A fight with someone before the exam, and the grades after the exam may be relatively unsatisfactory. Among the factors that affect children's learning, there is a very easy factor to be ignored - Emotional . Negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, anxiety, and depression often make people restless, confusing their minds, and unable to concentrate, which directly affects the child's learning effect. Therefore, learning to identify and manage emotions is the key to children's learning efficiency.
Expert file
Li Tingli: Mental health education teaching and research staff of Chongqing Institute of Education Science, national second-level psychological counselor, the first batch of "Chongqing Women and Children Psychological Counseling Service Team Member", Deputy Secretary-General of the Health Education Professional Committee of Chongqing Society of Education, participated in the psychological assistance hotline platform of the East China Normal University of Education, and was once rated as a backbone teacher of mental health education in Nan'an District.
Emotion affects children's behavior
Psychologists believe that emotions are the driving force of behavior, and their motivational function is completed by awakening the behavior of being experienced or imagined events. In other words, different emotions such as joy, anger, sorrow, and joy will prompt children to react differently. If a child feels happy in learning, his learning effect will be improved; on the contrary, negative emotions such as fear and pain will have negative effects - if a child is afraid of learning, or feels that learning is very hard, the learning effect will be greatly reduced. At the same time, in specific situations, moderate tension and anxiety can also encourage children to think and solve problems actively. When the child is highly nervous or overly excited, the effect of answering difficult questions is not good, but the efficiency of solving simple problems is higher; when the child is at a moderate level of excitement, it is suitable for solving problems with average difficulty; when encountering difficult problems, the child needs to be more calm than usual for the effect to be better.
Therefore, only by learning to recognize and manage their emotions can children adjust to the most appropriate emotional state when solving problems with different levels of difficulty and achieve the best learning effect.
Emotional management starts with identifying emotions
If you encounter something unpleasant, you will be very angry; if you see others being better than yourself, you will be jealous; if you encounter setbacks, you will want to give up; if you are under pressure, you will feel that you have no idea where to start and are particularly helpless. Children’s negative emotions are a signal of the child’s growth difficulties. If you cannot manage your emotions well in the teenage stage, the long-term negative emotions will cause your child to have psychological problems such as anxiety and depression. When encountering stressful events, children will have a big emotional outburst and make out-of-control actions. What's more, they will make big mistakes because they can't think about it.
Through the following cases, guide children to identify emotions such as anger, jealousy, anxiety, depression, etc., and learn methods and techniques for managing emotions.
case 1
boy has difficulty controlling his anger
junior high school boy Xiaohai is a famous "violent" member in the class. His classmates are unwilling to get close to him. Xiaohai has a more and more irritable temper and often throws things and curses. When he got angry, he consciously wanted to control his emotions, but he lacked a method, so he asked the teacher for help. After consultation, the psychology teacher learned that Xiaohai's parents divorced when he was in elementary school and lived with his mother. His mother had a hard life and often regarded Xiaohai as an "emotional trash can." When he was in the first year of junior high school, Xiaohai felt inferior and angry, and could not study hard, and his original average grades fell to the bottom of the class. The psychology teacher helps him find the fundamental reasons for his impulsive emotions and establishes relevant awareness through the "talk method" and "positive reinforcement method". Ask Xiaohai’s mother not to bring her negative impact to her children and give him more psychological care. Now, Xiaohai can look at problems rationally, live in peace with his classmates, and control some emotions when encountering setbacks.
Recognizes anger
Q: Why are people prone to being angry and impulsive? In the brain, the limbic system is related to emotions. The amygdala in the limbic system is called the "fear center", which is related to fear, anxiety, alertness, and aggressive behavior.When the external environment produces potentially threatening stimuli, the amygdala will be activated, creating corresponding emotions, helping people identify dangers in the environment. Anger itself is a very normal emotion. On the one hand, we must understand the psychological needs behind anger, and on the other hand, we must master methods to prevent anger from getting out of control.
Manage anger
◎Step 1: Pause thinking, take a deep breath, relax your brain, divert your attention, and recite the "mantra" silently. Think about what situations you are most likely to lose control of your emotions, and then tailor the emotional control "spell" to suit your situation.
◎Step 2: leaves the scene, stop contact, and let yourself quickly calm down through physical isolation.
◎Step 3: Write an emotional diary before going to bed. Draw your own emotional barometer based on the following emotional diary. (For details, please see the example chart 1)
Case 2
Love to compare turns out that it is caused by jealousy
Xiaoli is an outstanding student in a key middle school. When he was in the second year of junior high school, he suddenly had acne on his face, which caused him to have serious psychological imbalance and lose his enthusiasm for learning. After school started, he found that his classmates were updating their equipment, and Xiaoli also wanted to buy brand-name shoes. He said to his mother: "I must have what others have, too."
Xiaoli's mother was useless in persuading, so she had to ask the teacher to enlighten her. Through activities such as "Bombing Self-Effects" and other activities, the psychology teacher let Xiaoli deeply understand his own advantages, understand the importance of inner qualities, and establish correct values. Through warm communication activities, teachers improve parent-child relationships and communication models, and use the warmth of the family to make external pursuits less important. At the same time, let Xiaoli understand his future career positioning, as well as the psychological qualities, directions of action and methods he needs. If the goal is clear, things outside of the body will naturally not be that important. Through active behavioral intervention, Xiaoli made great progress in learning and made active preparations for the sprint for the high school entrance examination.
Identify jealousy
Q: Do you have the following mentality?
1. When you see other students dress better, have more toys, or have more friends than you, you will hit, mock, distant, and even resent.
2. What's so great about it? I have it at home, and my parents can buy it for me.
3. When other students succeed and are praised by teachers, they will feel uncomfortable and dissatisfied, and even feel hostile, slander, sarcastic, and rejection of the students they are praised.
4. If you see other people’s works better than yourself, you will maliciously destroy them.
5. Parents are not allowed to get close to or love other children, and good friends are not allowed to play with others.
Coping with jealousy
Jealousy is a very common emotion that can be found in both teenagers and adults. But if you are completely controlled by jealousy, it is easy to go to extremes, not only affecting interpersonal relationships, but also becoming psychologically distorted. Step out of the dilemma of jealousy and turn it from trouble to helping forward.
◎Step 1: View jealousy correctly and realize that when you are jealous of a person, there must be something you want in that person.
◎Step 2 : Acknowledge that you are jealous and try to tell your jealousy to those you trust.
◎Step 3: Change your mindset and try to appreciate and praise the people you are jealous.
case 3
anxiety and heavy schoolwork children have insomnia before school starts
Xiaoxiao is a sixth-grade student. In order to prepare for the junior high school, she started from the fifth grade and arranged the study schedule very tightly, and the study and life pressure is relatively high. As school was about to start, Xiaoxiao's summer homework had not been completed yet, her mother confiscated his mobile phone and laptop, urged her to do her homework every day, and at the same time she also reminded Xiaoxiao of the importance of her studies with her ears.As time goes by to study, Xiaoxiao suffers from insomnia every night, occasionally suffers from headaches and stomachache, and her hands tremble when doing homework. My mother took him to consult a psychologist, and after psychological tests, Xiaoxiao was moderately anxious.
Finally, Xiaoxiao received psychological counseling, and her mother also studied and changed her concept of family education. The psychology teacher told Xiaoxiao's mother to have reasonable expectations for her children, avoid blindly pursuing academic performance, not punishing her children at will, avoid the transmission of anxiety in her words and deeds, increase parent-child communication, relieve each other's pressure, and let the children naturally change from the holiday mode to the school start mode in a way that is acceptable to them.
Identify anxiety
Q: Do you feel stressed in the following situations?
1. Every day, there are various cram schools, interest classes, and competitions on weekends.
2. High expectations from parents and teachers.
3. When getting along with friends, there are some minor frictions and quarrels.
4. The performance in the exam and competition is not good enough.
5. Deficiency of sleep, physical loss, and various physical problems.
6. I think I am too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, not beautiful, and not handsome enough, and I feel that I am not smart enough.
Q: What will you do with excessive pressure?
1. Becomes impatient.
2. Be angry or want to cry for no reason.
3. Don't want to talk to people.
4. Inattention.
5. Physiological reactions such as insomnia, headaches, etc.
Coping with anxiety
No one can completely avoid stress. Moderate stress also helps concentrate, make your thinking more active, and help you achieve better results. Therefore, , the understanding of stress and the level of stress tolerance can effectively reduce anxiety.
Q: How to control pressure within a moderate range?
◎Method 1: Learn to perceive pressure through the pressure detection table.
◎Method 2: form an exclusive cheerleading team for yourself. Cheerleaders can be your good friend, your family, or even your favorite virtual image. In short, try to get spiritual encouragement.
◎Method 3: Learn to think positively, accumulate positive experiences, and draw strength from past successful experiences.
case 4
failed the exam message teacher ran away from home
Xiaowen is an excellent student in a key junior high school. He is introverted and hard-working in his studies and is deeply loved by the teacher. After failing the final exam, the teacher received a message that he had bid farewell to run away from home. With the teacher's timely communication, Xiaowen, who ran away from home, was found. Through consultation, the psychology teacher learned that Xiaowen felt sorry for his hard-working family because of failing the exam, and was in psychological conditions such as frustration, despair, depression, and depression. Xiaowen's parents are migrant workers, with a low level of education and a high pressure on their own work and survival. They often cannot understand Xiaowen's pressure and troubles, and cannot discover problems in time to enlighten him. One-sided hope that your child will succeed, and simply attribute the child's failure to not working hard enough. Through empathy listening, the teacher guides Xiaowen to release bad emotions, helps him to make correct attribution, discover his own highlights, formulate practical stage plans, and cultivate a sense of self-efficacy through timely positive feedback. Teachers guide parents to change their family education methods, communicate more with their children, and pay attention to their children's inner world. After long-term psychological counseling, Xiaowen's condition improved and she returned to normal life.
Identify negative emotions
Q: What are your symptoms when you encounter setbacks?
1. I dare not try it easily anymore.
2. Excessive depression and negativeness.
3. Self-denial will say to yourself, "I can't do it, I can't do it."
4. Become depressed and keep recalling the failed experience.
5. Escape from things that make you frustrated.
Respond to negative emotions
The more self-denial you are, the more likely you are to be learned helpless. In the long run, you will feel that the difficulties cannot be overcome and you will never dare to try to challenge them easily. Learn the following three tricks to improve your resistance to setbacks and face setbacks with confidence.
◎First trick: Let go of the failure in front of you and focus on the future.
◎Second trick: Go back to examine your past setbacks, count your own successful experiences, analyze the reasons for success and failure, and find the courage and strength to set off again.
◎The third move: lower expectations and customize phased action goals. You can ask students who are similar to your ability but have quickly improved their grades, or you can ask teachers for advice with your own papers and homework books. The more specific, the more effective it is.
Only when children learn to recognize and manage their emotions can they adjust to a more appropriate emotional state when solving problems with different levels of difficulty and achieve better learning results.
This article is selected from the 1067-1068 issue of "New Parents News"
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