A person is composed of the body, emotions, brain, and spirit. Each part has his needs. If we ignore any part, we will have problems in our lives.
Lack of nutrition and rest can lead to physical illness, lack of relationships and love can lead to mental and emotional problems, lack of knowledge and attention can make us dull, and lack of meaning can bring about emptiness and disillusionment in life.
The life we build includes many fields, such as work, family, friends, entertainment, etc., and we cannot ignore one thing and the other.
In reality, many people miss the most important things in their lives for the sake of their career development, such as the company of their family, the growth of their children, and their own hobbies. Many people even sacrifice their health for work, and ultimately they won’t get the most out of their money.
Coca-Cola CEO once talked about the relationship between life and work:
Life is like a game where you keep throwing five balls in the air. These five balls are work, family, health, friends and soul. And you have to roll these five balls very hard and not let them land.
only works is a rubber ball, and if you miss the opportunity to drop it, it will still bounce back.
But family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. Once you miss it, they may lose a corner, leaving irreversible marks, marks, damage, or even shattered, and they will never be the same as before.
You must understand this principle and work hard to balance your life.
Wealth and achievements are important, but if we look at our lives from the perspective of a holistic life, we will find that there are still many things that we need to spend our energy to take care of. These things are equally important and should not be neglected.
Arand Burton wrote in his book "Anxiety of Identity": "The core problem in the modern social value system is that we seriously distort what is the most important thing in life, and raise the process of material accumulation to the highest level of achievement in life. However, in a more realistic and comprehensive value assessment system in life, material accumulation is at best one of the many factors that determine the direction of our life."
Summary
Life is rich and colorful, and it contains a variety of values. Everyone is a unique individual, and every meaningful life is worth living.
changes require courage and methods. Finally, let’s review the three steps mentioned in this article:
Step 1, establish a self-internal evaluation system to give you motivation.
Step 2: Find your own unique value and let you find the direction of your life.
Step 3: Maintain a balance in your personal life and allow you to achieve healthy and dynamic development.
The most important thing in life is to create your own life according to your highest wishes.
Jobs said: "Remember, you will die, your life is limited, don't waste time on repeating other people's lives."
Oscar Wilde said: "Be yourself, because someone else has done it."
We need to face our hearts, believe in our true feelings, and think about our lives seriously. Only by living our true self can we live up to this life.
