This is the story of the 789th real person we tell
My name is Jiajun, a young man born in the 1990s in Jiangsu. After graduating from university, I went to Japan to study and wanted to improve my Japanese advantages in the workplace, but I didn’t expect to stay for 6 years.
In the past 6 years, I have seen different customs and many customs are surprising. I also caused a lot of trouble because of this, which made me suffer!
Fortunately, I met a Japanese girl. Her family loved Chinese culture and recognized me very much. She is also working hard to learn Chinese to prepare for her future life in China.
What is luck? , in my opinion, it may not be a pie falling from the sky, nor a lottery winning prize, or it may be that the car happened to drive when it arrived at the station; it suddenly rained, and I just took an umbrella; I was looking forward to love, and I met a person who had a soul in my heart.
is not one step earlier, not one step later, everything is just right.
(My Japanese girlfriend and me)
I was born in an ordinary family in Yangzhou, Jiangsu Province in 1993, and my parents are both self-employed. Dad is a typical "Chinese-style dad", serious and old-fashioned, and strict with me; mom is much more enlightened and willing to listen to the voice of children.
When I was a kid, I was shy and introverted. In the eyes of my father, a boy with such a personality is very unpromising, so he always scolds me in an attempt to portray me as a "tough guy". , but under such discipline, I became more and more at a loss.
I remember the only time my father took the initiative to take me to Shanghai, and I was so excited that I didn’t sleep well for several nights.
The day before departure, my father rode a motorcycle to take my mother and I to the bath center for a shower, and there was a car accident on the way. My father's motorcycle was hit by more than ten meters, and I had a broken left leg and I had been living in the yard for more than half a month. My trip to Shanghai naturally became a waste.
(I was a shy little fat man when I was a child)
I still remember this incident freshly. It’s not because of the car accident that caused me much pain. The main reason is that I care too much about traveling with my dad and longing to feel the warmth and care he gives me.
Although I fully understand my father after becoming an adult, I still feel that parents' timely display of care in their words and deeds will really have a great impact on their children's growth.
also reminds me that I will be a father in the future, and must give my children the love that can be seen and touched . Instead of loving me "viciously" for many years like my father, I didn't realize that fatherly loves me like a mountain, but unfortunately I have missed a lot of precious parent-child time.
8 years old, I went to elementary school and had mediocre grades. I was not the kind of child who could like to be likable, so I naturally didn’t receive attention from the teacher. The younger the heart, the more sensitive it is. The feeling of being ignored casts a shadow on my heart.
Fortunately, I have an aunt living in Shanghai. She will pick me up to her house every winter and summer vacation. My aunt has no children of her own and treats me as her own. In the warm and loving atmosphere of her house, I regained my happiness again.
(I was much cheerful when I was in college)
The three years of junior high school were my darkest time. My grades were very poor, especially in mathematics. The teacher is not just ignoring you like the primary school teacher. Instead, as long as you fail the exam, you will criticize it with harsh words.
Because of this, I ran home from school and told my mother that I didn’t want to study anymore. My mother comforted me and encouraged me not to give up until the end. She also sent me back to school and talked to the teacher. I don’t know what my mother said, but I only know that since then, the teacher has been much better with me.
Naturally, I didn’t get the key point in high school, but it was in this ordinary high school that I made a big change. Maybe it was because I had a new environment, and I invested in a new state, my grades improved, my confidence improved, and I became cheerful and optimistic.
In the 2012 college entrance examination, I was admitted to a university in Shijiazhuang, Hebei. When I was filling out the major, a teacher who cared about me suggested that I choose Japanese major . Because there are many Japanese companies in Jiangsu, he thinks that if I study this major, it will be better to find a job in Jiangsu in the future.
I don’t want it to be this major that changed my life trajectory.
(I had a very tacit understanding when Zhisha first met)
I graduated from university in 2016. Although I studied very hard, I lacked a language environment after all, so I spoke Japanese not smoothly. I feel that I have no competitiveness in entering the workplace like this, so I have the idea of studying in Japan.
Dad was hesitant about my decision, but mom respected my choice very much. With my insistence, my father finally agreed.
The moment I boarded the plane, my mood was extremely complicated. I left my hometown family's nostalgia, and my longing for a strange country was uneasy. For a moment, various emotions were intertwined, making me unintentionally browse the scenery outside the porthole.
When I came to Japan, I first studied in a language school for one year and nine months, and successfully passed the postgraduate degree in language and culture at Musashino University.
After all, it has a certain language foundation. I adapted quite quickly in Japan. In less than a month, I found a part-time job in a convenience store and earned 6,000 yuan a month. Although the money is not too much, it is barely enough for my life and has also reduced some financial burden for my family.
(I took a photo with Shisa in Yokohama. Her 1.71 meters tall is very eye-catching)
Japan is a country that pays special attention to etiquette. There are many etiquettes and many taboos. If you are not careful, you will "step on the thunder".
I remember one time, I went out to play and take photos with a Japanese classmate, and happened to meet another Japanese classmate. I enthusiastically pulled him over and asked him to stand in the middle and take a photo together. I didn't expect my classmates to turn against each other immediately, which made me confused.
I only learned afterwards that Japanese people are very taboo about taking photos of three people. Because the person in the middle was "striped" from left to right, it seemed an ominous sign in their eyes.
After making such a mistake, I realized the importance of following the local customs. To live smoothly in a place, I must understand the local customs and etiquette. So, I learned in detail about some Japanese cultural etiquette, and this study really gave me insight.
For example, I knew before that Japanese people had the etiquette of bowing when they met, so they would bow slightly every time they met. I didn’t expect that there was a lot of articles in this simple action.
(In April 2021, Zhisha and I were on Enoshima)
The angle of the Japanese bowing represents different meanings: the 15° angle is generally used to greet friends and colleagues who are more familiar with each other; the 30° angle is generally used for first meetings, and the waiters in the hotel and shopping malls also use this angle when saluting customers; the 90° etiquette is the highest, expressing special thanks or apology.
Japan, like us in China, has the habit of giving gifts, but the more expensive we Chinese people give, the more we can express our attention to each other. The "gift is light and affection is heavy" in our Chinese dialect is actually a polite word.
However, gifts given by Japanese should not be expensive, so as not to cause psychological pressure to the other party. Just choose some simple gifts that are not very practical, so that they can also transfer them to others.
Remember not to give shoes and socks. In the eyes of the Japanese, this is what the other party wants to step on himself under his feet. Giving tea is even more taboo, and tea is only given at Japanese funerals.
After learning about so many customs and etiquettes, my life in Japan is indeed more relaxed.
(In June 2021, Zhisha and I were in Atami)
I graduated from graduate school in 2020. I originally planned to return to China, but I was in the process of Japanese university graduation season in the inauguration season. So with the mentality of trying it out, I submitted my resume to 10 companies, but I didn't expect to receive an offer from 3 companies at once.
Chinese classmates who applied for the job at the same time were disappointed, which made me start to rethink and plan my future. Considering that the domestic workplace competition is quite high now, there may not be such a good opportunity to return to China, so after discussing with my parents, I chose the AEON Group, which is quite famous in Japan.
I am responsible for corporate strategy, board of directors operations, department planning, and business contacts with China at the company headquarters. Because the business responsible is more important, the company provided me with a considerable annual salary and an apartment.
Maybe in the eyes of others, I have always been smooth sailing, but after all, I am far away from a foreign country, and although most Japanese are still relatively friendly, there are still some Japanese who are xenophobic. In this situation, there will inevitably be loneliness and emotions that come to your heart all the time.
(I and Zhisha are in Yokohama)
In order to drive away the feeling of loneliness, I began to try to make friends on social software. In January 2021, I met a Japanese girl named Zhisha. The magical thing is that we were very speculative when we chatted for the first time.
Next, if we don’t talk a few words every day, we will feel that something is missing in our lives. We met on February 5th.
The uneasiness before meeting her disappeared as soon as she saw her. In the past, when I watched " Dream of Red Mansions , Jia Baoyu , the first sentence when I saw Lin Daiyu was: "I have seen this sister before." I was still laughing silently, thinking that the so-called "stop seeing it" was just a plot in literary works.
Now I finally believe that I will feel this way in reality. I felt very friendly when I saw Zhisha at the first sight. She is 1.71 meters tall and stands out among the Japanese girls with a generally petite figure. Her long black hair is spread softly on her shoulders like a waterfall.
The most distinctive thing about her is that the little tiger teeth she showed when she smiled, which adds indescribable playfulness and cuteness to her.
(I and Zhisha are in Tokyo Disneyland)
I naturally stepped forward and grabbed her hand. She did not resist, and let me hold her hand obediently. We went to the restaurant for a meal, had coffee, took a walk in the beach park, and finally took a Ferris wheel. We talk freely and don't look like a boyfriend and girlfriend who we first met.
"I met you for the first time, just like an old friend returning home", which probably describes this feeling.
As the relationship deepens, I am more fascinated by Zhisha’s unique characteristics. She has both the gentleness and consideration of traditional girls and the independent and motivated modern girls.
Because she is tall and not the kind of bird-dependent style, when we walk together, we are often considered a sister-brother relationship, but in fact she is 5 years younger than me. She just smiled heartily for such a misunderstanding.
This is my treasure girl, traditional and modern, gentle and generous. Even the air is sweet when you are with her.
(I and Shisa and I are at Kana Sagami Lake)
both say, "If you want to conquer a man's heart, you must conquer his stomach first", and the same goes for the other way around. I remember that after we met Zhisha for the first time, I did not make any special statement. I just simply arranged the room and carefully prepared a table full of Chinese food for her, which moved her to tears.
"Ugly daughter-in-law always wants to see her parents-in-law", how can the ugly son-in-law escape to see her parents-in-law? After dating Zhisha for more than a month, I was invited to see her parents.
The tension at that time was even more serious than the first time Zhisha. After all, the chance of such a transnational love being supported by both parents is too small. Two days before the meeting, Zhisha asked me to accompany me to choose gifts for the two elders. On the day I met, I got up early and tried on clothes in front of the mirror, practicing expressions and the "lines" I wanted to say when I met.
But after meeting, my parents-in-law's kindness and easy-goingness were completely beyond my expectations, and my nervousness gradually eased.
Their family is very interested in Chinese culture, so we have a lot of topics. Japanese people respect other people's privacy very much, so they will not ask you some embarrassing questions like Chinese parents like checking their household registration.
(Zhisha and I are dressed cute, we are as happy as children)
The first time I met my parents-in-law, it ended in a pleasant atmosphere.
Soon I also announced my relationship with Zhisha with my parents, and they were also satisfied with Zhisha. No matter how sweet love is, it is not perfect if you don’t have the support of your parents, so I am really lucky to think about it.
Since then, I often go to their house on weekends and cook Chinese food for them myself. They praise Chinese food, especially hot pot, which they never get tired of.The family is sitting idle, the lights are so nice, and in the room where the food is fragrant, there is a warm and harmonious atmosphere.
This is the family atmosphere I longed for when I was a child.
The first year we met, the Zhisha family invited me to their house for the New Year. The New Year in Japan is January 1, just like the Spring Festival in China, full of ritual.
They will place pine trees in front of the door during the Chinese New Year - a decoration made of pine branches and bamboo . The Japanese believe that with this Mensong, the God of Nian will come to your home to bless the family with health and safety in the coming year and have no worries about food and clothing.
(Walking into Yamagata Ginyama Hot Spring, it seems like you have entered a snow kingdom)
In addition, they will also hang bets on the door . This is basically the same as our saying of the door god during the New Year, thinking that this will block all kinds of monsters and monsters outside the door.
December 31 is the big day of in Japan, which is New Year's Eve. Their New Year's Eve dinner is not like ours, just a simple soba noodles . The soba noodles are thin and long, symbolizing "longevity". In addition, the soba noodles also have the meaning of "accompaniment" in Japanese. Therefore, eating soba noodles in Japan on New Year's Eve symbolizes longevity and luck.
Studying such a ritual year with their family in Japan, it aroused my longing for home and also gave me a sense of belonging to home in a foreign country.
(I and Zhisha are on vacation at Yinshan Hot Spring)
February 5 this year is the first anniversary of my love relationship with Zhisha. We went to Yinshan Hot Spring in Japan for vacation.
Yinshan Hot Spring is built on the former site of a silver mine, so it is named "Yinshan". The buildings here are simple and elegant, surrounded by primitive pastoral scenery. Especially at night, gas lamps emit a confusing soft light, making people feel as if they have entered a fairy tale world.
is far away from the hustle and bustle of the world. We speak freely and look forward to planning our future together. A happy tomorrow is like a colorful balloon hanging in front of us, colorful and brilliant, within reach.
In Japan, there is no such thing as a bride price, and there is no high demand for the house.
We plan to buy a house in Tokyo in the future, so that we don’t have to be big, just live comfortably, so that we will have a home in China and Japan in the future. If we have the opportunity, we will start a business together.
Now Zhisha is studying Chinese hard and preparing for future life in China.
(I was on Miyako Island in Okinawa in July this year)
This is the story of me and Zhisha. The plot is not very exciting, and the ending is no longer suspense. Compared with those stories with ups and downs, it is too dull.
But I am ordinary and I am very satisfied to find a good marriage in a foreign country. I don’t admire glory, I just wish the years are stable and the time is warm. My treasure girl and I will spend our whole life together, counting the passing years.
[Oral: Jiajun]
[Editor: Freedom]
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