Seeing the message in the junior high school group, Zhang Shuyue (pseudonym) couldn't sit still.
Wu Lixiang (pseudonym), the class teacher at that time and now the vice principal, is about to be transferred, and he calls on former students to help forward the publicity in the group. This dragged Zhang Shuyue into that dark memory - 14 years ago, the head teacher beat a boy and harassed a girl. At that time, he attended Dongchen International School in Mianyang, Sichuan.
In the early morning of April 17, Zhang Shuyue posted a message on Weibo account @Midnight's Totoro Radio, but unexpectedly there were even greater ripples. The 2009 student and blogger of Dongchen International School, Zhou Beilei Manon, forwarded the Weibo post and reported Wu Lixiang's sexual harassment under his real name. They received many private messages from the victims. After that, Wu Lixiang was suspended from his school and detained by the police.
Blogger @ Zhou Beilei Manon's report.
The popularity has faded. Zhang Shuyue said that these victims can also retreat from the display window to think about the ultimate goal that can be achieved by this matter. He emphasized on Weibo that the harm he suffered is nothing compared to girls.
Zhang Shuyue’s Weibo records many discussions on gender issues and concerns about women’s rights. He wants to say, “The most important thing is to respect a person’s real pain.”
This is a story about a boy who once saw when he grew up, and it is also a spiritual history of a young man who constantly breaks misogynistic thoughts and rebuilds himself.
The following is his self-report:
[1]
chose to say this because that afternoon Wu Lixiang sent a notice in the group of our junior high school classmates that he was going to be the principal of a new school, hoping that we would help forward it, "Help him like he helped us back then." The students replied "Okay!", "Thank you Teacher Wu", and gave him a thumbs up, as if nothing had happened.
At 8 o'clock in the evening, a good friend of a girl I was familiar with called me. When she saw Wu Lixiang's message, she thought that there would be students who would suffer in the future, she cried for an afternoon. I know she was one of the girls who were sexually harassed back to the dormitory after evening study. We chatted on the way, and she said that Teacher Wu was frivolous and touched some sensitive parts of her. She didn't say many details, and she sounded irritable, angry, and helpless. I listened silently next to me. In fact, I had heard that Teacher Wu was particularly caring for and favoring some girls, but I didn’t know that this difference was mixed with more private goods.
For so many years, it was still difficult for her to recover, and I realized that she was still immersed in that memory. The anger was stacked layer by layer. I couldn't help it anymore. I sent Wu Lixiang in the group and sent a long list of words, saying, "What did you help me? Is it sexual harassment, punching or personality insult?"
Zhang Shuyue (pseudonym) sent a message in the WeChat classmate group.
After I said that, I quit the group and posted on WeChat Moments and Weibo. This is the first time I have publicly talked about this memory.
Wu Lixiang is my class teacher and math teacher in junior high school for three years. He will hit you because of a very small thing, maybe he didn't hand in his homework or did not do well in the exam. The way he hits is to slap you, kick you, etc.
There is something terrible about the first day of junior high school. One day he said he was going to have a meeting, so he asked the class monitor to take us to study on his own. There is a cat's eye for the security door at the back of our classroom, but the cat's eye is removed, and it is actually a hollow hole. get out of class was about to end, Wu Lixiang suddenly came in. He walked to the male classmate who had spoken during the evening study, slapped the face first, then grabbed the collar, pulled them to the corridor, and continued to slap them one by one.
I sat on the stool, listening to the sound of slapping in the face, and didn't dare to move, as if it was a white horror - in fact, he kept watching our performance through the hole in that class.
For me, there was no dignity in those three years. I was worried all day long, just afraid that he would catch something from you. When the class director speaks or holds a class meeting, he often says that he is the person who treats you the best, your parents don’t know you so well, and they don’t spend that long with you.
was beaten at first. I told my parents that they sued the school leader, but they still did not change the class teacher.Wu Lixiang also told me in class, "You will complain, but you are amazing, right?"
Later, Wu Lixiang ignored me. His greatest violence towards me was this indifference. My grades were actually pretty good and I was not very naughty, but he ignored it no matter whether I did well or not.
Junior high school is counting the days by counting their fingers. I went to and from get out of class alone, ate alone, did homework alone, had no friends, and didn't talk much. Students can actually feel this atmosphere when a person targeted by the teacher with silence. The impact on me later was that I always felt that I was very transparent. Even if I have achieved my work achievements now, I still feel that I am still a child and is not worthy of being praised or seen.
Speaking of which, that painful and dark period seems to be far away from me. After leaving junior high school, I went to other cities to study in high school, study in college, graduate school, and work. I have not been in Mianyang for so many years. I regard it as a stain and slowly tried to forget it. But I can still feel the helplessness of being in a huge dark room with no one around. When
was making a sound, I was very calm, and I am actually very calm until now. Unexpectedly, Classmate Zhou would forward my Weibo and she would stand up. More victims stood up, and they became a hot search again, fermenting again. There are more than 40 victims who are willing to testify. I did a table statistics and I can see that there are all those who graduated from 2003 to 2018.
I have received a lot of private messages, those girls, they are braver than me. Because in today's concept, (sexual harassment) is still a matter of being less to say. Telling out the matter of being less to say means that they are under greater pressure and should respect their pain and feelings.
There is a girl I was particularly impressed by. She is a classmate in our class. After graduation, she was admitted to a first-class university and had a good job. However, she reported her real name that she had been sexually harassed, which I never thought of.
She left me a message and sent me a voice message to classmate Zhou to tell her experience. I was very worried when I heard it. It seemed that the needle was pierced into the skin. It was the classmate around me who had grown up together. When she said
, she seemed to be underestimating it. Now when talking about this, everyone is a survivor and there will be less emotional fluctuations. They often say "disgusting", many of them mention "helpless", "at a loss", "I don't know what to do", "I thought this was a normal thing", and they would constantly convince themselves to rationalize this matter at that time. Just like Lin Yihan wrote in "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise", looking for an outlet, she couldn't explain why she was treated like this by the teacher when she was so young, and could only tell herself that it was a form of love for me by the teacher, but she still felt that this love made her very uneasy, and it was a coercive love. It was not until the end that she saw other victims that she collapsed.
I don’t know what long-term impact this incident has had on them. I can only say what I saw later, because Wu Lixiang always asks girls to do push-ups and squats to take the opportunity to peek. They gradually developed a habit that if they have to bury their heads and squat down, they will cover their collar tightly.
[2]
When I was in school, I was not beaten seriously, and most of the time I was a bystander. Wu Lixiang's attitude towards boys and girls is obviously different. He beats boys violently and harasses girls.
In the teacher or office, you can see him hugging the girl, letting the girl sit on his lap, or holding her, and getting close to her. At that time, I didn't dare to say it out loud, but I just felt that the teacher was not honest, something was wrong, and I didn't understand what he was doing.
Once in the corridor, he talked to a girl, patted the other person's butt and touched the waist. The girl dodged a little, and her expression was still a joke, but she would deliberately keep a little distance. I just passed by, and the idea was that it had nothing to do with me, and I didn't have any relationship.
Because I have witnessed these, I can't allow myself to be an innocent spectator.
Some whistleblowers' statements
I think women, as a community of shared future, can directly empathize with the malice encountered in society.When you see other girls being harassed, peeped, or encounter pornographic, exposure, etc., you will also think of a similar situation in your life, and immediately bring it to that memory.
. The man is in a vague state. He has never been exposed to such a thing. The sense of connection between women is apart for them. How can I empathize? I think it takes a long time to accumulate and re-educate to realize that some things are "incorrect".
When I went to college, I came across a course called Culture Study, and it seemed that the world opened a new door. This course talks about modernism, postmodernism, structuralism, feminism, Orientalism, colonialism... The first time I learned that feminism actually talks about gender equality, and women are the second sex.
Our school also emphasizes Critical Thinking (critical thinking), and we need to see different aspects of things, which have had a profound impact on me.
In recent years, the concept of sexual harassment has also been popularized. In the past two years, many victims talked about their experiences on social networks. I will gradually realize that the scenes I saw in junior high school are actually part of sexual harassment. It took a long time to digest and straighten this matter itself is a harm, which will bring great impact and trauma.
Many men have difficulty empathizing with each other. What they empathize with is the final harm and result of the incident. They are not very clear about how much impact sexual harassment and assault have on women. As the incident becomes more and more intense, it threatens some men with high power, but they empathize with this part of the people who may be going to prison.
In this incident, a boy came to me to talk to me and thought it had a great impact on Wu Lixiang. "He already knew he was wrong. Let him go over the past. The teacher is kind to us. Do you want to force him to death?"
There are still a large number of boys who are silent because he neither empathizes with women nor with his own kind. He is very numb and confused.
I have also experienced a stage where I don’t understand and have no empathy for women’s experiences. When I was in school, I felt that girls were so annoyed. Girls didn’t have to go to the playground for menstruation. At that time, I wondered whether it was true or false? Are you unwilling to run? Is it really that uncomfortable? How could he be so delicate?
After falling in love, I learned more about the needs of girls. My girlfriend had menstruation. She said it didn’t hurt at all, but once I felt so painful that I would keep correcting a lot of knowledge.
Our family belongs to a very traditional family division of labor. My parents are both doctors, my father is the main focus of career, and my mother has stopped working very early, and she is at home and is in a semi-retired state. When my mother came back from a party with her peers, she wanted to compare and say that if she worked hard for her career, she might be as successful as them. But she also said that family harmony is also an achievement.
I didn't understand it before, and I thought she kept muttering. Later, I realized that taking care of my family and career is a double expectation and pressure for women. The options seem to be relaxed, but not everyone can choose these options equally and without worries?
From another perspective, how she decides based on her situation. I also asked her, do you think you are a victim of this culture or system? She was silent for a while, and I remember her answer was that she felt it was not.
I have a girl friend who still couldn't understand her in the past two years. She never went out again when it was dark, and she had to accompany her when she went out. One day, several of her roommates moved. After she opened the door, the whole room was empty and black. She squatted in the corridor and cried, sending me a text message saying that she was so scared.
I replied at that time, what are you crying? I feel really overthinking. She said she was afraid that there would be a bad person inside. What if someone she didn't know hid and encountered danger after entering the door?
But now I understand that it is not enough to just realize that something is wrong.
Previously, in response to Bao Yuming's suspected sexual assault on his adopted daughter, my good friend and blogger Liu Dake posted a Weibo post saying, "Rape, saying that it's just a painful sexual intercourse.""I heard this statement and my mind was very big. What he wanted to express was that we should not stigmatize sexuality and victims, but rape is not just sexual, but a larger part is violence against the victims, which cannot undermine the seriousness of the matter. I know that he expressed his views from the perspective of gender equality, but he lacked the ability to empathize with another gender group and another person.
I myself would feel ashamed. For example, the girl friend who hid in the corridor crying. Looking back now, I didn't do well enough at that time. Even if such pain seems insignificant to you, her reaction is real, and this real pain should be respected.
A classmate who was victimized this time left me a message, and I didn't reply when I asked again I can understand whether to stand or not, which is also a kind of respect.
[3]
Now the number of girls who are willing to prove that Wu Lixiang is far more than boys. About 1/3 are boys and 2/3 are girls.
I was quite surprised. What I learned is that every boy in our class has been violently beaten.
Maybe some people don’t think this is a problem. Boys are not allowed to express their pain and emotions. Society expects a man to work harder and more active, so why do you still remember the past?
When I went home on May Day, I talked to my dad about Wu Lixiang, and he said that I had no weight when I stood up. The boy was beaten. "What's the big deal?" , this is for your own good, and it has not caused any harm. In the hearts of many teachers and parents, the boundaries of corporal punishment for students are very blurred and ambiguous. As long as this person is not beaten to death or disabled, it seems that they are all within a reasonable range.
I was very angry and directly retorted. "Boys can be tolerated when being beaten, but girls cannot be tolerated when being sexually harassed." This is a typical patriarchal system thinking concept. Because women are objectified, women should be left alone, just a jade girl. She is touched and is defiled. Whether in a competition place for marriage or career, her value will depreciate.
At that time, when I was insulted and beaten, I would not cry, but just endure it. Another time in the third year of junior high school, I separated after dinner with three classmates, and I went downstairs and went in. A bookstore, and then went to the bathroom. A boy who was having dinner came over and asked me to come out quickly because Teacher Wu was waiting for us outside. I was very confused. After I went out, Wu Lixiang said, "Why did you go out when you go downstairs and see me running? You just want to do bad things. I said, "If you believe it or not, I will hit you, so he slapped me and kicked me again."
I don't want to say it anymore. It seems that it won't be solved after all. I became very weak. My parents didn't know about this afterwards.
They taught me a very traditional gender education. Boys should be responsible, brave, upright, and have the appearance of a man, and girls should be like a girl. When I was three or five years old, my mother often asked me to climb trees in the park. She felt that boys should be able to climb trees. I remember it vividly now. The peach tree is so small, but I really don’t dare. I have a lot of pressure every day. I have to climb the tree again today. My God.
She will say that she will take you to eat delicious food in a while, and she will say that if you don’t crawl, I will hit you. If you want to cry, she will say, don’t cry.
sent me to Dongchen International School, partly to train me. It was a boarding school, and she hoped that I would have a certain ability to take care of myself, learn to fold clothes, run on the playground, etc.
Japanese scholar Chizuko Ueno said that no one was not trained in a misogynistic society. The process of breaking the reconstruction is very long.
I once thought that it would be better for girls to marry, but boys’ life is so hard. They have to support their families, buy houses, hold weddings, and raise children. Women only need to clean up at home, raise their children, and be a good wife.
When I go out with my classmates to play and organize things, or run and attend physical education classes, they move slowly, and I will say "Don't be shy" and say casually, "Like a girl."” There was a time when Li Yuchun was very popular. Many girls liked it. I don’t like neutral dressing. I don’t understand what’s attractive? In the college course, our teacher put a picture on PPT, which is the symbol of the men’s and women’s bathroom. Usually, when you see a skirt, you will think it’s a girl. But who will determine this symbol? The teacher asked.
My head was buzzing, wow, I suddenly realized. Physiological gender is innate, but psychological and social Gender is given by a natural innate nature, which is actually a kind of identity and norm given to you by society. I have read some books, and as the gender awareness and equality view becomes more and more profound, I will question what I did before.
This time I posted on Wu Lixiang’s Weibo, and a classmate in the comment attacked me. He was a girl. She asked, asking me to do push-ups while squatting, asking if my pants were tight, and touching my hand and patting my head was sexually harassing? "You are all so precious. "Even when facing the unfair treatment of the same gender, she imagined it from the perspective of a boy. This is misogyny, and she thinks that women's feelings are not important.
I think the opposite of women should never be men, but patriarchal (patriarchal) society. In the patriarchal society, the weak are the ones suffering, and most of the weak are now women, but there are also men who are weak, such as boys who are sexually harassed.
[IV]
[IV]
On May Day, the Fucheng District Public Security Bureau (Mianyang) issued a notice that Wu Lixiang was suspected of criminal crime and had been detained. One hour before the release, the Public Security Bureau called me and said that I would like to thank me for my cooperation in the investigation and for my voice. I was very excited and excited at the time, and felt a long-lost release. .
Many of the victimized students have never met, and they are still netizens. Now they have returned to their normal life and are waiting for the next step of the police.
Police Prosecution Information
She is an ordinary mother. It may be a little better that she supports you to stand up, but she hopes you don’t stand at the forefront. She is very uneasy when she goes to any step in the future.
I persuaded her from 12 o’clock to 3 o’clock in the morning to comfort and ease her emotions and tell her that some worries do not exist. I said, we are not the one who did the wrong thing. Wu Lixiang has been in this position for 15 years. Do I still want to continue to remain silent?
I think I am a combination of words and deeds One person, my attitude is to speak out for those who are treated unfairly. I have published many articles on Weibo about Dr. Li Wenliang and Room N. As for this incident, I also asked myself, would I dare not do it? This is unreasonable.
If I really have any spiritual role model, I would think of the books I have read. I thought of the group of Chinese literati who had been treated in the New Culture Movement after the May Fourth Movement in 1919, whether it was Hu Shi, Qian Zhongshu, Fu Lei, they were all in sight. They did not tell lies, and no matter what distortions and blows they were suffered, they would not compromise and continue their lives in a miserable manner.
They inspired me, and I would think, what kind of person do I want to be?
I still I am not mature, and I am constantly improving my ideological system. Is my physiological gender a man, and I still receive a lot of natural preferential treatment from patriarchal society.
My first job was in a well-known international accounting firm. The workplace system is very rigid. It is very popular among boys and it is easier to be seen. Because there are fewer boys, and then there are concerns about getting pregnant and taking care of the family. It is a customary internal logic.
I worked on a project with a female colleague and finally went to report. The girl only listened to the following. The person who reported was me, and the girl's work results seemed to have been stolen. She complained to me, why is it, it's unfair, and I said, "Please invite you to dinner."
I didn't directly point out that this matter was not good at that time. As a vested interest in the patriarchal system, I don’t seem to have reason to overturn the mechanisms and rules of social operation. I was very young at that time and just graduated, and I valued every opportunity very much. If it were now, I would definitely say I would participate together.
On the issue of gender, my friends around me have inappropriate comments. When I can tolerate it, I will remain silent. When I can't, I will directly confront it.Sometimes I recommend male friends to read some books and movies from female perspectives. In addition to gender opposition, I think there are more possibilities for reconciliation.
I also have ambitions and ambitions now, but I can tell whether this is a discipline in society or what I want.
After talking about Wu Lixiang on Weibo, there was also a girl from our school who was not in her private message, telling me about her experience of being sexually harassed. A girl was touched by her teacher in junior high school, but she is still afraid of boys' touch. I feel it is difficult to use words to help her resolve such trauma. It is very difficult to help her open the knots of her heart as a boy.
Apart from speaking, I will find that there are many things that I can't do at all. They may need professional psychological counseling and follow-up by professional legal professionals. They found me, but I couldn't help, and I was helpless.
Many people regard me as a girl (laughs), and left private messages, "Sister is so brave, sister is so great." I replied that I am a man, and my inertial thinking seems that the gender issue can only be spoken by girls.
The meaning of the four words "Sister is here" is that I am a victim, and I speak for myself to denounce the people who have caused harm to me. I am now standing next to my sister as someone I have witnessed. Actually, I want to downplay the gender, just stand up and say the truth. Rather than saying that I am a feminist, it is better to say that what I value is human rights. How can we make them more equal and respected by the oppressed group of people?
"May Day" returned to Mianyang to record his confession. After getting off the plane, I went to school first. I haven't been back for almost 15 years. There was originally a hill opposite the teaching building. There were peach blossoms and pear blossoms in spring and farmers were farming. Now it has become an office building, and the roads entering the campus have also changed, and things have changed.
I didn’t walk in, so I took a photo from the inscription of the school name at the door and posted on Weibo, “I’m back.” School has resumed. I want to say that it is not only my sister who will come, but my brother who will come too.
Zhang Shuyue returned to school to take a photo.
