2-year-old Ea Ya Hsiao announced her love breakup. Although this is not unexpected, it makes people feel regretful. Netizens joked: Elva Hsiao’s boyfriend really cannot be older than 25 years old.
She has changed 16 boyfriends in 2019. At the "Tucao Conference", Elva Hsiao once joked that she is an ordinary little genius in love and never takes men over 25 seriously.
Everyone envies her for being able to love easily, freely and relaxed in love. But she didn't realize that her happiness was actually very hydrated. On the road of love, she kept going around and pursuing her crazy, but she always ended in vain.
Frequently changing her boyfriend shows that she does not have the ability to manage a relationship for a long time.
In the previous variety show " The Love of Daughters ", their performance not only made netizens not lose their candy, but they really worried about this sister-brother relationship.
Many netizens even predicted that they will break up sooner or later. In the program
, during the couple's Q&A session, the program team asked each other to write their birthday, blood type, height, and shoe size. Elva Hsiao could write it out soon, but her boyfriend Huang Hao could only write a few.
In order to find a way for yourself, he said cleverly: Girls’ height and weight must be kept confidential;
The relationship that has been dating for 3 years, can’t even remember the basic information of girls? It does give people a feeling of not being very down-to-earth.
But Elva Hsiao knows her boyfriend very well, which shows that in this relationship, she is giving very seriously, caring about the other party, and treating the relationship with her heart, but unfortunately her efforts have not received equal rewards.
My boyfriend ordered takeaway. Elva Hsiao kept complaining that he didn't like to eat. At the same time, he turned on the chanting mode to remind his boyfriend not to eat too quickly.
But Huang Hao kept silent as if he hadn't heard it. The anxious Elva Hsiao began to urge her boyfriend to turn on the air conditioner again. Her boyfriend was helpless and turned on the air conditioner. She felt too cold after turning on the air conditioner. She just repeated it over and over again. In the end, Huang Hao was already very collapsed.
From this we can see that Elva Hsiao really hopes that her partner cares about her, and she hopes that her partner will do things according to her preferences. At the same time, I also really hope that the other party will give you a certain "reply".
If the other party does not respond in time at this time, she will feel very anxious and doubt about love, and even feel that she will be abandoned and betrayed the next second.
So she won’t give the other party any time to remain silent and relieve, and will keep asking and complaining, forcing the other party to express her opinion, hoping that the other party will solve the problem by coaxing her and will not give the other party any chance to breathe.
I remember that I had read a report before, saying that Elva Hsiao arranged a dense tutoring class for Huang Hao, which caused Huang Hao to vomit blood and faint and go to the hospital for too much pressure.
Many people joked: It turns out that the boyfriend of a rich woman is not that easy to be.
But it can also be seen that Elva Hsiao has a strong desire to control his partner, just like his mother treats her son. I like to do things for the other person in the name of being good for the other person, and I don’t think about the other person’s feelings at all.
On the one hand, this is so immersed in the touch of self-paying, while on the other hand, the other party will feel very suffocating and not free enough, which can easily cause confrontation between the two parties and constantly consume their feelings.
She treated this relationship seriously but controlled. Huang Hao said in an interview:
Elva Hsiao is a very emotional little girl and needs to be coaxed all the time. As soon as the emotions rise, the other person even breathes wrongly. She always looks at the other person's face.
It can be seen that Elva Hsiao is a contradiction in front of Huang Hao. She is both powerful and fragile, and it seems that she does not look like a handsome lady in our eyes.
There are also some girls in their relationships who are worried about gains and losses, are sensitive and like to lose their temper.
They like to control their partner and have the persistence of a moth to the flames when dealing with love, but they are also afraid that they cannot catch love. We call such people "Anxiety-type attachment" , and The root of anxiety-type attachment lies in the lack of love in their native family.
In fact, Elva Hsiao's original family is not happy.
When she was over 1 year old, her father abandoned them and divorced her mother, while her mother was busy doing her career and had no time to take care of her life, so she fostered her at her grandmother's house.
did not receive complete love, so it planted a seed for her bumpy love path. What’s even more regrettable is that her mother died of illness in 2010, which undoubtedly caused a heavier blow to her already fragile heart.
Although the deceased mother left her a considerable property, she still could not make up for the love she lacked in her heart.
In "Daughters' Love", she said to Huang Hao: "You have a mother, you are so happy." She also burst into tears and expressed her heart that she only wants love.
She did not learn how to love correctly from her family. She regarded love as the most important thing in her life and would overwork in her relationships. She also believed from the subtle influence of her family that love someone is to give her maternal love.
Therefore, she will find a boyfriend who is much younger than herself, and she will also gain a sense of control from it while spoiling them.
However, when the relationship gradually becomes dull and the other party feels suppressed and begins to resist, she also loses control. The long-term emotional confrontation will only consume each other continuously, and in the end the relationship cannot continue.
True love is to allow the other person to show his true self more freely, rather than to make the other person feel stressed through control.
Fortunately, each of us will grow up. Growth gives us the power of life and the ability to learn. We can manage our feelings through acquired growth. For babies with anxiety-based attachment, I have the following suggestions:
Learn to give the other person space
Everyone has their own emotions, and they also need to be alone or silent to digest their negative energy. If you ask for emotional value from the other person unconditionally, the other person will only feel even more collapsed.
Try to understand the other party instead of asking for it all the time. Besides, you also hope that the other party can love you more. Your constant venting, accusing, criticizing, and complaining will only make things worse. You must learn to use the language of love to nourish love, praise and encourage the other party more, and give the other party more affirmative tone, so that the love between both parties will flow and the relationship will move in a positive direction.
Think from the perspective of others, you are unwilling to accept negative emotions from your partner every day, right? No one is willing to be your emotional trash can. Self-relieving is also a necessary ability for every adult.
Reconcile with your own emotions
In fact, anxious and attached babies are really bitter. They have not received healthy care and unconditional love from their parents since childhood, and their hearts are also very unstable.
Therefore, a lot of bad emotions are breeding. They have even tried hard to change themselves, but when they finally come, they are still like a flood.
But no one’s original family is perfect. You must be responsible for your life to learn to grow up yourself and learn to recognize your own emotions. When you realize that you are taking actions that hurt others because of your emotions, you decide to restrain yourself. This is the beginning of progress.
Slowly perceive yourself and learn to vent yourself through some channels, exercise, yoga, reading, etc., try to reconcile with your emotions first, and don’t let emotions hurt your feelings.
Try to learn to communicate effectively
You must always understand your partner’s inner needs. Only by truly understanding the other party can you adopt appropriate strategies to reshape your healthy relationship.
Many broken relationships are that they do not know how to understand the other party’s real needs, do not know how to express themselves healthily, and the two parties cannot find a suitable way to get along with each other often quarrel and finally separate.
If a positive and positive communication method can be established, both parties can actively heal each other, and togetherness is a positive development.
Finally, I hope that you, who are anxious and sensitive, can achieve true inner growth, establish a healthy and benign model of getting along, and obtain true happiness
