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text | Tiancao
Kindness is actually very simple, starting with not revealing the shortcomings.
In a reality show a few days ago, Olympic champion Chen Yibing unexpectedly mentioned the details of his dating with his ex-girlfriend He Wenna.
's words were full of jokes, which undoubtedly caused harm to He Wenna again. The two people who originally had their own belongings have once again become popular because of this matter. He Wenna, who returned to peace, was once again troubled because of the scars she uncovered by her ex-boyfriend.
's seemingly unintentional exposing her shortcomings not only did not earn much understanding for Chen Yibing, but instead made a large number of netizens feel selfish and vulgar.
There is a Chinese proverb: Don’t slap people in the face, and don’t reveal your shortcomings when scolding others.
says that you should know how to not embarrass people at any time and leave room for others.
This is not only to safeguard others' dignity, but also to protect one's own kindness.
Unobstructed is not a personality
but a kind of stupid
Many people claim to be straightforward and unobstructed, believing that other people's tactfulness is a kind of cowardice, and that they dare to speak out at any time is a kind of personality.
doesn't know that this uncontrollable exposing shortcomings not only does not reflect one's own uniqueness, but instead reveals one's own stupidity.
"The Rules of Disciples" says: If a person has shortcomings, don't expose it; if a person has personalities, don't say it.
Everyone has their own shortcomings, and there are some pasts that they don’t want to be mentioned. Don’t tell them casually in public, and don’t spread them everywhere.
This is a harm to others and a manifestation of one's own ignorance.
The master of Chinese painting Zhang Daqian has a long beard. Once during a meal, a friend kept recreating him on the grounds that he had a beard.
Just when everyone felt a little embarrassed, Zhang Daqian told a story calmly.
Liu Bei Back then, he was anxious to avenge his dead sworn brothers Guan Yu and Zhang Fei . Guan Yu and Zhang Fei's sons both took the initiative to ask for a fight for their father.
Liu Bei then asked the two of them to tell what their father's greatest achievements were, and used this as a criterion for judging who will play.
Zhang Fei's son answered fluently, and Guan Yu's son actually said that his father's achievements were "must grow several feet long", which made everyone laugh.
After hearing this, Guan Yu was so angry that the heroic spirit reappeared and scolded his son for being an "unfilial son". The story of
is illusory, but the implication is clear, that is, to use Guan Yu's mouth to tell the friend who was spending his entertainment: "My achievements do not lie in his beard at all." After hearing this, the friend was speechless.
Whether it is an unintentional joke or intentional satire, if you don’t know how to respect others, in the end, others will laugh at you.
Not adding insult to injury is also a kindness
We cannot empathize with everyone's pain, so not adding insult to injury is a kindness.
This year's class reunion, everyone drank and chatted together.
friend Xiaopang just broke up with his girlfriend who was originally engaged, so he was not very interested and sat aside in a lonely manner.
Suddenly, someone asked, "Xiaopang, when will you drink your wedding wine?"
So everyone stared at Xiaopang, and he was stunned in embarrassment and didn't know how to answer.
At this time, the in-depth squad leader hurriedly said:
"I will get married next year. Xiaopang refused to be my best man's wedding date."
said in one sentence to help Xiaopang clear the siege. When he was at the dim point, he did not expose his shortcomings with ridicule, but gave him a little warmth.
We may not be able to help others get out of trouble, so your care for their pain is kindness.
When you see disabled people begging on the road, you may not give alms, but please do not imitate their predicament, laugh at their behavior, and walk past beggars calmly. Isn’t it a kind of kindness?
See through and don’t say it out loud is a kind of wisdom
Chinese studies master Ji Xianlin once said:
"As a person, you should not tell the truth completely, and don’t tell the lies at all."
lies are not told at all, it is the persistence of principles; if the truth is not told completely, it is the protection of kindness.
This is a kind of wisdom that can see through but not tell.
In the first issue of "Hope of Life ", the new guest to the Mushroom House is Ni Ni .
At that time, she had just broken up with Jing Boran , but it did not announce it publicly. In her eyes, she showed her strength to smile many times.
friend He Jiong took all this into consideration.
He took the opportunity to act in the clip of the drama "Secret Love in Peach Blossom Spring" with Huang Lei. He seemed to interpret it for everyone, but in fact he persuaded Ni Ni to be healed by time.
others were immersed in He Jiong's interpretation, and only Ni Ni was filled with tears.
see through and not say it out loud is considerate for others, leaving room for the other party and winning gratitude for herself.
Many people envy others for their high emotional intelligence. In fact, the so-called high emotional intelligence is a little more kind than others who are unwilling to make people ugly.
Interacting with people, you can understand the pain of the other person, understand the difficulty of the other person, and be able to actively protect other people's scars, so you will naturally be a person with high emotional intelligence.
It is a kind of cultivation to understand the pain of others and not embarrass others.
Knowing not to embarrass people is a kind of cultivation
US President Lincoln The cultivation and wisdom have always been rumored to be a beautiful story.
Once, he and his secretary were about to step out of the White House gate when they accidentally saw federal MP Douglas fall at the door of the White House.
Just when the secretary wanted to go forward to help him, Lincoln grabbed him and asked him to retreat back to the door together.
Afterwards, when the secretary asked him in confusion, he said:
"No one was present at that time. If you go to pull him, he knew that someone was embarrassed to see him. "
Sometimes, what we lack is not the enthusiasm to help people, but how to maintain the wisdom of others.
The understanding and respect of taking a step back is a kind of cultivation that emphasizes oneself to others.
The ancestors Confucius Once went out with his disciples. It was going to rain, but he didn't bring rain gear. At this time, he happened to pass by Zixia 's home.
A disciple suggested: "Let's go to Zixia's house to borrow rain gear! ”
Confucius quickly stopped his disciple: “Don’t go, don’t go, Zixia loves money very much, and others cannot borrow his things. "The disciple of
said again: "Does he refuse to borrow a rain gear from the teacher? "
Confucius said:
"I go to borrow rain gear, but he will be embarrassed if he doesn't lend it. But he feels sorry for him. Why should we embarrass him? "
Understanding other people's shortcomings and being able to tolerate other people's shortcomings is a kind of cultivation.
Really cultivated people always know nothing.
Because they know that no one wants to be exposed in public, it is the softest wound in their hearts.
There is a famous saying in the Bible Matthew:
"You should treat others as you want others to treat you. ”
Only in the process of dating can we gain more respect by knowing how to protect other people’s wounds and maintaining their dignity.
Kindness is actually very simple, starting with not revealing shortcomings.
