I am a soldier
Wherever you need it
For the country and the people
- "I am a soldier"
Tangyuan is a famous snack in Ningbo where the army is stationed, and it is also a custom during the Lantern Festival in my hometown. When I was young, my mother would carefully make stuffing, knead the dough, and knead the skin. Then she would shape the dough into a small bowl, put the stuffing in it, knead it gently into a ball, and rub it in the palm of her hand to make glutinous rice balls.
The glutinous rice balls printed with my mother’s palm prints are floating in the pot, just like I am running around in a sea of people, and I will never be able to leave her mark.
I am missing from the five elements at home, and it is a long story to say that I miss you.
I am a home-loving person at heart. For me, being able to eat white rice at home is more important than anything else. That indescribable sense of security and happiness is like tucking long johns into socks in winter.
So when I was in middle school, my mother had to run several kilometers home every day just so that I could taste her craftsmanship.
When I went to serve in the army, my grandmother blamed my mother for making me choose a road that would not allow me to go home. My mother said: If you don’t want to go back, don’t go back. Anyway, your life is not long.
I often wonder, how much does my mother like me to be so gentle and strong?
I don't know. Every time she talks about her family, she says, "It's very good, but the five elements are missing you."
Just like that, in my junior year, she had an operation without telling me; in my fifth year, she carried her fainted grandmother to the hospital for rescue; when she first started working, she stayed at my grandfather’s funeral hall until I Arrive. In February this year, she rushed to a hospital in another province alone.
The day the test results came out, she called me happily. Only then did I know that she was wandering around in fear of life and death with hidden worries about cancer.
I listened to her crying with joy on the other end of the phone, but here she was holding tears in her eyes and dared not speak out.
In the past, she said, we and I depended on each other and we had to discuss everything. But after joining the army, she became taciturn and faced all the things that should be shouldered together by herself.
Since I was missing from the five elements at home, all emotions have become a long story, only longing has become a long story.
My mother has never said those thoughts of "raising a child for a hundred years and worrying about ninety-nine", but I have seen a glimpse of it in the words of the writer Huang Chunming -
"I didn't know until today, mother I’ve been cooking for you since I gave birth. Now if you don’t come back to eat, mom will have nothing to do. She doesn’t want to do anything, not even eat.”
It’s another Lantern Festival, and the whole family is reunited on the other side of the phone. We drank and drank, but I knew that after I left, my mother never made glutinous rice balls again.
I dare to imagine the world, but I don’t dare to miss home.
The smell of the new year has not faded away, and the monitor who was on vacation is back. He said that the night before leaving home, his mother sighed and said, "At this time tomorrow, your father and I will be the only ones left." His nose felt sour and he had to put his head down to eat.
He booked a flight in the morning and had to get up and leave home at 4 a.m. He didn't fall asleep, and neither did his mother. When his uncle and aunt sent him out, his aunt cried, and his uncle turned to scold her: "It's the New Year..." Before he finished speaking, his eyes turned red.
The monitor's eyes were red as he spoke. I asked him if he missed home? He shook his head like a rattle and said, "No."
But he didn't know that the feeling of homesickness would come out of his eyes even if he covered his mouth.
After leaving home, I dared to imagine the world, but I didn’t dare to miss home.
Military is an epic hymn. In the ups and downs of my life, I have written about the pain and joy of soldiers, but I never dared to write about the homesickness of soldiers because I was afraid that at some point, I would cry in front of others. Got to be a mess.
I keep studying and working hard just to raise my head and tell everyone that I am living well alone, but not to let everyone know how much I miss home.
Things that cannot be reached are called distant places, and those that cannot be returned are called hometown.
It’s the Lantern Festival again, and a classmate who just got a signal after going to sea updated his circle of friends, which almost made people cry - they have the sea, but they have lost the earth.
In front of "home", we are all children. Every time we think of it, we will shed tears of grievance.
In the past, I studied hard for my ideal, but my ideal is to "leave my hometown"; but now, I work overtime, and I don't dare to let my mind go back, because I know that if I never forget it, I want to "go back to my hometown"!
Facing people from afar, not all are good at saying goodbye
Going home or leaving hometown. A friend who met and applied for the same school at the time gave me a postcard when we were saying goodbye. It said, "Sixpences are all over the floor, but you look up." I saw the moon."
Between meeting each other and saying goodbye again and again, I became what he called "a person with stories."
Every night when only my shadow and I are left, when I have all kinds of emotions that I can’t express, I will think of the glutinous rice balls made by my mother. Those "stories" will float with the boiling water, like sesame seeds hidden deep under the skin of glutinous rice balls, rich in flavor that only those who eat them will understand.
Even in this city famous for glutinous rice balls, I have never felt the aroma that I can't forget.
The sense of smell and recognition of home are like the talent of Chinese people to integrate into the blood; while the waving and forgetting of homeland are like shortcomings that we cannot correct.
Even if I have listened to 10,000 songs, watched 1,000 movies, and read 100 books, I still haven’t learned how to say goodbye to my family.
Because I know that no method can be perfect and appropriate, and no words can be appropriate and comprehensive.
Because I know that when I look in the direction of the sea, the eyes of my relatives are always on me.
Because I know that what my family lacks the most is me, Cheng Huan’s companionship; I know that when I am away from home, the core of the topic at home is still me; I know that I work so hard, but what I can give to this family is still too meager. , It’s not even enough to offset the guilt and uneasiness in my heart; I know that I owe my family too much.
The preciousness of time does not lie in the success of quantitative accumulation, but in that it can never give us the right to accompany our parents again. But since I started to face the distance, I also believe that they also hope that I can stick to my ideals instead of being like a salted fish.
After all, anyone who has this longing will understand that the meaning of life is not to create many surprises, but to reduce how many regrets.
has this belief that it is us who accompany our parents as they grow old, not the years; it is the present that brings laughter to the family, not memories.
There are too many stories that have happened in the city of Ningbo. After the New Year, the streets became increasingly crowded, making it even more unclear how many encounters and partings occurred every minute.
But Ningbo still insisted that her children eat a bowl of glutinous rice balls on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, which symbolizes reunion.
Take a bite of the glutinous rice balls, and the sesame seeds in the filling will flow out, like tears.
The glutinous rice balls also seem to be missed, and the filling accidentally leaks out.
There are many people and many things in life. After experiencing them, you will forget them when you turn around. But deep in everyone's heart, what will never be forgotten is mother. Time has burned away my mother’s youth, but her care and encouragement will be with me forever.
Good night!
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