Last year's Berlin Film Festival was definitely the highlight of Chinese films: actors Wang Jingchun and Yongmei won the Best Actor and Actress Award for " Earthly Long and Long " directed by Wang Xiaoshuai .
But do you know that the actress's queen of Yongmei ("The World Long") was almost snatched by a ten-year-old girl - this girl is Helena Zengel, the actress who plays Benny, the heroine in the movie " System Destroyer ".
The ten-year-old heroine's acting skills are superb, showing a hysterical destruction maniac, her extremely fragile and scarred heart to the fullest, and she performed a bone-broken sense of pain. As soon as "System Breaker" was released, Rotten Tomatoes (foreign film review website) was as fresh as 94%. Later, it directly represented Germany's Oscar-Best International Film Festival, which was enough to prove the excellence of this film.
What special story can a ten-year-old girl have that attracts everyone's attention?
01
She is a child and a devil
9-year-old Benny, blonde and blue-eyed, and a sweet smile like ice cream. But in fact, she suffers from severe mental illness, irritability and mania. In addition, she is energetic, more powerful, extremely aggressive, and very dangerous.
At the beginning of the video, she was roaring like a beast, spitting at the teacher, and chasing a group of children alone, but no one could hold her back. The Buddha blocked and the man blocked and killed people.
I saw her swing the toy car and crack the glass with a few bangs. The anti-collision glass... It was made in Germany!
Any stimulation will make Benny explode. It’s quite gentle to scold her. She can take off her pants and pee at the teacher’s door in broad daylight. Do you dare to believe it?
4 things you want, grab them, grab them after snatching the classmate, grab the store.
hit people, and their faces bloomed with one palm.
The teacher asked her to go to school and was like a knife. What did you do? !
This is not a 9-year-old little loli. The whole devil's reincarnation was turned upside down by her and people were panicked.
teacher said: "I really hope I can lock the child up now."
Hahaha, how can a teacher tell such a big truth? She is forced to do it!
is nowhere to take in Benny due to her poor record, and she set a record of being rejected by 37 institutions. If this continues, she can only be sent to a nursing home in Africa.
At this moment, the agency hired a rage management coach for Benny, and just listening to this title is very professional.
His name is Mixia, he is tall and big, with a cold face. He looks like a cruel person, specializing in treating teenagers with all kinds of dissatisfaction. Under Misha's discipline, Benny did undergo a 180-degree reversal. What is the magical thing about Misha?
The success of Mixia is just two words - special.
Although "System Slayer" is a movie about special children, the character Misha is particularly worthy of careful study by parents, such as his professional skills and experience in communicating and interacting with his children, which is a must for parents.
02
identity special
Mixia also had a violent tendency during her teenage years, so he could understand Benny's feelings better than others.
When Benny was finally subdued and tied to the bed, other teachers felt the trouble was relieved, but Misha felt Benny's inner pain and fear. The same experience triggers a deeper feeling than sympathy.
After Benny was sedated, Misha kept looking at her outside the window and staring for a long time.
Everything in front of me must have evoked a sleeping memory of Misha. While he sympathized with Benny, he was also caring for himself. A need arises in his heart to soothe his past pain by healing Benny.
From this moment on, a wonderful connection occurred in the lives of Misha and Benny, which made Misha assume more responsibilities than a recuperator should bear.
So he invested more in Benny than anyone else. When the others saw Benny like a plague god, only he took the initiative to ask him to spend three weeks with Benny in the forest hut and healed one-on-one.
Comparing our real life, if the child does something wrong, parents know that solving problems requires sufficient communication. But this video gives us a very important inspiration - before communicating with children with , parents should communicate with their own hearts first.
When we want to educate our children, can we think first about whether we had fought, told lies, failed the exam, and were called parents... If so, ask ourselves what we felt at that time, what reasons, and how to solve it better.
has this process, so we can understand children better, and there will naturally be fewer conflicts and contradictions.
can even connect children's growth with potential inner problems, light up each other, nourish each other, and grow with children. The secret special feature of
makes education miracles.
03
especially knows how to communicate with
mi Xia's second special is that he can communicate with children and has a good set of things for children.
Their first meeting failed. Benny gave Misha two words: Get out! Mixia got out without saying a word.
The second time we met, Micha ignored Benny and he played with other children. Benny stopped doing it and asked Misha, "Why don't you play with me?"
Misha said, "Yes, if I win, you will go to school. Also, you can't use a knife anymore."
two times have completely different attitudes.
The one who asked Mixia to get out of it was Benny, and she was the one who took the initiative to ask for fun together. Mixia took the opportunity to make a request to her.
This Mixia really had a few tricks.
Aggressive children like Benny will be more lonely because classmates and teachers are afraid of her and no one is willing to play with her, so Benny needs someone to accompany her.
Mixia seized this point and asked Benny, who had originally rejected him, to take the initiative to lean on. After a board game, the two became friends.
Mixia has skills to play with. He would create some minor accidents, such as when Misha was trying to avoid it when she was slamming her feet, and Benny was amused to laugh out loud.
Then, Benny shook Misha's dot with his backhand, and the two of them laughed happily. This detail shows how naughty, smart and cute Benny is. Moreover, they are born with a tacit understanding.
A board game, Misha let Benny take advantage of his magical powers and go to school obediently. What did Mixiadu do?
First, find the child’s needs - play with them. Then, provide happiness in company, share happiness, and quickly gain Benny's favor, thus building an emotional connection with her and making her easy to discipline.
The most important need in childhood is attachment, and children will listen to whoever they are attached to. Misha plays with Benny and makes her happy, just to get close to her and give her a sweet and beautiful experience, that is, a sense of happiness, which is the source of attachment. Once attachment is developed, the purpose of discipline is halfway. (Of course, we must never use this to control our children)
So, The intimate relationship between parents and children determines whether the education is smooth. Therefore, we should first learn how to accompany our children, how to get along happily, and make our children fully attached to their parents.
However, the above is just the first step for Misha to succeed.
Next, he takes Benny to the forest hut, where they live together like father and daughter. Misha taught Benny to work with an axe, break up the abandoned shed, log wood, make swings, and make somersaults in the yard. There were also conflicts in the process of
, but after the storm, I became more trust and understanding.
One night, Benny opened his heart beside the blazing fire. This was the first time Misha taught Benny a few words carefully, it was really just a few words.
Benny asked him: Did you fight before?
Mixia: People will change.
Benny: But I can't do it, I always have to run away, so I can't go back to my mother.
Mixia: We can change.
In theory, Mi Xia should be moved by emotion and reason, and it is better to make more golden sentences. Why did he pass it off in just two sentences?
Think about it carefully, Misha actually did it very appropriately.
As soon as Benny came, she must have been talked a lot in the nursing home, and she had been annoyed by the truth.
Secondly, more importantly, from the question she asked - "Did you fight before?", you can be sure that Benny's heart has changed.
The role of education is to make people change, not only behavior, but also inner changes. Since the change has happened in Benny's heart, there is no need to say anything more, just give her confidence.
’s next conversation is more interesting.
Mixia said we can change. Benny said in a daze: That dog is very annoying!
Before, Benny was stimulated by a barking dog on the farm, and she was angry once. When Misha asked her to change and learn to control herself, she suddenly remembered the dog. I think it can't be done because the dog is too annoying.
Actually, she wanted to say, it's not my fault for this, who made that dog so annoying; to extend it, what she really means is: I'm irritable, beat people, and act recklessly, because others treat me badly, and they are so hateful.
Misha fully understands Benny's idea, but he just said: No, the dog is not annoying, it is just doing its duty.
see through and don’t say it out loud. This is the most clever thing about Misha.
He only told Benny that it’s not a dog, and that dogs are not rushing to you. Then who should blame him? Who is wrong? He didn't say it, and left it to Benny for his own taste.
does this, one is to save face for Benny, and the other is to let the child understand it himself. If you make your child feel that this is what he has figured out, it will be more effective than if we tell him a hundred times. There are so many things worth learning from for parents in
. Originally, I should have summarized it for everyone. I also learned from Mixia. Without saying enough, the truth I have summarized is deeper.
04
Become the most special person in the child's life
Misha's third point, he is the most special person in Benny's life:
In the eyes of others, Benny is a system destroyer, while Misha affectionately calls her "fighting ghost".
Others are not allowed to swear, but Misha asks her curiously: What are the swear words?
Benny didn't want to take medicine, but Misha actually said: You can take it outside the door to take it. He felt that Benny was normal and didn't need to take medicine.
When Benny went crazy, Misha hugged her tightly in her arms until she calmed down. Other tutors either locked her out the door or tied her up on the bed for sedation.
Benny made a mistake. Misha was really angry. He threw Benny away and left. But after not taking two steps, she was afraid that she would be frozen, so she turned around and helped Benny get his clothes ready and buckle her shoes.
Other remedial staff neither criticize nor get close to Benny, and maintain a professional distance that is neither far nor close. And Micha is like a father who loves and hates him deeply.
The most special thing is that when Misha severely criticized Benny, Benny did not yell or scream, followed behind Misha without saying a word, feeling sad and aggrieved, as well as a puppy.
Mixia is the only person who can make Benny take his defense, no longer clench his fists, and be ready to fight the world to the death at any time. Because he crossed the line of recuperator, crossed prejudice, and gave Benny a special love that only his parents could give.
And what Benny really needs is not sympathy, not care, but irreplaceable maternal love and fatherly love.
So when Misha has established a father-daughter relationship with Benny during three weeks of getting along, Benny is healed.
Seeing that Benny is only one step away from complete healing, this step is out of reach and difficult to overcome.
Benny, who was extremely eager to be loved, knew the taste of love just like a beast that tasted blood. After the treatment, Benny knocked herself to the head and bleeding in order to get Misha to take her home.
She said to Misha, if I kill your wife and children, can you be my dad?
No matter how much Mixia loves Benny, she dares not take risks with her family. He takes back his feelings, which has caused a devastating blow to Benny. She falls ill again and almost dies in the forest.
Finally, Benny was sent to Africa. Before boarding, she rushed through security checks and pushed down pedestrians, and the system saboteur Benny made a big fuss at the airport. She ran all the way, suddenly jumped, and the video stopped abruptly.
Obviously, this is the end of the system destroyers, they smash everything, destroy everything, and then destroy themselves.
Psychological problems seriously affect the growth of teenagers, and sometimes devastating, and the cure for mental illness has always been a difficult problem. Benny in the film is both a destroyer and a person who is destroyed. Her aggressiveness comes from her inner incompleteness.
As parents, they should always put their children's spiritual growth first. A good parent-child relationship, a long-term sense of security, and communication methods like Misha are always essential skills for parents who are bold in capital.
If one day you want to take the exam, it is recommended to write the above into the exam syllabus.
