China Youth Network Beijing, April 25th (Reporter Li Huaxi) In a relationship, there are all kinds of variables. It is very likely that in the early stages of a relationship, it can be foreseen that this relationship has no result. So, do you still need to continue to have a love without results? Some people think that it is necessary to talk about it. Even if you know it may not necessarily have satisfactory results, you should not leave any regrets when recalling it in the future; some people think that you should give up and have to talk about love without results, which is a waste of time.
Recently, the China Youth Online Campus News Agency conducted a questionnaire survey on the topic of "Whether to talk about love without results" on the topic of "Whether to talk about love without results?" The results showed that 394 college students chose to choose needs, accounting for 57%; 292 college students chose not to choose needs, accounting for 43%.
to talk, don’t leave regrets for the future
Shaanxi college student Lan Mei believes that love without results also needs to be talked about. She said that nothing can be seen from the beginning, and all love needs to be managed. If you still have no results after you are careful in your business, you will not leave any regrets because you have not tried hard to win, and put an end to the feelings you have worked hard in your business. This is also a result.
Liaoning college student Zhu Wen also chose to talk about it. He said that love is a manifestation of inner youth, and many of the ideas and practices of youth are immature. People should do what stage they are at, and they can do something that belongs to youth when they are young.
He said that even if you know that there may not be a perfect result in the future, and even if you know that your current thoughts will be immature, this is the trace of youth. If you don’t do it now, you will leave regrets in the future. "I chose to talk to you, in order to remember my youth in the future, and I won't feel very regretful at that time."
not talking, no result is a waste of time
Hebei college student Liu Kun believes that having to talk to love without result is a waste of time. "Most love without result is unenjoyed and sad."
Jiangxi college student Hu Lili also believes that love without result does not need to be discussed. She said that love is very pure. Some girls may enjoy the process of love and like the consideration and romance of boys during love. "But my ideal love is that a boy and I can go through many years."
Hu Lili believes that the love process may be very beautiful, but she wants to feel the dullness and triviality of the two people being together after love. "I prefer to try love with results. Girls may be more delicate and prefer the feeling of love."
Expert: It is best for love to have results. Without results, you can create results, but you cannot force
. Do you still need to talk about love without results? Guilin University of Technology psychology teacher, national second-level psychological counselor , registered psychologist Tan Yongmei believes that first of all, you need to be clear about what is a love without result. In a common sense, the ultimate goal of having a result is marriage. A love without result can be understood as knowing that you will not get married when you fall in love with the other person, but you just like this person and you want to be with the other person. Typically, it is a one-sided relationship, an obstructed relationship, a love that is easy to fall in love with, etc. "After all, love without results is nothing more than the following: you can't get what you want, you can't love, and you can't get rid of it."
She said that it is best for love to have a result, but there may also be variables after marriage. Marriage is not the only result of love, and many loves cannot be reached by the palace of marriage. In fact, life is full of love without results. Assuming that love without results cannot be discussed, most loves need not be discussed. "However, everyone will pursue love and taste the sweetness and bitterness of love."
"Love is a high-level emotion, with autonomy, strength and exclusivity, which determines that it is difficult to control it rationally." Tan Yongmei said that under the control of strong emotions, people in love usually have a narrow vision and can only see the needs of the moment, only identify the choices of the moment, and it is difficult to see the long-term possibilities. This is the limitation of love and the charm of love.There is no fixed form of love. If you have to fall in love after ensuring that everything is foolproof, there will not be so many touching love stories in this world.
She believes that any relationship is dynamically changing and there is no unchanging relationship. There is no result now, which does not mean that there will be no future; if the current conditions are not met, it does not mean that there will be no future. There are no conditions to create conditions, and there are no results to create results.
Tan Yongmei said that the test of love quality is whether each other has made sincere efforts and has devoted himself to it. Even if we were not together in the end, we would not regret each other because we loved each other, worked hard and tried our best, and we all contributed our best selves. During this journey, we nourish each other and achieve each other, because of this relationship, we both become better selves. Personality has been grown and improved, emotions have been improved and improved, and we know how to get along well, and we know how to love and be loved. The whole person's realm has been sublimated and he is full of gratitude for this experience.
"In this way, even if you are separated in the end, you will not leave any regrets. This is the most beautiful and richest experience in life. The experience of love is more important than the result of love. Just as life is an experience, love is also an experience. We will not give up on life because of death, nor will we give up on love because there may be no results."
Tan Yongmei suggested that we must not give up on efforts because of presuppose a hopeless result. Seeing the difficulties, we begin to be timid and not confident, and with the mentality of breaking up, and no longer managing love, and we will really separate in the end. This is actually the result caused by subjective giving up, it is irresponsible for love, and an excuse for one's own inaction.
"Of course, creating conditions and creating results do not mean forcing." Tan Yongmei said that she has confirmed that there is no result, but she still wants one result and endless entanglement. This is no longer a love that follows the original heart, but this is an obsession and delusion. "Behind the stubbornness is not love, but unwillingness. Love also requires knowing how to choose and trade, which is a kind of wisdom. Be brave to love when you love, and be brave to let go when you have no result. This is the best gift to each other." (At the request of the interviewee, Lan Mei, Zhu Wen, Liu Kun, and Hu Lili in the article are pseudonyms)
