When you were a child, did your father help you take a bath or did your mother help you take a bath?
In that era when there was no bathroom at home and everyone had to go to a public bathhouse, many little boys in Northeast China had the experience of being taken to a female bathhouse by their mothers to take a bath.
Even now, similar things will occasionally happen.
Before, a three-year-old boy from Changchun followed his mother and grandma to take a bath in the public bath. Because he was overweight, his parents were furious and not only cursed on the spot, but also condemned him online, which caused heated discussion.
Later, some netizens also encountered the incident where grandma and mother wanted to take a 9-year-old boy into the girls' bathtub to take a bath but couldn't make a fuss to call the police.
Usually, as children grow up, they will feel shy and do not want their bodies to be easily seen, especially the opposite sex, even if the opposite sex is their father and brother.
, but there are exceptions.
Japanese actress Naomi Kitani went to TV for help: She is already 23 years old, but she still takes a bath with her father and brother at home.
After reading this news, netizens said they couldn’t understand it. It was so weird.
She revealed on the show: At home, in addition to her and her father, she has three brothers, and everyone takes turns taking baths in the same bathtub without any suspicion.
When the host asked why he was so old, he took a shower with his brother and father. Her answer turned out to be: takes too much time to take a bath one by one. The reason for
This is a bit unconvincing. Are the Japanese people so able to save their lives?
is at Beijian’s home, and the bathroom is also an important space for "honest meeting" to talk about your worries. The father, daughter, brother and sister will also talk about work and love during the bath.
When the brother and his sister take a bath, they will discuss the difficulties they encounter in love with their sister. Sometimes the two will watch anime videos on their mobile phones together.
When asked by the host, won’t this be embarrassing? The brother said, "H sister is like a buddy, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. "
After the brother took a bath, he changed his father to come in , and the girl would talk to his father about work, family travel plans, etc. During the entire chat, they all seemed very natural and relaxed, without a trace of strange feeling.
Although the whole family thinks this is nothing, this habit that has been maintained for more than 20 years has also troubled Kitanami Naomi. She said that friends around will look at themselves with strange eyes.
Keijian was also very distressed. didn't know whether to continue. Once the mixed bath stopped, he was afraid that his father would be injured.
What surprised me the most was that after listening to her story, the host said, "There are 100 families, and there is no need to compare one of the habits of other families." So the advice he gave was that he did not have to care about other people's opinions, and he should continue to take a bath together as usual in the future.
At first glance, what you said makes sense. It seems that it has made this matter more than you can't accept other people's habit of wearing tinted glasses, but you are not tolerant enough. Force us to recognize this habit in order to admit that we are an inclusive person.
But the clever netizen immediately asked the key to the question: , then why did she need to wash it twice? After washing with my brother, I have to wash with my father again? If you want to save time, why don’t you choose to have sex with your brother and your father, and your daughter and your mother? Is there nothing to talk about between dad and brother?
The reason why we think this habit should be changed is not because they want their family to gain the understanding of others or care about other people's opinions. Instead, as parents, we should keep clear boundaries with our children so that we can better protect our children and let our children grow up healthily, both physically and mentally.
Both parents love their children very much, regard them as an indispensable part of their lives, and are also the closest relatives to each other.
Some parents often like to say, "You are just a piece of meat that fell from me." "I also gave you a bath when I was a child."
or "As a child, no matter how old he is, he is still a child in the eyes of his parents."
But the more he loves him, the more he must be clear that the child is not his own private property, nor is he a child who will never grow up. He and his privacy should be respected the same as others.
When we were young, we helped children who were not able to act independently to take baths and breastfeed out of the responsibility of being parents. As they grow up, we must clarify the boundaries between them and their children as well due to the responsibility of being parents.
Otherwise, it may not only cause physical and mental harm to the child and himself, but it may also easily turn the child into a "giant baby" and " Mama's " and it is difficult to adapt to social life and cannot get along with others normally.
Some netizens complained that their 28-year-old husband was asked by his mother-in-law to change his pants in the living room, and the door was full of guests. It was obviously not far from going to the bathroom to change clothes, but my mother-in-law said, " is okay, it's a child. "
We often see netizens complaining about similar things online: my mother-in-law changes clothes in front of her husband, and my mother-in-law also bathes her husband, etc. The comments are filled with voices such as "mama's baby", "unacceptable" and "not distinguishing, are you keeping it for the New Year?"
But no matter what parents think, children cannot always be children and will grow up. The child in your eyes will still treat him as an ordinary person.
If you don't teach him these boundaries while he grows up, he may never understand. It may even cause harm to the child.
In a Korean program, a senior high school girl said she could not accept her father's excessive physical contact with her and was so scared that she dared not go home.
She said that her father always kissed her and licked her face with his tongue.
When watching TV or movies, you will definitely hold your daughter all the way and touch her belly from time to time. . .
When washing dishes, my father would come over and touch her butt.
father's friend came to visit her home, and the father also called her to deliberately call her and kissed her in front of her, as if she was swearing sovereignty, but her daughter felt embarrassed.
Because of their behavior too intimate, it can sometimes cause misunderstandings, making the daughter feel very distressed.
even her father would open the door and come in directly when she was taking a shower.
My daughter didn't want her father to go into the bathroom to help take a bath, but her father scolded the girl for being ignorant and said, " The body of the child is my body, ."
In the face of the teacher's persuasion, the father would be furious and questioned: "What are you?"
This... I was also very angry after reading it. A father who disrespects his daughter without boundaries, why are you still confident?
I think this can be considered a crime!
When the daughter has clearly expressed her annoyance, her father will also come up with his "god logic" to explain it as if nothing had happened. If the daughter really thinks this is the normal way of getting along with people, then when one day someone with bad intentions does the same thing to her, perhaps she will not think that she is being hurt, but instead thinks that others are thinking of expressing their love.
Although there are few such extreme examples in life, they have many of the same ideas, thinking that parents and children were intimate and boundless before, but this idea not only brings psychological troubles to children, but also substantial harm.
In recent years, children have been sexually assaulted from time to time, and some children do not even know that they have been abused because their family members have never said that this is wrong and cannot be done.
People's Daily once reported that a girl was "suspectedly molested" by a strange man in the elevator for 30 seconds, and was even taken out of the elevator on a floor that was not her own home. However, she did not resist throughout the whole process...
In a hospital in Chongqing, a netizen photographed the girl sitting on the man's body. The man put his hand into the girl's pants, and he took out the hand from time to time and put it under his nose to smell it... It was later confirmed that the man was the girl's uncle.
During the whole process, the girl was playing with her phone completely numbly and did not make any resistance. It can be imagined that in her opinion, this person took what she did for granted and did not even think there was anything wrong with it.
Parents cannot distinguish the boundaries. In addition to causing harm to their children, they are also prone to mutual dependence, giving birth to "giant babies" and "mama babies" who change their color when they talk about it and bear parents who have no bottom line to love their children crazy.
For giant babies, there is no boundary and they are not clear about the responsibilities they should bear.
Taiwanese actress Di Ying Extremely loves her children. Her son, , Sun Anzuo, is like a little emperor at home. He is afraid of flying when he holds it in his palm, and is afraid of melting when he holds it in his mouth. Without education, scolding, or even making mistakes, people always follow him to "wipe his butt".
Usually children are weaned at the age of one or two. Incredible that Sun Anzuo was not weaned until he was 12 years old.
even Di Ying has been sleeping in the same bed with her son for 15 years, and asked her son to touch her chest to sleep. It was not until her son had a physiological reaction when she slept with her that she realized that the child was growing up and it was time to divide the room.
Di Ying's face was filled with pride and complacent when she talked about these things on the show.
, Sun Anzuo, who grew up in excessive spoiling, developed an arrogant and arrogant personality. While studying in the United States, he told his friends that he was preparing to attack the school and told his friends not to go to school, so as not to be injured by accident. When his friends heard it, they called the police. Police arrested Sun Anzuo at his home and found a bunch of weapons, 1,600 rounds of bullets, and bulletproof vests.
When the mother who pampered her son without any bottom line saw him in prison, she could only cry without tears.
Some time ago, a woman who was still in confinement called the police crying and said: Her husband is missing.
However, the reason is ridiculous. My father ran away from home because his daughter was just born and had to feed her milk powder and change her diapers, which made him not sleeping properly and unable to play games...
and parents who rely on their children were even more like they were obsessed with it. We have said before that because my daughter got married, she felt that she had lost her daughter, so her father actually chose to jump off the building.
Love without boundaries is as terrible as an uncontrolled flame. Its endless and unpredictable spread may burn yourself and hurt others.
When fire is used well by humans, it is a sacred thing that can bring light, hope, warmth and satisfaction, and once it floods, it will become a demon that devours everything.
The same is true for parents’ love for their children.
knows restraint. Love with boundaries will warm up family affection, while love without any scruples will bring troubles and hurts.
It is said that in the United States, after the age of 5, the father cannot bathe her. And they will pay special attention to the line between adults and minors.
There is also a classic dialogue in "The Big Bang Theory" often mentioned by netizens under this news:
Howard showed Leonard the baby's bare butt photos, and Leonard praised it for being so cute. Howard said I liked it and I sent it to you.
Leonard said: No, it is cute to put it in your phone, it is a crime to put it in my phone!
Children are indeed very cute, but every adult should know how expresses their love for them within clear boundaries , especially for children's parents.
