Recently, a news broke in the Taiwanese entertainment circle, celebrity couples Sun Peng , Di Ying 's son Sun Anzuo was arrested in the United States.
The police found pistols, bulletproof vest and more than 1,600 bullets from his home in the United States. What's more serious is that he threatened to launch a shooting at school.
It is reported that the couple has hired ace lawyer and are determined to spend tens of millions to rescue their son. After the
incident, everyone focused on Di Ying's "no way to teach her children". Earlier, Di Ying shared her parenting experience on many variety shows. Her extreme desire for her son can scare people to breathe in a silence every time.
On the show, the straightforward guest once gave Di Ying's son two "advices":
It is obvious that Di Ying has had a big problem in parenting methods and should bear great responsibility for her son's current dilemma.
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This photo of Di Ying when she was young is believed to be able to evoke many people's childhood memories. She looks sweet and pitiful, and she has played Zhan Zhao's junior sister in "Bao Qingtian".
The female stars of that era made their beauty and talent to enter the entertainment industry. According to a certain weekly magazine, Di Ying performed everywhere before she graduated from elementary school. She did have a very heavy "cultural habit". The most typical manifestation of
is that she once showed off how she dealt with a Hong Kong actress who was "playing big names" on the show.
In the Taiwanese entertainment industry that emphasizes seniority, Di Ying, who debuted early, was used to being a "big sister". She continued her domineering and authoritarian style to raising children.
For example, has almost strict requirements on children's meals : 11-year-old children should eat the food of an adult.
She once said very proudly that she is already 148 cm at the age of 11, and it is all due to her own attention to the children's meals.
In order to get the amount of food for the child, she has to spend 7 hours watching every day, and the child's meal lasts about 2 hours.
Sun Anzuo's foods were prepared in accordance with the advice of the nutritionist, and placed on an exclusive plate. There are fixed quotas for beef and deep-sea fish and shrimps several times a week.
It is reported that once Sun Anzuo went to a classmate’s house for dinner. Di Ying learned that his classmate was only entertaining him for porridge. She felt sorry for her son’s eating too shabby food and was never allowed to interact with his classmates again.
Di Ying said: Eating is very important, this child is a pillar of the country.
Hearing this, Xiao S and Cai Kangyong couldn't help but complain: This is simply a horror movie!
stipulates children's actions according to their own requirements, and Di Ying does more than just this small thing about eating. She must have a "sense of control" for almost every clip in life.
For example, academics -
Di Ying's friend joked that if Sun Anzuo did not score 100 points in a certain exam, his mother would "beat until he died."
Di Ying said, this is exaggerated! Her standard for her child is 80 points. Of course, if she fails the exam, she will still threaten to "beat your butt and bloom."
Once the child scored 60 points, Di Ying immediately called to ask what happened to the head teacher and what happened. He felt relieved when he heard the teacher say that the exercise was difficult.
Because I was very careful in my studies, Sun Anzuo didn’t have much time to watch cartoons or play games in his childhood. I go to bed on time at 9 o'clock every night. Of course it is not that easy to do this, so Di Ying thought of it: to arrange her work and life entirely according to her children's work and schedule.
For example, when the child is resting, he will not receive notifications, go to bed at the same time as the child, get up early, and send him to and from school every day.
She has no friends or personal fun, and she is completely devoted to raising (controlling) her son, and then she "kidnapped" the child with her "full dedication".
— Once the child shows signs of rebellion and decline in learning and living ability, they will immediately start the big truth and complaint mode:
Look, mothers could have their own life, but for you, I adjusted my work and rest, no friends, stared at you every day, and asked you to get higher scores. All this is for you!
Di Ying has said this to the child since she was 1 year old!
It can be imagined that under this high-pressure mode, Sun Anzuo's growth career is always in extreme self-contradictory and self-negation. On the one hand, my mother has high standards for daily life and study, and on the other hand, she has a sense of guilt that is difficult to liberate psychologically (she is all for my own good).
What kind of person will Sun Anzuo become? His approach has given the answer.
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After the incident, there was endless revelations about Sun Anzuo, and one is very intriguing -
Parents of students also said that Sun Anzuo is very famous in school. The reason for his reputation is not because his parents are artists, but because of his weirdness. "He is polite, has a high grade, and has a good reputation, but he often wears military coats and gas masks after class or on the way to the library. I was used to it and didn't think anything was wrong, but the school began to pay attention to him and asked his parents to communicate and tutor. It was not until the graduation ceremony happened and he came to the stage and shouted, "I'm going to blow up the school." The school insisted on asking parents to persuade him to leave him."
▲Sun Anzuo's photo on social networks
This is what parents evaluated when Sun Anzuo was in his first and second grade at Kangqiao International School in Taiwan.
Wearing a gas mask, he always shouts "I want to blow up the school"... His strange behavior is different from his peers, but in fact, it should have long aroused Di Ying's alertness.
Under his mother's long-term strict control, perhaps he is using this particularly exaggerated way to express his inner helplessness and dissatisfaction.
The child’s heart is like a balloon. The pressure brought by his mother’s control is constantly injected, but there is no outlet for catharsis. Over time, the balloon will explode and the child's mentality will collapse.
This reminds people of Wang Meng, the person who posted ten thousand words to accuse his parents and blocked them. He is the top scorer in the college entrance examination, an undergraduate student at Peking University, and a graduate student studying in the United States, but he does not shy away from his weaknesses in his personality: introvert, sensitive, and poor sociable.
He attributed the reason for his breakup with his family to his parents' "over-care" since childhood.
The parents know all his friends, and their circle of friends is almost strictly controlled in their own courtyard. Even if I wear clothes, I can only buy them according to my mother's wishes.
was admitted to Peking University, far away from his hometown, thinking that he could escape from his parents. Unexpectedly, my aunt in Beijing was entrusted by her parents to keep calling him, and even quietly contacted his classmates to find out about his situation.
After going to the United States, his parents found another "old friend" to take care of him.
From every matter, it is just a reaction of parents to their meticulous care for their children. However, the high-intensity "care" that has been going on for decades has made Wang Meng feel like he is being monitored. Over time, his rebellious emotions aroused, and eventually developed to the point where he did not want to have any contact with his parents.
, but his parents looked puzzled: Isn’t this a sign of care and love for children by all parents?
Yes, no one can deny the love of parents for their children. Does Di Ying love children? It's just too much love. However, everything she did to her son actually had a very strong compensatory mentality behind it.
For example, she said that she was obsessed with her son eating because she and her husband were not tall and hoped that the child could get the best nutrition.
And her obsession with her son's studies is probably related to her failure to receive a good education when she was young.
It’s a pity that when she became famous and wanted to give all the best to her son, she forgot that these "best" were just what she thought. Before
, there was a topic discussed in "The Debater" as follows: If you can customize a perfect life for your child with one click, do you want to customize it?
This is probably what Di Ying wants to do, to customize the perfect life that she once could not get for her son.
But she never thought: This is not perfect in the child’s heart at all!
Children will eventually grow into independent individuals, rather than live for the person their parents want. If you don’t want to understand this and forget the boundaries, your parents will become true and authoritarians.
Now, we still hear many complaints from parents: I do all this for the good of my child, and for his future, I have paid so much, why am I wrong?
Today, I want to refute it with a Dante's words: "All the tyrants in this world commit violence in the name of love, but this is not love." You think you are making a perfect life, but in fact - it is just creating a disaster.
The pictures in this article are from "Kangxi is Coming" and the Internet
