Recently, a reader told me about her troubles in choosing a partner : She looks down on the rich second generation who is of equal status because they only know how to eat, drink and have fun; she dare not marry the ambitious Phoenix man, for fear of attracting the wolf into the house poses a threat to the family property.
In fact, this is also the dilemma of many white, rich and beautiful women and career women.
Then, I will take "Modest Minion" as an example in " Human Comedy " to discuss the issue of choosing a spouse.
01.
"Most people confuse happiness with economic means. In their opinion, wealth is the most important factor in happiness. No matter what era, social emotions have long turned wealth into a religion."
She Born from a noble . Her father Charles was the last descendant of cardinal . She once served as a soldier and married the only daughter of German banker When she went to business, she became Normandy h.
There is a young man named George who is fanatical fell in love with their property , and did everything he could to lure Modest's sister to Paris and abandon her.
My sister suffered from a serious illness and died of depression.
Modest's mother was heartbroken and locked herself in the bedroom and cried for a whole month, blinding her eyes.
Financial crisis is coming, and the Minion family goes bankrupt. In order to make a living, Charles decides to go abroad to do business.
Before leaving, he entrusted Modest to his close friend Du Mei and his wife for taking care of him.
Dume has received favor from Charles and is loyal to him. In order not to let Modest repeat her sister's tragedy, she is strictly guarded every day and never leaves her.
Before bankruptcy, the Minion and his wife learned their lesson and decided to marry Modest as soon as possible. They chose the son of a wealthy banker, but after their family went bankrupt, the playboy immediately abandoned his fiancée and married someone else.
After that, people talked about Modest, most of them were insulting remarks.
She laughed at it all over.
Since her sister died, she has not only taken care of her mother in person, but also devoted herself to studying.
She is proficient in German and French, and she learned English with Mrs. Dumei, and often read the works of Byron , Goethe , Schiller , Hugo and others.
During this period, she fell in love with the poet Canari, and the other party's poems soothe her pain and resonated with her.
So she wrote him a letter expressing his love for his works and his own curiosity.
Canaria was having a relationship with the Duchess of Saulier and was unwilling to reply to her letter, so he asked his secretary Ainister de Labriel to reply to him.
As a result, Modest and Ainist became pen pals and began a coincidence of letters.
02.
" Passion is the real absolute thing among all things in the world. It never admits that it is wrong. A girl's worship is stronger than any condemnation in society."
Shire returned to China and became the richest man in the local area again.
He was afraid that his youngest daughter would also become the target of the money-worshiping man, so he deposited most of his property in the bank, leaving only about one million as public property, making others think that Modest had only 200,000 francs dowry.
Aynest fell in love with Modest, took the initiative to find Shire, and confessed to him about his correspondence with Modest.
Charles told him that his daughter only had a dowry of more than 200,000 yuan.
Enest immediately said: "I have some protectors who will be the audit director in the future. Even if Miss Modest only has 10,000 francs, I am willing to pay her dowry. Just as you make your wife happy, I want to make your daughter happy and truly be your son."
The locals learned about his true wealth from the Shire's ship number and the Earl's title. They both regarded Modest as the richest heir in Normandy, and came to her house to propose to her.
This includes Baron Canary, Einester and Duke de Eluville, who used to disdain for her.
03.
"The birds take good care of their nests for only a few days, and I have to take good care of their heart nests for the rest of my life."
In order to avoid repeating my sister's tragedy, Modest gathered the three suitors together and conducted a three-week investigation.
Finally, she chose Aynest as her husband through various strategies and talent.
The king approved Charles' request to pass the surname and family emblem of the Minion family to Einest, and stipulated that he and Modest's later eldest son inherit the family territory and property.
Although Modest rejected the Duke, he expressed his willingness to be his friend and invest in his business. The Duke happily accepted her kindness and led her to successfully enter the upper class circle.
At the same time, after hearing about Canali's concealment and deception from the Duchess, Modest took a small revenge on Canali.
Canari did not dare to turn against her, so she had to run to the Duchess again to shake her tail and beg for mercy.
The Duchess believed his nonsense and won him the title of Minister to Karlsruch.
Charles invited the famous surgical expert DePlan to perform surgery on his wife. After the operation, Mrs. Minion finally saw her son-in-law with her own eyes.
She held Modest's hand and attached it to her daughter's ear and said: "Let me choose, I will pick him."
Then, Modest and Ainister held a grand wedding.
After marriage, Ainister then felt how sweet the marriage is and how easy it is to marry an educated and smart woman.
And Modest has been the pride and happiness of her husband since then, and the pride and happiness of her family and friends.
04.
"Now in France, no one is as rich as that, who can do a ridiculous thing about marrying a woman based on her character, charm, temperament or beauty."
Among the three suitors of Modest, Canary was of noble origin and a famous poet and academician of the French Academy.
He was highly valued by the king and was appointed as an officer of the Medal of Honor and an examiner of the Administrative Court of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
In life, he likes luxury, pays attention to pomp, and is eager to get rich, which is completely different from his works.
When he first received the letter from Modest, he disdained to reply.
He believes that the person who wrote the letter was either an old British woman or a poor girl with an ugly appearance looking for her husband everywhere. The reason is: "The young, beautiful and rich princesses are simply too busy. They are as educated but extremely stupid as strange flowers and plants. The noble young men as empty as elderberry formed a fence and had already surrounded them.”
When he learned that Modest had six million, he regretted it: “A girl with six million property! But my eyes couldn't see gold flashing through the darkness! With this huge wealth, maybe I can become a member of the French House of Nobles, earl, and ambassador! ”
He left the duchess who had been with him for ten years and came to the Modest's house. He was full of confidence and determined to show all his attractive skills on the one hand, and pretend to be disdainful of her to stimulate her self-esteem.
At this time, the poor duchess was still running for him so that he could get the third-class medal and ambassador position.
He wanted both the beauty and wealth of Modest, and the power and status of the Duchess. He concealed his relationship with Modest from Modest, and slandered Modest at the Duchess: "Modest is short, pale, blue veins are exposed, and he also shows off his charm to me. I rejected her because I only think of you. "
When someone told him that Modest had only 200,000, he immediately lost interest in her and turned to comfort the Duchess.
From this, Modest saw this great poet clearly. Once he gave up his true advantage, that is, the advantage of wisdom, he was just a genuine hypocritical villain.
He had seen Modest before and was deeply impressed by her beauty, but her family went bankrupt at that time and could not meet his requirements. Under the guidance of his aunt, he pursued another wealthy daughter. As a result, his pursuit failed, and his attitude towards women also changed.
He worshiped the noble lady and socialites with all his best attitude, but he had a bad attitude towards women who were easy to get started.
The actress he kept commented on him: "He seems to be a piece of jewelry that is carefully carved. It is more when it is shown to people and less when it is really worn, so he stays in the cotton ball in the jewelry box. "
On the surface, he has the highest title, but in fact, he is just an empty shell, his family is not enough to make ends meet, and he is not charming at all.
05.
" The real test is pain and happiness. When the two people pass these two tests of life, each of them has exposed their strengths and weaknesses in the process, and they have also observed each other's personalities, they can walk hand in hand to the grave. "
Modest said: "I feel very powerful and able to grasp my whimsical fantasy. I can build a fortress with my own hands, so that those who guard me like a treasure will strengthen this fortress with their infinite loyalty. ”
She told us that when choosing a spouse, you can keep these four points in mind so that you can keep money and love.
Modest said: "In a girl's life, only at this moment of choosing a spouse, thinking, intuition, and experience are essential to her. She is gambling with her freedom and her happiness, but you neither throw the dice to her nor give her dice. She could only pretend to be a bet. Since I have rights, wishes, and abilities, and have been allowed to choose myself, I will also use these rights like my mother. I want to marry my soul first, and then get married legally for a long time. "
When it comes to choosing a spouse, don't believe anything "It's the same for everyone to marry" . Don't be careless about your parents' urge to get married, and don't get married simply because of the superficial factors such as "He is good to me" .
Parents should listen to both the words, and friends' suggestions should be considered, but the right to choose a spouse should be in your own hands.
2. mate selection requires balance.You can’t just look at the other person’s status or fame, but the other person’s overall quality.
Among the three suitors, the duke has the highest status and Kanali has the greatest fame. Compared with the two of them, Ainister's origin, fame and status are almost the same.
But he is better because of his handsome appearance, which makes people pleasing to the eye from the outside.
has real talent and knowledge. He gave the secretary who had been in existence for five years and helped Kanali do a lot of things.
Life is consistent, has no bad habits, and does not like luxury and show off.
Kind heart, modest and polite, with a proper manner and a stable temperament.
The most important thing is that he has little ambition and has a good character.
Modest chose him, although he was married, he chose the right person.
Although Ainister is not as good as her in terms of wealth, he is not inferior to her in terms of pattern, cognition, character, vision, wisdom, and personality.
Modest was very angry when he learned that Ainest was not Canari.
she s feel that the other party is in a false position and all feelings are fake. I love a person who is as upright as my father, a person who will not disguise himself or cheat like an actor, or someone who will not apply the powder of other people's fame on his cheeks. People who steal other people's fame and surnames may also slip away from the door and pick locks, steal vaults, and block the road and kill people.
But her father said that she had absolutely no relationship and knew nothing about life.
As long as you have experienced feelings, you will understand that there is no one in the world who meets your ideals 100%. If there is one, it will definitely be a pig killing. Therefore, the conditions should be relaxed occasionally and admitted in an extraordinary way.
Hunchback Bicha is Modest's close friend and her military advisor.
He carefully observed the three suitors and came to the following conclusion:
"The Duke loves you very much, but he loves your property. And he is too humble. You don't like others to worship you in the celestial niche, because you are an unusual woman. Canali doesn't love you, he likes himself better than you, and you don't like a selfish man who keeps crawling at your feet. What you want is a sweet emotional equality, and constantly sharing life, and you are sure to be able to like the other person. These things can't be found when marrying Canali. He wants to get them all. To your property. In his mind, the self is the only character. He is a second-class ambitious guy. Whether you maintain dignity or bow your head, it doesn't matter to him. He will regard you as a necessity in the family. This indifferent attitude of self-esteem is an insult to you. Only Einest is ready to dedicate his life to you anytime and anywhere, and to dedicate his honor to you. "
Under Bicha's guidance, Modest understood what he wanted, so he gathered the three suitors together to observe them in an all-round and multi-dimensional way.
She deliberately contradicted her parents and observed their attitude towards the family.
She spoke wildly, humiliated Ainist many times, and observed their attitude towards their rivals.
She released a rumor saying that she did not have a dowry of six million at all, and observed their attitude towards property.
She held a hunting meeting and invited princes, ministers, noble ladies and socialites from all walks of life. Observe their attitude towards the powerful.
Good men are compared.
Under the comparison between Duke and Canari, Einest's advantages are clear.
In short, no matter which era, women need to be cautious in choosing a spouse, especially for women with birth.
Marriage is a big gamble. If you want to win, you must be as smart and wise as Modest, take every step and stick to the bottom line.
Never get married ignorant, blind, and passively, and don’t be blinded by love. For the sake of some emotional value, turn yourself into a bloodsucking bag and stepping stone for money-worshiping men and men, and ultimately you have nothing but morality.
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