Every Valentine’s Day, the media likes to drag a few couples with celebrity status or couples with golden wedding status out for a walk. Show affection, show off your love, show off your feelings... This year, we invited several couples of different ages to ask us questions, allowing them to reminisce about the scene when they first met and the feelings in their hearts. The feeling that the corners have long been dusty. As for love, whether you are suitable to have it or not, we will not teach you, just read on.
But Jujiajun wants to tell everyone who still yearns for marriage: Love and marriage are always the efforts of two people. We have experienced too many partings and breakups in 2020, so please continue to cherish and believe in everything in front of you.
- 1960s -
rose & Mr. F
Marriage age: 30 years
Occupation: Freelancer & medical industry practitioner
"We prefer to surprise each other I am willing to live a normal and healthy life together every day Days. 520, a new type of holiday, is a bit far away from us. "
2020 is the 30th year of marriage for 55-year-old Rose and 61-year-old Mr. F. On the anniversary day, the two went to a restaurant outside to celebrate by drinking some wine.
Back in time 30 years ago, Mr. F was one of the organizers of the China-Japan Marathon Relay. Rose was a third-year university student studying Japanese and was temporarily loaned out to be a translator for Japanese athletes. This was their first acquaintance. At that time, Rose was attracted by Mr. F's excellent organizational skills. However, the relationship between the two came to an end with the end of the event. It wasn't until the following year that Rose was invited again to serve as an interpreter for the China-Japan Marathon Relay that the relationship between the two began to get closer.
"At that time, I felt that he was the person in my life. I got married right after graduating from college and we have been together ever since."
It is difficult for people in this world to find someone who has the same frequency and speaks the same "spiritual language" as you. people, and rose found Mr. F. The same hobbies and the same major have become one of the important elements that shape their relationship.
Mutual trust and non-interference are their daily ways of getting along. Rose is a typical Sagittarius who likes to change and go out whenever she wants. When she wanted to open a store, Mr. F helped her stock the goods and take care of her. She loved going to stores, but he hated going to stores the most, but he accompanied her every time. After Rose resigned, she wanted to go to Japan to learn something new and interesting and slowly think about the second half of her life, so Mr. F took time to accompany her there.
Now Rose has become a Japanese table designer and vegetable nutritionist - something she's always wanted to do. Another thing I want to do most is to find a place that can host the ideal life of the couple.
Now they have a new life. In addition to their fixed residence in Beijing, they also have a second residence that belongs to each other. The almost ideal living conditions of this residence deeply attracted them. That is a kind of life that seems impossible to experience in Beijing, but it is what Rose wants in her heart.
The nearby libraries, art museums, galleries, bookstores, and art centers allow her to immerse herself in the atmosphere of literature and art at her own pace, without having to be stuck in crowded traffic like big cities; drama festivals, literary Festivals, music festivals, and art exhibitions allow them to discover that literature and art can become daily life, poetry is not far away, and life can move toward beauty.
The ideal living environment for the couple is mostly related to friends and sharing: the house has a small courtyard where you can plant your favorite flowers and plants; there is a large living room that can accommodate a full house of guests; there is an open kitchen where you can bake with friends, Cook together.
The current house almost satisfies all these - they have a small yard. Although neither of them is good at growing flowers and plants, they like roses and have planted more than 30 kinds of roses, large and small.
Here, you can see blooming flowers in spring and hear the gurgling rain in summer. The living room is very large. Although it is divided into a dining area and a sofa living room, they are cleverly integrated into one. It will not be cramped if you have more friends... ...Originally, the couple only wanted to use this place as a vacation home, but now they prefer to stay here to experience the different scenery of the four seasons, appreciate the beauty of art, live with warmth, gain nourishment and energy at once, and live out their lives. Come with your favorite look.
Q: In this residence, when both parties are busy, which space do they most like to hang out in? When they need to relax, which space do they most like to stay in? Why?
A: ’s favorite space is the open kitchen. I (rose) started to learn baking by myself 10 years ago. At that time, I was still a famous food blogger with a large group of “fans”. I have very high requirements for food, so I placed the dining table in the large living room, where integrated cabinets and an island were built to meet the needs of many people cooking and having dinner together at the same time. Sometimes, I read books and check my mobile phone here; usually when I am alone with my wife, I eat and watch TV here; I often have afternoon tea with my neighbors here. So this is where I spend the most time and get the most use of the day.
- 1970s -
Sammy & Chris
Marriage age: 11 years
Occupation: Senior fashion designer & architectural designer
Co-operate a design studio: Yuaner
“Our “seasoning” is not suitable for all cuisines. ”
About what is the life you yearn for?
A Chinese and German transnational couple gave the perfect answer. The living space that is half in the city and half in the countryside allows them to enjoy the bustling and crowdedness of the former and the simplicity and tranquility of the latter.
Their story begins 16 years ago.
In 2005, Christian Taeubert, an architectural designer from Germany, came to Beijing to work. Later, under the introduction of a friend, he met fashion designer Sammy.
Two artistic and creative souls collided together and jointly created the brand Guohaner. I have been married for 11 years and have two handsome mixed-race sons and a large, harmonious and friendly family.
A camping meeting held in Chris’s hometown town
Chris, who is from Germany, and Sammy, who spent his childhood in Hebei, although they grew up in very different regions and had different cultures, they both had the same experience of playing freely in the countryside. And hope that children can also spend their childhood in the company of nature. "Children don't have many opportunities to contact nature in the city, and they can't relax and climb trees, roll around, or dig in the soil. But I hope that children can become children and grow up naturally like we did when we were children."
From this, the couple transformed themselves at the foot of the Great Wall. We built a small courtyard and spent two years building a paradise for our two mixed-race babies.
This "paradise" also won the Architecture Masterprize Award.
“For children, they don’t need to greet adults here, they can always find a lot of fun on their own - digging in the sand, climbing trees, picking fruits, picking chestnuts, building blocks, skateboarding, riding bikes, and even wearing branches. Baking slices of bread on the fire is endless fun. "
" For us, although the time to return to the mountain life is only a short two days, it has made the most important insistence on simple life. In autumn and winter, go. Cut some wood for the fire; in the summer, meet up with three or two friends to have a barbecue in the small yard, make pizza by hand, talk over wine, and watch the children running around happily. Being able to share this kind of simplicity and innocence with friends means that there is no time at all. If you think about the annoying things in the city, it will be difficult to remember the specific pressure that surrounds you in the city. "
The tranquility and peace brought by the environment are important ways to relieve stress, but completing the journey of life is not. It’s as simple as improving your living environment. In addition to true self-discovery, true spiritual abundance also requires the awareness that others are also working hard for the life you enjoy.
Chris’s work highlights for Sammy
Sammy said, “Although my husband and I occasionally have some frictions in life and work, I rarely feel anxious about it, and more often think that each other is a good partner. Initially At work, I will stand by his side more and help translate. Because of differences in professional vocabulary or customs, there will be many misunderstandings, but both parties are based on the premise that this matter will not escalate into life and relationships. , just communicate.”
Psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques once defined in his academic work that "midlife crisis" is when you suddenly lose the ability to enjoy life, and for Sammy It is said that the ability to enjoy life has been grasped at the right time. "The middle age I feel happens to be the most enjoyable moment in my life. Now my husband and family are the achievers who make me feel this way."
At the end of the interview, Sammy repeatedly emphasized to us, "We I don’t want to teach other couples how to live their lives. Although many people want to be other people’s life mentors or solvers, he and I just want to tell our own stories and experiences, which every couple has. Their own lifestyles and unique solutions to "middle-aged confusion", our "flavoring" is not suitable for all cuisines. "
Q: The way to get rid of the sense of mid-life crisis
A: Toss it around.
- 1980s -
Yuan Meng & Mr. Ren
Marriage age: 9 years
Occupation: State-owned enterprise employee & travel blogger
"Every anniversary, I will remind him a month in advance, he never disappoints , forget as always. "
This is the 11th year that Yuan Meng and Mr. Ren have been together. One is a slash young man, and the other is an employee of a state-owned enterprise. Although the two met by chance in kindergarten, they really became acquainted after work and through the introduction of a mutual friend. "After we got acquainted, I dug out the photos from kindergarten and found that he was right behind me."
Later, a card confirmed their relationship. "I remember that day he drew a card and asked me to choose whether to be his girlfriend. Later I learned that both choices ultimately pointed to the same answer - to be her girlfriend." Now, the two are celebrating their wedding anniversary. It was also set for that day.
Yuan Meng is a person who pays more attention to the sense of ritual. He will remind each other one month in advance every holiday, but Mr. Ren never disappoints people and forgets them every time. "When I started blaming him, he said that he lived every day as if he were celebrating an anniversary."
Many people say that travel is an important way and standard for testing a couple. As a couple who often travels, Yuan Meng deeply understands this. I have experienced that "taking the wrong intersection may be the trigger for conflict between the two of us." Traveling will nakedly expose many aspects of each other to each other, how to deal with sudden difficulties, and how to face exciting things. Expressing oneself is to make the other party realize themselves more fully. "If you want to know whether you hate the other person more or love the other person more, then use a trip to test it."
It is very clear that the two of them love each other more. A square. "We have been together for almost 11 years, and we still send WeChat messages non-stop every day. If you ask me what specifically we talk about? Everything that happens around us." Yuan Meng is a person who likes to share, and Mr. Ren happens to be someone who is willing to take the initiative to accept New things people. No matter happy, sad, novel or shocking, she would share it with him immediately.
summarized the "three elements" of modern high-level ideal marriage in "Li Yinhe Talks about Love": 1. Both men and women should have independent careers; 2. Both parties should have independent financial resources; 3. Both parties should have independent financial resources in the relationship. The personalities are equal to . The relationship between the slash young man Mr. Ren and the state-owned enterprise employee Yuan Meng perfectly presents this concept.
Two people recently bought a new house. Regarding their fantasy of an ideal living space, for them, in addition to being able to accommodate a family of seven, a learning space for their children is essential. In the preliminary planning, it is planned to save public spaces such as TV cabinets and use them as functional areas for reading and practicing piano with children. "Reading with my children, planting green plants, and him playing the piano and me playing the piano together are the warmest home in my heart."
Q: As a travel blogger, do you have any recommendations for destinations suitable for your family to go together in June?
A: If you have children and don’t want to go to crowded places, I recommend going to the Hulunbuir Prairie in Inner Mongolia. After June, the grass will turn green and the mountain flowers will bloom. Let the children see another side of the motherland, not only High-rise buildings, or vast grasslands, vast land.
- 90s -
Xiaoquan & Qian Donglei
Love: 3 years
Occupation: Freelance photography blogger
"My love started with a Didi The driver’s confession is pretty cool now that I think about it. "
Xiaoquan lives in Shenzhen, and her boyfriend Qian Donglei is based in Shanghai. Both are freelance photography bloggers and have been in a relationship for nearly three years, most of which they have been apart of. Sometimes we meet several times a month, sometimes only two or three times a year. "Sometimes I think it would be nice to go to different places together, but in a relationship, I always think that "remaining independent and possessing each other appropriately" is the normal way to get along.
In terms of love, Xiaoquan takes the initiative when he likes it The person they are pursuing. The acquaintance between the two began with a private message from her, "We are not in the same city. I accidentally found his account on the Internet and was attracted by his attitude towards life. He has a cat and his appearance." My type. Then a private message was sent, asking for contact information. "She had no idea of establishing a romantic relationship with him at first, but with the help of a Didi driver, she crossed over from friend to lover.
"After we met, we went out together. The Didi driver who took us out may have sensed my liking for him from his words. He joked, should I drive slower or faster? I immediately replied, you can get off the car." "
After getting off the bus, it was the lovely Didi master who called Qian Donglei to tell him Xiaoquan's thoughts, and the two officially confirmed their relationship.
Maybe it’s because of the long distance, and the conflicts between the two people in love always exist in some small things in daily life; maybe it’s because the other party said something that they think is irrelevant... The two people’s growth experience, long-term distance The resulting friction in life during a short-term relationship will bring some challenges to the relationship, but Xiaoquan knows that any relationship must be tempered before it can go deeper. "Just live in the present. The casual love has not changed after so many years. Let's leave the incident to the future."
The way they get along is very similar to the "free and independent" love model that many people think of now: busy at work of professionals choose to become weekend/monthly couples, living and working separately on weekdays and having more fun together; love does not mean becoming one, and being able to still be oneself in a love relationship is the highest level of freedom.
Recently, the two are planning to move to the same city, but this is a matter of the future after all. Xiaoquan does not think too much about what will happen in the future. She is more concerned about the present, "It's comfortable to be together, and we can understand each other. It is more important to tolerate each other. ”
Q: Many people say that the same hobbies are the mediator of love. Both of you are freelance photographers. Do you have similar experiences or experiences?
A: Yes, having the same hobbies will make it easier to get happy. But sometimes we are very different, because he is more calm and I am more impulsive. So we are both similar and complementary, which is great.
#520# #fashion home# #life diary#
planning / Vivian
editing / Chaonan
vision / LZZ
pictures / above Respondent
Some of the materials are from the magazine "Fashion Home"
