There is a saying:
"Parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans for them."
For Chinese families, many parents live for their children most of their lives.
buys property for children and worrys about their children's marriage. Even after children get married, they will still care about their children in various ways.
In the hearts of many parents, they do this, which is an expression of love.
But in fact, excessive love will only make children develop the habit of dependence and ultimately deprive children of their right to grow.
Everyone has the responsibility that everyone has to bear, and everyone has the path they have to take. Some things children can contribute money and effort as parents, but some things must be borne by their children themselves.
In the old age, no matter how rich you are, don’t give these three kinds of money to your children.
Money for their lives
Before children become adults, it is an obligation to raise children and create good living conditions for them.
However, when a child becomes an adult, this obligation has been completed, and the child must have his own means of making a living.
After all, you cannot adopt children for the rest of your life. What you should leave to your children is their ability to make a living by themselves.
TV series " Love Centimeters ", Guan Zhenlei grew up holding in the palm of his parents. Whatever Guan Zhenlei wants, his parents will give him.
It is precisely because of this kind of spoiling that Guan Zhenlei becomes selfish and does not seek motivation. Even if he graduated from college and worked, he still asks his parents for money and his sister for money.
Not only did his parents stop Guan Zhenlei's behavior of leniency, but instead not only gave money to him, but also asked his daughter to give money to his son.
In the end, Guan Zhenlei became increasingly uncontrollable, not only losing his marriage, but also making the family restless.
In this world, family affection, especially the love between parents and their children, is a nature.
But we must understand that true love is not blindly giving and satisfying materially, but rather letting them learn to be independent on their own.
When they become adults, they have to take responsibility for their own lives.
Maybe life will be harder, but only after suffering can they learn the skills, understand responsibility, and finally live a good life.
The money they enjoy
Many people believe in this sentence:
"No matter how poor you are, you can't be poor in education, and no matter how hard you are, you can't be hard in children."
Looking around, how many parents are struggling to save money and will satisfy their children's wishes to enjoy the big brand;
can endure hardships and suffer, but they must not let their children feel a little pressure on life.
But I don’t know that too many people have ruined their lives by this “love that doesn’t know how to refuse”.
has seen a story like this:
has an old couple. Both of them are retired employees of state-owned enterprises. The two of them have a pension of more than 10,000 yuan per month.
In theory, with such conditions, the old couple should live a very comfortable life.
However, they live a very tight life every day and are reluctant to even eat meat for a month. Is
particularly incredible? So where have their money gone? All of them were handed over to my son who was vain and enjoyed.
Their son is over 20 years old. Not only does he not look for a job, but he is always hanging out with a group of friends.
Wear brand-name clothes, buy the most expensive mobile phones, and eat with luxury.
not only squandered the savings of the old couple over the years, but also squandered the pensions of the two people every month.
Someone advised the old couple not to spoil their children too much. But the old couple sighed: "He is our son. We don't care, who cares!"
In the end, their son became more and more messy and his life was in a mess.
It is easy to go from frugality to extravagance, but it is difficult to go from extravagance to frugality.
If you always indulge your children in a luxurious life as a parent, you will eventually develop the habit of luxury and comfort.
In the end, the love you think will ruin your child's life.
The money they guaranteed for
people are always used to relying on them.
When a person is always trusted, he always feels that no matter what he does, he will have someone to protect himself, so it will be difficult for him to mature.
As parents, some things must be learned to let their children bear by themselves. When they experience the pain and gain experience, they can face the storms of the future alone.
Otherwise, a little setback or dilemma may crush them.
knows such an old couple.
Two people always worry about their children. If the children have any difficulties, they will come forward to solve them. If the children owe money, they will help pay it back.
is like this because, they have to support everything and they provide the bottom line, which makes their children more and more bold and immature.
Not only do they borrow money everywhere, but they also do not take responsibility when encountering problems, they will hide behind the old couple.
Until later, he even borrowed a huge amount of money to trade stocks because of his hot mind, and eventually lost all of them.
This is the originally happy family, with nothing overnight. There is a line in
that says:
"How can you see the rainbow without experiencing the wind and rain?"
people always need to experience something themselves, take on something themselves, and solve some problems themselves in order to truly grow.
So, don’t always treat yourself as a safe haven for your children. When encountering things, know how to let them bear them appropriately.
This is not only a training for them, but also a learning to take responsibility.
Psychologist Li Xue said:
"A body can only bear one soul. If the control of parents is not airtight, the child is actually mentally dead."
Parents love their children may be an instinctive thing and an admirable emotion.
But we must know that not all giving can make children live better.
The three kinds of money above, no matter at any time, I hope you don’t give it to your children. This is a kind of wisdom and a kind of true love.
END
Author: Li Yu Weiliang, a post-90s writer who can be rational and emotional, likes to express personal opinions in words, bringing you spiritual healing, emotional resolving, and life insights.
