Mental violence is something that is not familiar and difficult to detect.
Recently, I just went to make up for last year's big-scale drama "Home on the Ramp", which is frightening but a little heartwarming.
"Home on the Ramp"
Douban score is as high as 9.0, with a total of more than 30,000 people rated it.
explains what mental violence is very well, and many people even do not realize that there is "mental violence" in their love. Now, let's take a look at this show.
The heroine Shibasaki Yuki is considered the backbone of Goddess Ni Hong and the male god harvester.
She and Shun Oguri have acted in " Nobunaga Concerto ", " Detective Galileo " with Masaharu Fukuyama, "Orange Years" with his wife, Satoshi Kiki, and " Ando Robot" with his Takuya Kimura . 》…
Well, it is always easy to get out of the way when it comes to goddesses. We go back to "Home on the Ramp", produced by wowow, and the content is really deep.
年0年0年01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月01月The opinions of others made Lishazi lose confidence day by day. Just when the sand was in a state of turmoil, I didn't expect that the national judge who was elected as an alternate must attend every day even if he was an alternate.
, and unfortunately, the case she judged this time was the incident of "the mother murdered an 8-month-old child", which had a great impact on Lisha, and as the lawsuit deepened, those little-known things were slow down. Exposed.
The case is like this:
The defendant Mie Ando killed her eight-month-old daughter, but the defendant's lawyer and prosecutor have completely different opinions.
Prosecutor said:
Because the defendant did not have breast milk, the child cried all day long and grew slowly, and slowly developed malicious intentions towards his child, and in the end he had murderous intentions on his child and murdered his child.
But the defendant's lawyer has a completely different opinion:
He said that the defendant did not have a clear intention to kill, but was forced to be mentally weak by the family, so he unconsciously killed the child. There is a crime, but he can be sentenced to lighter.
It was from this jury that Lishazi slowly embarked on a desperate road.
Next, we look at the second trial. The defendant's husband was interrogated. He came up and said:
It was because he himself was not able to cooperate enough. He saw that his wife was too busy to take care of the children, so he asked his mother to help. , but the wife refused her mother's help. He also said that his wife was afraid of being irresponsible by her mother and refused to take care of her.
He is playing the role of a good husband and finally said that he has to have part of the responsibility.
After the trial of her husband these days, Lishazi encountered something that completely affected her mentality:
On the way back from her mother-in-law's house, the daughter wanted to pick up Lishazi, but Lishazi had something on her hand to carry it because she had something on her hand. It is not convenient to hug it, so my daughter is agitated and coquettish:
So Lisha used a very common method used by parents. She temporarily put her daughter aside and looked at her from a distance.
However, unfortunately, my husband came back and saw this scene. Lishazi panicked and hurriedly went up to explain, but my husband didn't listen at all. He began to worry about Lishazi's mental problems.
Take this opportunity, Lishazi began to collapse step by step.Perhaps some people will be curious, why does such a trivial matter mean so distrust between husband and wife? The wife clearly explained it clearly, why didn’t the husband listen? But if the husband doesn’t listen, he will stop listening. Why does the wife explain repeatedly and let the husband listen? Do you have to let your husband believe in yourself?
Slowly, as the lawsuit and the plot progressed, I finally realized that Lishazi forgot her past memories, and she almost killed her child like the defendant.
What made her remember all this was one day when she left her child on the subway, and came back and cried and begged her child not to tell her husband about this. She was really afraid that her husband was denying her. She can't do it:
But thankfully, Lishazi is still afraid, she has not given up on herself, and has not really numb, so she still has to save her. And those who are truly numb don’t care whether they are afraid or not. Just accept them if they are dominated.
So before he was afraid that he would attack his daughter again, he first proposed to leave home and wrote a divorce application. Leaving this family is her stop loss behavior, her self-rescue behavior, and her desire to find herself at once.
She has not been completely dominated by mental violence.
And the more important reason why she is dominated by her husband's unconscious PUA is that the mother of the original family controls her children since childhood:
In the education from childhood to adulthood, the mother has never recognized her daughter and is always denying her Achievement makes the daughter realize that she is not good, realize that she is a poor child, and make her realize that her child cannot do without her.
So even if you misunderstand the university that was admitted to Tokyo is not recognized, you will not recognize it even if you have your own life after marriage.
So when she saw Lishazi's divorce application, she said: Poor child, hugged Lishazi directly, and then she scolded:
This mother was conscious of the control of the child, but in fact it was okay.
But what is really scary is the unconscious, who takes the child as his own in the name of love, and does not make his child feel that he is an independent individual.
So, when Lishazi had already started to save herself, when she heard her mother say such things, she instantly understood that her mother had clear malice towards her, which also accelerated her awakening.
The ending of this drama is good, and Lishazi has a third party who really sees the relationship between them and their husbands. Instead of binding her with the "ordinary wife theory" and completely locking her back.
and what is the "general wife theory"? While being able to take care of the children smoothly, it can also be accused by the housewife. And the core is not to do this, but to make the wife realize that it is natural to do this.
But you can take good care of your children and take good care of your husband. This is actually a very excellent and outstanding wife. It’s just that the wife has not told her own hardships, which makes the husbands feel that it’s easy to do this. It's taken for granted.
So it is natural for the women around them to take care of their children themselves, but Lishazi cannot take care of their children well. The husband and mother-in-law kept saying that their shortcomings caused Lishazi's mental breakdown. The defendant's experience is exactly the same as that of Lishazi. The difference between defendant and Lishazi is that Lishazi has not killed his child yet.
When she survived, she completely sealed this experience in our minds.
"Mental Violence" The word violence should really be popularized. This is not only to make people realize that they are being mentally violent, but more importantly to let those unconscious mental violence know that they have mental violence. Behavior.
But more importantly, should not stop your brain from functioning at any time.
The ending of this work is good. After Lishazi got rid of the interference of mental violence, she informed the court of her experience and conveyed her consciousness to the hearts of others. The judge also understood what Lishazi said. Although did not reduce the sentence in the end, the sentence said enough to save the defendant's desperate heart:
" However, when he was at a loss for the first time, he lost his confidence because of the words and ruthless words and deeds of the people around him. The fact that people can’t help but cannot even ask for help cannot be denied. "
" Although the defendant’s crime was committed by the defendant alone, the fundamental responsibility must be pursued, and the defendant’s husband and mother-in-law related to this case also have certain responsibilities. ”
The objective words of the judge are enough to warm people’s hearts. Can they warm the husbands who handed all their children to their wives? Parenting is definitely not just a woman’s responsibility.
